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There Are No Small Geocaches

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Well, I guess that’s not really true, there are small geocaches, but we call them micros. I don’t know why there is no “small” designation though. Sometimes I want to hide a cache that’s not really regular size, but much bigger than a micro. When I hear micro, I think I’ll need a microscope to find it. I had one as a kid, didn’t work worth a crap though. The stupid mirror was never shining the light in the right place. I was too poor to buy the kind that had the built in light. The small geocachers we call children. Children are fun, except when they’re whining. If they didn’t spend all freaking day in front of their PS2, the ten mile hike wouldn’t hurt so much. No, I have to listen to “We want to eat” or “I’m tired”. Shut the hell up, that’s what I say. No, I don’t say it like that though. I just say it in my head. Nobody knows what’s going on in there. That’s mine and I don’t have to share it with anyone. Not like two cookies. If you have two cookies, you’re expected to share one with your friend. It doesn’t matter that you thought ahead and brought two cookies because you wanted to eat two cookies. No, I have to give one to my slacker friend who only thought to bring his comb. What the hell are you going to use that for? You’re practically freaking bald as it is, probably from wearing hats all the time. That’s why I don’t wear my geocache hat very often. I don’t want to go bald from geocaching. I don’t know what to do when I have two cookies and there are three of us. Can’t split that up evenly. Then I have to lie, say I only brought one cookie, and then gobble the other one down when nobody’s looking. Not as enjoyable. Kind of like meeting three girls in a bar. One is hot, the other is so-so, and the third looks like somebody used her face to beat the bark off a log. I mean, I don’t want to appear superficial, but I ain’t kissing asteroid face there. I never had that problem in puberty, my face was not plagued by pimples. That’s why I think I’m going through puberty again now. My face keeps breaking out and I’m horny all the time. I’m probably going to go right from puberty to old age in one year. Then it’s sweet dementia. Going to the mall in just my underpants, driving on whatever side of the road suits me. Yeah, sweet sweet dementia.

Edited by Criminal
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You ever lower the lens of your microscope too far and crack the glass. that sucked.


I usually bring three cookies that way the slacker friend can have one and I still have two.


As far as small caches go. There should be a small cache category. Like anything aboutthe size of a sandwich should be a small cache not a micro. I don't hunt micros but I would hunt a sandwich.....(sized cache)

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Cache catagories could be broken down into various ranges of cubic measure. There might be a debate about which system to use though. I like cubic inches, I've never been able to "think" in metric. Of course there could also be a debate over cubic measure vs volume-metric measure. Which would eventualy evolve back into which system to use, again I prefer quarts to liters, same reason as above.


I like microscopes, got one right next to me now. But mine is kind of expensive, it's great to have around when I get one of those little standie on end splinters, you know the ones that hurt like bejeusus but are completly invisiable.


My kid is grown, I borrow my sisters kids once in a while to remind myself why we only had one. When they whine I send them home. Borrowed kids are the way to go, lots of fun, no trouble. Kind of like rental cars, who cares what you do when your driving a rental? Same with kids, be a hero feed them junk, and let them ride the hammer til they throw up.


Cookies? Jerky and burbon, if slacker cacher didn't plan ahead tough. I won't even share my water.


I hate hats, but I have the friar tuck thing happening. I found some stuff from Bullfrog that you spray on, works great but your hair looks like plastic. Still better than trying to massage the Banana Boat 30SPF water proof stuff into my scalp.


I totally skiped everything between puberty and senility, just seemed like a waste of time.

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criminal! criminal! criminal! i have never met you and i probably never will. you have to be one of the most profound people i have ever read. actually i am a small geocacher. well! not really small, just short. 5ft. tall and somewhat horizontally enhanced. no children to worry about, because i am just to selfish and short tempered to have them. share cookies? nope, not me, not gonna do it. who cares if you are superficial? everyone who is honest with themselves will admit to being superficial. we all come first to ourselves if we will just acknowledge it. i am almst 50 years old, young, whatever. my hands hurt from lupus, (that's why no capital letters, they hurt to do.) i cache when i can, work when i can, and lay around doing nothing but watching tv when i can't do anything else. wear your geocache hat. lots of women love men who are bald or balding. it sure looks better than a comb-over. keep the thoughts in your head you want to and let the others out. one word or many. i will enjoy them. that probably won't matter to you, that's fine. i will still enjoy them.

Edited by uperdooper
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I agree with the "small" caches and i also think that when you are lookiing at the list of caches in your area or where ever u are looking it should just say what size it is.I am not talking about when you are looking at one cache only but when u are looking at the list. I like to repeat myself because some people need to read things twice and are to lazt to reread a whole post.eeek.getting of topic.

signen out

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no, I think its ADHD 4 words, 1 acronim. Ive been ROTFLMAO all morning because of your post. Well not really, Ive been in class LOTDSMAO (Leaning on the desk sleeping My @** off) "not" listening to the teachers blabbing away. Thanks for letting me LMAO for my break, oh crap there be the principal, G2G back to learning caugh...LOTDSMAO...caugh :(:rolleyes:

Edited by wildearth2001
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Just remember, when you decide to share those cookies, and get thirsty, that most fast food places now don't sell small drinks. It's either medium, large, or supersize. Not small, medium, and large like it was when I grew up. Why? I guess it's ok if I use that on my wife, though. "No, honey, it's large." What once made me only medium, or average, is now above average, or "large". That works.


Where are my fingers? I saw them a little while ago, but now they're...oh, nevermind, here they are. Goodnight.

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