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The Geocaching Guide to Halloween Survival


joefrog

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The Halloween Survival Guide

 

When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.

 

If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move away immediately.

 

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

 

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

 

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

 

When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.

 

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

 

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

 

If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, *leave the room immediately if you value your life.*

 

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

 

Do not take *anything* from the dead.

 

If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

 

Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

 

If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

 

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

 

Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

 

If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

 

Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.

 

Joel (joefrog)

 

"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for ye are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!"

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Nilbog! ha ha Those are great. A few more....

 

If you hear eerie music playing and you are not near a radio.

 

If a short woman with a sqeeky voice tells you something about "the light"...you might want to listen.

 

If your friend starts talking about how cool it would be to be a vampire...humm...this says it all: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20031009/od_nm/odd_vampire_dc_1

 

CacheCreatures are spreading... They can hide, but they can't run!

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quote:
Originally posted by Renegade Knight:

Since you only die right after sex, don't have any on halloween.

 


 

My wife (Queen Mikki I) will have none of that, so I will have to keep my vial of holy water, shotgun with silver pellets, and wooden stake handy. (Advance notice: no jokes about alternative uses for a long wooden stake...) icon_biggrin.gif

 

_____________

 

7 3 10 13 23 36 59 95 ...

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Never go into the bathroom, look into the mirror, and chant, "Caching Man" three times.

 

If you find a bowling ball bag as a cache, DO not open it!!

 

If you hit a fellow cacher's dad with you car while you and a bunch of cacher's are partying, help the guy out, don't just leave the body!!

 

" If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride...and never quit, you'll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards." Paul "Bear" Bryant

 

God Bless you and your family.

 

God bless

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" I know where you cached last summer icon_redface.gif"

 

" If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride...and never quit, you'll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards." Paul "Bear" Bryant

 

God Bless you and your family.

 

God bless

 

[This message was edited by Bubba Cache on October 28, 2003 at 09:05 AM.]

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quote:
Originally posted by Team Og Rof A Klaw:

Scuzeme, but how the aiytch-ee-double-hockeysticks did _that_ get approved when perfectly reasonable You-Know-Whats don't? icon_confused.gif


 

I'm confused by this entire conversation. That link doesn't even take you to a Geocaching page. Look at the URL.

 

Why make a fake page?

 

Pan

 

Fact is that there is nothing out there you can't do,

Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you...

Floyd of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, from "Can You Picture That?"

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quote:
Originally posted by Pantalaimon:

 

I'm confused by this entire conversation. That link doesn't even take you to a Geocaching page. Look at the URL.

 

Why make a fake page?

 

Pan


 

Because in that case, it's FUNNY! "If you come at the wrong time, you may need a bathysphere." ROFL!

 

Joel (joefrog)

 

"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for ye are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!"

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quote:
la mayyitan ma qadirun yatabaqa sarmadi fa itha ash-shuthath al-mautu qad yantahi.
ROT13 will not avail you against the batyrachian jaws of this hint.

 

mad.gif For back.gif that bad_boy_a.gif matter, big_smile.gif on cute.gif Halloween, ohh.gif avoid sad.gif all shock.gif things smile.gif Batyrachian. surprise.gif

 

____________________________

- Team Og Rof A Klaw

All who wander are not lost.

 

[This message was edited by Team Og Rof A Klaw on October 28, 2003 at 02:32 PM.]

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