+kewfriend Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 (edited) It was the night before Christmas and three wise men were ticked up in front of their screens grumbling. It was Lacto that spoke first: "Typical - another clever clogs with a series of twenty micro caches that he wants approving before midnight tonight - cant he get a life?" "I know", sighed Eck, "Just this morning I noticed yet another Christmas cache in an unapproved Forestry Fir Tree Commision plantation. Next thing they'll be doing is cutting down the trees as if they owned them" Dec looked up from his PostMan Pat jigsaw. "Its dry stone walls again - when will they ever learn to recognise a heap of stones for what it is!!? "Its time to stop this approval business once and for all", muttered Lacto as he pressed send on his email consigning the series of Mircos to the dusbin of caching. The three grumbling elves started to reminisce. Back in the old days when caches were caches and GPSs were GPSs, we didnt have any of this nonsense about yet another failed magnetic key holder. In them days we hiked good and proper for twenty leagues before we could even get near the cache. "Tis true tis true", muttered the three elves as yet another Christmas cache approval bit the dust. Just then there was the tell-tale 'ding dong' on Lacto's new iphone. "Not another Christmas Cache", shrieked Dec and he grabbed the iphone. "Dont they realise its Christmas!!! NO MORE CACHES - no not one not even a tinsy winsy little one. Its got to stop!!!". "Eee by gum", said Eck as he went off to get another glass of brown ale. The iphone got tossed into the corner but it must have landed oddly because it bgan to chirp "God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen, let nothing ye disturb .......". "Not that as well" sighed Dec as he groped in the corner for the touchscreen. "Ding Dong" went the phone again. "same silly bugger" said Lacto - I'll take the battery out of the phone". "You cant" said Eck and he took another swig of ale. "Give it here" said Dec - "Its from someone called FC - wants to set a Mega Mega cache for every little boy and girl in the country." "Do-gooders" muttered Eck. "No bl**dy way" said Lacto. Just then there was a tap on the garden door. "Tell him I've sent him an email saying NO MORE CACHES", said Lacto as he reached for his magazine of Top Ten Flowerpots. Eck opened the garden door and an icy blast rushed across the room. On the doorstep was a little four year old girl. "Can I come in?" she asked. "NO" all three shouted. "You can say what you need to say and scarper off home". "I've just had an email from this man FC", she said. "Call the police then", said Lacto. "He needs to be locked up". "No no no" cried the little girl, - "you see he says he emailed you about a MEGA MEGA CACHE full of toys and you said no.". "Humbug" grumbled Dec. "Please please approve it", came another little voice. It was her even smaller brother. "Daddy says Father Christmas always puts his toys in a cache first then lets the reindeer find them with their GPS, before he gallops off across the sky". "Humbug" snarled Eck. "You dont believe that nonsense do you" quipped Lacto. At that moment the dark sky was suddenly lit up and a voice from the heavens bellowed: "Approve that bl**dy cache or you wont be getting nowt in your stocking tonight". "Humbug" bellowed Lacto back - but then he stopped. "Why not", he thought - "Its Christmas Eve", and he reached for his iphone. "Oh thank you thank you thank you said the children". "About bl**dy time too" said the voice from the sky, "My reindeer have only got an hour or so for the FTF". And so FC got his cache, the toys got hidden, the reindeer got their FTF and all the kiddies got their prezzies. Edited December 24, 2007 by kewfriend Quote Link to comment
+Eckington Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 ROFL Merry Christmas everyone, and a Caching Good Year Quote Link to comment
Lactodorum Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 I've just sprayed my screen with cider!! Absobloodylutely brilliant. Many thanks and a very merry Xmas to all. Quote Link to comment
+Haggis Hunter Posted December 24, 2007 Share Posted December 24, 2007 Nice one Ian, but I can't help thinking that there is more to this one than meets the eye? Quote Link to comment
+currykev Posted December 25, 2007 Share Posted December 25, 2007 A truly great Christmas story,one which I'm sure Mr Spielberg would love to film for future generations. Thanks for giving me a BIG this Xmas evening. Quote Link to comment
Five Stars Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 worth a second read! Quote Link to comment
+Mr'D Posted December 28, 2007 Share Posted December 28, 2007 Sheesh.... yet another un-discovered novelist! Very good Ian. Quote Link to comment
+Madyokel Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Superb.. And Lacto on the cider at 7.11am as well radical!!!! Quote Link to comment
Deceangi Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Superb.. And Lacto on the cider at 7.11am as well radical!!!! Ermm I know my colleagues both like a drink or 3 , but I can assure you that nether starts drinking at 07:11 in the morning [10:00 is another matter ] Lacto's post was made at 15:11 (3:11pm) . You need to change your board settings to GMT from the default ones [8 hours behind GMT] To do this, My Controls at the top of the page, Board Settings bottom of the menu left hand side of page. Quote Link to comment
Lactodorum Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Ermm I know my colleagues both like a drink or 3 , but I can assure you that nether starts drinking at 07:11 in the morning You've let everyone into our little secret now! Quote Link to comment
+little-miss-naughty Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 fab story will be waiting for the next chapter..........lol hope everyone had a fab xmas an an even better new year to come cheers (clink) lmn Quote Link to comment
+Eckington Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Superb.. And Lacto on the cider at 7.11am as well radical!!!! Ermm I know my colleagues both like a drink or 3 , but I can assure you that nether starts drinking at 07:11 in the morning ................Hmm! I have to admit that on Sunday 30th December 2007 I had quaffed at least 1 glass of Champagne by that time - but it was a special occasion Quote Link to comment
+The Cache Hoppers Posted January 8, 2008 Share Posted January 8, 2008 Superb.. And Lacto on the cider at 7.11am as well radical!!!! Ermm I know my colleagues both like a drink or 3 , but I can assure you that nether starts drinking at 07:11 in the morning ................Hmm! I have to admit that on Sunday 30th December 2007 I had quaffed at least 1 glass of Champagne by that time - but it was a special occasion Yes ... and I saw a very lovely photo of that special occasion - you all looked fab Quote Link to comment
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