A Clear and Present Danger to the Purity of Our Bodily Fluids and

[+Vinny & Sue Team]

Folks, I come to you today with a heavy heart and a feeling of deep dread in my gut, for I fear, nay, I know, that the End of Days is near, and I know that any day now I will hear the thundering hoofbeats of the Six Horsemen of the Apocalypse. For something grim and dark and dire has occurred, and it is a sure sign of the beginning of the End of Time. Here, then, is my tale of woe, along with a few notes on how I chose to proactively handle this dire thread to the purity of our precious bodily fluids, to our sanity, to the purity of our minds, and to our freedom. Here then is my tale:

 

I am here today to warn you about the terrible dangers lurking in so-called geocaching "collectibles", namely geocoins and travel bugs and related nasty little things, and their virtual counterparts, namely, virtual geocoins and virtual travel bugs. I have once again been alerted to the real and present danger posed by these horrid nasty evil things, and, having been reminded of this threat to humanity, to God and to our planet, I must sound the alarm.

 

You see, this afternoon, I received a notification via my Facebook account that a geocacher buddy of mine from southern NJ, a geocacher to whom I shall refer simply as "gipsie", had sent me something called a virtual geocoin via a Facebook geocoin API application. I was horrified, and I quickly opened the request form and refused the offer of the "virtual geocoin" by choosing "Ignore". However, I was terrified, for I knew that this was a sign of the beginning of the end, and that I would need to act decisively to save the earth and to save the purity of our bodily fluids. And so, I sat down and penned a stern email to the geocacher who had attempted to send me the vile and sinister "virtual geocoin", and I share my post to her with you, below, in order to help to spread the word about this horrid evil lurking at our doors and in our geocaching backpacks; here goes:

 

Dear Gipsie:

 

Thank you for your recent offer of a virtual geocoin via the Facebook API application. I chose to "Ignore" the coin offer, and please do not be offended by my action; it was nothing personal, and no insult was intended. Rather, it is simply due to the fact that I am mystified as to why people like these bizarre things known as "collectibles", i.e. things such as geocoins and travel bugs, for these horrible nasty little things bore me, and further, I am not only bored by such things, but I am truly scared of them. In fact, I am terrified of them, for, you see, I am deeply convinced, in my heart of hearts, way down inside, that these nasty horrible little things are carnivorous human-flesh-eating parasites/mind parasites deployed by evil sinister Satanic space aliens (the alien grays, of course, aided by their diabolical reptoid reptilian shapeshifter minions), as part of their plot to invade our world and impose the New World Order upon us hapless humans via this vile conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Sigh....! It is truly terrible!

 

And, in fact, I am trying to raise ten million dollars to fund my new non-profit organization, called Alert the World to the Danger of Geocaching Collectibles and the Sinister Satanic/Illuminati/Alien Gray-Orchestrated Threat, dedicated to educating our politicians, courts and law enforcement personnel about the horrible danger that these evil Satanic collectibles pose to human life and freedom on our dearly beloved planet earth!

 

I implore you to summon up the inner courage and strength to throw off your own addiction to these evil little things, and to work with me to help to save the world from this evil Satanic alien threat!

 

I thank you in advance for your understanding and for your cooperation, and for your upcoming enlistment in my Crusade against this Unholy Terror known as "geocaching collectibles".

 

with care,

--Vinny

 

Folks, I implore you, please get the word out before it is too late!

 

Thank you for doing the needful!

 

.

Edited December 3, 2008 by Vinny & Sue Team

[+J-Way]

My browser opened with half the window off the screen to the right, so the name of the thread owner was obscured. And yet I somehow knew this was a Vinny thread just by reading the title.

 

But I agree. A VIRTUAL geocoin?? What's next, a virtual cache??

[+Star*Hopper]

An-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nd here we go again.

 

An-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nd another clear-cut sign that the V-Monster has wa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y too much time on his hands.

 

\where's my 'ignore thread' button?

~*

[+Vater_Araignee]

What's next, a virtual cache??

Ummm

You're kidding right?

[+Harry Dolphin]

Ah, Vinny,

I've never met gipsie, but we have done a few of her caches for the NJ DeLorme Challange. We credit her with the best coordinates of all the caches we did in South Jersey. She is angelic! Not Satanic.

Oh, wait. We did DNF her Pitney Park cache. Diabolical and demonic perhaps. But not Satanic!

[+Grigorii Rasputin]

 

Dear Gipsie...:

 

 

I'll bet you're a scream with telemarketers!

 

Grigorii Rasputin,

http://grigoriirasputin.wordpress.com

[+Sioneva]

Something about reading a post with bodily fluids, ending with "Thank you for doing the needful".....

 

Um.

[Keystone]

I am not sure what I should do here.

• Move this thread to the Geocoin Discussions forum.
  
• Move this thread to the Off Topic forum.
  
• Refer Vinny to a happy, sanitary and caring place where he can get the help he needs.
  
• Ban Vinny from posting until 2009 in a blatant but popular abuse of authority.
  

Upon reflection, however, I choose to pretend that I did not see this thread. There are lots of threads. No moderator can possibly read all of them.

[jholly]

Whatsa' matter Vinny, did Venona pay you another visit?

 

Jim

[+WRASTRO]

I am not sure what I should do here.

• Move this thread to the Geocoin Discussions forum.
  
• Move this thread to the Off Topic forum.
  
• Refer Vinny to a happy, sanitary and caring place where he can get the help he needs.
  
• Ban Vinny from posting until 2009 in a blatant but popular abuse of authority.
  

Upon reflection, however, I choose to pretend that I did not see this thread. There are lots of threads. No moderator can possibly read all of them.

Well he didn't mention Masons so this thread should NOT be moved to the Organized Geocaching forum. Thank you for NOT doing the unneedful!

[+fizzymagic]

This afternoon, I received a notification via my Facebook account that a geocacher buddy of mine from southern NJ, a geocacher to whom I shall refer simply as "gipsie", had sent me something called a virtual geocoin via a Facebook geocoin API application. I was horrified, and I quickly opened the request form and refused the offer of the "virtual geocoin" by choosing "Ignore".

Vinny, you made a terrible, tragic mistake. As I am sure you know, virtual particles can have real-world effects; witness the Casimir force.

 

When you clicked on the link, the wavefunction of the virtual coin immediately became nonlocal and entangled with those of both you and your computer. Even though you wanted to Ignore it, your fate and its are now inextricably linked. You have opened a cosmological can of worms.

 

Unfortunately, short of traveling to CERN, putting yourself in the LHC beam and having a quark-gluon plasma created inside your brain, there is no known physical way to disentangle your wavefunction from that of the virtual geocoin. Your only hope is that an extremely high-energy cosmic ray hits you in the next few days, but the probability of such an event is vanishingly small.

 

I'm really quite saddened to have to deliver this bad news, my friend. The geocaching world will be a poorer place without your asymptotically free personality.

[+Okiebryan]

I am not sure what I should do here.

• Move this thread to the Geocoin Discussions forum.
  
• Move this thread to the Off Topic forum.
  
• Refer Vinny to a happy, sanitary and caring place where he can get the help he needs.
  
• Ban Vinny from posting until 2009 in a blatant but popular abuse of authority.
  

Upon reflection, however, I choose to pretend that I did not see this thread. There are lots of threads. No moderator can possibly read all of them.

 

Three. Definitely three. Or two AND three. Wait. One, two and three.

 

Aw, heck...do all 4. But definitely three.

Edited December 3, 2008 by Okiebryan

[+The Blorenges]

I am not sure what I should do here.

• Move this thread to the Geocoin Discussions forum.
  
• Move this thread to the Off Topic forum.
  
• Refer Vinny to a happy, sanitary and caring place where he can get the help he needs.
  
• Ban Vinny from posting until 2009 in a blatant but popular abuse of authority.
  

Upon reflection, however, I choose to pretend that I did not see this thread. There are lots of threads. No moderator can possibly read all of them.

 

The whole concept of 'Care in the Community' has become well established here in the UK over the past 30 years. Could I suggest using a similar ethos for dealing with this Topic?

 

Just pass the responsibility for the 'care' of Vinny and his topic over to this forum's community. We will watch over them both, providing kindly support and encouragement (or post post virtual therapy) as appropriate. If the conditions become too extreme and we (the community) feel unable to cope any longer we will hit the Report button. This will alert you to don your white coat (the one embroidered with "Global Mod - Isolation Ward Sub-Level 24, not the green one which says "Hamster Cache Reviewer Grade A") and come running, armed with a syringe full of some suitable pharmacutical cosh.

 

We all need to share experiences here and thus embrace the full diversity of forum contributors, in all their multitude of colours, creeds and tin hats.

 

MrsB

 

<wanders off to melt down / burn all her trackables, just to be on the safe side before Armageddon arrives in 2012 (if not sooner)>

[+Gipsie]

Vinny, Absolutely no offense was taken. In fact, I am in somewhat agreement with you on the subject of "trackables". I have been doing research on these mystifying creatures for some time now and have come to the conclusion that they are indeed evil. I am unsure, however, of the origin of this species. Where I do find the alien gray scenario plausible, I believe their beginnings go way deeper than that. Perhaps coming from the core of this very earth. In my opinion the whole geocaching thing is based from this evil. More than anything, that evil creature known as Signal is acually a representative of the very beginning of this plague that has been set upon us. Through years of experiments and interviews with those who have released these creatures into the wild, I have come to the only reasonable solution. I have inserted myself into the world of geocaching, hoping to learn enough to protect me from devastation. I have held some of these geocoins, even owning a few, with the hopes that I would gain enough knowledge to keep me safe from their grasp. I still stay away from the ones known as "travel bugs" fully believing that they can grasp ahold of me and I would be at their mercy (plus, having been the creator of Psycho Urban Cache #8, you must know of my aversion to bugs of any kind).Coming to light recently, in my world of endless, tiring research, is a way to reign in their terror. In the virtual world known as Facebook, one of our own kind (those that have a fear of these creatures) has discovered a way to keep their sinister ways at bay. He has created an alternate reality. An exact copy of each of these bugs or coins. For as long as they are passed along in this parallel continuum, the actual creature is rendered powerless. I am unsure of how much truth is held here, but it has worked so far for me. I am truly leery about educating our politicians and especially our law enforcement personnel about our plight, having a sneaky suspicion that some, if not all, of the above mentioned are privvy to the Great Plot of geo-travellers. I have heard whispers among my own when I was on the Job and dealing with a lot of politicos in my present career, I do not trust anyone in either career. Be wary of all, is my motto.

 

Harry, thanks for the kind words...sorta!

Edited December 3, 2008 by gipsie

[+Gipsie]

[+Crow T Robot]

We can no longer sit back and allow Virtual infiltration, Virtual indoctrination, Virtual subversion and the international Virtual conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

 

[+StarBrand]

I ummmm............

 

Well let just say that.......;..ahhhhh

 

What I mean is ____________________<<oh boy...>>

 

{{{{bodily fluids!!!!!!?????!!!!!}}}}}}

 

Virtual angst doesn't seem fitting either...................................

 

 

yikes

 

I think I'll just bow out of this one gracefully.......

[Skippermark]

What's next, a virtual cache??

Ummm

You're kidding right?

Well, they have sort of virtual caches. You can send Geocaching Gifts. Someone just sent me a new GPSr recently, and I've sent people things. Ammo boxes, swag, special tools to retrieve caches, bison tubes...it goes on and on.

Edited December 3, 2008 by Skippermark

[+Vinny & Sue Team]

Something about reading a post with bodily fluids, ending with "Thank you for doing the needful".....

 

Um.

Sioneva, you have once again shown your true, and despicable, colors as a heartless disinformation agent for the alien grays, the reptoid reptilian shapeshifters and the Illuminati (not to mention the Jesuit conspiracy) in their plot to take over the world via this evil Satanic conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. So, it only makes sense that you would suddenly pop up on this thread, trying to "pooh pooh" the entire idea of any threat to our precious bodily fluids. For, isn't it true that you are one of the Undead Zombies who work for the reptoid reptilians, and that the only "'food" (shudder) that can keep you alive is human blood which has been rendered impure via the alien collectibles conspiracy.

 

The bottom line is that we humans must protect the purity of our precious bodily fluids at all costs, and the only way to do that is through vigilance, by destroying so-called "geocaching collectibles", and by arming ourselves to the teeth, and finally, the most promising answer is for every red-blooded American to keep at least one home-crafted weapon of mass destruction (WMD) in their basement, garage or laundry room, in preparation for the day when the Soviet-made tanks of the troops of the New World Order roll down our streets, trying to invade the Heartland of America!

 

.

[+Team Black-Cat]

Vinney,

A few of these appear to be currently in your possession. These should be destroyed immediatly and then moved to an unknown location.

Thanks for doing th... never mind.

 

[+Two Mountaineers]

 

[font=Comic Sans Ms]You geocachers are killing me. I have not read any posts as awesome and funny as these today. I am still trying to be professional here at work. Which is not easy for me in the lest. So either it is the TB's that perhaps have taken control of me already causing me to laugh on controllably in the face of perspective clients because of this rhetoric posted here today. Or I must face the fact that I was never meant to be a professional.

My dear brethren of the geocache society, you have made me laugh my bass off today.

Just one correction to this thread of miss information. The end has been moved back until 2032.

 

Thanks for the laughs,[/font]

[+Star*Hopper]

Well, that tears it! I think they oughta rename Vinny & Team somethin' like:

'Dr. Strangest & the A-Bomb Straddlers'

~or~ 'How I Learned to Stop Caching and Love the Alien Zombies'

 

Groundspeak - ya listenin'???

 

 

\beginnin' to see sioneva has a point

\\& we should've trusted her all along

~*

[+WebChimp]

Folks, I come to you today with a heavy heart and a feeling of deep dread in my gut, for I fear, nay, I know, that the End of Days is near, and I know that any day now I will hear the thundering hoofbeats of the Six Horsemen of the Apocalypse. .............

 

Folks, I implore you, please get the word out before it is too late!

 

 

Dear Vinny,

 

I like being amazed. Please send me a schematic of your brain wiring diagram.

 

With Kindest Regards,

 

WC

[+Sioneva]

 

<snippage, for Vinny's mind has jumped off the high diving board... again...>

 

finally, the most promising answer is for every red-blooded American to keep at least one home-crafted weapon of mass destruction (WMD) in their basement, garage or laundry room

 

.

 

*sour look* I had one of those once, but someone used it to boobytrap an ammo can cache in the remote Pennsylvania wilderness.

 

Please send me another.

 

Thank you for doing the needless.

[+sduck]

What's next, a virtual cache??

FTF!!! SLTFTC

 

 

[+Vinny & Sue Team]

Folks, I come to you today with a heavy heart and a feeling of deep dread in my gut, for I fear, nay, I know, that the End of Days is near, and I know that any day now I will hear the thundering hoofbeats of the Six Horsemen of the Apocalypse. .............

 

Folks, I implore you, please get the word out before it is too late!

 

 

Dear Vinny,

 

I like being amazed. Please send me a schematic of your brain wiring diagram.

 

With Kindest Regards,

 

WC

Actually, I am unable to do so, for it so happens that your question touches upon a personal matter that I am told would be very embarrassing for many people if it were true for them, but it does not seem to bother me at all. You see, I am unable to send you a schematic of my brain, because it seems that I do not have one. This curious fact first came to light back in the early 1970s when I was working as an assistant in the psychology lab at my university for some professors who were studying the brainwaves of mediators using EEG machines.

 

One quiet Friday afternoon when we were not at all busy, they offered to hook me up to the EEG machine for a few minutes. Well, when they did so, they discovered that I had no brainwaves at all; I was what they called a "flatliner". Somewhat concerned, and also curious, they offered to pay for me to visit a neurologist the next week, and he confirmed that there were no brainwaves; a subsequent X-ray showed that there was no brain at all in there, and rather, just a hollow space filled with something that looked like a faint glow.

 

Eventually, years later, several brain probes showed that the skull was indeed hollow, and that the space was filled with a faint purple-pink glow (this news did not bother me at all, for purple is my favorite color.) The origin of the faint purple-pink glow was a mystery for many years, and finally, in 1992, physicists at Brookhaven National Laboratory in Long Island, NY, using a particle beam accelerator, were able to prove their hypothesis that the hollow space in my skull was filled with a primordial underdense lepton plasma at a pressure of only 2 millibars, and the purple-pink glow was, of course, emitted by the primordial lepton plasma.

 

Then, in 2003, a senior physicist at CERN, working with some top neurologists, wondered what would happen if they were to use powerful magnetic fields to momentarily quench the primordial lepton plasma in my skull; they wondered if matter would materialize inside the space, and hoped that perhaps even a brain might materialize there. So, I was flown to a lab at CERN in Switzerland, where they placed me in something called an "orthogonal opposing quadrative supermagnet array" while tiny video cameras peeked inside my hollow skull. The quenching thing was done for about three minutes, and later photos showed that when the primitive primordial lepton plasma was quenched, a bit of matter did appear instantaneously, but it was simply a vast wasteland. In fact, they gave me a few fotos of the wasteland, and here is a link to one of them that is available online:

 

 

Anyway, bottom line is that I am not embarrassed or bothered much by the fact that I do not have a brain, for I am fond of my primordial lepton plasma, for purple is my favorite color. And, I like the word "plasma", and I say it many times per day. I can often be heard reciting to myself, for many hours per day, the words "I love my primitive primordial purple lepton plasma!" I am happy. Life is wonderful, and all is perfect.

 

.

Edited December 4, 2008 by Vinny & Sue Team

[+9Key]

Folks, I come to you today with a heavy heart and a feeling of deep dread in my gut, for I fear, nay, I know, that the End of Days is near, and I know that any day now I will hear the thundering hoofbeats of the Six Horsemen of the Apocalypse. .............

 

Folks, I implore you, please get the word out before it is too late!

 

 

Dear Vinny,

 

I like being amazed. Please send me a schematic of your brain wiring diagram.

 

With Kindest Regards,

 

WC

Actually, I am unable to do so, for it so happens that your question touches upon a personal matter that I am told would be very embarrassing for many people if it were true for them, but it does not seem to bother me at all. You see, I am unable to send you a schematic of my brain, because it seems that I do not have one. This curious fact first came to light back in the early 1970s when I was working as an assistant in the psychology lab at my university for some professors who were studying the brainwaves of mediators using EEG machines.

 

One quiet Friday afternoon when we were not at all busy, they offered to hook me up to the EEG machine for a few minutes. Well, when they did so, they discovered that I had no brainwaves at all; I was what they called a "flatliner". Somewhat concerned, and also curious, they offered to pay for me to visit a neurologist the next week, and he confirmed that there were no brainwaves; a subsequent X-ray showed that there was no brain at all in there, and rather, just a hollow space filled with something that looked like a faint glow.

 

Eventually, years later, several brain probes showed that the skull was indeed hollow, and that the space was filled with a faint purple-pink glow (this news did not bother me at all, for purple is my favorite color.) The origin of the faint purple-pink glow was a mystery for many years, and finally, in 1992, physicists at Brookhaven National Laboratory in Long Island, NY, using a particle beam accelerator, were able to prove their hypothesis that the hollow space in my skull was filled with a primordial underdense lepton plasma at a pressure of only 2 millibars, and the purple-pink glow was, of course, emitted by the primordial lepton plasma.

 

Then, in 2003, a senior physicist at CERN, working with some top neurologists, wondered what would happen if they were to use powerful magnetic fields to momentarily quench the primordial lepton plasma in my skull; they wondered if matter would materialize inside the space, and hoped that perhaps even a brain might materialize there. So, I was flown to a lab at CERN in Switzerland, where they placed me in something called an "orthogonal opposing quadrative supermagnet array" while tiny video cameras peeked inside my hollow skull. The quenching thing was done for about three minutes, and later photos showed that when the primitive primordial lepton plasma was quenched, a bit of matter did appear instantaneously, but it was simply a vast wasteland. In fact, they gave me a few fotos of the wasteland, and here is a link to one of them that is available online:

 

 

Anyway, bottom line is that I am not embarrassed or bothered much by the fact that I do not have a brain, for I am fond of my primordial lepton plasma, for purple is my favorite color. And, I like the word "plasma", and I say it many times per day. I can often be heard reciting to myself, for many hours per day, the words "I love my primitive primordial purple lepton plasma!" I am happy. Life is wonderful, and all is perfect.

 

.

[+proimion]

As one who is duly alarmed bythese apocalyptic warnings, I was going to investigate the threat immediately. But I can't because it is time for Wapner, time for Wapner, time for Wapner.

[+JBnW]

 

The bottom line is that we humans must protect the purity of our precious bodily fluids at all costs, and the only way to do that...

 

 

Don't forget the rainwater and pure grain alcohol!

[+Proud Soccer Mom]

Some cachers will do anything to avoid Waymarking...

sheeesh!

[+WatchDog2020]

Why do I always feel like I need someone to hold me and make everything all better after reading one of Vinnys posts.

Edited December 4, 2008 by WatchDog2020

[+WebChimp]

I am happy. Life is wonderful, and all is perfect.

 

Well..........

 

That certainly clears that up.