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WARNING!!!

 

Be careful when you are walking around MWGB 2009 and caching in the area. With so many cowboy chickens strutting there stuff around, you know there will be lots of eggs all over the place. You will never know when or where an egg will be lying. They could be under tables, benches, chairs, in caches or who knows where those silly hens will be laying them. But they will not be in a nest! Those are for the real birds.

 

If you find one, you must flap your arms while walking in a circle and make a clucking sound really loud! Then the coin is yours. It would be nice if you would log your find here on this forum so other may see. If you keep a coin and did not do the cowboy chicken dance your tail feathers may burn in the fires of Area 51.

 

As with real eggs, not the ones from the store, the eggs come in different colors. Of course the copper eggs are the hardest to find. Good luck in your search for an egg.

 

For those that can not attend MWGB there will be a cointest every now and then. The first cointest will start Friday. Details will follow.

 

MWGB2009a.jpg

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If you find one, you must flap your arms while walking in a circle and make a clucking sound really loud! Then the coin is yours. It would be nice if you would log your find here on this forum so other may see. If you keep a coin and did not do the cowboy chicken dance your tail feathers may burn in the fires of Area 51.

 

There be tail burning fires in Area 51? Cool. I thought it was just a super secret USAF in the Nevada desert.

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We know a couple people that do this dance really good also Bev, wonder if we are thinking of the two same people. We will be making sure we watch so that we dont step on these eggs. They are very Cute :P got that Chicken Dance song in my head now, we been trying to teach Bella it for MWGB

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It’s time for a cointest!

 

You know us eggs, we like a good yoke. So for this cointest you must provide your best chicken joke. The winner will receive one golden MWGB 2009 egg. I am not hand delivering them, so international entries are welcome.

 

Rules:

1. One entry per cacher per day

2. Yinz have until Monday (5-11) midnight MWGB time

3. The yoke that causes the coop to cluck the loudest wins.

4. If two of you all post the same wining yokes, the earliest posting will win.

5. I am the judge and my rulings are final.

 

I will start with my favorite yoke, even those I am not eligible to win.

 

Why did the Colonel run across the road?

 

(Cause the Cowboy Chicken had his gun drawn)

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Zebediah and His Egg Business

 

Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

 

Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

 

Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

 

Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all!!

 

Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

 

BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

 

Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.

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Oh! thank you for the cointest! :)

 

Here is my joke! Sorry if it is a little... ;)

 

A farmer had some chickens but they couldn't make eggs, they looked unhappy, they were not eating a lot...!

He was trying to find out what was wrong! a veterinary surgeon told him that they were unhappy because they needed some adventure in their lives! They needed a rooster, a strong and good one!

 

The farmer was surprised that chickens were feeling unhappy becasue of that but since he couldn't do anything else, he desided to buy a nice rooster!!!

 

He went to the market to a guy who was selling chickens, roosters etc!

he boughta nice rooster and took him home! when he released the rooster and the chickens saw him they started screaming with happiness!!! the rooster saw them he screamed too and fell dead!!!

The farmer was socked!! What heppent??? He didn't even try to .... and died???? ...hmmm the rooster was not healthy..... the guy sold me a bad rooster!!!

 

The next day he went back to the market and complained to the seller! The seller appologised and gave him a beautiful and strong rooster!

The farmet went back and he released the rooster! Once again, the chickens were very happy to see a rooster in their area!!! The rooster went in the chickens house and started his... job! After an hour, the rooster came out, he said a kikirikoooo and fell dead!!!!

 

the farmer was so socked!!! What was wrong??? his chickens were cursed?? were they so.... that the rooster was not ...???

 

Next day he went to the seeller again! He was so sad! the seller asked what was wrong and the farmer told him the whole story! The seller smiled and told him that he had the solution! A rooster that was a real sex machine!!!

He went to his shop and came back with a rooster that looked awful! The rooster was skiny, some feathers were missing... he was a mess!!!

 

- Jesus!!! That's the sex machine???? He looks awful!!! I do not know if he will survive the journey to my farm!!!!

 

- Trust me!!! That is the solution for your problem!!! Just one thing! Keep him away from the other animals!!!

 

the farmer took the rooster and went to his farm! He released him and went to his house!

 

when the rooster saw the chickens he screamed and started .... after some time all the chickens had a silly smile in their face! they were lying down and they couldn't even move!!! the farmer saw this and he was happy! He was finally going to have eggs and baby chickens!!!

But where was the rooster???

 

He started searching in the farm!

- Oh my God!!! What happent here??? the farmer said! His goats were lying down and had the same silly smilling face! Hig pig too, his cow.... then he remembered the seller...."keep him away form the other animals".....

 

WOW!!! That rooster is unstopable!!! byut where he was????

Suddently he saw something lying down some meters outside of the farm! It was the rooster!!! in the air, above the rooster, a a bird of prey was flying!!!

 

- Oh no!!!! My rooster is dead????

 

The farmer started coming closer to the body of the rooster when he heard a tiny voice...

 

- Do not come closer!!! Go away!!!

 

The rooster was speaking??

 

- You are alive!!!! Thank God!!! Come back do not stay there, the bird of prey is watching you! be careful!!! Said the farmer!

 

- Silly farmer... what do you think I am waiting here, playing the dead????? I hope that bird will come down!!!!

 

:)

 

.

.

.

 

Sorry if my traslation killed the joke! :D At least the rooster is alive! :D

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Two hillbillies approach each other on a country road. One is carrying a sack over his shoulder.

 

"Hey, Billy Bob," calls out to the other, "What you got in that sack?"

 

"Some chickens."

 

"If I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one of them?"

 

"Heck, Joe Bob, if you guess how many chickens I got in the sack, I'll give you both of them."

 

"Okay. Er... Five?"

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not sure if this qualifies as a joke, but the following is a copy of the mission for one of my travel bugs, "Millie, the Millitant Chicken!"

 

dda3f591-febe-4ff4-b2e1-9fcdf8b1d55.jpg

 

Current GOAL: revenge...and find my feathers

 

About this item:

I had it all...thighs of steel, firm breasts, and most of all...beautiful white feathers, white as new fallen snow and soft and delicate as , well, feathers. I was the pride of the hen house...and then it happened! It was another cold March night, and I had just finished preening myself, when I heard the voices, voices that will haunt my giblets forever. "Grab her Colonel, while Tyson and I gather up the others!" I don't know how I did it, but I managed to escape the chicken coop with my wings still attached...maybe it was fear, maybe it was some sort of divine intervention. I tried to cross the road (why you ask...that's another story,) but found myself in the hands of the big man...the man they called Popeye. I knew my life was about to end when popeye stuffed me into a cardboard bucket, along with a side of fries and a biscuit, but as long as I could cluck, I knew there was hope. I heard a car door slam, and as I began to lose consciousness, I heard the voices again, "Call Church and Zaxby, and tell them we're on our way." I don't know how many hours I was out, but I gradually started to come around. I was in a large room; white with a lot of stainless steel tables. The voices were gone, but something was wrong...I could feel it in my nuggets..that, and the cold...it was so cold! And then it happened...I tried to fly down from one of the stainless tables, but instead, fell to the ground. I rolled into the leg of the table, causing it to falls sideways, almost chopping off my head. Dazed, I stared into a distorted image of myself reflected from the table...and then it hit me...I had been plucked! I don't know how I found the strength, but I began to run, run like....well, a chicken with it's head cut off. I escaped into the night, leaving behind my plumage and my sanity. Now I need your help. I may be chicken, but I want to make life miserable for those pluckers. My goal is to travel wherever they may be, and show America, and the world, what they've done. Please get me to their headquarters, and tie or chain me to their gates so I can protest this travesty...and don't forget the pictures, lots of pictures showing corportate names and places. Move me from restaurant to restaurant (again, lots of pictures,) from cache to cache, from the south, to the north (even in the winter...everybody likes cold chicken!) I may never regain my feathers, but with your help, I can at least regain my dignity, and the dignity of others like me. Please don't let me end up, just another fowl joke

 

ILYK

 

edited for typo

Edited by drneal
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A waiter approached the man studying the menu carefully at the fancy restaurant. "May I take your order, sir?" he asked.

 

"Well, I was wondering how you prepare your chickens." The man replied.

 

"Oh, it's nothing too special, sir," the waiter confided. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

 

Thanks for the cointest

 

Regards Tarot

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"A fox enters a henhouse at 6am and calls: Rise and shine!"

 

Don´t know, if the payoff is understandingly in english, so here´s the german joke, too:

 

Kommt ein Fuchs um 6 Uhr morgens in den Hühnerstall und ruft: "Raus aus den Federn!"

Edited by Dark Elf
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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

 

The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

 

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Smoke! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

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A blonde chicken was standing at the side of a river, no bridge to be seen in either direction. Another chicken on the opposite side shouts across, "How do you get to the other side" Blonde chicken looks up and down a bit bemused, then shouts back, "I am on the other side"

 

ILYK
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Chicken Crossing -

A poultry farmer had a giant problem... chickens from his free ranging flock kept getting run over on the road that went past his farm. He called out the Highway patrol boys and even speed traps and tickets did not solve the problem... people just kept on driving fast and hitting chickens. The police even put up a sign that said "SLOW chicken crossing" but the farmer just kept losing chickens. After a little thought the farmer made his own sign and never had another fatality. The farmer's sign said, "Nudist Colony ahead keep eyes on the road".

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Oh boy1 I have some chicken jokes! :anibad: I will see what I can post and the rest will be just for fun if of course I will have the ok from MWGB_Egg! :laughing:

 

A farmer who had as bussines to have chickens and seel them for meat, sell the eggs etc, had a visit from the tax office! They were trying to find something to give him a penalty, so they were checking everything!

Since they coudn't find something wrong, they asked him: What food do you give to the chickens??

 

The farmer said: Oh! only the best! I buy the best corn, the best vitamines, the best food for them! They are eating better than I do!!!

 

When they heard that, the men from the tax office had a chance to give him a penalty!!!

So.... you are giving them the best! But the best food cost money but according to your tax papers you are poor! Where do you find the money to buy the best for yuor chickens?? You are lying to the tax office! Take a penalty of 50,000 $ !!!!

 

The farmer was socked! He knew that he couldn't do anything about it! No matter what he would say or done the penalty was a penalty!

 

The next year tax office men visited him again! They searched, they searched and finally they did the same question:

 

What food you give to your chicken??

 

Oh No!!! this time the farmer wouldn't make the same mistake!

 

Oh... I am a prro farmer! I give to my chickens left overs from my food, some old bread and if they search in the farm for food, thy might find some worms to eat! That's it!

 

WHAT??? you give to your chickens unhealthy food???? and you are selling their meat so others can eat?? This is illegal!!! This is so wrong!!! You will get a penalty from us and fron the health department!!! Both penatlies will go to 100,000$ !!!!!

 

The farmer almost had a heart attack! Where he could find all that money? How he would pay.... that year he worked very hard, he got loans he sold some fields he had and paid the penalty!

 

After a year, the tax office men visited him again! When he saw them he got angry!

 

The tax office men started searching and searching, and searching... but nothing! They finally made the same question!

 

"What food your chickens eat???"

 

- Oh...I do not know!!! I just give them money and they eat out!!!! :blink:

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Okay...this one is a little gross, but it made me laugh...

 

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph."

 

Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

 

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

 

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

 

A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

 

"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

 

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "Obviously you've never laid an egg before? Well, just relax and let it happen. It's no big deal," said the rooster.

 

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped his first egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

 

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout...

 

"Ralph! Wake up. You're pooping in the bed!"

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Okay...this one is a little gross, but it made me laugh...

 

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Ralph."

 

Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!"

 

St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

 

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

 

A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

 

"Not bad," replied Ralph the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!"

 

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "Obviously you've never laid an egg before? Well, just relax and let it happen. It's no big deal," said the rooster.

 

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped his first egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

 

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout...

 

"Ralph! Wake up. You're pooping in the bed!"

 

Yep it sure made me laugh too!! :laughing::anibad:

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I'll be at the Bash but have to add another one....

 

Three Legged Chickens -

A man was driving down the road and noticed a three legged chicken racing along beside his car. When he looked at the speedometer he realized that the chicken was running over 75 miles per hour. The amazed driver followed the chicken for several miles until the chicken turned down a gravel road. The driver followed the chicken to a huge poultry farm. All around the farm there were three legged chickens as far as the eye could see. The driver stopped his car and then seeing the farmer feeding the chickens he asked him about the three legged chickens. "Well you see," started the farmer, "I am a genetic engineer and the leg is my favorite piece of chicken. It is also the favorite piece of my wife and my son. I got tired of having everybody fighting over the leg at dinner so I just developed a chicken with enough legs for us all." "What a great idea!, "said the driver, "How do these three legged chickens taste?" "Well, "said the scientific farmer, "I don't know. I've never been able to catch one!"

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I think 24 hours have passed since my last joke post! If not I am very close! I will post one and I will go to bed! :anitongue:

 

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before. The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them. She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

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