Shy about events?

[+El Diablo]

I can remember when events were small and everyone knew everyone else. Now days events draw a lot of people. I haven't attended one in a couple of years now. Even though I'm one of the oldest cachers in the area, I still feel shy about attending local events.

 

There are so many new cachers, and so many events that I've missed, that I feel like an outsider. If I showed up now, no one would even know me.

 

Anyone else feel like that?

 

El Diablo

Edited March 19, 2007 by El Diablo

[+CYBret]

Me personally, I love events. I'm getting to the place where I have to start being choosy about where I go because there are so many that I could really suck up a lot of time "eventing" instead of "caching"

 

I think that a lot of us--by nature--are solitary creatures. Geocaching really lends itself to that kind of lifestyle, too. For the most part you're on your own out in the woods, walking the trails and searching for caches. Events are anything but solitary.

 

I know we've had a few people who have admitted to being intimidated about coming to events. One local cacher admitted to coming to an event, driving through the parking lot at the pavilion it was being held at, losing his nerve and going home. It was a real shame to not have him there.

 

Maybe it would be a good idea to keep an eye out for those newbies when their names start showing up on local caches. Drop them an email and see if they'd be more interested in getting together for a cup of coffee and talking about caching. That way they would have the chance to ask questions in a more comfortable setting. Sure, it wouldn't count as an event, but it might do them a lot more good.

 

Bret

[+seattlegeekgrrrlz]

 

Maybe it would be a good idea to keep an eye out for those newbies when their names start showing up on local caches. Drop them an email and see if they'd be more interested in getting together for a cup of coffee and talking about caching. That way they would have the chance to ask questions in a more comfortable setting. Sure, it wouldn't count as an event, but it might do them a lot more good.

 

Bret

 

That's a great suggestion. As a new cacher, I find the big events intimidating. Although I have forced myself to go to one and had a good time when I was there. I was lucky that the first event I chose to attend was rather small - about 30 people. That was a nice size to actually be able to get to know some people a little bit. Our next event will probably be a CITO event, so that should be good, too.

[+Renegade Knight]

I like smaller events. You get to know people better. The larger ones I generally pass on.

[+kc8bdr]

I have only been to two events since I started caching in 2004 and enjoyed both. I however never liked to socialize much in part because I am not real good at small talk.

 

I think the only event I missed that I wanted to be there was the Mid-west Geobash last year as that was only about ten miles from home, but it was the same week I was out of state on vacation.

 

Jim

kc8bdr

[nonaeroterraqueous]

We're both painfully shy. We've been to two events so far, and both times we were tempted to go home just after we arrived in the parkinglot. The first time was the hardest. Successfully socializing doesn't seem to make it easier, either. The one thing that has made the biggest difference, though, is that in both cases someone directly emailed us to ask if we were going. Had that not happened, we would not have even considered going. My working mindset is that unless something happens to change my mind I'm not attending any event, whatever it is.

[+Nero]

Yep, they sure can be intimidating!

 

But whats the best way to get over it? go to events!

 

I just wish I COULD attend more events, they happen around here, but usually on friday or saturday nights when I work.

 

To any Phoenix Event holders, I'm off Thursday, Sunday and Monday!

[X-isle]

I haven't been to an event yet. But as long as there's a live band and food, pencil me in!

[Trinity's Crew]

I've definitely been hesitant to go to an event. I have looked at many event pages and been intrigued, but I just haven't mustered the will to follow through and go. My loss. Maybe some day.

[+briansnat]

I find that whenever new people attend an event, they become a "insider" by the time its over.

[+hidnseek]

In our city I hold a monthly event as a way for people to get together and newbies to meet us. Some months the new names out number the old ones. It is held during the week to help with numbers (more locals less people driving 300-400km to join) saying that though we love it when out of towners show up, even have had some from other countries. I try to host them same day and time of the month so people can plan around them. My numbers started at 25 and we are usually 45-60 people. A few core regulars and ALWAYS about 15-20 new every month. I love it as poeple usual meet up and go caching afterwards. I usual email new names in the area and envite them to come and join us. They are low key, meet at a local resturant. Sometimes a special event (christmas exchange, 50/50 raffle to raise funds for a geoteam doing a MS bike tour) but usually just name tags and a log book. I go around and chat to everyone try to catch them when they come in the door. I do notice that some are shy and I introduce myself and invite them to have seat in the area (two long tables) give them some time to look around. When I go back to check later in the evening they are usually have a great conversation whith those around them, love seeing that. For those who worry about the socializing part, everyone is usually talking about geocaching or GPS units. Just bring your best caching story, or your favorite cache, or even ask about the puzzle giving you a hard time. The christmas exchanged I was a bit worried when I did it but all the gifts were cache related (not intended but perfect) there were bags, caches ready togo, coins, paper, water bottles. It was then that I realized how little it takes to make a geocacher happy, (5$ in swag at the local dollar store )

 

SO,.....if your ever in the area of OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA the last Tuesday of the month at 6:30, look us up! or you could always drop me an email.

[+Jhwk]

*reply deleted because Jhwk's too shy to post*

Edited March 19, 2007 by Jhwk

[+Rockhound24]

I wasn't sure about attending but a local event is going to be on paperless caching and is too good a chance for a noob to pass on.

[+Airmapper]

I was kinda shy my first event. I didn't know what to expect and then there was this whole idea of meeting crazy people over the internet.

 

As soon as I got there I had people shaking my hand. I had a great time, even though it was miserably cold and windy in an open air pavilion. (That seems to be normal weather for events I go to.)

 

Now I try to go to any event in the area, and a lot of time have to reluctantly pass on a few because I just can't get to them all, especially when there is more than one in the area on the same days.

[bogleman]

Very funny (for me). I work in a very public position where at times I have very close contact with complete strangers in many situations.

 

I tend to be a very private person and I do not like going to public places where I am not comfortable. The first event I attended took everything I could muster just to go then I got there and had to force myself just to walk in the door.

 

Now I just take a deep breath and jump in - they wont bite

[+fox-and-the-hound]

We've only been to a couple and at the first one, I was terrified. I'm not terribly comfortable in a crowded room anyway, much less the crazies in here However, as we wandered in looking pretty clueless we were suddenly greated by a bunch of great people equally nervous, but smiling. Before long, we had a bunch of new stories and an afternoon of caching ahead of us with a great bunch of people. Definitely worth the first couple minutes to meet some new friends that could end up lasting a very, very long time.

[+BlueDeuce]

My first couple events I hosted so I really never had the chance to think twice about attending. Then I was too busy to worry about meeting people.

 

Everything went fine so now it's not an issue, I'm going to know more than half the attendees.

[+Cpt.Blackbeard]

I don't like crowds, I'll never visit Disney because of the crowds. I do go to the local county fair but I avoid the Indiana State Fair, to big a crowd. So while I plan to attend a small event "someday" don't expect to see me at a large one. Mid sized? Maybe. It isnt' shyness, I just don't like large crowds.

I also dislike to much organization. I used to like bowling until it reached the point where you couldn't get a lane because a "league" was bowling. I gave up onm golf because the local course was always holding scrambles. I'd like to have one activity that doesn't get "organized" to death, but I predict Geocaching will go the same route someday.

[+sbell111]

I'm not a huge fan of events. I'm simply not comfortable playing the 'Hi, I'm Steve. Who the heck are you.' game. It isn't natural for me.

[+emurock]

Anyone else feel like that?

No, not me.

[+archi77]

Crowds or no crowds, it doesn't seem to change things for me. I tend to just stand in the background, absorbing as much as I can, eavesdropping as others ask questions, or make comments on things. Generally, if nobody comes up to me and "pulls" me into the event, I just stand back and observe. I learn a lot, but don't always participate. Now, I've never been to a Geo event...but all the other events I've been to have been this way. Unless there's somebody there to walk me through the process, show me the ropes, etc, I just watch and walk away. <shrug> Least I won't get lost walking away anymore...

[+CYBret]

I'm not a huge fan of events. I'm simply not comfortable playing the 'Hi, I'm Steve. Who the heck are you.' game. It isn't natural for me.

 

That's why we always have nametags!

 

Seriously, I'm LOUSY with names....and not all that good with faces I only see once or twice a year. If it weren't for nametags I'd be walking around doing the, "Hey....you." "How's it going....champ?" thing.

 

I'm pretty quick to remember names I've seen in logs and names of cache owners. I really hate calling other people by their "account name" though.....just feels weird.

[+wandererrob]

My girlfriendd and I have been to a couple of local events, but I've tended to feel like something of an outsider myself for a few reasons.

1. I'm just not as into it as most of the attendees tend to be. Though I thoroughly enjoy it, I tend to cache when the mood strikes.
   
2. I don't know very many people, which has never been the ideal social situation for me anyway
   
3. I've actually found that we're significantly younger than the vast majority of the folks there. Not that there's anything wrong with that really, but I just don't feel like I can relate.
   

So now I just do my own thing. Cache when I can and feel like doing so and don't sweat trying to part of things beyond that.

[+StarBrand]

The biggest event I have been to included about 50 people. I am generally fairly shy by nature and only spoke to about 5 or 6 people. But I did have a good time. Also, my wife and I do not drink some of the "refreshments" that came out later in the event so we stay away from that as much as possible. Most of the events I have been to included only 5 to 15 people and made me more comfortable.

 

I would attend slightly larger events if there were any around here but probably would never go to any kind of mega-event.

[+George1]

I guess I should feel blessed. I swallowed hard going to my first event. I had no idea what I would get into. Well it was the best thing I have ever done. I had not been Caching for long but I was welcomed with open arms. I learned a lot and have since become good friends with a number of people from all over my state. Many of us live no where near each other but we have a get together once in a while and occasionally set up a Caching day together. We always have a great time. We keep in touch with occasional emails about a particular Cache or something one of the group has done and it always puts a smile on my face.

 

I attended another function in January with a completely different bunch of Cachers and found it to be the same way. I have since Cached with a number of people from that group and had a great time with them also. Hopefully I run into them this weekend at another function and we'll all have a great time again.

 

I am glad I have found some great "Long distance friends"

[+matcat]

I am not a very 'social' person, but when it is focused on something I like, it is well worth it . I don't particularly feel comfortable in crowds of strangers, but, the more you talk to, the less strangers around you, and the more friends that are around you! And who feels nervious about being around friends?

[Guyute1210]

Didn't have a chance to think about attending since our first event was a CITO and has 38 people show up. We were too busy coordinating the cleanup to worry about being shy.

[+gravechaser]

I am quite shy also. Just thinking about attending the first event made my chest tighten with fear. But we went anyway. The first event we went to was at a restaurant in Terre Haute. I REALLY didn't want to go but I cache with my kids and they read the page over my shoulder and announced that they really wanted to go. I don't interact with many people during the week and the crowd at Church is almost too much for me. The kids kept begging to go so I caved in. I'm almost 40 so I figured I should be able to suck it up and deal with the crowd.

 

Due to the configuration of the restaurant I wasn't able to sit with my kids. There was limited room for those under 21 and I wanted to leave room for any extra "unders" that came. My kids behave VERY well in public I wasn't stressed about not sitting with them. The people sharing the table with them were great! My stress came from knowing only 2 people there. I sat surrounded by strangers and they were either quiet or shy too. Eventually we started coming out of our shells and talking about caching, where we live, our favorite caching areas, problem caches, etc. My tenseness evaporated by the time my meal came.

 

I really don't like crowds but now I'll attend geo-things anytime I can get away from the house. I met several really nice people at the first event and met even more at the second one I went to. Besides- these have been at restaurants I've never been to so it's an excuse to try new foods! My husband said my attending the two events seems to have brought me out of my shell a bit so it's all good. You just have to get out of your comfort zone.

[+CYBret]

I really don't like crowds but now I'll attend geo-things anytime I can get away from the house. I met several really nice people at the first event and met even more at the second one I went to. Besides- these have been at restaurants I've never been to so it's an excuse to try new foods! My husband said my attending the two events seems to have brought me out of my shell a bit so it's all good. You just have to get out of your comfort zone.

 

You were shy!?!?? Could have fooled me!

 

Just make sure you wear those earrings again next time! They were quite the hit!

 

By the way, We're going back to that restaurant for an event in May. Hope to see you there!

 

Bret

[+rhelt100]

Shy at events? Yep, that's me.

 

 

As another poster commented up top, I'm just no good at small talk. I've always been the type of guy that has a handful of very close friends and loads of acquaintances that I rarely see. My first event was a CITO and I ended up hooking myself to a 3 member caching family and cleaning/caching with them. So, I made many acquaintenances and a friend in the caching family I tagged along with.

 

 

At my next event, many of the same faces were there as the CITO event and I came out of my shell a little. Since then I've been on two caching runs with a local cacher I met and one long distance caching run with a group of local cachers.

 

 

Now, I guess I'm a regular so it's not that bad. The first few were kinda rough for me though.

[+BBosman]

I worked my way up. I started by going to small mini-events (<5 people), then to small events (<30 people) and by now I've just signed up for the first European mega-event (>500 people)

 

Starting small gave me the opportunity to meet some people, most of whom live near my home. If you then attend a larger event there's a good change that you'll at least know a few people and a good change you'll get to know the others as well. Eventually you'll know enough people (at least by face or nick) that you can even go to the big events without feeling lost.