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TrailGators

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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! ;)

 

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?

 

3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.

 

Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte

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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! :)

 

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?

 

3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.

 

Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte

The third satellite gives two possible spots where you could be:

 

9e36eb2a-19a2-4ada-9deb-65e2e4d4af70.jpg

 

The GPS is programmed to discard the spot that is out in the middle of space. That is why you really only need 3 satellites to determine your actual position.

Edited by TrailGators
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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! :)

 

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?

 

3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.

 

Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte

The third satellite gives two possible spots where you could be:

 

9e36eb2a-19a2-4ada-9deb-65e2e4d4af70.jpg

 

The GPS is programmed to discard the spot that is out in the middle of space. That is why you really only need 3 satellites to determine your actual position.

 

You can get your Lat and Long with 3 satalites but you still will not know your altitude, as I can be at the same point on the earth but if I climb a 50ft latter I will be 50ft higher. That is what the 4th is for.

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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! :)

 

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?

 

3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.

 

Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte

The third satellite gives two possible spots where you could be:

 

9e36eb2a-19a2-4ada-9deb-65e2e4d4af70.jpg

 

The GPS is programmed to discard the spot that is out in the middle of space. That is why you really only need 3 satellites to determine your actual position.

 

You can get your Lat and Long with 3 satalites but you still will not know your altitude, as I can be at the same point on the earth but if I climb a 50ft latter I will be 50ft higher. That is what the 4th is for.

 

Eric, I was just answering his question on how many it takes to get a lock for geocaching purposes.

 

It seems like there would be enough knowns to calculate the altitude with only three satellites. Maybe it's just too much math for the tiny processor so using a 4th satelllite speeds up the calculation. I'll have to think about it longer...

Edited by TrailGators
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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! :)

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?
3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.
Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte
The third satellite gives two possible spots where you could be:

 

9e36eb2a-19a2-4ada-9deb-65e2e4d4af70.jpg

 

The GPS is programmed to discard the spot that is out in the middle of space. That is why you really only need 3 satellites to determine your actual position.

You can get your Lat and Long with 3 satalites but you still will not know your altitude, as I can be at the same point on the earth but if I climb a 50ft latter I will be 50ft higher. That is what the 4th is for.
Eric, I was just answering his question on how many it takes to get a lock for geocaching purposes.

 

It seems like there would be enough knowns to calculate the altitude with only three satellites. Maybe it's just too much math for the tiny processor so using a 4th satelllite speeds up the calculation. I'll have to think about it longer...

With perfect precision, three satellites would be sufficient to give you your position in three dimensional space. So you should be able to fix altitude as well as lat/long with just three.

 

The problem is that there is an error figure involved in distances calculated. Imagine, when using the nifty simulator above, that the lines are fat. Rather than being at a single point, you could be anywhere within the intersection of the fat lines. Worse, because of the geometry of calculating a point on a sphere (the earth) using spheres that orbiting the earth at approximately the same distance from the earth, the altitudinal uncertainty (vertical dilution of postion, VDOP) is worse than lat/long uncertainty (horizontal dilution of position, HDOP).

 

So, how to resolve this? Take more measurements. Use a fourth satellite to help resolve the uncertainty. Even so, the lat/long will always be more certain than the altitude. With 8-12 satellites, it's not so hard to have a horizontal uncertainty of 15 feet. Altitude-wise, though, you are doing well to know where you are within 50 feet.

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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! :)

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?
3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.
Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte
The third satellite gives two possible spots where you could be:

 

9e36eb2a-19a2-4ada-9deb-65e2e4d4af70.jpg

 

The GPS is programmed to discard the spot that is out in the middle of space. That is why you really only need 3 satellites to determine your actual position.

You can get your Lat and Long with 3 satalites but you still will not know your altitude, as I can be at the same point on the earth but if I climb a 50ft latter I will be 50ft higher. That is what the 4th is for.
Eric, I was just answering his question on how many it takes to get a lock for geocaching purposes.

 

It seems like there would be enough knowns to calculate the altitude with only three satellites. Maybe it's just too much math for the tiny processor so using a 4th satelllite speeds up the calculation. I'll have to think about it longer...

With perfect precision, three satellites would be sufficient to give you your position in three dimensional space. So you should be able to fix altitude as well as lat/long with just three.

 

The problem is that there is an error figure involved in distances calculated. Imagine, when using the nifty simulator above, that the lines are fat. Rather than being at a single point, you could be anywhere within the intersection of the fat lines. Worse, because of the geometry of calculating a point on a sphere (the earth) using spheres that orbiting the earth at approximately the same distance from the earth, the altitudinal uncertainty (vertical dilution of postion, VDOP) is worse than lat/long uncertainty (horizontal dilution of position, HDOP).

 

So, how to resolve this? Take more measurements. Use a fourth satellite to help resolve the uncertainty. Even so, the lat/long will always be more certain than the altitude. With 8-12 satellites, it's not so hard to have a horizontal uncertainty of 15 feet. Altitude-wise, though, you are doing well to know where you are within 50 feet.

Thanks James. I figured you would know more about it. That was interesting. Certainly more data points will give a better average. I'm not sure why I didn't think of that. Edited by TrailGators
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Here is a cool website that shows you how a GPS works! :D

Yea i tried it out, It is a neat and easy way to learn basic of gps. I though in order to get a lock you needed four satalittes?
3 satellites will get you a 2D location. The 4th lock will get you your 3D position.
Thanks that is what i thought but none of the gps basic sites ever has a fourth satalitte
The third satellite gives two possible spots where you could be:

 

9e36eb2a-19a2-4ada-9deb-65e2e4d4af70.jpg

 

The GPS is programmed to discard the spot that is out in the middle of space. That is why you really only need 3 satellites to determine your actual position.

You can get your Lat and Long with 3 satalites but you still will not know your altitude, as I can be at the same point on the earth but if I climb a 50ft latter I will be 50ft higher. That is what the 4th is for.
Eric, I was just answering his question on how many it takes to get a lock for geocaching purposes.

 

It seems like there would be enough knowns to calculate the altitude with only three satellites. Maybe it's just too much math for the tiny processor so using a 4th satelllite speeds up the calculation. I'll have to think about it longer...

With perfect precision, three satellites would be sufficient to give you your position in three dimensional space. So you should be able to fix altitude as well as lat/long with just three.

 

The problem is that there is an error figure involved in distances calculated. Imagine, when using the nifty simulator above, that the lines are fat. Rather than being at a single point, you could be anywhere within the intersection of the fat lines. Worse, because of the geometry of calculating a point on a sphere (the earth) using spheres that orbiting the earth at approximately the same distance from the earth, the altitudinal uncertainty (vertical dilution of postion, VDOP) is worse than lat/long uncertainty (horizontal dilution of position, HDOP).

 

So, how to resolve this? Take more measurements. Use a fourth satellite to help resolve the uncertainty. Even so, the lat/long will always be more certain than the altitude. With 8-12 satellites, it's not so hard to have a horizontal uncertainty of 15 feet. Altitude-wise, though, you are doing well to know where you are within 50 feet.

Thanks James. I figured you would know more about it. That was interesting. Certainly more data points will give a better average. I'm not sure why I didn't think of that.

 

As long as my needle points to where I need to go and the numbers get to 00 I'm good :DB)B):)

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Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

 

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile ."

Pooooof! With a blink of the Genie's eye, the land was made fertile for farming.

Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want an impenetrable wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran with all believers of Mohammad inside and all Jews, Americans, and other infidels forever outside our precious state.

Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall".

 

The Genie explains , "Well, it's 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds these countries........ it's virtually impenetrable.

Now what is your wish?"

 

The American engineer smiles and says, "Fill it with water."

Pooooof!

WORLD PEACE !! 0002010E.gif

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Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

 

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile ."

Pooooof! With a blink of the Genie's eye, the land was made fertile for farming.

Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want an impenetrable wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran with all believers of Mohammad inside and all Jews, Americans, and other infidels forever outside our precious state.

Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall".

 

The Genie explains , "Well, it's 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds these countries........ it's virtually impenetrable.

Now what is your wish?"

 

The American engineer smiles and says, "Fill it with water."

Pooooof!

WORLD PEACE !! 0002010E.gif

B)B):D:ph34r:
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Why would anyone jump out of perfectly good airplane?!? By the way, I'm the one with the full beard and sunglasses (at 1:57). Not sure which one is my jump, but I did about the same thing as Judy at 2:07...

Way to go FlagMan. You are very brave.

We need to hear more about the full beard and sunglasses (at 1:57).

You should see the picture on my credit card that was taken from a DMV picture circa 1985. Whenever I use it in a 7-11 the clerk just says, "Take what you want, just don't set off the bomb!"

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Why would anyone jump out of perfectly good airplane?!? By the way, I'm the one with the full beard and sunglasses (at 1:57). Not sure which one is my jump, but I did about the same thing as Judy at 2:07...

Way to go FlagMan. You are very brave.

We need to hear more about the full beard and sunglasses (at 1:57).

You should see the picture on my credit card that was taken from a DMV picture circa 1985. Whenever I use it in a 7-11 the clerk just says, "Take what you want, just don't set off the bomb!"

Well ... post it for gosh sakes. Maybe we need a series of 1970-80s photos of local Geocachers.

 

In a related way, at age thirty-two the first airplane my dear-old dad ever rode in he had to jump out of.

Edited by SD Rowdies
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you watch the flooding in the Midwest , have you noticed that there are no farmers running around with stolen plasma T V's or holding stolen liquor over their heads.

 

There's no looting or yelling, "Where's Bush?", "Where's FEMA?", "Where's my check?" or "Why isn't the government out here saving me and my farm?"

 

Likewise, I've also noticed there are no reports of any other country coming to help or send aid. And where are the Reverends Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton?" Shocking contrast isn't it? Could it be that these folks are used to taking care of themselves?

 

They haven't been trained to wait for the Government handout, like another subset of our population.

 

They haven't been indoctrinated with the idea that because of past wrongs, they will never be right.

 

They haven't been told, day after day, year after year, generation after generation, that "The Great Society" will look after them.

 

They haven't learned that all they need to do is reproduce and wait for the checks to roll in ! ! !

 

00020109.gif

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you watch the flooding in the Midwest , have you noticed that there are no farmers running around with stolen plasma TV's or holding stolen liquor over their heads.

 

There's no looting or yelling, "Where's Bush?", "Where's FEMA?", "Where's my check?" or "Why isn't the government out here saving me and my farm?"

 

Likewise, I've also noticed there are no reports of any other country coming to help or send aid. And where are the Reverends Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton?" Shocking contrast isn't it? Could it be that these folks are used to taking care of themselves?

 

They haven't been trained to wait for the Government handout, like another subset of our population.

 

They haven't been indoctrinated with the idea that because of past wrongs, they will never be right.

 

They haven't been told, day after day, year after year, generation after generation, that "The Great Society" will look after them.

 

They haven't learned that all they need to do is reproduce and wait for the checks to roll in ! ! !

 

00020109.gif

:)
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you watch the flooding in the Midwest , have you noticed that there are no farmers running around with stolen plasma T V's or holding stolen liquor over their heads.

 

There's no looting or yelling, "Where's Bush?", "Where's FEMA?", "Where's my check?" or "Why isn't the government out here saving me and my farm?"

 

Likewise, I've also noticed there are no reports of any other country coming to help or send aid. And where are the Reverends Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton?" Shocking contrast isn't it? Could it be that these folks are used to taking care of themselves?

 

They haven't been trained to wait for the Government handout, like another subset of our population.

 

They haven't been indoctrinated with the idea that because of past wrongs, they will never be right.

 

They haven't been told, day after day, year after year, generation after generation, that "The Great Society" will look after them.

 

They haven't learned that all they need to do is reproduce and wait for the checks to roll in ! ! !

 

00020109.gif

 

Right On!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Boudreaux and De Snake

 

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie.

 

Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid.

 

Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him had a real good grip on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his bait can.

 

Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker.

 

He pour some draps into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou.

 

Den he goes back to fishin'.

 

A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was, with TWO frogs.

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Somethin's Botherin' Me

 

California and Californians are often said to be national trend

setters, yes? So what's wrong with us? New York is eating our

lunch.

 

Yeah, sure, we've had some Flash Mob Events but now that's

somewhat behind the times. What's happenin' now?

 

Freezeouts are in of course ...

 

Freezeout Grand Central

 

Not only that ...

 

Wear No Pants Subway Ride

 

C'mon, let's get with it, this one is Perfect for a Jahoadi & John

"Save Gas" trolley-ride event.

Edited by SD Rowdies
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Somethin's Botherin' Me

 

California and Californians are often said to be national trend

setters, yes? So what's wrong with us? New York is eating our

lunch.

 

Yeah, sure, we've had some Flash Mob Events but now that's

somewhat behind the times. What's happenin' now?

 

Freezeouts are in of course ...

 

Freezeout Grand Central

 

Not only that ...

 

Wear No Pants Subway Ride

 

C'mon, let's get with it, this one is Perfect for a Jahoadi & John

"Save Gas" trolley-ride event.

 

Harmon you have way to much time on your hands. It's a scary picture, Harmon walking around with no pants on. 00020115.gif Now the freeze event looks cool. 00020110.gif

Edited by SKILLET
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It's a scary picture, Harmon walking around with no pants on.

Hey! ... 'smatte' with these legs?

 

9d18bc9d-c229-411b-bc25-3730a1a209df.jpg

 

To be honest I didn't know my archive-gallery went back that far.

Still you must admit that it's a no-pants shot ... taken by Splashette

by the way.

 

Note to Self: Stop giving them chances for Jaws edits.

Edited by SD Rowdies
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It's a scary picture, Harmon walking around with no pants on.

Hey! ... 'smatte' with these legs?

 

9d18bc9d-c229-411b-bc25-3730a1a209df.jpg

 

To be honest I didn't know my archive-gallery went back that far.

Still you must admit that it's a no-pants shot ... taken by Splashette

by the way.

 

Note to Self: Stop giving them chances for Jaws edits.

 

beb1ef19-0688-4335-9744-64b982f0e14f.jpg

 

Nothing like aged beef ...

 

:D

Link to comment

It's a scary picture, Harmon walking around with no pants on.

Hey! ... 'smatte' with these legs?

 

9d18bc9d-c229-411b-bc25-3730a1a209df.jpg

 

To be honest I didn't know my archive-gallery went back that far.

Still you must admit that it's a no-pants shot ... taken by Splashette

by the way.

 

Note to Self: Stop giving them chances for Jaws edits.

 

beb1ef19-0688-4335-9744-64b982f0e14f.jpg

 

Nothing like aged beef ...

 

:D

OUCH! why I oughta ...

Edited by SD Rowdies
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Things to ponder

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

 

2. 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

 

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

 

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =

1 bananosecond

 

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

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Things to ponder

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

 

2. 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

 

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

 

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =

1 bananosecond

 

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

:):):sad::(:D
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Things to ponder

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

 

2. 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

 

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

 

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement =

1 bananosecond

 

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

:P:P:(:(:P

lol B):P

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Absolutely nothing to do with Geocaching but maybe those of you who have children will find this amusing. Or maybe those of you without children will find it amusing and the rest of you will cringe?

 

:)http://bobbyboom.blogspot.com/2008/07/more...-and-games.html :D

 

By the way, the kid wiping down the door cracks me up. Clearly, the crisis at hand was "not my job, mon."

Edited by Let's Look Over Thayer
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One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

 

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

 

 

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

 

 

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you" card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

 

 

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

 

 

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.

 

 

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

 

 

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

 

 

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

 

 

Vote carefully this year.
000201DD.gif

 

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One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

[/size]

 

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

 

 

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

 

 

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you" card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

 

 

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

 

 

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.

 

 

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

 

 

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

 

 

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

 

 

Vote carefully this year.
000201DD.gif

 

:rolleyes:
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There are less than five months until the election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of "all" Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

 

In a Bi-Partisan effort for America:

 

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

 

If you support Barack Hussein Obama, please drive with your headlights off at night.

 

Together, we can make it happen. ;)

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There are less than five months until the election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of "all" Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

 

In a Bi-Partisan effort for America:

 

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

 

If you support Barack Hussein Obama, please drive with your headlights off at night.

 

Together, we can make it happen. ;)

 

00020142.gif

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There are less than five months until the election, an election that will decide the next President of the United States . The person elected will be the president of "all" Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. It's time that we all came together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

 

In a Bi-Partisan effort for America:

 

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

 

If you support Barack Hussein Obama, please drive with your headlights off at night.

 

Together, we can make it happen. :D

 

;)

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Then the fight started.....

 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station.....

 

And then the fight started....

 

************************************************************************

 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

 

And then the fight started.....

 

***********************************************************************

 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

 

And then the fight started.....

 

***********************************************************************

 

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

 

And then the fight started.....

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Then the fight started.....

 

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station.....

 

And then the fight started....

 

************************************************************************

 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'

 

And then the fight started.....

 

***********************************************************************

 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

 

And then the fight started.....

 

***********************************************************************

 

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

 

And then the fight started.....

 

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