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Must suck to be a man....

S.C. & T.J.

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Team Girl Power (Mickey225, SunCrush & Bayberry) all jumped in my van and off we went to chase after the other car loads of people looking for this hard cache. One had a GPS the other didnt. I stood back as I saw men trying to hang on to trees for fear of falling into water, several of them looked right at the cache and didnt even know it. Mickey225 went to take a peak and sure nuff' she looked at me and whispered.. "It's right here!!" I said "Say something!" So she did say so and plenty loud enough. GO GIRL POWER.. no GPS and she still found it!! The men looked mighty annoyed but frazzled as they notice it was right where they had looked the first time!! Hmmmm must WE always find stuff for you MEN!!

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100 reasons why its better to be a man:


1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

3. You know stuff about tanks.

4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

5. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

8. You can open all your own jars.

9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.

11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

12. Your a$$ is never a factor in a job interview.

13. All your orgasms are real.

14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

17. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

19. Your last name stays put.

20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

22. You can kill your own food.

23. The garage is all yours.

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

26. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

27. You never have to clean the toilet.

28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend.

32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship

34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ape every nite.

37. If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.

38. You can write your name in the snow.

39. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

40. Everything on your face stays its original color.

41. Chocolate is just another snack.

42. You can be President.

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

44. Flowers fix everything.

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

51. Foreplay is optional.

52. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

56. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58. You don't give a rat's patootie*** if someone notices your new haircut.

59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking, "He must be mad at me."

60. The world is your urinal.

61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64. One mood, all the time.

65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

69. Same work....more pay.

70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.

76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77. The remote is yours and yours alone.

78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

81. Bachelor parties whomp a$$ over bridal showers.

82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F**k it!"

88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

95. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with, "So...notice anything different?"

99. Baywatch

100. There is always a game on somewhere.


"Au pays des aveugles, les borgnes sont rois"


[This message was edited by BrianSnat on June 24, 2003 at 11:00 AM.]

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Originally posted by BrianSnat:

100 reasons why its better to be a man:




89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.



_"Au pays des aveugles, les borgnes sont rois"_


[This message was edited by BrianSnat on June 24, 2003 at 11:00 AM.]


Who was Princess Di?


Give me a Tall ship, and a Star to steer her bye...


The White Fleet....

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Now back to your Top 100 List.. heres our replys to what us women think:


1. The reason we talk so long is to get every little detail and oh ya we actually LISTEN!!

2. Why only have 1 pair of everything thats so dull, unlike us.

3. I watch "MAIL CALL" I know stuff about Tanks too, how they make MRE's and about what to wear when hiking for long periods of time... did you boys know that you should wear white socks and not colored socks while hiking.. cause the color from the dye can get into cuts or blisters and infect the area as white doesnt. DIDNT THINK SO!!

4. I pack only one suitcase, if a woman needs more than one its because after she gets done packing and the MAN then says "WHeres my stuff gonna fit"!!

5. We can turn nuts and bolts and we also change light bulbs too.

6. Were not monitoring our friends sex lives were learning new tips and things for you MEN!

7. The bathroom lines are longer cause they only have toliets for girls, unlike in mens rooms they have toliets and urinals on the wall.. more of you can fit in there.

8. There is this very cool invention there things that grip the jar and we turn and whola the top pops off.

9. We really dont care if friends lose or drop weight, its the outfit that person is wearing if they notice it or not right away.

10. They dont rob us blind, I have had my fair shares of haircuts i have gotten and didnt have to pay for cause i didnt like them.. we too have a voice!!

11. Normally when we see a woman crying on tv its usally a good movie like GHOST, FRIED GREEN TOMATOES and SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE!!

12. Well if you sexious pigs you didnt have to throw a pencil on the ground to make us pick it up to look at our asses then it wouldnt matter now huh??

13. If the woman you with is faking orgasms then its YOUR fault.

14. Women dont have beer guts we drink lilte beer if any.

15. 82% of American Women how some kind of martial arts to protect herself... WATCH OUT BOYS!!

16. Well that useless bag sometimes cares your guys sunglasses and even wallets sometimes.. so whats useless now??

17. If your wearing wrinkly clothes thats yor own problem.

18. The reason we go in packs is to finish or keep talking about the topic we were on.. at least were not ready a 3 month outdated magazine over and over.

19. Alot of women keep there last names.

20. I leave a hotel bed unmade.. I can never get the sheets that tight fitting on the bed. Plus its her job.. not ours.

21. Dont panic... we attack sometimes!!

22. I have hit a friggin black *** jersey cow in the middle of a low bridge in FLorida talk about killing your own food!!

23. Mostly the garbage is half/half.. you guys dont pick up after your selfs.

24. EXtra Credit... HA!! thats what you think, you guys barely squeeze by.

25. Sad... Sad Man who laughs at that movie!

26. Alot of women dont have there nails done, infact a report came out not too long ago saying dont get your nails done due to a fungus being carried by chinese people who dont wash their hands!! We read and listen!!

27. I dont clean the toliet.. I spray some cleaner in there and flush!

28. I have been showered and ready in 10 minutes before, my hair drys in 3 minutes with the hair dryer.

29. I'm not worried about my rep, I dont sleep with every man i meet unlike you men with women.

30. Screw the wedding plans GO TO VEGAS!

31. I have don e this to friends with kids especially. No hard feelings!!

32. Lots of underwear packs are under $10, like for instance Target Hanes HEr Way 6 pack $9.89.

33. PlayGirl new issue every month!! (sigh)

34. If you cry your weak, i'm not weak i usually make them cry if not apologise real fast.

35. We dont want to look like an ape now do we?? NO!!

36. Who says we do? It could be a hot girl for all you guys know!!

37. If your 34 and single, most likely you havent meet Mr. Right yet or you have an EXCELLENT career.

38. Who says we cant... havent you heard of colored water from dye... we can do that too.

39. Curves are all the rage!!

40. Why look dull, when you can look nice!

41. I personally dont care for chocolate, peanut butter now your talking!!


43. I do, do that Trauma lets me drive though.

44. Flowers, why give us stuff that is gonna die in 3 days, give us sparklies (rings, necklaces) something we can keep. Come on guys spend some real money!!

45. Sometimes we dont!! We have people we hate too.

46. Who says we dont??!!!

47. We can too and not get wet.. if we wade, but you men always ruin it for us!!

48. Why limit your self.. go crazy.

49. Where the hell would you get a banana in a hardware store.. and if my local one sold it i would eat in in the power tools isle.

50. We can too see reponse to #45.

51. Same with us.. we sometimes want to get down to the nitty gritty!!

52. Hmmmm seems you repeated your self GO FIGURE!!

53. I hear my fair share, actually i like some of them, so let them keep rolling on in.

54. We can too.. we wear tank tops too and under shirts. Or sports bras.

55. Meter Reader's dont come in your house! DUH!!

56. Again why be dull.. !

57. There are alot of knowledgeable woman out there hate it if they scam one of them!!

58. We dont care either... if they do its cause your running your fingers through it.

59. We do that too.. why talk in the middle of the game you guys never LISTEN!!

60. YA... well CLEAN IT THEN!!!

61. Some of you guys are so dense we have to practically write it down on a piece of paper. BYE BYE

62. We do too!! FTF is always great with friends!!

63. Well it doesnt come near mine..and if you ladies out there do that.. your wasting your time.. the hiar comes back thicker.

64. YA.. right can we have that in writting!!

65. Clint Eastwood.. men.. look at George Clooney, Brad Pitt, John Travolta and Russel Crowe.

66. We dont have to.. there are things called.. door locks!!

67. Well know you guys should write a book.

68. We can too and if you guys look the girls who most likely do this doesnt have anything you wanna look at down there anyways.

69. Not exactly.. women are getting there fair share and sometimes if not more. Alot of Women CEO's out there.

70. Ya.. tell that to your self in the mirror.

71. Ok... we wish you guys would sometimes!

72. one word: ELOPE!!

73. Sometimes we do sometimes we dont.. normally cause we do it to them too but maybe even worse. WOMEN CAN BE SO DEVIOUS!!


75. We dont.. unless you take some of ours first!

76. okay you got us there #1 for you!

77. I hold my hand out and Trauma gives me the remote.. so who's the man now!!

78. Well if you would give the ladies the respect they deserve you might just be able to look later, not right off the bat!!

79. Some women dont care.. i've seen women with beads... hmmm whatever floats their boat!

80. We do that too.. but we buy our selfs gifts!

81. I've been to a few bridal showers, even one where the bride dumped the groom the night ebfore for the stripper who came to her party.. they have been married for 6 years now.

82. We do too.. its your guys mother who runs your lives if you do.

83. There are check-out girls too. they can imagine.

84. Well we dont need to hear publically announced what you will be doing in the bathroom now do we??!!

85. I have done this before... and so have friends done this with me.. MOVE ONE NEXT QUESTION!!

86. Someday weight be a kinky old grandma.

87. Like we dont cuss.. please F&*$ OFF!!

88. If we show up with the same out fit we have stuff to talk about like were we got iot who got it cheaper and where did we get the shoes.

89. Thats cruel. Guys have no understanding in them.

90. Girls blech too and Fart.

91. I have been turned down because he;s tired!! WAKE UP ITS EQUAL RIGHTS DAY!!

92. YA.. funny if the dog bites your *** and chases you across the yard!! FUNNY Stuff that woudl be.

93. Like you dont think we can't. How many times have i beat the toaster, remote, Gps and other stuff.

94. I have seen blisters on mens feet. They dont treat them well with medical creams.. so they end up in doctors offices.

95. I have done this before but not in 45 minutes!! 2 hours amd more relatives!!

96. We dont. i have forgotten my own fathers birthday.

97. Typical Male response. Women do this too... hmmmm were you a victim once??

98. We usually nail this question on the head.. its usally referred to you guys who dont get it!!

99. Top Gun, Young Riders, Die Hard!!

100. There is always a romance movie on.. which is far better than a stupid ball game.


So out of .. lets see 98 questions.. (you repeated your self once and skipped on number) you guys only have 1 to claim fame about!! Sorry but it looks like we are both equal here if not more!! GIRLS RULE.. BOYS DROOL!!!

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I'm SO surprised you found something that required correcting with that second post ... you proved to my satisfaction that besides enjoying giving your selfs gifts and being excellent blechers that girls are indeed dumberer, more redneck, have less personal hygiene and even worse spelling and grammar skills than boys. Congratulations. From now on, I'll never think of women in quite the same way ...

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It's clearly best to be a man because you get to boink women. This isn't rocket science. Get real; Who in their right mind would want to grab a hairy butt? Sheesh.


Oh and men don't go around with "Boy Power" slogans emblazoned all over. Too much sex on the brain.



Wherever you go there you are.

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Geez! Male or Female...Some people just have -way too much- spare time...


Hey, mine was a simple cut and paste from an old joke file. It was SC who took the time to answer all 100 (well OK 98) points.



Did you boys know that you should wear white socks and not colored socks while hiking.. cause the color from the dye can get into cuts or blisters and infect the area as white doesnt. DIDNT THINK SO!!


Ummmm, SC, since when did bacteria live in colored socks, but not in white socks? Bacteria causes infection, not dye. I think your statement is what many people refer to as an....OLD WIVE'S TALE! icon_wink.gif


[This message was edited by BrianSnat on June 26, 2003 at 09:30 PM.]

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In fairness, I have to post these (note there are only 40):


40 reasons why it's better to be a woman.


1.) You won't starve without a can opener.


2.) Your friends won't get drunk and hit on your sister.


3.) Jewelers and grocery stores won't rob you blind.


4.) Short skirts will always cure Unemployment.


5.) Male Pattern Baldness.


6.) You're 5 times less likely to kill yourself.


7.) "Heavy Lifting" isn't a necessity for employment on your resume.


8.) You'll never get a draft card.


9.) You can distract and entire room full of men just by reapplying lipstick.


10.) You smell better no matter what.


11.) When you fight, you fight to kill.


12.) You can cook your own food.


13.) You see the humor in war.


14.) You rule the bathroom.


15.) No matter how long it takes to get ready, guys will always wait for you.


16.) Sex means never having to finish the job.


17.) It's ok for you to marry for money.


18.) No one ever mistakes your chest for a bathmat.


19.) You'll never have more hair in your nose than on your head.


20.) You dont' consider urination a competitive sport.


21.) You don't consider tomato sauce to be a fashion statement.


22.) You'll always get served first in a hardware store.


23.) Men are optional.


24.) The Three Stooges don't live in your universe.


25.) You'll probably never have to change a lightbulb.


26.) You never feel compelled to scratch yourself in public.


27.) You can bend over in prison.


28.) You can walk down the street without mentally undressing everyone around you.


29.) You can always find a sucker to pump your gas for you.


30.) You can wear your sister's clothes without making a major lifestyle adjustment.


31.) Short girls are "petite". Short guys are "midgets".


32.) Grooms all look the same. Everyone only wants to see the Bride.


33.) No matter how ugly you are, you'll always be able to get laid.


34.) No matter whose place you stay at, you'll always get the bed.


35.) "Stagettes" are our little secret!


36.) Someday you'll be a rich widow.


37.) No matter what you do, you'll always be "daddy's little girl" (this is not sexual, you perverts).


38.) You don't consider farting to be the epitome of humor.


39.) You secretly admire Lorena Bobbitt.


40.) Your idea of a good movie doesn't need "Debbie does..." in the title.


"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day" - Dave Barry

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