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Top Ten Humor

Ridgerunner4
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Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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Searched the forum and didn't find any top ten lists!? Hey...what's up with that?

I thought a Lettermanesque series of top ten lists might add a little levity to this otherwise serious endeavor...

 

So, how about:

Top Ten Ways Finding a Spouse is Easier than Finding a Geocache

 

OR

 

Top Ten Famous Last Words of Geocachers

10. Stand very, very still.

9. I thought you said sunset was at 8:30p.m.

8. Okay...who has the batteries.

7. Whaddaya mean the waypoint coordinates are still back in the hotel room?!

6. That's a CREEK, not a RIVER.

5. Don't panic...I'm pretty sure I packed a snake-bite kit in here somewhere.

4. I thought they said this was a two star difficulty.

3. Honey, have you seen the kids lately???

2. Ohhh...hey, I just noticed that this is a VIRTUAL cache (click-click...BANG)

1. The arrow is pointing down this 50 foot cliff.

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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10. A prophylactic (unless it's chloroquine for malaria)

9. Gummy Worms (or any kind of worms, for that matter)

8. A dirty diaper

7. A Quarter-Pounder with Cheese

6. A "KC & the Sunshine Band" 8-track cassette

5. UXO (unexploded ordnance)

4. Instant oatmeal

3. Human body parts

2. Jimmy Hoffa

1. Your mother-in-law

Zuckerruebensirup

Zuckerruebensirup

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quote:
Originally posted by james f weisbeck kd7mxi terra utah, April 01, 2002 07:33 PM:

 

it's pronounced crick not creek guys

 

...about the guy who was canoeing all day long. When he finally came out of the river at the end of the day to set up his camp site, he bent over to pick up his canoe paddle...only to have his back lock up on him, with a crick so back that he couldn't stand up straight again.

 

Being all alone, without any help, he thought quickly, and used the paddle to support himself as he slowly moved hand over hand into an upright position.

 

In no time at all, he was up the paddle without a crick. icon_wink.gif

Zuckerruebensirup

Zuckerruebensirup

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quote:
Originally posted by james f weisbeck kd7mxi terra utah, April 01, 2002 07:33 PM:

 

it's pronounced crick not creek guys

 

...about the guy who was canoeing all day long. When he finally came out of the river at the end of the day to set up his camp site, he bent over to pick up his canoe paddle...only to have his back lock up on him, with a crick so back that he couldn't stand up straight again.

 

Being all alone, without any help, he thought quickly, and used the paddle to support himself as he slowly moved hand over hand into an upright position.

 

In no time at all, he was up the paddle without a crick. icon_wink.gif

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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10. The gold chocolate bar from Wonka's Factory.

9. Zu-zu's petals

8. The Hope Diamond (or any diamond for that matter)

7. Winning Powerball numbers (and the date they're good for)

6. Amelia Earhart

5. The Golden Fleece

4. All those missing Russian nukes?!

3. The sock that's always missing from the laundry

2. Osama Bin Ladin ($25 million reward)

1. Directions back to the car

RedwoodRed

RedwoodRed

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quote:
Originally posted by Ridgerunner4:

Okay, folks...help me out here. I'll start off.

 

10. At the corner table in the Cantina in Mos Eisley

 

9. The Lincoln Bedroom at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Max PDOP

Max PDOP

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Originally posted by Ridgerunner4:

 

2. Osama Bin Ladin ($25 million reward)

 

Hey! I stuffed Osama in an Ammo Can and fed him to a gator in "Stairway to Heaven cache". He's not worth 25 million, though; he's just a T-shirt.

Kodak's4

+Kodak's4

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quote:
Originally posted by RedwoodRed:

quote:
Originally posted by Ridgerunner4:

Okay, folks...help me out here. I'll start off.

 

10. At the corner table in the Cantina in Mos Eisley

 

9. The Lincoln Bedroom at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

 

Hey, you're excluding people. That's a Members Only cache already.

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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Okay...no one took the bait on my original post, so I'll jump in with both feet.

 

To keep this interactive, I'll start us off:

 

10. No high tech gadgets or expensive software required (unless you rely on one of those "roll-of-the-dice" computer dating programs)

 

9. Your mother knows a bunch of "nice girls," but she can't even spell "geocache."

 

8. With geocaching, you have to hit "the spot" every time (although I suspect some cachers "fake it")

 

Okay...your turn.

Huaso

Huaso

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quote:
Originally posted by Ridgerunner4:

 

8. With geocaching, you have to hit "the spot" every time (although I suspect some cachers "fake it")

 

Okay...your turn.

 

I guess that's the infamous g-eospot?

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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What?! No #7 yet.

 

Okay, hows about...

 

7. A potential spouse will let you know if they WANT to be found by YOU. A geocache just kinda sits there quietly (no body language, nonverbal cues, slaps-in-the-face, etc).

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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Top Ten Songs for Geocaching

10. "Bad Moon Rising" (J.C. Fogerty)

as performed by Creedance Clearwater Revival

 

Lyrics:

 

I see the bad moon arising.

I see trouble on the way.

I see earthquakes and lightnin'.

I see bad times today.

 

CHORUS:

Don't go around tonight,

Well, it's bound to take your life,

There's a bad moon on the rise.

 

I hear hurricanes ablowing.

I know the end is coming soon.

I fear rivers over flowing.

I hear the voice of rage and ruin.

 

CHORUS

All right!

 

Hope you got your things together.

Hope you are quite prepared to die.

Looks like we're in for nasty weather.

One eye is taken for an eye.

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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Here it is...the summary of our efforts.

 

10. The corner table of the Cantina in Mos Eisley

9. The Lincoln Bedroom at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

8. Mt. Evans, Colorado

7. The South Pole

6. Area 51

5. The basement of Fort Knox

4. The Restaurant at The End of the Universe

3. Space Station Alpha / Ten Forward

2. The Burmuda Triangle

 

Okay...so who has number 1??

 

(Thanks to everyone who contributed)

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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10. "Bad Moon Rising" (J.C. Fogerty)

as performed by Creedance Clearwater Revival

 

9. "Misery" (D. Priner)

as performed by Soul Asylum

 

Lyrics excerpt:

 

They say misery loves company.

We could start a company and make misery.

Frustrated Incorporated.

 

Note: Patrick McManus, the lauded humorist for Outdoor Life, classifies most outdoor activities (hunting, fishing, hiking, etc) as "a fine and pleasant misery," due to unanticipated weather conditions, untenable terrain situations, bugs and the people you go with. Several of my family's geocache adventures have fit the "fine & pleasant misery" category. If you haven't read Mr. McManus' book by the same title, I highly recommend it, especially if you are an outdoor enthusiast.

Ridgerunner4

Ridgerunner4

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Top Ten Songs for Geocaching

 

10. "Bad Moon Rising" (J.C. Fogerty)

as performed by Creedance Clearwater Revival

 

9. "Misery" (D. Priner)

as performed by Soul Asylum

 

8. "Dazed and Confused"

as performed by Led Zeppelin

 

My wife suggested the following song last night, and I could've kicked myself for missing it.

 

7. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (Bono)

as performed by U2

 

Lyrics excerpt:

I have run, I have crawled.

I have scaled these city walls

Only to be with you

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

 

...of course...it might be tied with the song "Where the Streets Have No Names"

iryshe

iryshe

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ARTIST: REM

TITLE: Stand

 

{Refrain}

Stand in the place where you live, now face north

Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before

Now stand in the place where you work, now face west

Think about the place where you live

Wonder why you haven't before

 

If you are confused check with the sun

Carry a compass to help you along

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around, so

 

{Refrain}

 

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around

If wishes were trees the trees would be falling

Listen to reason, the season is calling

 

{Refrain}

 

If wishes were trees the trees would be falling

Listen to reason, the reason is calling

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around, so

 

Stand, stand, now face north

Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before

Now stand, stand, now face west

Think about the place where you live

Wonder why you haven't

 

{Refrain}

 

Stand in the place where you are

Now face north

Stand in the place where you are

Now face west

Stand in the place where you are

Your feet are going to be on the ground

Now face north

Stand in the place where you are

Your head is there to move you around, so

Now face

So stand

 

'

georgeandmary

+georgeandmary

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quote:
Originally posted by Ridgerunner4:

Top Ten Songs for Geocaching

 

10. "Bad Moon Rising" (J.C. Fogerty)

as performed by Creedance Clearwater Revival

 

9. "Misery" (D. Priner)

as performed by Soul Asylum

 

8. "Dazed and Confused"

as performed by Led Zeppelin

 

My wife suggested the following song last night, and I could've kicked myself for missing it.

 

7. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" (Bono)

as performed by U2

 

6. "Streets of Bakersfield", Dwight Yokum and Buck Owens

 

Lyrics...

I came here looking for something..

I couldn't find anywhere else.

Now I'm not trying to hurt nobody.

I just want a chanch to be myself.

 

I spent on 1000 miles of ramblin.

I've worn blisters on my heels.

 

The basicly the song the beginning of the song.

 

george

GeoStars

GeoStars

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Lyrics:

 

And feelin' the way I do

Wouldn't last a mile

without you.

When I'm losin' the way

The things that you say

Take me there -

my destination

My destination

is by your side.

Right by your side.

 

And I - I've taken so long

I know.

Never had so far to go.

It's not where you can be.

It's what you can see

That takes you there -

your destination.

 

Your destination

It's here inside

Right here inside.

 

Of course it goes without saying that the *you* in question is the singer's GPS. icon_biggrin.gif

 

Hoosiermom - team leader of GeoStars

GeoStars

GeoStars

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Lyrics:

 

And feelin' the way I do

Wouldn't last a mile

without you.

When I'm losin' the way

The things that you say

Take me there -

my destination

My destination

is by your side.

Right by your side.

 

And I - I've taken so long

I know.

Never had so far to go.

It's not where you can be.

It's what you can see

That takes you there -

your destination.

 

Your destination

It's here inside

Right here inside.

 

Of course it goes without saying that the *you* in question is the singer's GPS. icon_biggrin.gif

 

Hoosiermom - team leader of GeoStars

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