Events

[+Team FIREBOY]

We have an event scheduled in Sept. Someone who has been going to other events has stated that they will attend. Here is the rub, this someone has not been a welcome guest at recent events here. This someone spoils events by a lot of rude behavior, the loud and obnoxious "friends" they bring and not participating in the spirit of the event games by having a MUST WIN OR DIE attitude. Others have commented about this behavior, it's just not us. What do you suggest we do to ensure a good time is had by all at the event? We can't dis-invite anyone. We just couldn't tell that someone not to come. Should we maybe email the someone and ask the someone to behave?

Please any suggestions, other than just plain ole mean ones, will be considered.

[+rdaines]

I've always wanted to try this, I say put them in charge of something. Nothing yucky like Porta Pottie duty but something that will occupy some of their time and make them feel like the success of the even is (in part) due to their performance. If they royally screw up then you have grounds to dis-invite them.

Edited August 11, 2007 by rdaines

[+BlueDeuce]

I've always wanted to try this, I say put them in charge of something.

 

Exactly what I was going to say!

 

When my five year old is bouncing off the walls I don't make him sit in a chair I give him something to do! If this person is loud and boisterous put him in charge of the loud and boisterous part of the event. Potato sack races, dash to the cache race, whatever. Sounds to me like this person likes to draw attention to themselves, so give it to him! Just make it the positive kind.

 

You could also have games that have people go..somewhere else. That make give you a break for a while.

 

Keep in mind we all have our delicate sensibilities make sure yours isn't turning you into an old fogy.

 

Another thing might be hold really big events and stay on the other side away from them.

 

Or hold events in a library, (shhhh!)

Edited August 11, 2007 by BlueDeuce

[+GEO.JOE]

If this it your event and you do not want someone there then you can tell them not to come, or you can contact them and set rules of behavior and if they cross the line then you can ask them to leave. I have no problem doing this so it is easy for me (I get to be the one to tell step-mothers they are not welcome in the birthing room, or tell drunk relatives to straighten up or leave at weddings etc.) but I understand that it is difficult for others. If there is someone in the group that is able to do that ask them to contact him. There is always security in numbers so you could get several folks to notify him about the problems. Is there someone that is friends with him that is reasonable? If so contact the friend and have the friend talk to him. I find it best to not be around people that rub me the wrong way but if he is going to attend and no one tells him he is a problem then you will need to occupy his time, so play to his personality and plan a very challenging competitive activity that will occupy his time and anyone else that likes competition. It will give them something to do and they will likely enjoy the event and everyone that is free of them for that time will enjoy it as well.

 

Joe

[+GEO.JOE]

Well, I just looked at the event and I see it is a Challenge, so it is the type of event that brings out the competitive side of folks and now the most competitive person is coming. Now you have two choices confront him about the behavior or rig the challenge so that everyone beats him bad and humiliates him so much that he never comes to another challenge

[+requiscat]

Please any suggestions, other than just plain ole mean ones, will be considered.

 

Well that's no fun! A little valium in their drink can go a long way!

[+Kit Fox]

Well, I just looked at the event and I see it is a Challenge, so it is the type of event that brings out the competitive side of folks and now the most competitive person is coming. Now you have two choices confront him about the behavior or rig the challenge so that everyone beats him bad and humiliates him so much that he never comes to another challenge

 

Brilliant idea!

 

Since the offender is not popular with other cachers, i'm sure they would love to "get in on the prank."

[+Team FIREBOY]

Thanks for the suggestions. The reason that this is a challenge is not only that we had fun doing this sort of event before, but we get to set the rules. Don't like our rules, don't play. Rules will be posted at the event and given in their game packets. What others and us have interpreted as cheating at other event games will not bloody happen at this event. Disqualification if anybody is found to be cheating. We think everybody should have a fair chance to play along and win.

 

Trust me we are not "old fogies", our parents are. (turn down that music now will you boy)

[+Team GeoBlast]

I've always wanted to try this, I say put them in charge of something. Nothing yucky like Porta Pottie duty but something that will occupy some of their time and make them feel like the success of the even is (in part) due to their performance. If they royally screw up then you have grounds to dis-invite them.

 

I'm going to put in another vote for inclusion not exclusion. If you can't think of anything, invent something. But directing the energy in a positive way is going to be the key. I mean no offense by this but I encourage you to reread your original post for a moment, especially part that mentions "the spirit" of the event. I know you were struggling with this or you would have not asked the question here, but consider the "the spirit" of telling someone that they are not welcome.

Edited August 11, 2007 by Team GeoBlast

[Mag Magician]

Now, my 2 cents (CDN, 1.6 cents US ). I just have to agree with the replies suggesting inclusion. Raising kids is a wonderful life learning curve, and it's through that you learn the subtleties of misdirection of aggression. It sounds to me that your preferably uninvited guest falls into the bully, or underachiever category, and needs his/her attention drawn to something constructive. Create a position of apparent authority, and invite them to be a party to the shenanigans. You just never know, he/she could turn into a respectable human being afterwards .

Edited August 11, 2007 by Team Magic

[Mag Magician]

P.S. If they have a supposed position of authority, they will tend to control their rowdy friends at the same time.

[+Team FIREBOY]

Yes, Geoblast I have thought of just speaking with this someone. In fact, I have spoke to one of the someones and gently spoke of behavior not looked upon in a good light by us or others at another event. I know that this someone understands this and has apologized for the behavior. Problem is that this someone comes with other someones who don't or can't understand and the original someone can't control them. I know this sounds weird, but I am trying to not use any names here. No reason to trash these "someones" in a world wide forum.

 

I guess that we are just frustrated. We really like the suggestion to include them in the planning and execution of the event. We are thinking that this will be our best approach.

[+Team Cotati]

Just tell this person that are not welcome and that if they show up that they will be asked to leave. Failing that, tell him that he will be escorted "out the door" as it were. Failing that I would call the cops just as I would if some guest at any other 'party' of mine became unruly and refused to behave them selves.

 

No big deal.

[+Team GeoBlast]

Just tell this person that are not welcome and that if they show up that they will be asked to leave.

 

Couldn't disagree with this more. Even if you can get past how completely inhuman doing something like this is, consider that Geocaching itself has a foundation in trust. Do you want someone that you've just treated this way visiting your caches?

[+Team Cotati]

Just tell this person that are not welcome and that if they show up that they will be asked to leave.

 

Couldn't disagree with this more. Even if you can get past how completely inhuman doing something like this is, consider that Geocaching itself has a foundation in trust. Do you want someone that you've just treated this way visiting your caches?

 

Grow a set.

[+Mopar]

Just tell this person that are not welcome and that if they show up that they will be asked to leave.

 

Couldn't disagree with this more. Even if you can get past how completely inhuman doing something like this is, consider that Geocaching itself has a foundation in trust. Do you want someone that you've just treated this way visiting your caches?

 

Grow a set.

You can have a set the size of weather balloons, but if you want to exclude certain people from your event dont expect to list it on geocaching.com:

Event caches are gatherings that are open to all geocachers and which are organized by geocachers.

http://www.geocaching.com/about/guidelines.aspx#event

[+BlueDeuce]

You can have a set the size of weather balloons, but if you want to exclude certain people from your event don't expect to list it on geocaching.com:

 

Yes, that cursed guideline thing rears it's ugly head once again.

 

I like people just fine. As long as I don't have to deal with them.

[+jtbrady01]

I would say to do something to get them lost in the woods for a while. But, then again with a GPS they would find their way out. Too bad you couldn't post some bogus coordinates for him for the event.

[+Team GeoBlast]

Just tell this person that are not welcome and that if they show up that they will be asked to leave.

 

Couldn't disagree with this more. Even if you can get past how completely inhuman doing something like this is, consider that Geocaching itself has a foundation in trust. Do you want someone that you've just treated this way visiting your caches?

 

Grow a set.

 

[+Team GeoBlast]

Yes, Geoblast I have thought of just speaking with this someone. In fact, I have spoke to one of the someones and gently spoke of behavior not looked upon in a good light by us or others at another event. I know that this someone understands this and has apologized for the behavior. Problem is that this someone comes with other someones who don't or can't understand and the original someone can't control them. I know this sounds weird, but I am trying to not use any names here. No reason to trash these "someones" in a world wide forum.

 

I guess that we are just frustrated. We really like the suggestion to include them in the planning and execution of the event. We are thinking that this will be our best approach.

 

I commend you for asking for ideas. It's got to a tough situation to be in. I'm sure it is making more than one person reading it feel fortunate that they don't have to deal with something like that at their events.

[johnnnyo]

To avoid a big scene, just pull the person aside and explain the situation to him or her. If he or she responds negatively then ask that person to leave. Maybe he or she doesn't know the problem even exists. If he or she doesn't leave then its time to kick some butt. A good old fashion blanket party usually changes peoples attitudes.