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Greetings

The Hornet

By The Hornet
in United Kingdom and Ireland

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The Hornet

+The Hornet

Posted
Posted

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to our friends , but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my solicitor yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the following for the record:

 

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

 

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to say England is greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

 

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others. It is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one calendar year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Its warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher and can be withdrawn at any time at the request of the wisher.

 

*Disclaimer:*

 

No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced.

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NickandAliandEliza

+NickandAliandEliza

Posted
Posted

I'm not totally convinced that it is completely PC orientated, but Merry Christmas all the same. I hope everyone has a better day than what I am expecting to have? (Work ;) )

 

Ditto.............Christmas Eve, 12 hours Christmas day, 12 hours Boxing Day, New Years eve, New Years day and all the days between............I reckon it's going to be freezing as well. And I won't be getting the TomTom Rider I was anticipating for Christmas. And I'm going all the way to Newcastle on Sunday to watch Spurs and I bet they lose. And I still haven't broken the 700 mark. I think out of sympathy for me you should all cancel your Christmas celebrations.........

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Mr Hedgehog

+Mr Hedgehog

Posted
Posted
I'm not totally convinced that it is completely PC orientated, but Merry Christmas all the same. I hope everyone has a better day than what I am expecting to have? (Work ;) )

 

From a personal point of view, I couldn't give a monkeys whether it is Politically Correct or not. I have been, and will continue to wish everyone a very Happy Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year.

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careygang

+careygang

Posted
Posted

This was circulating at work today with relevant names inserted, it's not what I normally associate with the American sense of humour and I can't wait to see what the management make of it ...

 

I’m sending this on behalf of **** *******.

 

The holiday’s are not a time to spend alone, unless no one likes you. And then it’s ok. The winter solstice, or Christmas, shows a noticeable spike in suicides and attempts, this is never the answer (excluding **** ******) and if you are thinking of injuring yourself, please ensure you let scheduling know so they can get your shifts covered.

 

Seriously, Present-mas is a time to spend with friends and family. Since a lot of people will be in the area without family, you can spend Our Lord and Savior Jesus’ birthday with friends. So, if you are here and have no plans for Kwanzaa then please reply to **** ******* and I, and we’ll get you hooked up for a good old fashion Hanukkah dinner.

 

There will be several places to go. To included an atheist/agnostic themed get together at my house, where we will all sit down and give thanks to no mythical beings what-so-ever.

 

Ok, I think I’ve managed to offend everyone one equally, so there should be no need to go to MEO, but in case you do here is the phone number: *** - ****.

 

Peace, Joy, & Jihad!

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Simply Paul

+Simply Paul

Posted
Posted (edited)
I think it's so important to have a nicely trimmed bush tree at Christmas...
That brought back some happy memories of a past giftmas, when I was presented with an unexpected- um... surprise by the then-girlfriend. She'd used green food dye and the baubles were those little edible silver cake decorations. ;)

 

For all the night cachers and worlocks, enjoy the shortest day tomorrow, and for everyone else, have a great winter festival of your choice. :D

Edited by Simply Paul
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NickandAliandEliza

+NickandAliandEliza

Posted
Posted

I'm not totally convinced that it is completely PC orientated, but Merry Christmas all the same. I hope everyone has a better day than what I am expecting to have? (Work :) )

 

Ditto.............Christmas Eve, 12 hours Christmas day, 12 hours Boxing Day, New Years eve, New Years day and all the days between............I reckon it's going to be freezing as well. And I won't be getting the TomTom Rider I was anticipating for Christmas. And I'm going all the way to Newcastle on Sunday to watch Spurs and I bet they lose. And I still haven't broken the 700 mark. I think out of sympathy for me you should all cancel your Christmas celebrations.........

 

I take it all back.....no work for me for the next 6 weeks. It's not the 700 mark I broke - just my ankle.....

 

(And Spurs did lose)

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maxkim

+maxkim

Posted
Posted

I'm not totally convinced that it is completely PC orientated, but Merry Christmas all the same. I hope everyone has a better day than what I am expecting to have? (Work :shocked: )

 

Ditto.............Christmas Eve, 12 hours Christmas day, 12 hours Boxing Day, New Years eve, New Years day and all the days between............I reckon it's going to be freezing as well. And I won't be getting the TomTom Rider I was anticipating for Christmas. And I'm going all the way to Newcastle on Sunday to watch Spurs and I bet they lose. And I still haven't broken the 700 mark. I think out of sympathy for me you should all cancel your Christmas celebrations.........

 

I take it all back.....no work for me for the next 6 weeks. It's not the 700 mark I broke - just my ankle.....

 

(And Spurs did lose)

Bad luck... hope it gets better soon... Worse things could happen... you could support Leeds... LOL. :shocked:

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NickandAliandEliza

+NickandAliandEliza

Posted
Posted

I'm not totally convinced that it is completely PC orientated, but Merry Christmas all the same. I hope everyone has a better day than what I am expecting to have? (Work :shocked: )

 

Ditto.............Christmas Eve, 12 hours Christmas day, 12 hours Boxing Day, New Years eve, New Years day and all the days between............I reckon it's going to be freezing as well. And I won't be getting the TomTom Rider I was anticipating for Christmas. And I'm going all the way to Newcastle on Sunday to watch Spurs and I bet they lose. And I still haven't broken the 700 mark. I think out of sympathy for me you should all cancel your Christmas celebrations.........

 

I take it all back.....no work for me for the next 6 weeks. It's not the 700 mark I broke - just my ankle.....

 

(And Spurs did lose)

Bad luck... hope it gets better soon... Worse things could happen... you could support Leeds... LOL. :shocked:

 

Yep - you're right there! And at least I won't be working on Christmas day or New Years Eve for the first time in 15 years.

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