1. They are guidelines, and some of them are not immutable. As has been explained, there are regional and cultural differences that local reviewers tend to be knowledgable about but some issues are in grey areas.
2. The reviewer could have simply refused to publish the cache. Then you would have been forced to go to appeals anyway (assuming, as a new cacher, you knew about the appeals process.) The reviewer HAS been helpful by saving you a step.
Wouldn't it be most helpful to say, "You know what, I don't know the rule, but I will look into it for you. Check your email and in a few days I will respond with the answer!"? I feel like that's what I would do if I were trying to be a helpful reviewer. Not that I know a single thing about reviewing. But, it just seems logical, no?
It is my understanding that your reviewer did not say "bye bye" but rather "As a volunteer reviewer, this is an ongoing learning process for me" and requested that you utilize the appeals process to get some clarity on the situation.