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Offending A Fellow Cacher

scaw

By scaw
in United Kingdom and Ireland

Followers 5

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The Hokesters

+The Hokesters

Posted
Posted (edited)

Nobody can be expected to tread that fine line without making inadvertant mistakes now and again.Some people are more sensitive that others..If they cant accept any apoligy offered to them by yourself then at least youve tried to make things right.

 

Nice reply TDW :)

 

I have offended other cachers in both cache logs and in the forum and in the chat room - always unintentionally and usually due to the written word having less flexibility than face to face convos.

 

Best policy is to apologise for any offence caused whether you are correct in an opinion that caused offence or not.

 

Life's too short ^_^

Edited by The Hokesters
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scaw

+scaw

Posted
  • Author
Posted

The worst part of it is they are a relatively new cacher but they have had a go at me now and apparently "i have no life" I really didnt mean to offend them and now feel as though i have put geocaching into a bad light.

I am far to sensetive wish i could just let things go over my head

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Simply Paul

+Simply Paul

Posted
Posted

Interesting question Scaw.

 

To quote from an email I got the other week:

 

...I dont think we have anything verbal to say to each other do you ? I dont like you,never have,never will.

To make it crystal clear......i dont like your attitude,I dont like your self promotion and self adoration,i dont like your clever remarks,i dont like the way you expect people to carry you.The vast majority of the people i meet all slag you off when in my company...indeed im tired of them bitching about you.Maybe i should be more polite as they are but its not me im afraid,i say it how it is.If indeed we have to cross swords then so be it..but at least now we are clear as to how we stand.

 

This was from someone I've never met, but who has clearly made their mind up about me. Reflecting on it and your post, I'd say you can't please all the people all the time and there are folks you'll 'offend' by your very existence. Don't assume it's your fault or that you can 'fix' a situation. However, if you see you've done something wrong, you should apologise for it and try not to do it again. Everyone's fallible and so long as you don't make a habit of offending for the sake of offending, your sins should be forgiven. I hope. ^_^

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Deego

Deego

Posted
Posted

Have I offended any other cachers ??? hell yes! In fact there is a waiting list to get ON the offended list. So take a number and I will be with you soon ^_^:)

 

But in reality it’s bound to happen at some point. We all have a lot in common but we are ALL different so much so that I actually like Simply Paul (but don’t hold it against me), it takes allsorts to make the world turn

 

Just do what you can and move on .

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scaw

+scaw

Posted
  • Author
Posted

well i have sent an apoligy this morning and said i will not be contacting them again. Its up to them to either accept it or not. They have put something on there profile

By the way, if your someone who does not have a life outside of Geocaching, please don't use the internal mail system to whinge about things to me. I have a life and don't have the time or inclination.

This wasnt there until this happened last night so i think its aimed at me.

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Jango & Boba Fett

+Jango & Boba Fett

Posted
Posted

Yes we've done it too and in all bar one case its ended amicably. One of us is 11 and always wants to know what has happened, was the cache missing, were we looking in the correct place, where are they taking that travel bug?

 

The most sensitive tend to be "Hermit Cachers" that put things out there but just "want to be alone." Caught between the constant questions of an 11 year old and an unresponsive cacher the easiest course is to periodically send emails. Most people respond but if there is no reply after a few weeks and I'm getting tired of having my ear pulled I'll send a bunch of repeat emails just to see if there is anyone there. That is when the problem starts.

 

Maybe I'm getting this emailing bit wrong but I always assumed it was rude NOT to respond to querries from other cachers. Obviously all that parental nagging to write thank you letters has been superceded in todays busy world.

 

Anyway as I say in all bar one case things sort themselves out but as previous notes have said there are some ultra sensitive individuals out there, but they are few and far between. For most of us simple misunderstandings are simply overcome.

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wizard1974uk

+wizard1974uk

Posted
Posted

I'd like to state that I don't follow the pack mentality that just because the majority of people do not like a particular cacher that means that everyone should hate that cacher.

 

In the past I have made snap judgements on people have been found to be wrong on many occassions, so I tend to reserve judgement on people until I have met that person face to face. If they put on a front to make them look amiable then sobeit, I don't have a degree in psychology, so I don't try and read further into a person than I should do. If they feel the need to put up a front to feel comfortable and they are happy to do that then who I am I say that is wrong?

 

I like to think that I get on with the majority of people I meet and they get on with me, which I know for a fact this isn't the case, but I don't get into a sweat because someone doesn't like me, thats par for the course.

 

I'll probably continue to make snap judgements on a subconcious level without even realising it. So If I tend to like people that the majority of people hate then thats just tough luck, you have to learn to tolerate each other if that is the case.

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Simply Paul

+Simply Paul

Posted
Posted
Sp..you forgot to add my name to your quote..please feel free to do so if youre intent on pasting quotes
I didn't think it was appropriate to put your name to the email I used as an example Jon, but since you're happy to, that's fine. To keep things fair and balanced, here was my reply:

 

All I wanted to do was say hello and shake your hand Jon. I guess it's easy to get a skewed version of someone if you've never met them - especially if you believe all you hear from third parties who may have their own agenda. At least I keep an open mind about you, even though you strike me as rude, ignorant, hypocritical and utterly charmless. Of course, that's just based on my observations of your logs and forum postings - I try to ignore what other people say about you; Their opinions are their opinions, not mine.

 

I still hope to bump into you some time. I might even buy you a drink.

 

Paul

I'm sorry to hear things have developed on from an exchange of opinions via email to comments on profiles scaw. I guess you posting your thoughts here helps to level the playing field a bit.

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McDeHack

+McDeHack

Posted
Posted

Interesting question Scaw.

 

To quote from an email I got the other week:

 

...I dont think we have anything verbal to say to each other do you ? I dont like you,never have,never will.

To make it crystal clear......i dont like your attitude,I dont like your self promotion and self adoration,i dont like your clever remarks,i dont like the way you expect people to carry you.The vast majority of the people i meet all slag you off when in my company...indeed im tired of them bitching about you.Maybe i should be more polite as they are but its not me im afraid,i say it how it is.If indeed we have to cross swords then so be it..but at least now we are clear as to how we stand.

 

Reading this I thought it might have been your wife or partner.. ^_^

 

I have never met SP. But I like his posts and the GOOD publicity that he has done for the hobby.

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Simply Paul

+Simply Paul

Posted
Posted

I know I'm universally* loved and adored. No need for folks to confirm it :)

Keeping on-topic, what practical advice does anyone have for someone in scaw's situation? Is it best to disarm a situation by submissively agreeing with the person who has an issue, or is it better to stand your ground even if you don't enjoy conflict? While any discussion can spiral towards argument surprisingly easily, I'd say it was important to stay focused on the fact that here, the discussion is about looking for hidden tupperware. Which ought to keep things in perspective ^_^

 

*Or as close as makes no odds ^_^

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Nellies Knackers

+Nellies Knackers

Posted
Posted

Interesting question Scaw.

 

To quote from an email I got the other week:

 

...I dont think we have anything verbal to say to each other do you ? I dont like you,never have,never will.

To make it crystal clear......i dont like your attitude,I dont like your self promotion and self adoration,i dont like your clever remarks,i dont like the way you expect people to carry you.The vast majority of the people i meet all slag you off when in my company...indeed im tired of them bitching about you.Maybe i should be more polite as they are but its not me im afraid,i say it how it is.If indeed we have to cross swords then so be it..but at least now we are clear as to how we stand.

 

Blimey, I'd feel priveledged that someone took the time to type so much about me, must like you realy!

At the end of the day no-one has to like someone just because they are a cacher but how can you dislike someone you've never met? A typed word never has quite the same meaning as a spoken word.

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civilised

+civilised

Posted
Posted

SP - why not come and visit us in the chat room? I have met several people from there and not one have I not got along with :) Maybe you and Jon can bury the hatchet.

 

Bit worried about where it might be buried ^_^

 

Anyway - and semi-on topic - my pet hate is when I ask a direct question in a log and never receive any reply - I wouldn't say I get offended by it, but it does seem curious.

 

civilised

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McDeHack

+McDeHack

Posted
Posted

Anyway - and semi-on topic - my pet hate is when I ask a direct question in a log and never receive any reply - I wouldn't say I get offended by it, but it does seem curious. civilised

 

Many times, when I have been asked for a reply from a finder of some of my caches to confirm the correct answer. I reply, and then the mail is returned as the e-mail address it seems is no longer valid.

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nobby.nobbs

nobby.nobbs

Posted
Posted

Interesting question Scaw.

 

To quote from an email I got the other week:

 

...I dont think we have anything verbal to say to each other do you ? I dont like you,never have,never will.

To make it crystal clear......i dont like your attitude,I dont like your self promotion and self adoration,i dont like your clever remarks,i dont like the way you expect people to carry you.The vast majority of the people i meet all slag you off when in my company...indeed im tired of them bitching about you.Maybe i should be more polite as they are but its not me im afraid,i say it how it is.If indeed we have to cross swords then so be it..but at least now we are clear as to how we stand.

 

Reading this I thought it might have been your wife or partner.. :mad:

 

I have never met SP. But I like his posts and the GOOD publicity that he has done for the hobby.

 

and here i was thinking it was his mum writing that!!

 

good to see that one resolved at least.

 

heck don't let things get to you. life is way too short and unpredictable. i hope i've not upset too many people and would hope they would let me know so i could apologise but otherwise i'm not going to loose any sleep, well any more than i do now!!

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Moote

+Moote

Posted
Posted

I think I have upset many on here; but most if not all cachers who finally meet with me, are actually amazed at what a thoughtful and helpful person I am in the flesh. I think the problem is that the Internet age breeds quick and abrupt comments, that are usually read the wrong way.

 

Moote

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Mr'D

+Mr'D

Posted
Posted
I think I have upset many on here; but most if not all cachers who finally meet with me, are actually amazed at what a thoughtful and helpful person I am in the flesh.

True, in person you are a most affable chap.

You have an opinion on most things I'm sure, like all of us.

Doesn't mean what you say in forums is correct though.

But then, you like winding people up don't you?

 

:laughing:

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