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Our sincere apologies


Cyclops
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It has recently come to our attention that our 15-year-old son ("Son of Cyclops"), has been bothering some of you regarding the trade and/or sale of certain geocoins. Our son is passionate about geocaching and is passionate about geocoins, but his enthusiasm sometimes goes overboard. We sincerely apologize to any of you who may have been frustrated by his persistent e-mails and requests to trade. We make every attempt to monitor our son's behavior, and appear to be doing quite well in certain areas (he's a Honor Roll student and a really great kid), but we aren't perfect and some things slip through the cracks. We are putting some specific mechanisms in place to make sure that our son no longer continues to bother those of you who have decided not to trade with him. And for those of you who have been irritated with his past behaviors, we would have really appreciated being contacted directly, rather than have our 15-year-old son publicly attacked in the forums. Our entire family has thoroughly enjoyed being a member of the geocaching community for the past 3 1/2 years, and we have made every attempt to give back to that community through the hosting of events and through the assistance we have provided with geocaching lectures and information booths. We would certainly hope that the members of the geocaching community can understand that we are not perfect, and neither is our son, but we certainly hope that our sincere apologies can be accepted by those who have been frustrated by our son's behavior.

 

Cyclops and Wife of Cyclops

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I just want to say that it's really nice to see parents owning up to stuff like this. It happens, all the time in fact, and that I can deal with. I just can't stand when parents pretend that their kid can do no wrong. So, kudos to you for not only dealing with it, but for coming out and saying it.

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I did have a couple of emails from Son of Cyclops, but truthfully, they were respectful and to the point. I missed one email and didn't reply and he didn't 'bug' me until a month later when he just asked again about a possible trade. And when I saw the 2nd message, I remembered not replying to the first one :blink:.Thank you for being responsible parents as well.... I hope that I can do as well when my son gets to that age.

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And for those of you who have been irritated with his past behaviors, we would have really appreciated being contacted directly, rather than have our 15-year-old son publicly attacked in the forums.

While I appreciate you owning up the what has been going on, you certainly can't expect people to know where to go when they have a bad dealing with your son. Sure there are a bunch of us who know the relationship, but for the majority of folks here, they know nothing but a screen name or email address when they receive a trade offer. I was a fortunate one who knew who I was dealing with when I asked several times for him to stop bugging me for a trade I wasn't interested in. For most though they don't know they are dealing with a kid or even who that kid's parents are.

 

If you are referring to a recent post about a certain Mystery Coin, I don't think anyone was publically attacked at all. From what was posted it seems he was asked to stop his actions and ignored this request. Seemed like a last ditch effort on the part of someone doing something nice for the community with their money, and trying to stop the damage being created by a greedy kid who couldn't take no for an answer. Not being smart here, but maybe all his emails should have a sig line of how to get ahold of you if there is an issue.

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And for those of you who have been irritated with his past behaviors, we would have really appreciated being contacted directly, rather than have our 15-year-old son publicly attacked in the forums.

While I appreciate you owning up the what has been going on, you certainly can't expect people to know where to go when they have a bad dealing with your son. Sure there are a bunch of us who know the relationship, but for the majority of folks here, they know nothing but a screen name or email address when they receive a trade offer. I was a fortunate one who knew who I was dealing with when I asked several times for him to stop bugging me for a trade I wasn't interested in. For most though they don't know they are dealing with a kid or even who that kid's parents are.

 

If you are referring to a recent post about a certain Mystery Coin, I don't think anyone was publically attacked at all. From what was posted it seems he was asked to stop his actions and ignored this request. Seemed like a last ditch effort on the part of someone doing something nice for the community with their money, and trying to stop the damage being created by a greedy kid who couldn't take no for an answer. Not being smart here, but maybe all his emails should have a sig line of how to get ahold of you if there is an issue.

 

My thoughts exactely :blink: !!! In fact I do believe this is the second time you have had to come in here and put out the fire. In fact I believe the last time you gave the same response that you were going to monitor his activity?

Edited by Damenace
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Can't you people just accept a parents apology and move on ???

 

Yes.

 

But at the same time the parent should not apologize while attempting to portray the child as a victim. It is like saying I know my child is bad BUT you were bad too.

 

I dealt with SofC during the MWGB Chicks project and he was fine during that, very mature and polite. A bit impatient and would not always read all the information in the email I sent, but then again some of the adults did not read the emails! :blink: It also was sweet he was buying them for his Mom as a surprise.

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He's a young boy, for crying out loud. I suppose none of your kids are ever impatient. That's great for you....because mine and their friends are too, at times. Act like adults and accept an apology. They could have just ignored it like a lot of parents would do nowadays.

Do you even know the history behind what is even being discussed?

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In this case - I agree. Hes a kid, and, its hard to monitor every move a kid makes. Whenever hes been in chat hes been polite.

 

So, my only experiences with him have been positive - but then, I have a daughter about the same age, and certainly could not expect perfect behavior from anyone all the time, let alone a kid.

 

I've seen adults act more childlike - and its nice to see his parents keeping an eye out.

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<snip> To drag him and his parents over the coals for this is truly mean-spirited.

 

Who is doing that?

 

I made a nice comment about him and his manners.

 

Yep, my girls can be impatient and not listen and act annoying and all that. All children have their moments. I never said my children were better than any other child. I know when my children are caught red handed for being out of line I apologize for their behavior and then I move on and deal my children. I do not make excuses or act like they are victims in the situation. My children are actual children, in this situation we are talking about a high school teenage boy, who is dealing with adults in an adult world with little to no actual adult supervision. I do not let my children email people and make trades or purchases with me being directly involved.

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I've heard all about it. Again..this is a young boy. To drag him and his parents over the coals for this is truly mean-spirited.

 

Heard about it where? On this forum? In a chat room? Nobody is dragging anyone over any coals or being mean spirited in here.

 

I would also add that 15 is hardly a young boy in this day and age.

 

I once again commend the parents for taking action, and hope that now that this is the second time they've had to come in they will do even more, but hey, it's a step in the right direction. As a parent you want to believe that you've "handled" things the first time around, but sometimes it's just not the case, and so here we are. Most parents, if not all have been in that position before.

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Cyclops has been active in speaking out about the issue.

 

The role of a parent is to guide your children to be responsible human beings. I don't know of anybody off hand who stopped pushing the limits after one try. Heck, even as an adult, I push the limits on certain topics because I can.

 

There is a saying that "It takes a comminity to raise a child" Obviously the coin community is fullfilling the role.

 

Provides the point to ponder, should the minimim age be 18 to trade? HMMMMMM........

 

To go with that, what would prevent a parent from creating an account for the minor to trade under? How would the trades be "supervised". Some trades would go fine, until some day something would go wrong, then the postings and emails will be pointing fingers again.

 

I don't know the past history of the events,only what is recorded here, but I do support the parents in the decision to "protect" their son in the forums. This is not a legal court system, but minors do need to be supervised.

 

Accordiongal

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I commend the parents for speaking out. In this day and age, it is so hard to keep tabs on everything that our kids do. They are growing up, and spreading their wings. That is the natural order of things. We, as parents, do our best to prepare them for life's challenges, give them guidance and support. It is a thin line...giving our kids freedom, yet still looking out for them. I find that it increases my stress level far more than work or anything else.

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Anybody who personally knows our son, knows that he is a great kid. But he is still

a kid, and therefore, sometimes exhibits behaviors that may be considered immature or

irresponsible.

 

Our son has devoted hours of his time to giving back to the geocaching community. He has assisted his father in presenting geocaching classes, has helped man informational booths about the sport to entice new players, and has participated in CITO events. In addition, he has been an active volunteer at MiGO sponsored events (such as the Winter Social and the Fall Fun Day) for a couple of years now, often arriving early to help set up for the event and staying late to help clean up the mess. He has spent hours conceiving and placing caches around the state for other cachers to find, and has spent some of his own money buying "swag" for those caches. He has also spent numerous hours planning and organizing his annual "Early Halloween Geobash" event for other cachers to enjoy. In addition, he has donated his own geocoins and pathtags to charity related auctions to help those in need. All of this he has done of his own accord, wanting to give back to the geocaching community which he loves.

 

So while our son may be over-zealous in his geocoin quest, labeling him as greedy is completely erroneous and hurtful to both him and our family. As we had mentioned in our original post, we do monitor our son and his activities, but cannot be looking over his back 24 hours a day. We are going to increase our monitoring of his online activity. While he may be "addicted" to collecting geocoins, we would rather have him addicted to that than to nicotine, alcohol, or other drugs. Overall, we think we have a pretty great kid, and it hurts us to know that others have passed judgment on him without really knowing him.

 

A signature will be added to his emails and on his profile page on how to contact his parents.

 

Cyclops and Wife of Cyclops

Edited by Cyclops
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Anybody who personally knows our son, knows that he is a great kid. But he is still

a kid, and therefore, sometimes exhibits behaviors that may be considered immature or

irresponsible.

 

Our son has devoted hours of his time to giving back to the geocaching community. He has assisted his father in presenting geocaching classes, has helped man informational booths about the sport to entice new players, and has participated in CITO events. In addition, he has been an active volunteer at MiGO sponsored events (such as the Winter Social and the Fall Fun Day) for a couple of years now, often arriving early to help set up for the event and staying late to help clean up the mess. He has spent hours conceiving and placing caches around the state for other cachers to find, and has spent some of his own money buying "swag" for those caches. He has also spent numerous hours planning and organizing his annual "Early Halloween Geobash" event for other cachers to enjoy. In addition, he has donated his own geocoins and pathtags to charity related auctions to help those in need. All of this he has done of his own accord, wanting to give back to the geocaching community which he loves.

 

So while our son may be over-zealous in his geocoin quest, labeling him as greedy is completely erroneous and hurtful to both him and our family. As we had mentioned in our original post, we do monitor our son and his activities, but cannot be looking over his back 24 hours a day. We are going to increase our monitoring of his online activity. While he may be "addicted" to collecting geocoins, we would rather have him addicted to that than to nicotine, alcohol, or other drugs. Overall, we think we have a pretty great kid, and it hurts us to know that others have passed judgment on him without really knowing him.

 

A signature will be added to his emails on how to contact his parents.

 

Cyclops and Wife of Cyclops

 

You do have a great kid there.

 

As I said earlier, I've only had the one dealing with him and it was great. I had heard about the previous "issues" but was told that if I had any problems, that you were pretty responsive. So I had no qualms about trading with him. And won't in the future either.

 

Now there is an adult I'm working a trade with who still hasn't sent their part over a month later I wish you could talk to! :blink:

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I've never had the opportunity to trade with your son, but he just sounds like an eager kid. As a mother of two sons, I agree that he's much better off with the addiction to geocoins than with an addiction of other sorts.

 

I'm sure that with supportive parents like you, he'll continue to be a great kid, who grows into a even finer young man.

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Well, I have no doubts that he's a good young fellow.

 

However, with emerging adolescence and ultimately adulthood, he does need to learn the idea of responsibility. I have personally never had a problem with him, but I know others have. I am sure that you all do as good a job as you can to keep him in line, so to speak, so I do not fault you.

 

I will just say that since he is not a child, he does need to take responsibility for his own actions. I commend you as parents for stepping up on his behalf, but he really needs to be doing this himself.

 

I feel that any apologies would carry more weight if he did.

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...sometimes exhibits behaviors that may be considered immature or

irresponsible.

 

...

 

... and it hurts us to know that others have passed judgment on him without really knowing him.

 

 

I agree with these two things. Some have called me immature and others have judged me before. Most of which didn't have the first clue about me or what it is that I do. I've even been called unethical. I think judgement is a very powerful tool that people don't always think about before doing especially since the only way that many of us know each other is through the thoughts that we type on these forums.

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What's done is done, no going back, we should now concentrate on going forward. I'm sure many will now know who they are dealing with when it comes to trading. SoC is a great young man, he's got a good head on his shoulders (he's just a bit overly eager at times...weren't we all at his age?). I think everyone appreciates the adding of contact info with the sig line...and you're stepping in.

 

Hope to see you all at our Fall Gathering this weekend!!

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I'll pile on here, since heck, I see SoC often. I've never had a bad experience with him. I'm sure that some folks have, but he has always been nothing but polite and professional with me. We even leave face to face trades open when we don't have all our traders with us, only to mail the remainders later. I would bet we've traded a dozen times this year, and I'm sure that won't be the last.

 

I think that during trades or trade requests, you need to step back and look at the request from a different point of view. I get lots of requests for coins that I would never trade away, for anything. I also get requests to trade new "run of the mill" stuff for some of my older coins that might be considered valuable. Those don't upset me either, since not everyone was around back then, and heck, might not even know what it is. Just that it looks pretty. Remember that all this geocoin stuff is a subset of a much greater hobby (IMHO), and there will still be plenty of caches to find if all the geocoins disappeared tomorrow.

 

**edited at the request of Mr. Gas Cans :blink:

Edited by The Moop Along
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Remember that all this geocoin stuff is a subset of a much greater hobby (IMHO), and there will still be plenty of caches to find if all the geoocoins disappeared tomorrow.

 

Very, very true. As a matter of fact, I went caching this weekend and I had a great .... hang on -- all the geocoins are going to disappear tomorrow??!? :blink: Oh, nevermind, he said "geoocoins" -- totally a different beast. Whew! :blink:

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I think all parents should follow your lead and put a tag line at the bottom of their young players accounts and forum posts letting people know where the adult can be contacted.

This should be something GC reviews as it would only serve to protect the minors that are here. Maybe their accounts could be labeld as tadpoles or something.

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I think all parents should follow your lead and put a tag line at the bottom of their young players accounts and forum posts letting people know where the adult can be contacted.

This should be something GC reviews as it would only serve to protect the minors that are here. Maybe their accounts could be labeld as tadpoles or something.

 

Agreed.

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I think all parents should follow your lead and put a tag line at the bottom of their young players accounts and forum posts letting people know where the adult can be contacted.

 

At first this seemed like a good idea, but then I do worry that labeling minors in these forums would give any creep or low-life access to a minor. I shudder to think that, but these forums can be viewed and perused without any verification or identity. (This maybe just my paranoia).

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I think all parents should follow your lead and put a tag line at the bottom of their young players accounts and forum posts letting people know where the adult can be contacted.

 

At first this seemed like a good idea, but then I do worry that labeling minors in these forums would give any creep or low-life access to a minor. I shudder to think that, but these forums can be viewed and perused without any verification or identity. (This maybe just my paranoia).

I think it would do more good than a few incidents of bad that could come from it. The mods do a good job at acting fast if something happens. As it is now there are known minors here that can be found with a little looking. Thankfully there hasn't been a situation, but I am sure if one arises it would be dealt with quickly.

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I don't think the account needs to be labeled as a minor's acount, just put the contact info at the bottom. It's not going to matter about the age of the person until and unless there's a problem (and the contact info will help to resolve that). JMHO

 

I agree, it might not be a good idea to label minors...and it wouldn't really be fair to all the minors here. Should all have some sort of contact info though...just in case?

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I think all parents should follow your lead and put a tag line at the bottom of their young players accounts and forum posts letting people know where the adult can be contacted.

 

At first this seemed like a good idea, but then I do worry that labeling minors in these forums would give any creep or low-life access to a minor. I shudder to think that, but these forums can be viewed and perused without any verification or identity. (This maybe just my paranoia).

 

I certainly understand where HB's coming from, but I tend to agree more with Avroair on this one. Anonymity in here is one thing I think we all try to respect. Encourage parents to do their job and then let them make a run at it. Sadly, this site most likely gets trolled by the creepy like many others.

 

Kudos to Cyclops for handling their situation.

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I think all parents should follow your lead and put a tag line at the bottom of their young players accounts and forum posts letting people know where the adult can be contacted.

 

At first this seemed like a good idea, but then I do worry that labeling minors in these forums would give any creep or low-life access to a minor. I shudder to think that, but these forums can be viewed and perused without any verification or identity. (This maybe just my paranoia).

I think it would do more good than a few incidents of bad that could come from it. The mods do a good job at acting fast if something happens. As it is now there are known minors here that can be found with a little looking. Thankfully there hasn't been a situation, but I am sure if one arises it would be dealt with quickly.

"The few incidents of bad" that could come from pointing out minors online to potential perverts could be horrible. I can look and see the area that you live, where you cache, pictures in your galleries, etc. Someone with bad intentions can do that too.

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I think my post wasn't really clear. I never meant to label anyone as a minor. Simply putting a link at the bottom saying "contact" and have it routed to the parents info, doesn't need to be a big red flag.

 

Though, it doesn't take long to figure out who are the kids in here, and criminals are even better at it than the average person.

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