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Port Townsend Implosion


bumblingbs
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2. I have an unusually kind and forgiving husband.

 

3. Everyone is surprised, but at the present moment, I am not dying. Uh, I've been commiting suicide for years.

Can I really be real? Can I stop hurting? And, how could my lab tests come back clean?

 

4. What on earth else can there be? I hate myself. I have insomnia and anxiety and panic attacks and I can barely look myself in the mirror. Uh, what kind of mother have I been? Not worse than mediocre, but not what I intended. He's a real good kid, though, and I've done better than some. He deserves better, whatever I give him.

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All I'm saying, is that I have not been a good parent, or human being lately. Until I get that settled, geocaching takes a back seat. A very far back seat.

This quote of yours says it all.

 

You have your priorities straight and it looks like you will keep them that way. As Nolenator said it is just a silly game and the other things come first. I have not met you, nor done any of your caches, but I am looking forward to getting to some day.

 

Keep your head in the right place and it will all work out.

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I almost never log into the forums but I did earlier today and read about the bumblingbs struggle. I exchanged a private email with them but felt like making a post here as well.

 

I also homeschool, in my case 2 daughters. My instant obsession with caching a few months ago ignited an almost childlike excitement being able to bring back some of my navigating skills I learned in forestry school. I was (and continue to be) into caching but a while ago I smacked into a wall of reality that let me know I could not continue my obsession at the pace I was on.

 

The kids education was taking a back seat to my hobby and it was showing and caching was the focus of my free time to the detriment of my hardworking wife, I had to make some changes. We may not share all the same issues in our lives but I sure admire the bumblingbs for letting us all know about the struggle and I just wanted to post this because it seems like no matter what we are going through, someone somewhere can relate very closely with our struggle and I was a bit surprised to see this forum topic which so much reminds me of my own on going struggle. I for my part just want to chime in and add my support and admiration for this family.

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Well I meant secretly :(

 

As Runhills said :

" I for one

don't want the history

Just a feeling that the future

will be better

because of what it taught us

 

To truely love

one must forgive

Starting with yourself "

 

Most of us have had problems in our lives. You're not alone.

Secretly? Secretly?

I spilled my guts for you and it was secretly? Dang, is it too late to edit? Oh, forget it. I'll be all right, my son is great, and anybody who wants to read through my pain and come out the other side can. If anybody has that pain, follow me. I'm moving in the right direction, and we will all be OK. Are you hurting? One step behind me? E-mail, All will be well.

I'm living proof of it.

Though I've been stripped bare (fortunately for all, this is not a physical thing) I have gotten nothing but love and support. So, you're right, people. geocachers are a fine group.

I forget what the original question was, but I can sleep tonight. (Well, Ok, maybe, i'm a frigging insomniac maniac, but it sounded nice, and felt nice, and seemed maybe true........

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Hey, it's morning. Can I re-write my secret list?

 

1. I have the sweetest 6 year old in the world, and first thing this morning kissed the back of his neck while he slept. He's priority #1.

 

2. My kitten who scratches is very cuddly in the morning. I'm allergic to cats, but she's worth a few sneezes.

 

3. Geocachers are great. I love you guys. People have been very nice about my implosion.

 

4. I'm still going to go caching sometimes, but not often.

 

5. I still don't know what to do about my caches. I'm not keeping up with maintenance. The sweet 16 series has had only 15 caches for months. There may be a micro missing at Fort Flagler. It's a 40 minute drive to Fort Flagler.

People are saying don't archive, but I don't really want to deal with it. All this talk, and I still don't know what to do.

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Here we are

Must be somewhere

But you don't seem to know the faces

You'll survive

This hurt inside

It's only lover's changing places

Nobody ever knows the way you feel

Nobody ever knows but you

 

In the light

In the shadow

In between the feeling grows

On the edge of tomorrow

But tomorrow never knows

No matter where you are or what you do

Nothing will ever change but you

 

Take a rose

Call it sorrow

But It's a rose by any other name

So it goes

And we will follow

Like petals scattered in the falling rain

Nobody ever knows the way you feel

Nobody ever knows but you

 

Bardens

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6.

.

.

.

:o tunnel cache

.

.

.

:D  scary ladder cache

.

.

.

:lol: Above The Clouds

.

.

.

499.

:D

Yes, I'll go. Buts what's the 6, and 499?

Jeez, I was a train wreck yesterday, wasn't I?

Most of my caches are in pretty good shape. The fort Flagler micro MIGHT not be missing, it's a hard find

guess I can let things sit for awhile.

Belleterre, if you want Mt Zion, it's yours, and Bugel if you want Indian island walk, feel free.

dang, now my mouse is dying. i can't even go back and turn those into capital letters.

i can only go forward. True in life, as well.

Working on it......

KB

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Often a good idea to write down your priorities in tough times and keep them handy. Here. I'll get you started. You fill it out inbetween for yourself.

 

1.) I have the sweetest 6 year old.

 

~

 

499.) Geocaching.

The numbers are from Eraseek's post last night. You already provided #1-5, so I just started where you left off..... :o Of course, strictly speaking, I guess I should have started at #500 - but who's counting anyway? :D

 

To CG - yep, that looks like the ladder I remember.

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We're hijacking KB's thread here...  but did you mean THIS ladder?

 

scary.jpg

 

That SO rocked.

 

 

-=-

m

Yep.

 

i haven't been on a bike for 20 years, so off to the tunnel caches.

 

i afraid of heights, and I have a tendency to do klutzy things, so off to the scary ladder cache.

 

and clawing my way up Mt saint Helens sounds just about impossible.

 

But if Belleterre is going, I am too.

 

Come on arrow, make your way down to send. i seem to be losing computer priveledges. Bad mouse.

Edited by bumblingbs
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Often a good idea to write down your priorities in tough times and keep them handy. Here. I'll get you started. You fill it out inbetween for yourself.

 

1.) I have the sweetest 6 year old.

 

~

 

499.) Geocaching.

The numbers are from Eraseek's post last night. You already provided #1-5, so I just started where you left off..... :o Of course, strictly speaking, I guess I should have started at #500 - but who's counting anyway? :D

 

To CG - yep, that looks like the ladder I remember.

Oh! I get it. I think i'll be ready for scary ladder cache before tunnel cache.

 

When CG said it rocked, ummm...do you think she meant literally? :D

 

KB

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Is that the Lighthouse point cache? If so they fixed the ladder since I was there. There were pieces missing. :o

That was the situation when Jeremy and I did that cache, too! Yikes!

 

78197_200.jpg

78197_300.jpg

 

bumblingbs, I've never met you or done any of your caches, but after reading this thread I want to! We need more peopel like you in this hobby!

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It lives up to the nickname 'scary ladder', but I did it. You can too. No more whining!!!! ;)

Belleterre, you've already done the scary ladder cache? Why are you going again? Just to catch me if I step off into space? (Uh, this woman has seen me in action and KNOWS).

KB

Edited by bumblingbs
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Yes, I found that one way back in the dark ages, July '02.  ;) And I'm taking you there for two reasons- -

1) Make sure you do it and don't chicken out ;)

2) Catch you if you try to go 'splat'.  Isn't that what friends are for? :P

That ladder doesn't look sturdy and the piece of driftwood inserted for a rung even less so, but it supported over 300 pounds of Bull Moose as recently as April, so don't be too fearful.

Heck, I even saw some guy fly down it with a half empty 12 pack of Rainier in one hand and his fishing gear in the other. :P

Edited by Bull Moose
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Yes, I found that one way back in the dark ages, July '02.  :P And I'm taking you there for two reasons- -

1) Make sure you do it and don't chicken out ;)

2) Catch you if you try to go 'splat'.  Isn't that what friends are for? :P

I'm a big girl to catch. Maybe not 300 pounds of Bull Moose, but look out below! ;)

Well, I don't think you've done Ebey Bluffs, so that'll make it worth the ferry ride for you.

KB

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I'm a big girl to catch. Maybe not 300 pounds of Bull Moose, but look out below!  ;)

Well, I don't think you've done Ebey Bluffs, so that'll make it worth the ferry ride for you.

KB

A day of tromping over hill and dale is always worth a ferry ride, even if I get no finds for the day. :P Of course, there is always Rhody Ride. I had a very ugly DNF on that way back in Jan '02 (I was too shy to log a DNF back then, but now I can brazenly log the only one in the middle of 40 or so finds). :P I was a mere 2 month newbie and didn't know important things like - always bring a magnetic compass into the woods, always have spare batteries no matter how close to the car you are. Redeaming myself on that one would be worth the ferry by itself! ;)

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A day of tromping over hill and dale is always worth a ferry ride, even if I get no finds for the day. ;) Of course, there is always Rhody Ride.

I almost DNF that one, but that ended up being Chewie's one legitimate find. He stuck his snout in where it was and I heard the thumping of dog snout against man made material.

 

Otherwise he makes me do all the actual looking. Lazy dog.

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As for that ladder - I've been going to that area the first weekend in May for the last umpteen years. We almost always take that hike but I have never done the ladder thing even back when I was in my twenties. I'm to chicken so I applaud all of you. I fear I will never get that cache.

 

Mrs B. I hope these words help you at this moment of your life:

 

Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead, rather than to look back.

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As for that ladder - I've been going to that area the first weekend in May for the last umpteen years.  We almost always take that hike but I have never done the ladder thing even back when I was in my twenties.  I'm to chicken so I applaud all of you.  I fear I will never get that cache. 

 

Mrs B.  I hope these words help you at this moment of your life:

 

Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead, rather than to look back.

Hey! come on up and join us, when we go! I'll lead the way!

(That way, there will be two people to catch me, ha-ha!) No seriously, Belleterre will get you up it.

I had a moment on the "A Bridge Too Far cache" going up a very short but for me scary slope. I was hanging desperately on to something, and whimpered, "Belleterre, I'm in trouble".

"Oh, no your'e not, come ON!" she said, in a firm and steady voice.

OK, what else could I do but follow orders. :rolleyes:

She'll get you where you're going.

 

PS~ Thanks for your forgiving words

 

PPS~ KMcC, I think it's called Lighthouse Point. Yes, Whidbey island

Edited by bumblingbs
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Hey! come on up and join us, when we go! I'll lead the way!

Thank you for your kind invite. But no thank you, first you have to go down a cliff then up the ladder. Then you have to come back down the ladder and then up the cliff again. I don't know which is scarier. I know I can slide down the cliff, but between the ups and downs of the ladder and coming back up the cliff pretty well scares me to death. I always sit on the rocks nearby and wait on family and friends to do their little exploration when we do that hike. It is a cool area to hike in.

 

While your on the Island visit "Ebey Bluffs" hidden by Eraseek. It is on my to do list for when I go back next May.

 

Edit: spelling

Edited by Patudles
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I don't know which is scarier.  I know I can slide down the cliff, but between the ups and downs of the ladder and coming back up the cliff pretty well scares me to death.

Up the cliff is easy. I found going down the cliff the worst part.

yep going down is the hardest. Adena and I hit a dicey stretch doing the dream lake about a year ago. I got up high on a rock face only to figure out I didn't want to go any further. Going down was dicey but we figured out an alternate approach.

 

I haven't done McClellan yet...mainly because of that imposing rock you have to climb. UWDawg and CAche Ahead though say it's bark is worse than the bite. We'll see.

 

For those considering bagging Mt. Si's haystack...don't bother. Views are the same and safer from the area immediatlely below. Rock is crumbly and I found it kinda scary going down. Of course I had my backpack on initially until I caem to my senses and took it off. Made it easier, but not much so.

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Wow, for some reason I thought that the Port Townsend Implosion was an event! :rolleyes: That would've been a great name for one.

 

Hope you're feeling better about life, bumblingbs. You've always seemed so nice to everyone here in the forums. I hate to see nice people go through a rough patch.

 

A fellow insomniac, eh? I'd offer to go caching with you at 2 a.m. sometime, but I have really bad night vision. B) Not a good combo, really.

 

Be good to yourself. B)

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BB-

I'm coming a little late into this topic, but some folks down this way know I have a special interest in the well being of you folks up in PT, and clued me in...

 

For what it's worth, I just want to thank you for all the time and energy you've put into those caches. Your warmth has touched a lot of folks, (all the way down to San Jose!). Visiting with you and Shunra last summer was the highlight of my vacation!

 

But caching is just a game, and I hope you can find time for yourself. I only met you once and I could see that you are a special person. Take care and know that you have made friends all over the place!!

 

Steve (workerofwood)

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I don't know which is scarier.  I know I can slide down the cliff, but between the ups and downs of the ladder and coming back up the cliff pretty well scares me to death.

Up the cliff is easy. I found going down the cliff the worst part.

yep going down is the hardest. Adena and I hit a dicey stretch doing the dream lake about a year ago. I got up high on a rock face only to figure out I didn't want to go any further. Going down was dicey but we figured out an alternate approach.

 

I haven't done McClellan yet...mainly because of that imposing rock you have to climb. UWDawg and CAche Ahead though say it's bark is worse than the bite. We'll see.

 

For those considering bagging Mt. Si's haystack...don't bother. Views are the same and safer from the area immediatlely below. Rock is crumbly and I found it kinda scary going down. Of course I had my backpack on initially until I caem to my senses and took it off. Made it easier, but not much so.

I've done haystack many times. Here is the trick. If you are not use to verticle stuff it is spooky. If you do it often it is a peice of cake. I use to do haystack a lot. Right now it would be spooky for me. Not like riding a bike. You have to be used to it. If you do verticle often your visual perspective improves. Otherwise you feel unsure and unsafe because you can not gain visual perspective.

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Perspective from a person that spent 13+ years teaching mountain climbing. It is really a mental issue rather than physical. As an example:

 

Anybody can walk down the 4" centerline painted on a street without problem (sober of course).

Lay a 2" x 4" board on the street we can still do it without much trouble.

Put that 2" x 4" board on sawhorses then we start to get nervous.

 

Baring a sudden guest of wind, the chances of falling off are no different but our minds kick in and start thinking about the consequences rather than the physical issue? In our minds we choose to block out real risks such as automobile accidents and focus on possible accidents like falling off a ladder.

 

So where does this go? If you want to do something, compare it to something that is acceptable to do rather than focus on the remote what ifs. To my knowledge, nobody has been injured by falling off the ladder in discussion or slipping on the summit block of McClellan Butte. Why expend more mental energy worring about them than the car ride to get to them?

 

By the way there is a class 2 (no hands required) up most of the way the haystack. I must admit the last ten feet is very exposed class 3 (hands desired for balance)

 

Now back to my amber fluids.

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When I was a kid I went across a swinging bridge with my dad. (Now mind you I have always been chicken when it comes to heights and narrow things.) At the far end of the swinging bridge it was really hight like 5+ stories high, with absolutly nothing to hang on to. Now mind you it was plenty wide for most people probably at least 2 planks wide. But I looked down and got scared and started to wobble. I thought I was going to fall but my dad talked me through the last couple of feet till I could grab his hand. Once at the end we were on an Island and the only way back was across the same way we came. It was the scariest thing in my life to go back across. But trusting my dad got me back along with I had no other choice.

 

Now if you had put those same planks on the ground I would have no trouble at all keeping my balance. It was totally the fear that made me almost lose it.

 

So the moral is: I choose to stay firmly planted on solid ground. Bawwwwk, Bawwwk, Bawwwwwwwwwwwk. :rolleyes:

 

Edit: ooops

Edited by Patudles
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