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Just a Random Thought...


radical geezer
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I took my wife to her doctor's appointment today. Her doctor's office is in a two story office building. No basement. No penthouse. Just two stories. His office is on the second floor. We got into the elevator to go to the second floor. The elevator had two buttons in it, labeled 1 and 2, so you could select the floor you wanted to go to. And I have been wondering ever since...

 

Why?

 

Peace,

Radical Geezer

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I work in an ancient two story building with the same story. I used to think it could be programmed to just "toggle" back and forth, but then it would just go back and forth with or without passengers. You would have a single button "go" that would take you to the "other" floor, but the union of elevator installers probably demanded that there be a button for every floor even if you don't really need it....

 

A penthouse could be added to the building quite easily - it would be a welcome alternative to the Children's Hightlights magazines in the waiting room and make the time fly. icon_eek.gif

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quote:
Originally posted by Brian - Team A.I.:

In the words of George Carlin:

 

Why do we drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?

 

Brian

Team A.I.


 

A better one from Carlin:

 

Why do people say they're taking a ****, when they are actually leaving one?

 

stunod_sig.gif

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson

Eamus Catuli AC145895

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Why ask why?

 

WHY questions from George Carlin:

 

WHY is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

WHY does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

WHY can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

WHY doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

WHY don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

WHY is "abbreviated" such a long word?

WHY is a boxing ring square?

WHY is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

WHY is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

WHY is it that rain drops but snow falls?

WHY is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

WHY is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

WHY is the third hand on the watch called second hand?

WHY is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

WHY is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

WHY isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

WHY isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

WHY can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that the little black box is?

WHY do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

 

Snicon_razz.gificon_razz.gifgans

texasgeocaching_sm.gif Sacred cows make the best hamburger....Mark Twain.

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Why is it that we boil water to make tea, then add ice to make it cold, then add lemon to make it sour, then add sugar to make it sweet?

 

Mike. Desert_Warrior (aka KD9KC).

El Paso, Texas.

 

Citizens of this land may own guns. Not to threaten their neighbors, but to ensure themselves of liberty and freedom.

 

They are not assault weapons anymore... they are HOMELAND DEFENSE WEAPONS!

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quote:
Originally posted by Snoogans:

quote:
Originally posted by seneca:

If quizzes are quizzical.. then what are tests?

 

_I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me._ http://www.cslaw.ca/geol4.JPG

 


 

Ummm, testicle? icon_rolleyes.gificon_wink.gif

 

Snicon_razz.gificon_razz.gifgans

http://www.texasgeocaching.com Sacred cows make the best hamburger....Mark Twain.


 

Snoogans, I'm glad you quickly added the icon_wink.gif, as I was considering beating the c**p out of you, as someone suggested was the appropriate response. icon_wink.gif

 

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me. geol4.JPG

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quote:
Originally posted by SamLowrey:

A penthouse could be added to the building quite easily - it would be a welcome alternative to the Children's Hightlights magazines in the waiting room and make the time fly. icon_eek.gif


 

HEY! Highlights Rock! Don't forget about Goofus and Gallant!

 

Bret (shamelessly plugging his old thread)

 

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field.

When a man found it, he hid it again." Mt. 13:44

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Hmmm… As we all know if you drop a piece of buttered toast it ALWAYS lands on the buttered side. We also know that if a cat falls it ALWAYS lands on its feet. My quandary is this…if you tie a piece of toast butter side up to the back of a cat and dropped it, what side would hit the ground???? icon_confused.gif

 

My theory is that the cat/toast combo would fall to within one foot of tetra firma and stop. Then start to spin, hovering at one foot. The ultimate and one true perpetual motion machine. My theory is correct…I’ve solved perpetual motion!!!!! I’ll be rich!!! RICH I tell you!!! RICH!!!! icon_cool.gificon_biggrin.gif Just a random thought…God, I need a life. icon_wink.gif

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Dino p... Help me out on this. I've gone to my lab director and he said that we just couldn’t allocate the resources we need for this extremely important testing! Do you have an extra test cell lying around? I'll need about twenty tech's to run the tests, install the instrumentation and act as support. I truly feel in my heart that this is the next "Rosetta stone". A HUGE step forward for humanity! icon_razz.gif

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quote:
Originally posted by CYBret:

HEY! Highlights Rock! Don't forget about http://ubbx.Groundspeak.com/6/ubb.x?a=tpc&s=5726007311&f=4016058331&m=52960358

 

Bret (shamelessly plugging his old thread)

 


I haven't forgotten about it, I just don't fell I can post there since I have the last post. icon_rolleyes.gif

 

Webfoot - who thinks the icon_rolleyes.gif emoticon is better than any of those silly frog ones.

 

Webfoot

Veni...Vidi...Vicachi.

I came...I saw...I geocached.

sigavatar.gif

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Thanks for the input, folks. This is but the latest in a lifelong string of mysteries that I encounter. Here are a couple of others:

 

Why do we use the term "a pair of pants" or, for that matter, "a pair of underwear"? If I have a pair of pants and it is (they are?) missing one leg, is it a pant? If you're going to argue that it's because it has two legs, then why don't we say "a pair of shirts" - or "a pair of bras" for that matter? Is half of a pair of eyeglasses an eyeglass? No, it's a monocle! Are two monocles a duocle?

 

Another one: I understand that a teacher teaches, an actor acts, a painter paints, and a singer sings.

 

But what does a carpenter do?

 

A preacher preaches, but what does a pastor do?

 

A sailor sails, but what does a skipper do?

 

A farmer farms, but what does a butcher do?

 

A weaver weaves, but what does a tailor do?

 

A commuter commutes, a rider rides, but what does a passenger do?

 

There are many others.

 

I'm so confused...

 

Peace,

Radical Geezer

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quote:
Originally posted by Spzzmoose:

Hmmm… As we all know if you drop a piece of buttered toast it ALWAYS lands on the buttered side. We also know that if a cat falls it ALWAYS lands on its feet. My quandary is this…if you tie a piece of toast butter side up to the back of a cat and dropped it, what side would hit the ground???? icon_confused.gif

 

My theory is that the cat/toast combo would fall to within one foot of tetra firma and stop. Then start to spin, hovering at one foot. The ultimate and one true perpetual motion machine. My theory is correct…I’ve solved perpetual motion!!!!! I’ll be rich!!! RICH I tell you!!! RICH!!!! icon_cool.gificon_biggrin.gif Just a random thought…God, I need a life. icon_wink.gif


Sorry, but you cannot get rich off this idea because I previously suggested it way back here. That makes it my idea and my intellectual property. Ummm, or maybe Groundspeak's. Either way, you're outta luck. But I'm glad to see we both steal our jokes from the same website!

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Next time, instead of getting married, I think I'll just find a woman I don't like and buy her a house.

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Hmmm. I would rather wait for an elevator that only had to floors to wait on than an elevator with three floors to wait on. I also like it when a two story building has two elevators, one for each floor, then you rarely have to wait any longer than your GPS takes to get a 'warm-lock'.

 

pLAyS WitH maTCHeS

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quote:
Originally posted by XTERRER:

How do blind people know when they are done wiping their butts?


 

My In-Laws work for the State Library for the Blind, I'll ask them for ya! icon_wink.gif

 

BTW, I'm also not crazy about the new frog heads

 

"I'm 35 Years old, I am divorced, and I live in van down by the river!" - Matt Foley

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Just remembered from our last trip to Gatlinburg, TN.

There is an over 300 foot tall observation tower called the “Gatlinburg Space Needle” that has an elevator that takes you the top of for a nice view of the town and surrounding mountains. The elevator has buttons but they are all covered with large signs that say “DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTONS”. The elevator is totally automatic and makes continuous up and down trips all day long with about a minute or two stop at the top and bottom.

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quote:
Originally posted by runner_one:

Just remembered from our last trip to Gatlinburg, TN.

There is an over 300 foot tall observation tower called the “Gatlinburg Space Needle” that has an elevator that takes you the top of for a nice view of the town and surrounding mountains. The elevator has buttons but they are all covered with large signs that say “DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTONS”. The elevator is totally automatic and makes continuous up and down trips all day long with about a minute or two stop at the top and bottom.


 

Push the buttons. You know you want to.

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quote:
Originally posted by runner_one:

Just remembered from our last trip to Gatlinburg, TN.

There is an over 300 foot tall observation tower called the “Gatlinburg Space Needle” that has an elevator that takes you the top of for a nice view of the town and surrounding mountains. The elevator has buttons but they are all covered with large signs that say “DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTONS”. The elevator is totally automatic and makes continuous up and down trips all day long with about a minute or two stop at the top and bottom.


 

So what happened when you pushed the buttons?

I know you did. There is no way to resist pushing a button that says "Do Not Push".

 

EDIT...Sam, we think alike. Now get off my brainwave.

 

stunod_sig.gif

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson

Eamus Catuli AC145895

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There are really more than two floors. There is a whole underground complex where the Area 51 aliens are working on the Iraqi WMD's. The above ground part is just a cover.

 

If you push both buttons at once, then 2-2-1, and both again, it will take you down to the secret part. Of course, the Dept. of Homeland Security officers will have to shoot you as soon as the doors open. icon_frown.gif

 

===========================================================

"The time has come" the Walrus said "to speak of many things; of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and Kings".

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Sorry, but you cannot get rich off this idea because I previously suggested it way back here. That makes it my idea and my intellectual property. Ummm, or maybe Groundspeak's. Either way, you're outta luck. But I'm glad to see we both steal our jokes from the same website!

 

Obviously you did not check out the copyrights!! icon_rolleyes.gif It's my joke, dadgum IT! icon_mad.gificon_mad.gif I've been using it since 1968!!! Umm...I mean, "88", err..."98"!! Anyway...quit stealing my jokes. I'm turning your butt into the F.B.I.!

icon_wink.gif

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Lots of whimsy here but no answer for Radical Geezer's original posting. I have experience with elevators, thier operation, specification and installation. If it was a modern elevator the answer is simple: The machinery which operates the lifting mechanism as well as the door openers are controlled by a mircoprocessor which senses the speed of the elevator, it's position and the status of the doors. These components are mass produced by the elevator company and the same one is installed on every elevator made whether it stops at one floor or 20 so the controls have to be configured the same as well.

 

I also have experience with ATM units and the same issue with standardization applies. Drive up ATMs simply have a standard ATM unit installed which could have just asz easily ended up somewhere else.

 

I hope that this was helpful.

 

"Now may every living thing, young or old, weak or strong, living near or far, known or unknown, living or departed or yet unborn, may every living thing know happiness!"

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cool&tg:

quote:
Lots of whimsy here but no answer for Radical Geezer's original posting

No, not until I have posted in here is there real wimsey! Now has anyone ever seen a gruntled employee? icon_rolleyes.gif

 

These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes;

Nothing remains quite the same.

Through all of the islands and all of the highlands,

If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane

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quote:
His name was BOB and he was. He just didn't know it

I thought that was the geocacher in the lake with no arms and legs?!? icon_rolleyes.gif

 

These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes;

Nothing remains quite the same.

Through all of the islands and all of the highlands,

If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane

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