Plane Phart- Have You Made One?

[+fly46]

Can someone crochet me some bullets?

What caliber do you need?

[+GrizzlyJohn]

And I did notice that at least one of the knives had the logo for Delta airlines. How funny is that?

[+sTeamTraen]

Some months ago I flew from Strasbourg (France) to Vienna (Austria) for an overnight trip.

 

When passing through security at Strasbourg they found a tiny (1-inch blade) pair of nail scissors which I'd long forgotten at the bottom of my washbag. I couldn't care less about them, but like many posters here, I get pissed off by this sort of thing. So I stayed extremely polite (I reckon only people who annoy them get the cavity search, and I'm not about to do research on that) and asked what my options were.

 

Well, apparently they could check my offending items in as hold baggage, there and then ! So this particular weapon of mass destruction goes into a Jiffy-style envelope and off to the hold.

 

On arrival at Vienna, I can see the baggage handler guy unloading the (small) plane, and staring at this 8x10 envelope thinking "what the...". To collect it, I go to "lost luggage" (oh, the irony) as instructed, and while I'm waiting in line, the guy turns up with it. I say "thanks, that's mine" and take it (note: no ID required; there could have been $50,000 worth of diamonds in there).

 

Next day, checking in for the return flight, I hand over the envelope to the person at the check-in desk (of course, I have no other checked baggage, and even if I had been thinking of checking in my overnight bag, I'm not now !). She says "what's this" and I explain. Well, she can't check it in, because it's way too small and will fall down a hole in the conveyors. So she says, "check it in at security".

 

Waiting in line at security, I get to wondering about the wheelchair-bound person in front of me. That wheelchair must have ten pounds of assorted metal pieces and tubes, any of which could be connected by two razor-sharp edges. And I bet I could get another 5 pounds of Semtex into the tubes. (Come to think of it, as Bruce Schneier points out in his excellent book "Beyond Fear", you could also set off a bomb right there at security; it would probably kill as many airline passengers as if you blew up a plane, plus probably more law enforcement officials).

 

Anyway, I get to the security gate, hand over the envelope, and the guy says "what's this". I tell him, nail scissors, and he laughs. "Don't be silly", he says, "how could they be a threat to the plane ? Take them on with you".

[McKenzie Clan]

a month after 9/11 i flew from athens to naples as part of a backpacking trip. The security searched my backpack (all 75 pounds of it) all to find a plastic knife and fork (the kind you can get from mcdonalds) that i kept in my mess kit. they informed me that those were dangerous and that they needed to be confiscated (no big deal) but what really struck me was that with my in-flight meal i was given a metal fork and knife (with a sharp point) to eat my meal. ummmmm?

I havn't flown in a looong time. So how do you eat your food on the plane these days? With your fingers?

 

Scott

[natesdenn]

I haven't flown since a month before 9/11. I have decided since then to make the time and take the train. I took the train to New Mexico from Ohio 2 summers ago and it was a real pleasure! Its much more comfortable, less of a hassle far as security goes, and you get to see America!! (You can also bring you own cocktails if you are sneaky! )

[+wimseyguy]

Slightly OT, but I love when they're doing pat down searchs on little old ladies and some dad wearing bermuda shorts and sandals, while young, middle eastern looking males walk right by.  All in the name of political correctness. Don't dare profile. Makes me feel real safe!

What I never understood was the random secondary gateside screening. Um we maybe didn't do a good job at the checkpoint so we'll try again with a few of you down here.

On profiling: For the first two years after 9/11 my wife would just roll up her sleeve, show her scar, and tell the screeners I need to go in that line. She was in a bad car wreck and had a titanium rod and 6 screws holding her bone together. Seems that she would still be one of the ones selected for secondary screening too.

In Denver she got sent behind the screen where there were three college age hip hop looking black kids from the Shaw U. jazz band. Their instruments were removed from the oddly shaped cases for additional scrutiny. One of them saw Shadowgal and said"lady am I glad to see you. I thought we were being singled out because we're black and young. Now I see da Man hassles middle aged white chicks too."

[+Sparrowhawk]

I don't know if this would work now, but worked at the time and was kinda fun.

 

Flying from England back to the USA. I arrive and spy the baggage inspector at customs. Hmmmm... I REALLY want to NOT get inspected! I'm in a hurry.

 

So I made like an actor playing a happy, hyperactive, over-enthusiastic character. When my turn came, I went into that mode: "Ooooo, inspect me! Inspect! Inspect! YEAH!! Ya gonna inspect me? COOL!! HERE ya go! Yeah!! Yeah! Inspect meeeeeeeeeee!"

 

Poor guy didn't know what hit him. He took one step back, then did a cursory look (he was really digging into folk's stuff in front of me) and waved me on.

 

I acted all dissapointed, and said "waaaah, I don't get an inspection??!" Him: "You are not wearing enough black leather!" Me: but my BAG is black!" Him: (laughing) "Awww. just get outta here!"

 

I use a similar technique with cops when I get pulled over, talking about just how MUCH responsibity I will take, yes yes yes! I have not gotten a ticket YET!

 

It's really fun to mess with stolid authority types' minds this way.

Edited March 29, 2004 by Sparrowhawk

[+Ttepee]

a month after 9/11 i flew from athens to naples as part of a backpacking trip.  The security searched my backpack (all 75 pounds of it) all to find a plastic knife and fork (the kind you can get from mcdonalds) that i kept in my mess kit.  they informed me that those were dangerous and that they needed to be confiscated (no big deal) but what really struck me was that with my in-flight meal i was given a metal fork and knife (with a sharp point)  to eat my meal.  ummmmm?   

I havn't flown in a looong time. So how do you eat your food on the plane these days? With your fingers?

 

Scott

Easy, they don't give you any.

[+The Cheeseheads]

You folks are worried about spent shells, pocket knives and knitting needles? Doesn't the mandatory full body cavity search bother anyone? They do that to everyone right? Right?!?!

I guess that would make your avatar look like this as well...

[+Johnnie Stalkers]

You folks are worried about spent shells, pocket knives and knitting needles?  Doesn't the mandatory full body cavity search bother anyone?  They do that to everyone right? Right?!?!

I guess that would make your avatar look like this as well...

DOH!

[+The Weasel]

Awww man, who PHARTed Hmm, how man types of pharts are there?

 

I would say the hard boiled egg and beer PHART is the worse!!

[+rusty_tlc]

i have never flown before so i'm not on the list.  i do have an aunt that had knittting needles taken away form her.  she is 76.  i have come to the conclusion that they should have a section in the back of the plane where they can isolate all the women who want to knit on the flight.  they can use chicken wire to block it off and if any one of needs to get up for any reason, they have to be escorted by an attendent.  that'll keep those deadly knitters from taking over the plane.

Ya never know, those rogue knitters could knit a garroutte and strangle a pilot, or hijack the plane with a macrame pot holder!

Or worse... she might knit an Afghan!

I knew somebody would post that.

[+Stump]

I made the list last month after a geocaching event in Canada. Returning home the customs agents gave me the third degree trying to figure out why I was on vacation in a station wagon without my kids or wife. I mentioned I was meeting up with people from the states and from Canada he asked who the Canadians were. My brain froze and I realized I couldn't remember their real names. Geocaching names just wouldn't do it for him.

 

Next thing I know my car is being searched (twice) and my face is against the wall while I'm being frisked with a guy holding a gun blocking the door.

[+GEO*Trailblazer 1]

I am on the list and do not even fly??????

It just depends on what is written on the list that matters.

 

All of us are on the list that use computers,gps's and technologies.

No big deal if you are an AMERICAN CITIZEN,

and there are a lot of visitors that are on the list too.

At least they got a (partial list),I wish they had a list of every terrorist there is.

It sure would be easier to find em.

 

I am not reflecting anything to anybody here just giving my opinoin.

[boreal jeff & sons]

screw around with me and my cup of coffee but let all the mideastern looking people walk by without a glance

The next one that hi-jacks one of your planes or other terrorist action is going to be blond haired, blue eyed, with a freckled face. Who do you think did all the bombings in Ireland?

 

Racism is going to lead you down the path of destruction....

[Pat_in_Utah]

I have always felt they should just bolt the cockpit door closed and never open it until the plane lands

 

Bingo! That is when I will feel safe to fly again! A thich metal door is more resilant than a person IMO! They'd have to blow the plane apart to get to the cockpit - works for me!

 

Pat

[+Team GPSaxophone]

Slightly OT, but I love when they're doing pat down searchs on little old ladies and some dad wearing bermuda shorts and sandals, while young, middle eastern looking males walk right by.  All in the name of political correctness. Don't dare profile. Makes me feel real safe!

What I never understood was the random secondary gateside screening. Um we maybe didn't do a good job at the checkpoint so we'll try again with a few of you down here.

On profiling: For the first two years after 9/11 my wife would just roll up her sleeve, show her scar, and tell the screeners I need to go in that line. She was in a bad car wreck and had a titanium rod and 6 screws holding her bone together. Seems that she would still be one of the ones selected for secondary screening too.

In Denver she got sent behind the screen where there were three college age hip hop looking black kids from the Shaw U. jazz band. Their instruments were removed from the oddly shaped cases for additional scrutiny. One of them saw Shadowgal and said"lady am I glad to see you. I thought we were being singled out because we're black and young. Now I see da Man hassles middle aged white chicks too."

Way back when I was a freshman in High School, George Bush was the vice-president and running for President. Our school band played for his visit to town. The secret service checked our instrument cases, but not the instruments. They must not have thought that a saxophone could be dangerous, but this was before Kenny G

[+greengolftee87]

On my way to las vegas the summer after 8th grade i was flying sun american and on the side of the food cart a sign said "Steak knives available upon request"

of course this was before 9/11