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The All New Groundspeak Uk - Call My Bluff!


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Swap Fever

 

A form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder thought to be transmitted by the bite of a Travel Bug. Early symptoms include the need to eat McD Happy Meals and lurking in the party bag aisle of supermarkets. As the malady develops down two distinctive pathways are observed: the Upper and the Downer.

 

Uppers are easily identified by their large caching bags which barely contain their contents of stuffed animals, Memory Map CDs and bottles of malt Whisky. On the other hand Downers are easily identified by their large caching bags which barely contain their contents of McD give aways, the CD in last weeks Daily Mail, sea shells and small stones.

 

The victims of Swap Fever can often be heard to mutter if it's in the cache it's fair game. In its most extreme form sufferers have even been known to swap their goodies for complete caches. If you suspect that yourself or someone you know is suffering from Swap Fever, try this short quiz:

  • most of our cupboards are filled with trinkets
  • I often try to use GeoCoins as real money
  • whenever I go shopping I mostly buy swaps
  • I will buy a newspaper/magazine if it has free give aways
  • last Christmas we didn't have turkey as I made everyone have a Happy Meal
  • the main feature I look for in a car is boot/back seat storage capacity
  • if it's in the cache container its up for swapping
  • I have photographs of my swap collection
  • I have posted photographs of my swaps
  • my caching avatar is a photograph of my swap collection
  • there is no such thing as an overstuffed cache
  • if I won the lottery I'd be straight down to Woolworth's

If you can answer yes to four or more questions then you may be suffering from Swap Fever, do not despair, with proper treatment a cure is possible. As a first step try limiting yourself to microcaches - its hard stuffing a teddy into a 35mm film canister. :rolleyes:

Swap Fever = n.; disease contracted by partner-sharing "swingers"

You need to stay off the Terrain 5 caches Torry, especially anything with an rappelling-yes.gif attribute. By the way how did you score on the quiz?

 

tarzan.gif

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Not sure how well these translate across the pond ... but here's some "golden oldies" for ya -

 

Geocaching Terms You Don't Find In The Handbook

 

(Or Maybe Not At All)

 

By Torry Stiles, aka Torry

EVENT CACHE = Gathering of geocachers

 

EVENT CASH = Passing the hat to pay for an Event Cache

 

HATLESS CACHER = What you get when you don't watch who's passing the hat

 

CACHE RATING = Description given on cache pages to help cachers determine the difficulty of caches

 

CACHESTRATING = When your wife insists you not go caching

 

CACHE BAIT = Hollow logs near trails that are just begging to be fed Tupperware

 

VIRTUAL THIEVERY = Using PhotoShop or Google to fake a claim on a virtual cache

 

VIRTUALOSITY = Granting a find on a virtual cache even though you believe the finder never got close.

 

MISSDIRECTION = The nine-year-old girl who points out the cache location while the grown-ups are still checking their PDAs

 

CACHE STICK = A geocacher's staff

 

CACHE TICK = Unwanted hitchhiker from grassy areas

 

CACHE SHTICK = Boring one's coworkers by talking of nothing but caching

 

GARMEANDERING = Act of following the "GO TO" arrow on your little yellow eTrex.; see also: eTREXERCISE

 

eTREXERCISE = All the extra walking you do when all you've got is the little yellow booger

 

BUGHO = Someone who revisits caches just to snag the travel bugs

 

BUGWARDEN = Someone who gets a travel bug and doesn't want to set it free again

 

BUGJUNKIE = Someone who would drive over their own mother for a travel bug

 

BUGSNIFFER = Cacher who hits the cache just in time to grab the travel bug you've been chasing for months.

 

MAGELLICIDE = Walking off a cliff while following the map on your GPS instead of the trail

 

GARMIN DISTRICT = Corner of the Cache Event decorated with "Magellan Sucks" posters

 

MAGELLAND = The other corner

 

POOCACHE = What you sometimes find when you reach into the hollow log without looking first

 

CACHE HASH = The small bits of leaves, broken toys, snail shells, bug bodies and other detritus found at the bottom of a well-visited cache

 

CACHE DRAWER = Where a cacher keeps his supply of pencils, notebooks, plastic bugs, sock puppets, McToys, film cans and other caching supplies

 

CACHE DRAWERS = Items occasionally left in caches at entrances to nudist colonies.

 

CACHE NUTS = Found in above

 

CASHEW NUTS = A yummy, high protein snack

 

CACHE U-NUTS = Used with cache U-bolts to secure caches to poles

 

JOHNNY CASH = Famous country/western singer

 

JOHNNY CACHE = See: muggled, disgusting mess

 

CACHE RELIEF = A handy tree away from the cache and fellow cachers

 

CACHE CASH RELIEF = Finding change for the meter in the micro when all you have left is bills

 

CACHERAM = Mythical source of all Hindu and Buddhist related virtual caches

 

CACHE POTATO = Cacher who spends hours on the computer instead of caching.

 

WAYPOINT = Marked location

 

WAYPINT = Beer at marked location

 

WAYPAINT = Used to make the "X" for the "'X' marks the spot."

 

WAYPUNT = The act of kicking ground cover and anything handy when you can't find the cache at "Ground Zero."

 

GROUND ZERO = The point at which you GPSr claims you should find the cache.

 

GROUCH ZERO = The point at which you curse the GPSr that has you waist deep in a lake.

 

ZERO GROUND = The point at which you learn to swim.

 

GEOCRASHING = Crossing private property to get to a cache.

 

GEOTHRASHING = Act of flailing through the bushes looking for matchbox containers

 

GEOTRASHING = Badmouthing other cache hiders

 

CACHEGUERILLA = One who places a cache anywhere regardless of caching etiquette, rules or proper procedure.

 

GUERILLACACHE = One placed in defiance of rules, just begging to be archived.

 

CACHE GRILLER = Ill-placed micro at a cookout

 

AMMOPHELES = Type of mosquito found living near traditional caches.

 

SKEETER-DEETER = Expert in bug repellent

 

GEO METRO = Inexpensive automobile

 

GEO-METRO = One whose caching activities are limited to urban areas

 

GEO PRISM = Inexpensive car that is my current ride.

 

GEO-PRISON = Cache containing a travel bug that is in a nearly inaccessible location

 

LOGARITHMS = Notes left by poetic cachers

 

CACHE WINE = After-caching libation for adults

 

CACHE WHINE = After-caching laments for all

 

LOGJAM = What occurs when the cache owner fails to replace the cache log.

 

McBEEF = Complaint about the placement of Happy Meal toys in caches.

 

McCACHE = Just like a thousand others found all over the world hidden the same way with the same kind of stuff inside.

 

BRITCHERS = New pants on a hot day

 

BURRITCHERS = Burr-covered pants

 

LEGGROOM = The act off brushing the burrs off one's burritchers

 

DAMBURR = The one you missed

 

BURRDRIFT = The pile of fluff in the Leggroom area.

 

ZIPBLOCK = The bad spot on a cheap baggie that keeps it from sealing properly.

 

CACHE FLUFFER = someone who feels obligated to go through a crowded Tupperware container leaving it impossible to close the lid

 

CAMMO BOX = Cache container hidden in deep woods under three feet of sticks and leaves and another two feet of snow... see also, DNF

 

FILM CAN = Popular micro-cache container

 

CAN FILM = Layer of goo on top of week-old opened soda pop grabbed by mistake in dark garage

 

CACHE COMMANDO = Cacher who seeks to rescue lost, damaged or muggled caches

 

COMMANDO CACHER = One who caches without undergarments

 

GORP = Good Ol' Raisins and Peanuts: A popular nutritious snack

 

DORP = Dumb Ol' Raisins and Peanuts: GORP after three days on the trail.

 

VORP = Very Old Raisins and Peanuts: GORP after three weeks in the bottom of your pack

 

ORP = Sound made after eating VORP

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Badger-Mongoose

 

Two headed stripy mammal, native to the northern Welsh Marches where its nocturnal habits are well known. Prefers to sleep on grass verges. Rarely observed in the open it prefers to rummage around under hedges and bushes muttering "its the numbers that matter". Diet consists of bacon butties and mugs of tea. Often found lurking in chat rooms. The Badger-Mongoose is rumoured to be the result of a freak accident in the laboratory of Dr Frankenblorenge although in a recent statement Dr Frankenblorenge denied any involvement and she suggested that the Badger-Mongoose resulted from the spontaneous reaction between a soft toy and the primordial soup at the bottom of a tupperware box hidden deep in the Welsh Mountains. <_<

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Cache potato = silly 'white guy' dance performed upon discovering cache

 

Cache potato = type of cacher who adores Park-and-grab lightpole caches, going to events that include food, and spending 20 hours a day on the forums talking and complaining about geocaching.

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