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Attitude Adjustment


SixDogTeam
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It's easy to see how people can get caught up in their forum posting activities and get really nasty in the middle of a heated argument. I've been there myself and have wanted to throttle someone who was too much of an idiot to agree with my cherished position of the moment on some earth shattering momentous topic. It's understandable. Having said that, however, it seems to me, that SOME people post in the forums with a definite bad attitude, one of sarcasm and meaness, right off the bat, without needing the slightest provocation. What's up with that?

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It's easy to see how people can get caught up in their forum posting activities and get really nasty in the middle of a heated argument. I've been there myself and have wanted to throttle someone who was too much of an idiot to agree with my cherished position of the moment on some earth shattering momentous topic. It's understandable. Having said that, however, it seems to me, that SOME people post in the forums with a definite bad attitude, one of sarcasm and meaness, right off the bat, without needing the slightest provocation. What's up with that?

I can see this is going to be a productive thread. :blink:

 

Is that what you mean? I've often been accused of having a bad attitude, hell, I'm often accused of being a bad attitude. But you know what? I'm not; it's your perception of my style that labels me as having a bad attitude, of being sarcastic and mean. That's the way I am and that's the way I'm going to be. If you don't like it, tough nuts. ;)

 

As for the 2 posts following the OP? Look in the mirror people.

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I recently participated in a thread started by Pantalaimon that got heated pretty quickly. Pantalaimon did a great job of keeping the discussion civil, and did his best to defuse the hostility. He did a great job, but you can't get everyone to play nice. Some people confuse shedding heat with shedding light.

 

I nominated Robespierre to be a mod in a thread several weeks ago, based upon his well reasoned posts and calming influence. Thanks, Robes.

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A Visualization

 

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

There now... feeling better?

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As for the 2 posts following the OP? Look in the mirror people.

:lol: Who me?

 

I think we were. Maybe this is a good example of comments taken as being nasty, when they are ment to be at least subtlly self depricating.

 

I doubt most of us really want to hurt anyone elses feelings, we just get a bit fast and careless in our snappy comments since there is not a face accross from us looking hurt. Maybe this string is a good reminder that our comments can easily cut deeper than we intend.

 

Ah, but then, life is really just one big puzzle isn't it?

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Bunch of jerks.

:lol::o;)

 

A Visualization

 

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

There now... feeling better?

I think I was doing that during the Ohio State game yesterday.

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This is incredible! I wish I could tell you guys what happened up there! But I can't. Or maybe you know. Don't mean nuthin'.It's too twilightzoney. I'm going out to find a waterfall this morning and hide a cache there. I took a pic of it years ago on a hike, and I hope my memory is good enuff to get me back there...Thanks for your responses. Cache on, and remember to hug your kids and your dog.

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Some people have a sarcastic sence of humor. Look how successful Don Rickles was with his sarcasm. On the other hand, there are some jerks out there too.

 

I think it would be a bad deal to meet a cacher you've dealt a bit of sarcasm. That could be a little tense. :lol:

Edited by rebapac
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The population of geocachers is diverse and you will encounter people whose opinions and manners run contrary to your own. It's natural to group people into "those who are like me" and "those who are not like me". It doesn't matter if they are people who vote Republican, carry Garmins, drive Chevys or pray to Allah. After you categorize everyone else into groups you hate and groups you like, you will end up in a very small group--you and your dog.

 

Peace.

 

-E

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The population of geocachers is diverse and you will encounter people whose opinions and manners run contrary to your own. It's natural to group people into "those who are like me" and "those who are not like me". It doesn't matter if they are people who vote Republican, carry Garmins, drive Chevys or pray to Allah. After you categorize everyone else into groups you hate and groups you like, you will end up in a very small group--you and your dog.

Aww, crud. I don't even have a dog. :lol:

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The meanest man I've ever known online --this guy was a savage jerk -- had what was, by the accounts of all who met him, an enviable life. Prestigious job, plenty of money, lived in the big city with a beautiful wife. He was just a howling dipwad. A cruel, cruel man.

 

I'll hand him this -- he taught me to check my facts, and then double-check them, then check them one more time before I posted anything. Whew!

 

Some people are just...like that.

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It doesn't matter if they are people who vote Republican, carry Garmins, drive Chevys or pray to Allah. After you categorize everyone else into groups you hate and groups you like, you will end up in a very small group--you and your dog.

 

Peace.

 

-E

I vote Republican, carry a Magellan, Drive a Chevy, pray to Jehovah, but my dog growls and tries to bite me every time I try to pet his stinky butt...

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It's easy to see how people can get caught up in  their forum posting activities  and get really nasty in the middle of a heated argument. I've been there myself and have wanted to throttle someone who was too much of an idiot to agree with my cherished position of the moment on some earth shattering momentous topic. It's understandable. Having said that, however, it seems to me, that SOME people post in the forums with a definite bad attitude, one of sarcasm and meaness, right off the bat, without needing the slightest provocation. What's up with that?

Regardless of why people have bad attitudes (there are many reasons), they eventually go away or, more rarely, become civil, IF they are universally ignored (i.e. other people either ignore the thread or reply to it as if they, or at least their bad attititude, doesn't exist). They may try posting a few more zingers, but they invariably give up and move on to another forum where they get the desired reaction.

 

In the "real" world, the best way to calm someone down who's shouting at you is to lower your own voice. It's remarkable how well this works.

 

The problem in online forums is that someone almost always bites and feeds the vituperation! What's up with that? Instead of responding in kind, respond as if you are so naive that you KNOW the person didn't mean it the way it reads (i.e. ignore the trolling). Half the time you'll be right (they didn't mean it the way it reads), and you'll always have done your part to increase the civility of the forums!

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It's easy to see how people can get caught up in  their forum posting activities  and get really nasty in the middle of a heated argument. I've been there myself and have wanted to throttle someone who was too much of an idiot to agree with my cherished position of the moment on some earth shattering momentous topic. It's understandable. Having said that, however, it seems to me, that SOME people post in the forums with a definite bad attitude, one of sarcasm and meaness, right off the bat, without needing the slightest provocation. What's up with that?

Regardless of why people have bad attitudes (there are many reasons), they eventually go away or, more rarely, become civil, IF they are universally ignored (i.e. other people either ignore the thread or reply to it as if they, or at least their bad attititude, doesn't exist). They may try posting a few more zingers, but they invariably give up and move on to another forum where they get the desired reaction.

 

In the "real" world, the best way to calm someone down who's shouting at you is to lower your own voice. It's remarkable how well this works.

 

The problem in online forums is that someone almost always bites and feeds the vituperation! What's up with that? Instead of responding in kind, respond as if you are so naive that you KNOW the person didn't mean it the way it reads (i.e. ignore the trolling). Half the time you'll be right (they didn't mean it the way it reads), and you'll always have done your part to increase the civility of the forums!

for those like me that had to look

 

vi·tu·per·a·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (v-tp-rshn, -ty-, v-)

n.

1.The act or an instance of vituperating; abusive censure.

2.Sustained, harshly abusive language; invective.

 

Still not sure if it fit, but what the hey.

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It's easy to see how people can get caught up in their forum posting activities and get really nasty in the middle of a heated argument. I've been there myself and have wanted to throttle someone who was too much of an idiot to agree with my cherished position of the moment on some earth shattering momentous topic. It's understandable. Having said that, however, it seems to me, that SOME people post in the forums with a definite bad attitude, one of sarcasm and meaness, right off the bat, without needing the slightest provocation. What's up with that?

It's simple:

 

1) If everyone was the same the Earth would be boring.

2) Everyone is different and entitled to their own opinion (rational or not).

3) "Allah loves a wonderous variety." -Azeem from RH: TPoT

 

It's like asking why people murder, rape, are bi-polar, get cancer, etc....

 

Thorin

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I think that this relates to a lesson I am still in the process of learning at work. Virtually all communication is done via email, which leaves a lot to be desired. Emails (and posts to forums) can deliver a message, but it may not be the message the writer intended. Nuances that are inherent to spoken communication; such as voice inflection and facial expression, are lost when communicating electronically. And all the emoticons in the world won't help.

 

So what's the answer? Reading, re-reading and re-re-reading your post before you hit the "submit" button! And try to take into consideration what potentially inflammatory remarks you may have made. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that "You can't please all the people all of the time." But I think that it is every person's responsibility to offend the smallest number possible!

 

Bottom line: Try to leave emotional responses out of the forums, and check your ego at the door.

 

Let's have fun!

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Call me a jerk, but sometimes its fun to be a jerk. But then again, its all perception. What one person thinks is an insult is taken by someone else to be a compliment. For instance, if some called you an 'earth-dwelling, red skinned savage' you would probably take offense. I, on the other hand, would say, "why thank you very much." Or if someone called you a 'pink toto wearing circus freak' you would be offended, Briansnat on the other hand would find pleasure in that remark. Also, I've noticed that people I meet in the forums 'usually' are less vocal in person. But maybe after time, that to would change.

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I think people (myself included) need to become more adept at distinguishing between differing viewpoints and insults...one is fine, the other should not be... :D

 

I'm not a big fan of the "if you don't like gc.com just the way it is, shut up or leave" or the "don't you dare question the business practices of gc.com" lines of reasoning, but it seems to work fine for some people... :o

 

In general, I feel that if a thread gets nasty or unproductive I just leave...after all, it's only a game, and the forums seem mostly to be a way for people to keep their typing fingers in shape :D

 

nfa

Edited by NFA
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Being a newbie, I have spent a week or so browsing thru the forum posts, getting a feel for others adventures . . . what to watch out for, what is accepted, etc. I have learned a lot from others mistakes and advice, especially when it comes to using my GPS unit. I have read opinion upon opinion, taken what I could from what I agree with, and left what I might not agree with for someone else (hmmm, much like caching). But I am absolutely appalled at the amount of anger and obscenity that some of these posts escalate to.

I have read personal threats, seen more stars (edit marks) than a clear night in Yosemite, and have secretly hoped that I NEVER run into some people on the hunt. What a wonderful world I have encountered!

Personally, I think I'll spend my energy caching and leave the forums to the more finger-active (no pun intended) than leg-active.

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I think people (myself included) need to become more adept at distinguishing between differing viewpoints and insults...one is fine, the other should not be... :D

 

I'm not a big fan of the "if you don't like gc.com just the way it is, shut up or leave" or the "don't you dare question the business practices of gc.com" lines of reasoning, but it seems to work fine for some people... :o

 

In general, I feel that if a thread gets nasty or unproductive I just leave...after all, it's only a game, and the forums seem mostly to be a way for people to keep their typing fingers in shape :D

 

nfa

Good advice. The thing that gets me is that even when someone is trying to help the sport grow, these attacks come.

 

These forums seem to be active with electronic thugs that see themselves as the arbiters of what is allowed here. Very tiresome. Then again, the whole geocaching thing is getting a bit wearisome.

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I vote Republican, carry a Magellan, Drive a Chevy, pray to Jehovah, but my dog growls and tries to bite me every time I try to pet his stinky butt...

ummmmmm...maybe you should try petting his other end? :)

 

OT, with these forums, as well as a few others that I frequent, I occasionally get my back up based on some real or perceived insult. Responding in kind only escalates the situation. Ironically, I'm convinced that if we met in person, we wouldn't have anywhere near the animosity that occurs in the forums, under the cover of relative annonimity.

 

Any time I read a post that gets my blood pressure up, I try to make it a point to walk away for a half hour or so before responding. You'd be amazed at what that simple action can do to restore a bit of balance and fairness to what you write.

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I have been acused of being a jerk just for posting facts that others did not or just refuse to accept as facts, It even got be banned from there forums, I am in a hotel room on a geocaching road rip using a LAN connection, that is why I guess I a allowed to post anything the past few days. :D

 

Keep in mind, if you do not want to get kicked out of the forums, do not practice free speach, some of the mods are very thin skinned. :)

Edited by JohnnyVegas
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Sometimes we offend deeply, when we don't mean to...

Very true, it is sometimes a by-product of communication in general and (like you said) not meant to be hurtful. However, there are times when people say things they need to be held accountable for ... for example, is it better to let someone spew nonsense (or something you perceive to be nonsense) or call them on it?

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I was informed my Coadmin that I was not benned but on a 7 day moderation hold or something to that effect, Having not recieved an e-mail regarding same for some reason, more than likely my e-mail service blocking things it should not block and letting things through it should not let through, Anyway, not seeing any of my post, posted in acouple of days I thought I was banned. Sorry for the missunderstanding. I would also like to thank CaAdmin. for sending an e-mail explaining what happend.

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