Significant Others

April 7, 2005

I found out about caching a couple months back. Anyways. to make a long story short, i'm hooked, so is my girlfriend. Problem is. Now she will not let me go out without her. I could be caching right now, but she is very disapproving when I even mention going out caching without her. Of course due to school, work, conflicting schedules, this makes it possible to go out maybe once a week, if that.

Was wondering. Does anyone else have this issue?

It seems i've hooked my girlfriend and it backfired somewhat. I want to hear some chiming in from some caching couples out there.

[disclaimer: I love you, babe, this thread was about someone else. that's it]

4.2k · April 7, 2005

Have her open her own account so she doesn't miss out on the caches that you do.

April 7, 2005

My exGF slowed me down a lot, as she's a self-admitted klutz.

We split up for other reasons, though, so it wasn't because of caching.

So, for now, I go solo, or drag a buddy along.

April 7, 2005

well, to me it sounds like a bad relationship but what do I know?

April 7, 2005

Acuallly, my girlfriend is the reason i keep geocaching. It gives us time together and she really gets a kick out of going to new places and especially finding and looking at the goodies inside the caches. I would say slow down a little and enjoy the moments together.

2.2k · April 7, 2005

i have to say, if you're even considering geocaching above the girlfriend then the relationship doesn't sound that strong. forgive me if i'm reading moreinto that than i should. but caching is a hobby, something to do when you have time to kill....it's not something that's important enough to become an issue between two people.

3.9k · April 7, 2005

Significant other?

I'm looking for one that can read a contour map and GPS.

Avoiding... "This GPS is messed up because the arrow is pointing behind us?"

April 7, 2005

It's not even an issue, nor grounds for a fight.

I just want to cache all the time, and to my benefit, I have alot more free time than she does. But I can't use it for caching, 'cause she has to go!

dadgum this love thing!

3.3k · April 7, 2005

My wife likes to geocache with me also. I take my daughter whenever I have the chance. Having a 2 month old son has severely slowed my caching down. I get bummed, and get cabin fever, but family has to come first. I learned my lesson along time ago.

Rule number fifteen was written because of what happened to me. http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_detai...93-a2b716f0f818

April 7, 2005

My wife likes to geocache with me also. I take my daughter whenever I have the chance. Having a 2 month old son has severely slowed my caching down. I get bummed, and get cabin fever, but family has to come first. I learned my lesson along time ago.

Rule number fifteen was written because of what happened to me. http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_detai...93-a2b716f0f818

Excellent quiz. Ugh oh.

18.9k · April 7, 2005

My wife is actually a better hider then I am and 2 sets of eyes are much better than 1 - so I perfer it when she goes with me.

I Love you Mrs. StarBrand!!!!!!

3.3k · April 7, 2005

My wife likes to geocache with me also. I take my daughter whenever I have the chance. Having a 2 month old son has severely slowed my caching down. I get bummed, and get cabin fever, but family has to come first. I learned my lesson along time ago.

Rule number fifteen was written because of what happened to me. http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_detai...93-a2b716f0f818

Excellent quiz. Ugh oh.

I locked my keys in my truck at 6:00 am. I had to call my wife, and wake her up.

After getting dressed, waking and dressing my daughter, she came to my rescue. Needless to say, she was not a vey happy camper.

I resorted to finding caches without a gps for two weeks :blink:

April 7, 2005

We cache as a couple. Wouldn't have it any other way. We enjoy getting out and about, going to places we didn't know existed.

I enjoy hiding the caches, whereas Susan is the BEST at finding deviously hidden caches. That's why we are a team.

If, though, for various reasons one of us doesn't have the time, then we don't go. Simple.

April 7, 2005

I have alot more free time than she does. But I can't use it for caching, 'cause she has to go!

riiiiiight

:blink:

congratulations on finding. . .

um. . .

happiness :blink:

uh. . .

it's always a good thing when your SO puts restrictions on you like that. . .

:sad:

shows they care about you unselfishly. . .

and stuff.

April 7, 2005

We cache as a couple. Wouldn't have it any other way. We enjoy getting out and about, going to places we didn't know existed.

I enjoy hiding the caches, whereas Susan is the BEST at finding deviously hidden caches. That's why we are a team.

If, though, for various reasons one of us doesn't have the time, then we don't go. Simple.

Thats exactly how we are. But my names not Susan :blink:

April 7, 2005

My girlfriend and I go caching together. She sometimes gets upset with me if I go geocaching without her. If I go caching without her I stick to caches that she would not like to hunt. Normally, these are either lame parking lot micro caches that I find on my way home from work, or they are caches that involve a lot of hiking or rock climbing.

6.4k · April 7, 2005

[disclaimer: I love you, babe, this thread was about someone else. that's it]

Well, I think your disclaimer might get you in more trouble then the post but.................... :blink:

My GF and I have our own accounts, but we were both cachers with hundreds of finds each before we met. Now, we cache together or not at all. Yeah, my job allows me more caching time then hers does, but that's ok. It's really just not as much fun caching without her.

1k · April 7, 2005

Your girlfriend should not be jealous of what you do in your free time, as long as it doesn't involve another woman. Maybe you can save the really good ones to do with her. Maybe you can let her decide which ones you will do together and which ones you can do alone.

Just a thought--hey, what do I know--I'm divorced!

April 7, 2005

Thats exactly how we are. But my names not Susan

Glad to hear it! :sad: Susan is an angel though! :blink:

April 7, 2005

I would say it would be okay to cache alone. My husband and I are hooked on this and we just started. We both have opposit schedules until the weekend so we never have any timetogether during the week and I encourage him togo alone. There are some cache's that would just bore him to death so I'll do those alone. He did one that was a real challenge so he's going to have me do it in the future. Just talk to her about it andbe nice...

April 7, 2005

I say what a girlfriend/wife doesn't know won't hurt them. Problem is, my wife checks my stats from time to time.

Edited April 7, 2005 by tnfishdaddy

April 7, 2005

My wife says she likes caching, and seems to be offended when I go caching without her. Yet she shows no intrest in ever going caching, and acts like I'm some sort of obsessive maniac anytime I mention it.

So, I go caching at lunchtime, or on the way to or from work. This kinda rules out the caches I love the best, ones that require time, either to figure out or to get to.

I rarely tell her about the caching. I don't like feeling like I've got something to hide (well, from her at least, I like hiding stuff from other cachers ) but this way works.

Edited April 7, 2005 by VegasCacheHounds

9.2k · April 7, 2005

We have a modern, open georelationship. She is free to seek other caches. I am free to seek other caches. But we still are happiest when we are seeking the same cache at the same time.

April 7, 2005

Yup, I have a geocaching anchor too. I'm still trying to figure out if he'll worry about me or just be jealous. lol. He likes to keep this a family sport. BUT I spend way too much time here to know of the great 5 star-caches out there! I'm going kicking & screaming! lol

Disclaimer: I DO love caching with my 1NatureGirls; they will remember each expericence forever, and that is priceless!

April 7, 2005

My girlfriend (FallenFaery) and I cache alot together but we also do our fair share alone or with others. I agree with previous posters. Get her her own account and then cache away.

We play a little game to see if we can "milestone" together. It's happened four times now.

Edited April 7, 2005 by Special Ed

April 7, 2005

Julia and I cache together a bit. She loves micros and is usually better at spotting them quickly than I am. The other caches which involve hiking she doesn't mind until the time comes to leave the trail and bushwhack, climb hills, etc. At that point, we break out the FMRS radios, she stays on the trail and cheers me on, and off I go to find the hide. More often than not, I cache alone or with other buddies. She has hobbies of her own (scrapbooking, crafts, etc.) that she devotes a lot of time to. My caching solo is never an issue with her. I'm blessed.

Matt

1.6k · April 7, 2005

We are a team , yet because of circumstances we cannot always cache together .

Therefore , Wulf has my support to cache without me and he supports my right to find caches without him .

If we happen among a really special one then we will wait till time allows us to be together to find it !

We log all our finds "together" because we are a team , we only log a find once (even though only one may have been there and the other visits at a later time )

We share a geocaching account as we share our life together , unselfishly.

Note : this is just what works for us , dosen't mean it is how everyone would want to play this game, others chose to have seperate accounts and there is nothing wrong with that either !

Star

April 7, 2005

We have a modern, open georelationship. She is free to seek other caches. I am free to seek other caches. But we still are happiest when we are seeking the same cache at the same time.

GirlGeek and I, too. As a matter of a fact she's going out every day now while I'm staying in. The thing is that we live 200 miles apart and I'd found 20 or so in Fort Wayne before I even met her.

EDIT: The reason for the quote I completely forgot.

It sure makes it easier to justify lone caching when long distances are involved. Leps, don't you live on the moon now?

Edited April 7, 2005 by Bjorn74

April 7, 2005

My wife would like to join me for caching more, but being pregnant and in a doctoral program have cut into her free time. She does not mind when I cache alone; she only minds when I do so for longer than I said I would be gone. I need to work on my estimates of time and everything will be OK. My daughter has her own account, but at age 3 she is not up for every cache I hunt.

1.2k · April 7, 2005

Danger! Danger! Danger! Someday you may have to choose between earthly love and heavenly geocaching.

2.3k · April 7, 2005

Danger! Danger! Danger! Someday you may have to choose between earthly love and heavenly geocaching.

Ah... nevermind.

Edited April 7, 2005 by joefrog

April 7, 2005

My wife is slowing our team down a little. Says that being pregnant has something to do with it...

She likes to go with me but has no problem if I go alone sometimes. Reasonable gal, she is.

4.8k · April 7, 2005

I'm pretty independent and such. I also like to spend a good amount of time by myself. If someone told me I could only go caching with him, I would dump him. If someone told me to give up caching, not go caching alone, or acted annoying about caching in general, I would dump him. I'm pretty picky that way.

Fortunately I do not have any current problems in this area.

April 7, 2005

As long as this control issue manifests itself only in geocaching you should be OK. Now, if you can’t go play softball with your friends, visit your old buddies, or you’re not “allowed” to go out drinking either, it might be best to have an honest discussion with her about her insecurities. It might seem cute now, but trust me, it only gets worse.

You might also consider:

Go geocache but only locate the containers, don’t open it or sign the log. Then go back together and finish them up.

April 7, 2005

You might also consider:

Go geocache but only locate the containers, don’t open it or sign the log. Then go back together and finish them up.

You're kidding right??

I say find the darn things.. log 'em and if she wants to hunt the caches you have already found then go along with her. It's fun to watch them search when you know where it's at.

FallenFaery and I often visit caches that the other has found already. No biggie!

Oh.. growing a set of conjones might help also! (just a joke, don't get nuts )

Edited April 7, 2005 by Special Ed

April 7, 2005

You might also consider:

Go geocache but only locate the containers, don’t open it or sign the log. Then go back together and finish them up.

You're kidding right??

I was trying to be diplomatic. My gut instinct in that situation (control issues) would be to run run run away. Been there, done that, and it sucks.

Edited April 7, 2005 by YouKnowMe

April 7, 2005

You might also consider:

Go geocache but only locate the containers, don’t open it or sign the log. Then go back together and finish them up.

You're kidding right??

I was trying to be diplomatic. My gut instinct in that situation (control issues) would be to run run run away. Been there, done that, and it sucks.

I hear ya... control freaks are bad. Was married to one for waaayyyy too long.

Things are good now... no great now!!

7.3k · April 7, 2005

I have more free time than my mate - I have had to learn not to rush out and find every near new cache, so that the only caches available when he has time are a long drive away. As a MEFFaholic, this can be painful, but I'm working on it. There are 6 new within 15 miles of me as I type this, and I'M NOT GOING OUT AFTER THEM (I'm NOT going out after them, I'm NOT going out after them, I'm NOT going.....). We'll go together this weekend. Even though the virgin unsigned logs are calling calling calling.....

April 7, 2005

yeah, I think the main thing is finding out WHY she has "issues" about you caching without her, and then determing whether her issues are valid ones and if so, whether you can discuss/resolve it together. If she feels there are a limited number of caches in your area, and that if you seek out caches on your own that you might be less inclined to then go with her to those same caches that she hasn't yet found, then that's a legitimate concern -- she likes you, and if you're both busy people (or she is, apparently) then she wants to "optimize" the limited time she has to share with you, and wants to spend that shared time doing something she knows you enjoy doing with her. If that's the case, then she sounds like a keeper, to me.

BUT (and I DO have a big but....)

If you encourage her to talk freely about her needs, wants, etc., and through those open uncensored chats, she reveals herself to you as a control-freak who wants to dictate or monitor your every minute (in or out of her presence), then be thankful that you found that out early enough before you invested too much time, energy, etc in a relationship that probably wouldn't be satisfying to you, for the long haul.....

Or, your situation might fall somewhere in between the two heaven-and-hell extremes described above........

TALK to her.......LISTEN to her......the truth always has a way of revealing itself.....

April 7, 2005

Here's a fresh idea...how about tracking some benchmarks? I know my wife and kids don't get much out of finding a metal chunk stuck in the side of a bridge on a busy highway..nor would I really want them there either. This kinda goes along with the idea of doing the long hike ones and harder difficulty ones. Stuff they don't want to mess with.

We have the same issue with playing Toontown Online -- I try to find OTHER stuff to do in the game, instead of increasing my character past my wife's..but it's hard to do that all the time and she understands that...a little bit

April 7, 2005

For the guys, the solution is simple ... I stumbled onto it accidently. Take the SO on a couple of extreme geocaching outings ... if it involves wading, briars, mud, poison ivy, mosquitos, ticks and a tough 6 mile hike ... it is probably perfect. If you can get a thunderstorm into the mix, just as you reach the top of that mountain, that's good too. And no bathroom within 20 miles. After that you will probably find that she will not be too eager to go geocaching with you, and will actually require encouragement and promises like "I am sure you will enjoy this one honey". If all this does not work, and she still wants to go without a complaint, you should marry this woman, if you have not already.

4.8k · April 7, 2005

For the guys, the solution is simple ... I stumbled onto it accidently. Take the SO on a couple of extreme geocaching outings ... if it involves wading, briars, mud, poison ivy, mosquitos, ticks and a tough 6 mile hike ... it is probably perfect. If you can get a thunderstorm into the mix, just as you reach the top of that mountain, that's good too. And no bathroom within 20 miles. After that you will probably find that she will not be too eager to go geocaching with you, and will actually require encouragement and promises like "I am sure you will enjoy this one honey". If all this does not work, and she still wants to go without a complaint, you should marry this woman, if you have not already.

You do know that can work the opposite direction where the woman is the outdoorsy one and the man is not don't you????

Edited April 7, 2005 by carleenp

April 7, 2005

You do know that can work the opposite direction where the woman is the outdoorsy one and the man is not don't you????

I'll second that... you chauvinistic males should be spanked

Just a few minutes of bushwacking in a muddy forest were enough to convince my husband he didn't like caching (though that truly wasn't my goal, I'd like if he came along sometimes).

So, as for orienteering, hiking and fishing, alone I go. We each have our favorite activities and we both accept it (would be hard to have a lasting relationship otherwise). The only problem is that we have only one car... I hate caching with a deadline because I have to go pick him up or hè's coming to pick me up.

April 7, 2005

You do know that can work the opposite direction where the woman is the outdoorsy one and the man is not don't you????

Nah ... those relationships usually don't last long enough for such things to become issues.

6.4k · April 7, 2005

You do know that can work the opposite direction where the woman is the outdoorsy one and the man is not don't you????

I'll second that... you chauvinistic males should be spanked

Spank me! Spank me!

April 7, 2005

We cache together most of the time and there's always the "argument" of wanting to do the milestone caches together. With the only joint caching time on the weekends, to keep harmony I sometimes have to stop caching during the week. Oh well...the price we pay for a piece I mean peace of uhhh uhh mind.

1.5k · April 7, 2005

I actually recently having been caching with a husband and wife team and I love it because both of them bring something different to caching. She is great with puzzles, he is great at geeking out.

1.6k · April 7, 2005

CR and I have an agreement to only cache together. I am the one with extra free time during the week.

I would rather cache with him at my side than go alone, simply because I enjoy his company. This is one activity that we can enjoy together, so I find other things to do during the week. There is a very cool mtn bike trail nearby that I ride regularly.

There have been times that he waited at the trailhead while I hiked after the cache, but I find that I really miss him being there. The ideal cache for me would be a grueling hike with lots of obstacles and the cache at the end would be lit with neon. I can find them if I have to, but CR is so much better at it, that I don't even look most of the time.

I have been on short hikes with other cachers (to re-visit an already found cache or check on one of ours), and while enjoyable, it just isn't the same. If it is just the two of us, I don't have to worry about going WAY off trail to answer nature's call, and he has seen me at my grimiest plenty. I can change clothes in the car or on the trail, go skinny-dipping, and a host of other things that I would not do if anyone else was with me.

I think this may be less a control issie with the OP's SO, and more of a "I'll miss out on the fun!" issue. Since numbers aren't much of a motivation for us (anymore), I really do not mind waiting until we can go together. And if one pops up that I just MUST get today, he is a good enough sport to let me drag his @ss out there when he is finished working (as long as I feed him first !)

Sissy

April 7, 2005

I agree with Sissy. We do this together, with one account. there have been 3 times we did not go together, once I wanted to get a FTF (after that I no longer cared if I was FTF) another was to get a TB and once he went without me to a spot we had been twice before. Other than that we can wait for eachother. We decided this was OUR hobby. I have scrapbooking, he has XBox but WE have geocaching.

April 7, 2005

Is my 'Stupid' sign on crooked? My wife reads these forums!

Avrohead

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