Geocaching and Friends

[+Squirrel N Turtle]

We met a couple people last September and we became fast 'friends'. We would hang out 1 weekend a month or so and talk online.

My husband (Turtle) and I have been married for 9.5 years and we have had our ups and downs. Well We found Geocaching in May and we quickly became addicted. (300 caches in 4 months) not too much but not to bad either. It has helped us by having a hobby together, long walks where we talk and we have reinforced our relationship.

We both have also lost weight and tend to eat healthier since we take trail mix as a snack and drink water more and more.

Well this couple we met in September came out to us and said that we are selfish for Geocaching together instead of going to their house every day. The said If we have time to Geocache we should use that "free time" to go over to their place more. Since we started Geocaching we had not slowed our weekend together or online conversations.

We were shocked then insulted. We also learned they were not good friends in the first place.

 

Sorry we were floored. Wanted to share with others and see if we are wrong in feeling insulted. Dangit. We love Geocaching!

 

Opinions are welcome

[GOF and Bacall]

Every couple, regardless of how long they have been together, needs time alone together, if you can pardon the oxymoron. Gently explain to the other couple that caching is that time for you and your husband. Time away from the rest of the world when it is just you two.

[+Squirrel N Turtle]

Every couple, regardless of how long they have been together, needs time alone together, if you can pardon the oxymoron. Gently explain to the other couple that caching is that time for you and your husband. Time away from the rest of the world when it is just you two.

 

We tried. We even invited them along with us and they got "w"itchy.

Oh well Hubby will always come first (until we have kids)

[GOF and Bacall]

I'm sorry to hear it went badly. It seems rather possessive on their part. It may be time to expand your circle of friends.

[+coralteach]

Every couple, regardless of how long they have been together, needs time alone together, if you can pardon the oxymoron. Gently explain to the other couple that caching is that time for you and your husband. Time away from the rest of the world when it is just you two.

 

We tried. We even invited them along with us and they got "w"itchy.

Oh well Hubby will always come first (until we have kids)

 

I went to Geowoodstock this year and stayed with a friend. I even told him he didn't have to go and I would rent my own car. Anyway, it was obvious he didn't want to be there, so we left early, I didn't get to do the triad because that was out of the question to ask (too far), and we didn't make it to Groundspeak HQ because we had to be on time for dinner with his friend (who asked us to stop on the way to get cigs, so obviously wasn't that much in a hurry). It put a dent in our friendship. I will not be asking him to go geocaching again, and if I do go try the triad, it will be on my own, and I will stay at a hotel. Most of my friends regard me with bemusement. Some want to try it, and most are happy I'm doing it, but so far, no real converts. I found 10 today by the way. I went with my dog and we had a great time.

[+dakboy]

Well this couple we met in September came out to us and said that we are selfish for Geocaching together instead of going to their house every day. The said If we have time to Geocache we should use that "free time" to go over to their place more. Since we started Geocaching we had not slowed our weekend together or online conversations.

We were shocked then insulted. We also learned they were not good friends in the first place.

My opinion? It's not worth trying to be "friends" with them, as they clearly aren't reciprocating. Such a relationship sounds unhealthy at best.

[+RokMartian]

I've been married for over 20 years now, and we both consider each other as our best friend. My best friend takes priority over anyone else.

 

Kill 'em with kindness - dedicate one evening a month for them to come over, have dinner, game night etc. Bring up all the great journeys you both have discovered together and regale them with that highly amusing fight to get that lamp post skirt up to get that elusive micro. My guess, is that they will last 2 months.

 

Take care - there seems to be a lot more real friends on these boards then out in the wild.

 

Tim P

[+lachupa]

This sounds creepy and possessive. Maybe they're jealous that you have lost weight and are eating better. Friends can lift you up but if you're not careful who you hang out with they can also tear you down.

[MisterEFQ]

Going to thier house EVERY day? Wow.

 

I wouldnt want to see the same two friends everyday. Sounds like they are a bit controlling.

[+Snoogans]

To the OP,

 

Ewww. Those people are clingy and high maintenance. BEWARE.

 

If they were on my island, they would be voted off.

 

Take care - there seems to be a lot more real friends on these boards then out in the wild.

Yep.

 

I posted my route to GW8 on this board and I got more than a dozen completely unexpected offers of places to stay.

 

I have real good friends all over the country and the world because of geocaching. Heck, I see some geocachers as much or more often than I see family members. Half of the people at my wedding were geocachers.

 

GeoWoodstock is really like a family reunion every year for me and many, many others. Like Whimseyguy says, "Friends are the family we choose."

[+Don_J]

I'm sorry to hear it went badly. It seems rather possessive on their part. It may be time to expand your circle of friends.

 

Agree. You need to cut them loose now, before you find them in your kitchen boiling rabbits.

[+Chokecherry]

Keep in mind that this is a biased post based on my own experiences.

 

Anytime I'm coupled with anyone we don't do "couple friends." I have my friends, they have their friends, we have mutual friends etc. Some of those friends happen to be couples who may know one or both of the partners... but we don't make a mission to do couple time with other couples. I have a relationship with my partner. I don't need to maintain a couple to couple relationship as well.

 

That being said, if any of my friends were upset because I was participating in a hobby (which is a healthy hobby) with my partner instead of hanging out with them I would promptly write them out of my life in all likelihood. I'm not going to sit there and try to make them happy because really what do I gain from it? A lot of misery because unless the world revolves around them they will never be happy. And I probably wouldn't invite them along after they complained because I don't want them sucking the fun out of my hobby.

 

I'll invite people along before they complain about me doing it but not after.

[+The Chaos Crew]

Oh I hate clingy friends!

 

I mean it’s flattering that they like your company so much, I suppose, but they have no right to be dictating what you do in your spare time!

 

I’d be starting to inch away from these two, if I were you….

[hoosier guy]

Sounds like their "friendship" could be toxic.

[+the family bu]

Similar thing happened to me - was friends with some neighbours and over the summer last year when I wasnt working we spent lots of time together. Then when I got a job and worked 65 hrs a week and had to find time for my family and geocaching - they spat the dummy out and accused me of 'using' them. They expected me to give up my family time and geocaching time to spend with them drinking alcohol at their house - NO SORRY i dont think so. We are no longer friends and have moved away from the area.