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I know this thread is 1 1/2 years old, but it's something we talk about on Waymarking. We visit Little Free Libraries all over the place, everywhere we travel. I've found some great reading material in those book exchanges! So yes, they really do get used! We leave fresh books in LFL when we travel (and magazines that are sent to me and I can't get cancelled!). There are stamps you can use that say something along the lines of Not for Sale, donated to a LFL. Visiting these libraries is one of my favorite things to do when I travel. I've really enjoyed browsing the books and leaving something I hope someone else will enjoy. That is so cool! I love the poker chip, too!

I would talk to the reviewer. Although his note talks about "for lack of maintenance", this is obviously boilerplate, and, I would assume, the phrase is not meant to apply specifically to this cache. In a sense, you disabled the cache because you were doing maintenance: you found a problem and were working on fixing it. Whether that was the reviewer's intent of not, it still seems excessively strict to penalize you for disabling the cache instead of archiving it. I'm pretty sure I've been seeing caches unarchived in cases like this regularly, although not frequently. So I have reason to suspect that at least my local reviewer is open to discussion about reviving a cache even though the strict letter of the law says he shouldn't. In my opinion, the rule about not unarchiving a cache is meant to avoid a CO that doesn't maintain his caches from continually letting his caches slip into archival and then pulling them back out at his convenience. I would hope that a CO with a good track record would get a break when the log seems to make a good case for the CO being forgetful rather than irresponsible.

Much Ado About Nothing Shakespeare homepage | Much Ado About Nothing | Entire play ACT I SCENE I. Before LEONATO'S house. Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a Messenger LEONATO I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon comes this night to Messina. Messenger He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him. LEONATO How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? Messenger But few of any sort, and none of name. LEONATO A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio. Messenger Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how. LEONATO He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. Messenger I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness. LEONATO Did he break out into tears? Messenger In great measure. LEONATO A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping! BEATRICE I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no? Messenger I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort. LEONATO What is he that you ask for, niece? HERO My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. Messenger O, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was. BEATRICE He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing. LEONATO Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Messenger He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. BEATRICE You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach. Messenger And a good soldier too, lady. BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord? Messenger A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues. BEATRICE It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing,--well, we are all mortal. LEONATO You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them. BEATRICE Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Messenger Is't possible? BEATRICE Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. Messenger I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. BEATRICE No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil? Messenger He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. BEATRICE O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a' be cured. Messenger I will hold friends with you, lady. BEATRICE Do, good friend. LEONATO You will never run mad, niece. BEATRICE No, not till a hot January. Messenger Don Pedro is approached. Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and BALTHASAR DON PEDRO Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it. LEONATO Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave. DON PEDRO You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your daughter. LEONATO Her mother hath many times told me so. BENEDICK Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? LEONATO Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. DON PEDRO You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an honourable father. BENEDICK If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you. BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living? BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. BEATRICE A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. BENEDICK God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face. BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were. BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's name; I have done. BEATRICE You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old. DON PEDRO That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. LEONATO If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn. To DON JOHN Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. DON JOHN I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. LEONATO Please it your grace lead on? DON PEDRO Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. Exeunt all except BENEDICK and CLAUDIO CLAUDIO Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato? BENEDICK I noted her not; but I looked on her. CLAUDIO Is she not a modest young lady? BENEDICK Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? CLAUDIO No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment. BENEDICK Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. CLAUDIO Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me truly how thou likest her. BENEDICK Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? CLAUDIO Can the world buy such a jewel? BENEDICK Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? CLAUDIO In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on. BENEDICK I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you? CLAUDIO I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. BENEDICK Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again? Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away Sundays. Look Don Pedro is returned to seek you. Re-enter DON PEDRO DON PEDRO What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's? BENEDICK I would your grace would constrain me to tell. DON PEDRO I charge thee on thy allegiance. BENEDICK You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man; I would have you think so; but, on my allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance. He is in love. With who? now that is your grace's part. Mark how short his answer is;--With Hero, Leonato's short daughter. CLAUDIO If this were so, so were it uttered. BENEDICK Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor 'twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.' CLAUDIO If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise. DON PEDRO Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy. CLAUDIO You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. DON PEDRO By my troth, I speak my thought. CLAUDIO And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. BENEDICK And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine. CLAUDIO That I love her, I feel. DON PEDRO That she is worthy, I know. BENEDICK That I neither feel how she should be loved nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake. DON PEDRO Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty. CLAUDIO And never could maintain his part but in the force of his will. BENEDICK That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor. DON PEDRO I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. BENEDICK With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid. DON PEDRO Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. BENEDICK If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder, and called Adam. DON PEDRO Well, as time shall try: 'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.' BENEDICK The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write 'Here is good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign 'Here you may see Benedick the married man.' CLAUDIO If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. DON PEDRO Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. BENEDICK I look for an earthquake too, then. DON PEDRO Well, you temporize with the hours. In the meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's: commend me to him and tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made great preparation. BENEDICK I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you-- CLAUDIO To the tuition of God: From my house, if I had it,-- DON PEDRO The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick. BENEDICK Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience: and so I leave you. Exit CLAUDIO My liege, your highness now may do me good. DON PEDRO My love is thine to teach: teach it but how, And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn Any hard lesson that may do thee good. CLAUDIO Hath Leonato any son, my lord? DON PEDRO No child but Hero; she's his only heir. Dost thou affect her, Claudio? CLAUDIO O, my lord, When you went onward on this ended action, I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye, That liked, but had a rougher task in hand Than to drive liking to the name of love: But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Come thronging soft and delicate desires, All prompting me how fair young Hero is, Saying, I liked her ere I went to wars. DON PEDRO Thou wilt be like a lover presently And tire the hearer with a book of words. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it, And I will break with her and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end That thou began'st to twist so fine a story? CLAUDIO How sweetly you do minister to love, That know love's grief by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sudden seem, I would have salved it with a longer treatise. DON PEDRO What need the bridge much broader than the flood? The fairest grant is the necessity. Look, what will serve is fit: 'tis once, thou lovest, And I will fit thee with the remedy. I know we shall have revelling to-night: I will assume thy part in some disguise And tell fair Hero I am Claudio, And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart And take her hearing prisoner with the force And strong encounter of my amorous tale: Then after to her father will I break; And the conclusion is, she shall be thine. In practise let us put it presently. Exeunt SCENE II. A room in LEONATO's house. Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, meeting LEONATO How now, brother! Where is my cousin, your son? hath he provided this music? ANTONIO He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you yet dreamt not of. LEONATO Are they good? ANTONIO As the event stamps them: but they have a good cover; they show well outward. The prince and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine: the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance: and if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top and instantly break with you of it. LEONATO Hath the fellow any wit that told you this? ANTONIO A good sharp fellow: I will send for him; and question him yourself. LEONATO No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it. Enter Attendants Cousins, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time. Exeunt SCENE III. The same. Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE CONRADE What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad? DON JOHN There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit. CONRADE You should hear reason. DON JOHN And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it? CONRADE If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance. DON JOHN I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art, born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and claw no man in his humour. CONRADE Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. DON JOHN I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me. CONRADE Can you make no use of your discontent? DON JOHN I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? Enter BORACHIO What news, Borachio? BORACHIO I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage. DON JOHN Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness? BORACHIO Marry, it is your brother's right hand. DON JOHN Who? the most exquisite Claudio? BORACHIO Even he. DON JOHN A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he? BORACHIO Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato. DON JOHN A very forward March-chick! How came you to this? BORACHIO Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio. DON JOHN Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me? CONRADE To the death, my lord. DON JOHN Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go prove what's to be done? BORACHIO We'll wait upon your lordship. Exeunt ACT II SCENE I. A hall in LEONATO'S house. Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and others LEONATO Was not Count John here at supper? ANTONIO I saw him not. BEATRICE How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am heart-burned an hour after. HERO He is of a very melancholy disposition. BEATRICE He were an excellent man that were made just in the midway between him and Benedick: the one is too like an image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling. LEONATO Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in Signior Benedick's face,-- BEATRICE With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world, if a' could get her good-will. LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. ANTONIO In faith, she's too curst. BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending that way; for it is said, 'God sends a curst cow short horns;' but to a cow too curst he sends none. LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns. BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen. LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard. BEATRICE What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell. LEONATO Well, then, go you into hell? BEATRICE No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say 'Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids:' so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long. ANTONIO [To HERO] Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your father. BEATRICE Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy and say 'Father, as it please you.' But yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and say 'Father, as it please me.' LEONATO Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband. BEATRICE Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a pierce of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren; and, truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred. LEONATO Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer. BEATRICE The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him there is measure in every thing and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave. LEONATO Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. BEATRICE I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight. LEONATO The revellers are entering, brother: make good room. All put on their masks Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR, DON JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA and others, masked DON PEDRO Lady, will you walk about with your friend? HERO So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away. DON PEDRO With me in your company? HERO I may say so, when I please. DON PEDRO And when please you to say so? HERO When I like your favour; for God defend the lute should be like the case! DON PEDRO My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove. HERO Why, then, your visor should be thatched. DON PEDRO Speak low, if you speak love. Drawing her aside BALTHASAR Well, I would you did like me. MARGARET So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many ill-qualities. BALTHASAR Which is one? MARGARET I say my prayers aloud. BALTHASAR I love you the better: the hearers may cry, Amen. MARGARET God match me with a good dancer! BALTHASAR Amen. MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done! Answer, clerk. BALTHASAR No more words: the clerk is answered. URSULA I know you well enough; you are Signior Antonio. ANTONIO At a word, I am not. URSULA I know you by the waggling of your head. ANTONIO To tell you true, I counterfeit him. URSULA You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man. Here's his dry hand up and down: you are he, you are he. ANTONIO At a word, I am not. URSULA Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end. BEATRICE Will you not tell me who told you so? BENEDICK No, you shall pardon me. BEATRICE Nor will you not tell me who you are? BENEDICK Not now. BEATRICE That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the 'Hundred Merry Tales:'--well this was Signior Benedick that said so. BENEDICK What's he? BEATRICE I am sure you know him well enough. BENEDICK Not I, believe me. BEATRICE Did he never make you laugh? BENEDICK I pray you, what is he? BEATRICE Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: none but libertines delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany; for he both pleases men and angers them, and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet: I would he had boarded me. BENEDICK When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say. BEATRICE Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which, peradventure not marked or not laughed at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night. Music We must follow the leaders. BENEDICK In every good thing. BEATRICE Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning. Dance. Then exeunt all except DON JOHN, BORACHIO, and CLAUDIO DON JOHN Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The ladies follow her and but one visor remains. BORACHIO And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing. DON JOHN Are not you Signior Benedick? CLAUDIO You know me well; I am he. DON JOHN Signior, you are very near my brother in his love: he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him from her: she is no equal for his birth: you may do the part of an honest man in it. CLAUDIO How know you he loves her? DON JOHN I heard him swear his affection. BORACHIO So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night. DON JOHN Come, let us to the banquet. Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO CLAUDIO Thus answer I in the name of Benedick, But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. 'Tis certain so; the prince wooes for himself. Friendship is constant in all other things Save in the office and affairs of love: Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues; Let every eye negotiate for itself And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. This is an accident of hourly proof, Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero! Re-enter BENEDICK BENEDICK Count Claudio? CLAUDIO Yea, the same. BENEDICK Come, will you go with me? CLAUDIO Whither? BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county. What fashion will you wear the garland of? about your neck, like an usurer's chain? or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero. CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her. BENEDICK Why, that's spoken like an honest drovier: so they sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would have served you thus? CLAUDIO I pray you, leave me. BENEDICK Ho! now you strike like the blind man: 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. CLAUDIO If it will not be, I'll leave you. Exit BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl! now will he creep into sedges. But that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The prince's fool! Ha? It may be I go under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong; I am not so reputed: it is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice that puts the world into her person and so gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may. Re-enter DON PEDRO DON PEDRO Now, signior, where's the count? did you see him? BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren: I told him, and I think I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow-tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped. DON PEDRO To be whipped! What's his fault? BENEDICK The flat transgression of a schoolboy, who, being overjoyed with finding a birds' nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it. DON PEDRO Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer. BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself, and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his birds' nest. DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner. BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly. DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you: the gentleman that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you. BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! an oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam bad left him before he transgressed: she would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her: you shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her; for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her. DON PEDRO Look, here she comes. Enter CLAUDIO, BEATRICE, HERO, and LEONATO BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John's foot, fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy. You have no employment for me? DON PEDRO None, but to desire your good company. BENEDICK O God, sir, here's a dish I love not: I cannot endure my Lady Tongue. Exit DON PEDRO Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of Signior Benedick. BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one: marry, once before he won it of me with false dice, therefore your grace may well say I have lost it. DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek. DON PEDRO Why, how now, count! wherefore are you sad? CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord. DON PEDRO How then? sick? CLAUDIO Neither, my lord. BEATRICE The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well; but civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion. DON PEDRO I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true; though, I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won: I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained: name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy! LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and an grace say Amen to it. BEATRICE Speak, count, 'tis your cue. CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much. Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away myself for you and dote upon the exchange. BEATRICE Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss, and let not him speak neither. DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. BEATRICE Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart. CLAUDIO And so she doth, cousin. BEATRICE Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am sunburnt; I may sit in a corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband! DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father's getting. Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them. DON PEDRO Will you have me, lady? BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days: your grace is too costly to wear every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me: I was born to speak all mirth and no matter. DON PEDRO Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. Cousins, God give you joy! LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle. By your grace's pardon. Exit DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady. LEONATO There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamed of unhappiness and waked herself with laughing. DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. LEONATO O, by no means: she mocks all her wooers out of suit. DON PEDRO She were an excellent wife for Benedict. LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad. DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church? CLAUDIO To-morrow, my lord: time goes on crutches till love have all his rites. LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just seven-night; and a time too brief, too, to have all things answer my mind. DON PEDRO Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing: but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other. I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction. LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings. CLAUDIO And I, my lord. DON PEDRO And you too, gentle Hero? HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good husband. DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know. Thus far can I praise him; he is of a noble strain, of approved valour and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humour your cousin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick; and I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedick that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no longer an archer: hi s glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift. Exeunt SCENE II. The same. Enter DON JOHN and BORACHIO DON JOHN It is so; the Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato. BORACHIO Yea, my lord; but I can cross it. DON JOHN Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him, and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage? BORACHIO Not honestly, my lord; but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me. DON JOHN Show me briefly how. BORACHIO I think I told your lordship a year since, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to Hero. DON JOHN I remember. BORACHIO I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night, appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber window. DON JOHN What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage? BORACHIO The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the prince your brother; spare not to tell him that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned Claudio--whose estimation do you mightily hold up--to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero. DON JOHN What proof shall I make of that? BORACHIO Proof enough to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero and kill Leonato. Look you for any other issue? DON JOHN Only to despite them, I will endeavour any thing. BORACHIO Go, then; find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone: tell them that you know that Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio, as,--in love of your brother's honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid,--that you have discovered thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial: offer them instances; which shall bear no less likelihood than to see me at her chamber-window, hear me call Margaret Hero, hear Margaret term me Claudio; and bring them to see this the very night before the intended wedding,--for in the meantime I will so fashion the matter that Hero shall be absent,--and there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty that jealousy shall be called assurance and all the preparation overthrown. DON JOHN Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put it in practise. Be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. BORACHIO Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me. DON JOHN I will presently go learn their day of marriage. Exeunt SCENE III. LEONATO'S orchard. Enter BENEDICK BENEDICK Boy! Enter Boy Boy Signior? BENEDICK In my chamber-window lies a book: bring it hither to me in the orchard. Boy I am here already, sir. BENEDICK I know that; but I would have thee hence, and here again. Exit Boy I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by failing in love: and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha! the prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour. Withdraws Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO DON PEDRO Come, shall we hear this music? CLAUDIO Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is, As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony! DON PEDRO See you where Benedick hath hid himself? CLAUDIO O, very well, my lord: the music ended, We'll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth. Enter BALTHASAR with Music DON PEDRO Come, Balthasar, we'll hear that song again. BALTHASAR O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice To slander music any more than once. DON PEDRO It is the witness still of excellency To put a strange face on his own perfection. I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more. BALTHASAR Because you talk of wooing, I will sing; Since many a wooer doth commence his suit To her he thinks not worthy, yet he wooes, Yet will he swear he loves. DON PEDRO Now, pray thee, come; Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument, Do it in notes. BALTHASAR Note this before my notes; There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting. DON PEDRO Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks; Note, notes, forsooth, and nothing. Air BENEDICK Now, divine air! now is his soul ravished! Is it not strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men's bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all's done. The Song BALTHASAR Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever, One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never: Then sigh not so, but let them go, And be you blithe and bonny, Converting all your sounds of woe Into Hey nonny, nonny. Sing no more ditties, sing no moe, Of dumps so dull and heavy; The fraud of men was ever so, Since summer first was leafy: Then sigh not so, & c. DON PEDRO By my troth, a good song. BALTHASAR And an ill singer, my lord. DON PEDRO Ha, no, no, faith; thou singest well enough for a shift. BENEDICK An he had been a dog that should have howled thus, they would have hanged him: and I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night-raven, come what plague could have come after it. DON PEDRO Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us some excellent music; for to-morrow night we would have it at the Lady Hero's chamber-window. BALTHASAR The best I can, my lord. DON PEDRO Do so: farewell. Exit BALTHASAR Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of to-day, that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signior Benedick? CLAUDIO O, ay: stalk on. stalk on; the fowl sits. I did never think that lady would have loved any man. LEONATO No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to abhor. BENEDICK Is't possible? Sits the wind in that corner? LEONATO By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it but that she loves him with an enraged affection: it is past the infinite of thought. DON PEDRO May be she doth but counterfeit. CLAUDIO Faith, like enough. LEONATO O God, counterfeit! There was never counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it. DON PEDRO Why, what effects of passion shows she? CLAUDIO Bait the hook well; this fish will bite. LEONATO What effects, my lord? She will sit you, you heard my daughter tell you how. CLAUDIO She did, indeed. DON PEDRO How, how, pray you? You amaze me: I would have I thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection. LEONATO I would have sworn it had, my lord; especially against Benedick. BENEDICK I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence. CLAUDIO He hath ta'en the infection: hold it up. DON PEDRO Hath she made her affection known to Benedick? LEONATO No; and swears she never will: that's her torment. CLAUDIO 'Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: 'Shall I,' says she, 'that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him that I love him?' LEONATO This says she now when she is beginning to write to him; for she'll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a sheet of paper: my daughter tells us all. CLAUDIO Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of. LEONATO O, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet? CLAUDIO That. LEONATO O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence; railed at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her; 'I measure him,' says she, 'by my own spirit; for I should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I love him, I should.' CLAUDIO Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses; 'O sweet Benedick! God give me patience!' LEONATO She doth indeed; my daughter says so: and the ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime afeared she will do a desperate outrage to herself: it is very true. DON PEDRO It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it. CLAUDIO To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse. DON PEDRO An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She's an excellent sweet lady; and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous. CLAUDIO And she is exceeding wise. DON PEDRO In every thing but in loving Benedick. LEONATO O, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian. DON PEDRO I would she had bestowed this dotage on me: I would have daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray you, tell Benedick of it, and hear what a' will say. LEONATO Were it good, think you? CLAUDIO Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she will die, if he love her not, and she will die, ere she make her love known, and she will die, if he woo her, rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness. DON PEDRO She doth well: if she should make tender of her love, 'tis very possible he'll scorn it; for the man, as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit. CLAUDIO He is a very proper man. DON PEDRO He hath indeed a good outward happiness. CLAUDIO Before God! and, in my mind, very wise. DON PEDRO He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit. CLAUDIO And I take him to be valiant. DON PEDRO As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he avoids them with great discretion, or undertakes them with a most Christian-like fear. LEONATO If he do fear God, a' must necessarily keep peace: if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling. DON PEDRO And so will he do; for the man doth fear God, howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well I am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick, and tell him of her love? CLAUDIO Never tell him, my lord: let her wear it out with good counsel. LEONATO Nay, that's impossible: she may wear her heart out first. DON PEDRO Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter: let it cool the while. I love Benedick well; and I could wish he would modestly examine himself, to see how much he is unworthy so good a lady. LEONATO My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready. CLAUDIO If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation. DON PEDRO Let there be the same net spread for her; and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of another's dotage, and no such matter: that's the scene that I would see, which will be merely a dumb-show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner. Exeunt DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO BENEDICK [Coming forward] This can be no trick: the conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. Love me! why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair; 'tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; 'tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day! she's a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in her. Enter BEATRICE BEATRICE Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner. BENEDICK Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. BEATRICE I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me: if it had been painful, I would not have come. BENEDICK You take pleasure then in the message? BEATRICE Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife's point and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior: fare you well. Exit BENEDICK Ha! 'Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner;' there's a double meaning in that 'I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.' that's as much as to say, Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks. If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture. Exit ACT III SCENE I. LEONATO'S garden. Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA HERO Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor; There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice Proposing with the prince and Claudio: Whisper her ear and tell her, I and Ursula Walk in the orchard and our whole discourse Is all of her; say that thou overheard'st us; And bid her steal into the pleached bower, Where honeysuckles, ripen'd by the sun, Forbid the sun to enter, like favourites, Made proud by princes, that advance their pride Against that power that bred it: there will she hide her, To listen our purpose. This is thy office; Bear thee well in it and leave us alone. MARGARET I'll make her come, I warrant you, presently. Exit HERO Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come, As we do trace this alley up and down, Our talk must only be of Benedick. When I do name him, let it be thy part To praise him more than ever man did merit: My talk to thee must be how Benedick Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter Is little Cupid's crafty arrow made, That only wounds by hearsay. Enter BEATRICE, behind Now begin; For look where Beatrice, like a lapwing, runs Close by the ground, to hear our conference. URSULA The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden oars the silver stream, And greedily devour the treacherous bait: So angle we for Beatrice; who even now Is couched in the woodbine coverture. Fear you not my part of the dialogue. HERO Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it. Approaching the bower No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful; I know her spirits are as coy and wild As haggerds of the rock. URSULA But are you sure That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely? HERO So says the prince and my new-trothed lord. URSULA And did they bid you tell her of it, madam? HERO They did entreat me to acquaint her of it; But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick, To wish him wrestle with affection, And never to let Beatrice know of it. URSULA Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman Deserve as full as fortunate a bed As ever Beatrice shall couch upon? HERO O god of love! I know he doth deserve As much as may be yielded to a man: But Nature never framed a woman's heart Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice; Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes, Misprising what they look on, and her wit Values itself so highly that to her All matter else seems weak: she cannot love, Nor take no shape nor project of affection, She is so self-endeared. URSULA Sure, I think so; And therefore certainly it were not good She knew his love, lest she make sport at it. HERO Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man, How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured, But she would spell him backward: if fair-faced, She would swear the gentleman should be her sister; If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antique, Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed; If low, an agate very vilely cut; If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds; If silent, why, a block moved with none. So turns she every man the wrong side out And never gives to truth and virtue that Which simpleness and merit purchaseth. URSULA Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable. HERO No, not to be so odd and from all fashions As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable: But who dare tell her so? If I should speak, She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me Out of myself, press me to death with wit. Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire, Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly: It were a better death than die with mocks, Which is as bad as die with tickling. URSULA Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say. HERO No; rather I will go to Benedick And counsel him to fight against his passion. And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders To stain my cousin with: one doth not know How much an ill word may empoison liking. URSULA O, do not do your cousin such a wrong. She cannot be so much without true judgment-- Having so swift and excellent a wit As she is prized to have--as to refuse So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick. HERO He is the only man of Italy. Always excepted my dear Claudio. URSULA I pray you, be not angry with me, madam, Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick, For shape, for bearing, argument and valour, Goes foremost in report through Italy. HERO Indeed, he hath an excellent good name. URSULA His excellence did earn it, ere he had it. When are you married, madam? HERO Why, every day, to-morrow. Come, go in: I'll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel Which is the best to furnish me to-morrow. URSULA She's limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam. HERO If it proves so, then loving goes by haps

Much Ado About Nothing Shakespeare homepage | Much Ado About Nothing | Entire play ACT I SCENE I. Before LEONATO'S house. Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a Messenger LEONATO I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon comes this night to Messina. Messenger He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him. LEONATO How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? Messenger But few of any sort, and none of name. LEONATO A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio. Messenger Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better bettered expectation than you must expect of me to tell you how. LEONATO He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. Messenger I have already delivered him letters, and there appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could not show itself modest enough without a badge of bitterness. LEONATO Did he break out into tears? Messenger In great measure. LEONATO A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces truer than those that are so washed. How much better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping! BEATRICE I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no? Messenger I know none of that name, lady: there was none such in the army of any sort. LEONATO What is he that you ask for, niece? HERO My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. Messenger O, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was. BEATRICE He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing. LEONATO Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Messenger He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. BEATRICE You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an excellent stomach. Messenger And a good soldier too, lady. BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord? Messenger A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honourable virtues. BEATRICE It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing,--well, we are all mortal. LEONATO You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her: they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them. BEATRICE Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Messenger Is't possible? BEATRICE Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. Messenger I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. BEATRICE No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil? Messenger He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. BEATRICE O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere a' be cured. Messenger I will hold friends with you, lady. BEATRICE Do, good friend. LEONATO You will never run mad, niece. BEATRICE No, not till a hot January. Messenger Don Pedro is approached. Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and BALTHASAR DON PEDRO Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it. LEONATO Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave. DON PEDRO You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your daughter. LEONATO Her mother hath many times told me so. BENEDICK Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? LEONATO Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. DON PEDRO You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an honourable father. BENEDICK If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. BEATRICE I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick: nobody marks you. BENEDICK What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living? BEATRICE Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. BENEDICK Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. BEATRICE A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. BENEDICK God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face. BEATRICE Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were. BENEDICK Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. BEATRICE A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. BENEDICK I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's name; I have done. BEATRICE You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old. DON PEDRO That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. LEONATO If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn. To DON JOHN Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. DON JOHN I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. LEONATO Please it your grace lead on? DON PEDRO Your hand, Leonato; we will go together. Exeunt all except BENEDICK and CLAUDIO CLAUDIO Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato? BENEDICK I noted her not; but I looked on her. CLAUDIO Is she not a modest young lady? BENEDICK Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? CLAUDIO No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment. BENEDICK Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her, that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I do not like her. CLAUDIO Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me truly how thou likest her. BENEDICK Would you buy her, that you inquire after her? CLAUDIO Can the world buy such a jewel? BENEDICK Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack, to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take you, to go in the song? CLAUDIO In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I looked on. BENEDICK I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you? CLAUDIO I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. BENEDICK Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion? Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again? Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away Sundays. Look Don Pedro is returned to seek you. Re-enter DON PEDRO DON PEDRO What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's? BENEDICK I would your grace would constrain me to tell. DON PEDRO I charge thee on thy allegiance. BENEDICK You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man; I would have you think so; but, on my allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance. He is in love. With who? now that is your grace's part. Mark how short his answer is;--With Hero, Leonato's short daughter. CLAUDIO If this were so, so were it uttered. BENEDICK Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor 'twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be so.' CLAUDIO If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it should be otherwise. DON PEDRO Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy. CLAUDIO You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. DON PEDRO By my troth, I speak my thought. CLAUDIO And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. BENEDICK And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine. CLAUDIO That I love her, I feel. DON PEDRO That she is worthy, I know. BENEDICK That I neither feel how she should be loved nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake. DON PEDRO Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite of beauty. CLAUDIO And never could maintain his part but in the force of his will. BENEDICK That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor. DON PEDRO I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. BENEDICK With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord, not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood with love than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of blind Cupid. DON PEDRO Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. BENEDICK If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on the shoulder, and called Adam. DON PEDRO Well, as time shall try: 'In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.' BENEDICK The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted, and in such great letters as they write 'Here is good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign 'Here you may see Benedick the married man.' CLAUDIO If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. DON PEDRO Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. BENEDICK I look for an earthquake too, then. DON PEDRO Well, you temporize with the hours. In the meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to Leonato's: commend me to him and tell him I will not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made great preparation. BENEDICK I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you-- CLAUDIO To the tuition of God: From my house, if I had it,-- DON PEDRO The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick. BENEDICK Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conscience: and so I leave you. Exit CLAUDIO My liege, your highness now may do me good. DON PEDRO My love is thine to teach: teach it but how, And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn Any hard lesson that may do thee good. CLAUDIO Hath Leonato any son, my lord? DON PEDRO No child but Hero; she's his only heir. Dost thou affect her, Claudio? CLAUDIO O, my lord, When you went onward on this ended action, I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye, That liked, but had a rougher task in hand Than to drive liking to the name of love: But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts Have left their places vacant, in their rooms Come thronging soft and delicate desires, All prompting me how fair young Hero is, Saying, I liked her ere I went to wars. DON PEDRO Thou wilt be like a lover presently And tire the hearer with a book of words. If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it, And I will break with her and with her father, And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end That thou began'st to twist so fine a story? CLAUDIO How sweetly you do minister to love, That know love's grief by his complexion! But lest my liking might too sudden seem, I would have salved it with a longer treatise. DON PEDRO What need the bridge much broader than the flood? The fairest grant is the necessity. Look, what will serve is fit: 'tis once, thou lovest, And I will fit thee with the remedy. I know we shall have revelling to-night: I will assume thy part in some disguise And tell fair Hero I am Claudio, And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart And take her hearing prisoner with the force And strong encounter of my amorous tale: Then after to her father will I break; And the conclusion is, she shall be thine. In practise let us put it presently. Exeunt SCENE II. A room in LEONATO's house. Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, meeting LEONATO How now, brother! Where is my cousin, your son? hath he provided this music? ANTONIO He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell you strange news that you yet dreamt not of. LEONATO Are they good? ANTONIO As the event stamps them: but they have a good cover; they show well outward. The prince and Count Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine: the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it this night in a dance: and if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top and instantly break with you of it. LEONATO Hath the fellow any wit that told you this? ANTONIO A good sharp fellow: I will send for him; and question him yourself. LEONATO No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal, that she may be the better prepared for an answer, if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it. Enter Attendants Cousins, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time. Exeunt SCENE III. The same. Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE CONRADE What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad? DON JOHN There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit. CONRADE You should hear reason. DON JOHN And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it? CONRADE If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance. DON JOHN I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art, born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and claw no man in his humour. CONRADE Yea, but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. DON JOHN I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and seek not to alter me. CONRADE Can you make no use of your discontent? DON JOHN I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? Enter BORACHIO What news, Borachio? BORACHIO I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage. DON JOHN Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness? BORACHIO Marry, it is your brother's right hand. DON JOHN Who? the most exquisite Claudio? BORACHIO Even he. DON JOHN A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he? BORACHIO Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato. DON JOHN A very forward March-chick! How came you to this? BORACHIO Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio. DON JOHN Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me? CONRADE To the death, my lord. DON JOHN Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go prove what's to be done? BORACHIO We'll wait upon your lordship. Exeunt ACT II SCENE I. A hall in LEONATO'S house. Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and others LEONATO Was not Count John here at supper? ANTONIO I saw him not. BEATRICE How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am heart-burned an hour after. HERO He is of a very melancholy disposition. BEATRICE He were an excellent man that were made just in the midway between him and Benedick: the one is too like an image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling. LEONATO Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in Signior Benedick's face,-- BEATRICE With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world, if a' could get her good-will. LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. ANTONIO In faith, she's too curst. BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's sending that way; for it is said, 'God sends a curst cow short horns;' but to a cow too curst he sends none. LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns. BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen. LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard. BEATRICE What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell. LEONATO Well, then, go you into hell? BEATRICE No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say 'Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids:' so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long. ANTONIO [To HERO] Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled by your father. BEATRICE Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy and say 'Father, as it please you.' But yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and say 'Father, as it please me.' LEONATO Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband. BEATRICE Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a pierce of valiant dust? to make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren; and, truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred. LEONATO Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer. BEATRICE The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be not wooed in good time: if the prince be too important, tell him there is measure in every thing and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero: wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave. LEONATO Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. BEATRICE I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight. LEONATO The revellers are entering, brother: make good room. All put on their masks Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR, DON JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA and others, masked DON PEDRO Lady, will you walk about with your friend? HERO So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing, I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away. DON PEDRO With me in your company? HERO I may say so, when I please. DON PEDRO And when please you to say so? HERO When I like your favour; for God defend the lute should be like the case! DON PEDRO My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove. HERO Why, then, your visor should be thatched. DON PEDRO Speak low, if you speak love. Drawing her aside BALTHASAR Well, I would you did like me. MARGARET So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many ill-qualities. BALTHASAR Which is one? MARGARET I say my prayers aloud. BALTHASAR I love you the better: the hearers may cry, Amen. MARGARET God match me with a good dancer! BALTHASAR Amen. MARGARET And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is done! Answer, clerk. BALTHASAR No more words: the clerk is answered. URSULA I know you well enough; you are Signior Antonio. ANTONIO At a word, I am not. URSULA I know you by the waggling of your head. ANTONIO To tell you true, I counterfeit him. URSULA You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man. Here's his dry hand up and down: you are he, you are he. ANTONIO At a word, I am not. URSULA Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end. BEATRICE Will you not tell me who told you so? BENEDICK No, you shall pardon me. BEATRICE Nor will you not tell me who you are? BENEDICK Not now. BEATRICE That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the 'Hundred Merry Tales:'--well this was Signior Benedick that said so. BENEDICK What's he? BEATRICE I am sure you know him well enough. BENEDICK Not I, believe me. BEATRICE Did he never make you laugh? BENEDICK I pray you, what is he? BEATRICE Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: none but libertines delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany; for he both pleases men and angers them, and then they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in the fleet: I would he had boarded me. BENEDICK When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say. BEATRICE Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me; which, peradventure not marked or not laughed at, strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no supper that night. Music We must follow the leaders. BENEDICK In every good thing. BEATRICE Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at the next turning. Dance. Then exeunt all except DON JOHN, BORACHIO, and CLAUDIO DON JOHN Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath withdrawn her father to break with him about it. The ladies follow her and but one visor remains. BORACHIO And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing. DON JOHN Are not you Signior Benedick? CLAUDIO You know me well; I am he. DON JOHN Signior, you are very near my brother in his love: he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him from her: she is no equal for his birth: you may do the part of an honest man in it. CLAUDIO How know you he loves her? DON JOHN I heard him swear his affection. BORACHIO So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night. DON JOHN Come, let us to the banquet. Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO CLAUDIO Thus answer I in the name of Benedick, But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. 'Tis certain so; the prince wooes for himself. Friendship is constant in all other things Save in the office and affairs of love: Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues; Let every eye negotiate for itself And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch Against whose charms faith melteth into blood. This is an accident of hourly proof, Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero! Re-enter BENEDICK BENEDICK Count Claudio? CLAUDIO Yea, the same. BENEDICK Come, will you go with me? CLAUDIO Whither? BENEDICK Even to the next willow, about your own business, county. What fashion will you wear the garland of? about your neck, like an usurer's chain? or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero. CLAUDIO I wish him joy of her. BENEDICK Why, that's spoken like an honest drovier: so they sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would have served you thus? CLAUDIO I pray you, leave me. BENEDICK Ho! now you strike like the blind man: 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. CLAUDIO If it will not be, I'll leave you. Exit BENEDICK Alas, poor hurt fowl! now will he creep into sedges. But that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The prince's fool! Ha? It may be I go under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I am apt to do myself wrong; I am not so reputed: it is the base, though bitter, disposition of Beatrice that puts the world into her person and so gives me out. Well, I'll be revenged as I may. Re-enter DON PEDRO DON PEDRO Now, signior, where's the count? did you see him? BENEDICK Troth, my lord, I have played the part of Lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren: I told him, and I think I told him true, that your grace had got the good will of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow-tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipped. DON PEDRO To be whipped! What's his fault? BENEDICK The flat transgression of a schoolboy, who, being overjoyed with finding a birds' nest, shows it his companion, and he steals it. DON PEDRO Wilt thou make a trust a transgression? The transgression is in the stealer. BENEDICK Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself, and the rod he might have bestowed on you, who, as I take it, have stolen his birds' nest. DON PEDRO I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner. BENEDICK If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly. DON PEDRO The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you: the gentleman that danced with her told her she is much wronged by you. BENEDICK O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! an oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs: if her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect to the north star. I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam bad left him before he transgressed: she would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her: you shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her; for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so, indeed, all disquiet, horror and perturbation follows her. DON PEDRO Look, here she comes. Enter CLAUDIO, BEATRICE, HERO, and LEONATO BENEDICK Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on; I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furthest inch of Asia, bring you the length of Prester John's foot, fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard, do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words' conference with this harpy. You have no employment for me? DON PEDRO None, but to desire your good company. BENEDICK O God, sir, here's a dish I love not: I cannot endure my Lady Tongue. Exit DON PEDRO Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of Signior Benedick. BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one: marry, once before he won it of me with false dice, therefore your grace may well say I have lost it. DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek. DON PEDRO Why, how now, count! wherefore are you sad? CLAUDIO Not sad, my lord. DON PEDRO How then? sick? CLAUDIO Neither, my lord. BEATRICE The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well; but civil count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion. DON PEDRO I' faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true; though, I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won: I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained: name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy! LEONATO Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and an grace say Amen to it. BEATRICE Speak, count, 'tis your cue. CLAUDIO Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much. Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away myself for you and dote upon the exchange. BEATRICE Speak, cousin; or, if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss, and let not him speak neither. DON PEDRO In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. BEATRICE Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart. CLAUDIO And so she doth, cousin. BEATRICE Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am sunburnt; I may sit in a corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband! DON PEDRO Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. BEATRICE I would rather have one of your father's getting. Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them. DON PEDRO Will you have me, lady? BEATRICE No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days: your grace is too costly to wear every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me: I was born to speak all mirth and no matter. DON PEDRO Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. Cousins, God give you joy! LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle. By your grace's pardon. Exit DON PEDRO By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady. LEONATO There's little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamed of unhappiness and waked herself with laughing. DON PEDRO She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. LEONATO O, by no means: she mocks all her wooers out of suit. DON PEDRO She were an excellent wife for Benedict. LEONATO O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad. DON PEDRO County Claudio, when mean you to go to church? CLAUDIO To-morrow, my lord: time goes on crutches till love have all his rites. LEONATO Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just seven-night; and a time too brief, too, to have all things answer my mind. DON PEDRO Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing: but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other. I would fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction. LEONATO My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings. CLAUDIO And I, my lord. DON PEDRO And you too, gentle Hero? HERO I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good husband. DON PEDRO And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know. Thus far can I praise him; he is of a noble strain, of approved valour and confirmed honesty. I will teach you how to humour your cousin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick; and I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedick that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no longer an archer: hi s glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift. Exeunt SCENE II. The same. Enter DON JOHN and BORACHIO DON JOHN It is so; the Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato. BORACHIO Yea, my lord; but I can cross it. DON JOHN Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him, and whatsoever comes athwart his affection ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage? BORACHIO Not honestly, my lord; but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me. DON JOHN Show me briefly how. BORACHIO I think I told your lordship a year since, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to Hero. DON JOHN I remember. BORACHIO I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night, appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber window. DON JOHN What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage? BORACHIO The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the prince your brother; spare not to tell him that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned Claudio--whose estimation do you mightily hold up--to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero. DON JOHN What proof shall I make of that? BORACHIO Proof enough to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero and kill Leonato. Look you for any other issue? DON JOHN Only to despite them, I will endeavour any thing. BORACHIO Go, then; find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone: tell them that you know that Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio, as,--in love of your brother's honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid,--that you have discovered thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial: offer them instances; which shall bear no less likelihood than to see me at her chamber-window, hear me call Margaret Hero, hear Margaret term me Claudio; and bring them to see this the very night before the intended wedding,--for in the meantime I will so fashion the matter that Hero shall be absent,--and there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty that jealousy shall be called assurance and all the preparation overthrown. DON JOHN Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put it in practise. Be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. BORACHIO Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me. DON JOHN I will presently go learn their day of marriage. Exeunt SCENE III. LEONATO'S orchard. Enter BENEDICK BENEDICK Boy! Enter Boy Boy Signior? BENEDICK In my chamber-window lies a book: bring it hither to me in the orchard. Boy I am here already, sir. BENEDICK I know that; but I would have thee hence, and here again. Exit Boy I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors to love, will, after he hath laughed at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by failing in love: and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabour and the pipe: I have known when he would have walked ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her; fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha! the prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour. Withdraws Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO DON PEDRO Come, shall we hear this music? CLAUDIO Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is, As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony! DON PEDRO See you where Benedick hath hid himself? CLAUDIO O, very well, my lord: the music ended, We'll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth. Enter BALTHASAR with Music DON PEDRO Come, Balthasar, we'll hear that song again. BALTHASAR O, good my lord, tax not so bad a voice To slander music any more than once. DON PEDRO It is the witness still of excellency To put a strange face on his own perfection. I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more. BALTHASAR Because you talk of wooing, I will sing; Since many a wooer doth commence his suit To her he thinks not worthy, yet he wooes, Yet will he swear he loves. DON PEDRO Now, pray thee, come; Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument, Do it in notes. BALTHASAR Note this before my notes; There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting. DON PEDRO Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks; Note, notes, forsooth, and nothing. Air BENEDICK Now, divine air! now is his soul ravished! Is it not strange that sheeps' guts should hale souls out of men's bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when all's done. The Song BALTHASAR Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever, One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never: Then sigh not so, but let them go, And be you blithe and bonny, Converting all your sounds of woe Into Hey nonny, nonny. Sing no more ditties, sing no moe, Of dumps so dull and heavy; The fraud of men was ever so, Since summer first was leafy: Then sigh not so, & c. DON PEDRO By my troth, a good song. BALTHASAR And an ill singer, my lord. DON PEDRO Ha, no, no, faith; thou singest well enough for a shift. BENEDICK An he had been a dog that should have howled thus, they would have hanged him: and I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief. I had as lief have heard the night-raven, come what plague could have come after it. DON PEDRO Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us some excellent music; for to-morrow night we would have it at the Lady Hero's chamber-window. BALTHASAR The best I can, my lord. DON PEDRO Do so: farewell. Exit BALTHASAR Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of to-day, that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signior Benedick? CLAUDIO O, ay: stalk on. stalk on; the fowl sits. I did never think that lady would have loved any man. LEONATO No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she should so dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to abhor. BENEDICK Is't possible? Sits the wind in that corner? LEONATO By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it but that she loves him with an enraged affection: it is past the infinite of thought. DON PEDRO May be she doth but counterfeit. CLAUDIO Faith, like enough. LEONATO O God, counterfeit! There was never counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion as she discovers it. DON PEDRO Why, what effects of passion shows she? CLAUDIO Bait the hook well; this fish will bite. LEONATO What effects, my lord? She will sit you, you heard my daughter tell you how. CLAUDIO She did, indeed. DON PEDRO How, how, pray you? You amaze me: I would have I thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection. LEONATO I would have sworn it had, my lord; especially against Benedick. BENEDICK I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence. CLAUDIO He hath ta'en the infection: hold it up. DON PEDRO Hath she made her affection known to Benedick? LEONATO No; and swears she never will: that's her torment. CLAUDIO 'Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: 'Shall I,' says she, 'that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him that I love him?' LEONATO This says she now when she is beginning to write to him; for she'll be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ a sheet of paper: my daughter tells us all. CLAUDIO Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of. LEONATO O, when she had writ it and was reading it over, she found Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet? CLAUDIO That. LEONATO O, she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence; railed at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would flout her; 'I measure him,' says she, 'by my own spirit; for I should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I love him, I should.' CLAUDIO Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, curses; 'O sweet Benedick! God give me patience!' LEONATO She doth indeed; my daughter says so: and the ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my daughter is sometime afeared she will do a desperate outrage to herself: it is very true. DON PEDRO It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it. CLAUDIO To what end? He would make but a sport of it and torment the poor lady worse. DON PEDRO An he should, it were an alms to hang him. She's an excellent sweet lady; and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous. CLAUDIO And she is exceeding wise. DON PEDRO In every thing but in loving Benedick. LEONATO O, my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian. DON PEDRO I would she had bestowed this dotage on me: I would have daffed all other respects and made her half myself. I pray you, tell Benedick of it, and hear what a' will say. LEONATO Were it good, think you? CLAUDIO Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she will die, if he love her not, and she will die, ere she make her love known, and she will die, if he woo her, rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed crossness. DON PEDRO She doth well: if she should make tender of her love, 'tis very possible he'll scorn it; for the man, as you know all, hath a contemptible spirit. CLAUDIO He is a very proper man. DON PEDRO He hath indeed a good outward happiness. CLAUDIO Before God! and, in my mind, very wise. DON PEDRO He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit. CLAUDIO And I take him to be valiant. DON PEDRO As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he avoids them with great discretion, or undertakes them with a most Christian-like fear. LEONATO If he do fear God, a' must necessarily keep peace: if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling. DON PEDRO And so will he do; for the man doth fear God, howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well I am sorry for your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick, and tell him of her love? CLAUDIO Never tell him, my lord: let her wear it out with good counsel. LEONATO Nay, that's impossible: she may wear her heart out first. DON PEDRO Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter: let it cool the while. I love Benedick well; and I could wish he would modestly examine himself, to see how much he is unworthy so good a lady. LEONATO My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready. CLAUDIO If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation. DON PEDRO Let there be the same net spread for her; and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The sport will be, when they hold one an opinion of another's dotage, and no such matter: that's the scene that I would see, which will be merely a dumb-show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner. Exeunt DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO BENEDICK [Coming forward] This can be no trick: the conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. Love me! why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair; 'tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; 'tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day! she's a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in her. Enter BEATRICE BEATRICE Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner. BENEDICK Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. BEATRICE I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me: if it had been painful, I would not have come. BENEDICK You take pleasure then in the message? BEATRICE Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife's point and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior: fare you well. Exit BENEDICK Ha! 'Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner;' there's a double meaning in that 'I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.' that's as much as to say, Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks. If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture. Exit ACT III SCENE I. LEONATO'S garden. Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA HERO Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor; There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice Proposing with the prince and Claudio: Whisper her ear and tell her, I and Ursula Walk in the orchard and our whole discourse Is all of her; say that thou overheard'st us; And bid her steal into the pleached bower, Where honeysuckles, ripen'd by the sun, Forbid the sun to enter, like favourites, Made proud by princes, that advance their pride Against that power that bred it: there will she hide her, To listen our purpose. This is thy office; Bear thee well in it and leave us alone. MARGARET I'll make her come, I warrant you, presently. Exit HERO Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come, As we do trace this alley up and down, Our talk must only be of Benedick. When I do name him, let it be thy part To praise him more than ever man did merit: My talk to thee must be how Benedick Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter Is little Cupid's crafty arrow made, That only wounds by hearsay. Enter BEATRICE, behind Now begin; For look where Beatrice, like a lapwing, runs Close by the ground, to hear our conference. URSULA The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden oars the silver stream, And greedily devour the treacherous bait: So angle we for Beatrice; who even now Is couched in the woodbine coverture. Fear you not my part of the dialogue. HERO Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it. Approaching the bower No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful; I know her spirits are as coy and wild As haggerds of the rock. URSULA But are you sure That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely? HERO So says the prince and my new-trothed lord. URSULA And did they bid you tell her of it, madam? HERO They did entreat me to acquaint her of it; But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick, To wish him wrestle with affection, And never to let Beatrice know of it. URSULA Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman Deserve as full as fortunate a bed As ever Beatrice shall couch upon? HERO O god of love! I know he doth deserve As much as may be yielded to a man: But Nature never framed a woman's heart Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice; Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes, Misprising what they look on, and her wit Values itself so highly that to her All matter else seems weak: she cannot love, Nor take no shape nor project of affection, She is so self-endeared. URSULA Sure, I think so; And therefore certainly it were not good She knew his love, lest she make sport at it. HERO Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man, How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured, But she would spell him backward: if fair-faced, She would swear the gentleman should be her sister; If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antique, Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed; If low, an agate very vilely cut; If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds; If silent, why, a block moved with none. So turns she every man the wrong side out And never gives to truth and virtue that Which simpleness and merit purchaseth. URSULA Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable. HERO No, not to be so odd and from all fashions As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable: But who dare tell her so? If I should speak, She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me Out of myself, press me to death with wit. Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire, Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly: It were a better death than die with mocks, Which is as bad as die with tickling. URSULA Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say. HERO No; rather I will go to Benedick And counsel him to fight against his passion. And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders To stain my cousin with: one doth not know How much an ill word may empoison liking. URSULA O, do not do your cousin such a wrong. She cannot be so much without true judgment-- Having so swift and excellent a wit As she is prized to have--as to refuse So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick. HERO He is the only man of Italy. Always excepted my dear Claudio. URSULA I pray you, be not angry with me, madam, Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick, For shape, for bearing, argument and valour, Goes foremost in report through Italy. HERO Indeed, he hath an excellent good name. URSULA His excellence did earn it, ere he had it. When are you married, madam? HERO Why, every day, to-morrow. Come, go in: I'll show thee some attires, and have thy counsel Which is the best to furnish me to-morrow. URSULA She's limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam. HERO If it proves so, then loving goes by haps

If I had never found geocaching.... I would not have met so many wonderful people both here in Australia and on my overseas travels. The friendships I've made are amazing. Also, as a result of this game, I was invited onto Danish Community Radio in Copenhagen for a two hour program to discuss geocaching in Australia. We even had talk back with people phoning in to ask questions. It was a hoot!!!!!

One done only a couple years after starting (and the other 2/3rds was a FTF monster), was supposed to be at a kid's "Grandma's house". - "She can't wait to talk to people! ". So apparently we're there for her amusement as well... Six in the morning, 2/3rds searching along a hedge at the sidewalk and finds it. A man comes out, asking her what the #$** is she doing, she tells him, and he directs her next door, where the kid's Grandma lives. The container was given to "Grandma", and now she really had to watch and talk to people, until the kid got outta school. Sheesh...

This design proposal looks great! But it's not so important whether Groundspeak will agree with you, these design thing are changeable using Javascript/GM and guys behind GC little helper II will surely be fast. As for the stalker thing someone has mentioned: I am not a stalker as well but me and my friends often visit the Friends page and check out others' new finds (GClh II is very helpful in this) as we like to talk about where we were, what we experienced there, watch the pics etc. The feed will make it much easier for us. Wow, if the feed items only indicated somehow there are images attached to them, that would be something! People who don't want to share their activity with their friends can easily switch it off. One click is all it takes. No need to talk about stalking anymore.

Right. We archived an entire series because the area was changing, with very-large trees falling (a couple while we were there), and we felt safety a concern. - Attention not a given with many we've seen for a while now. There's more than a few videos on phones and attention... If I'm busy and folks don't know my phone number (I talk on the phone), it might be a day or better before I get back to them. I think it's really odd that someone would assume that I'd "appreciate" whatever throwdown they'd leave "to help me out". We've never used mediocre containers. Since I'd have to go back to replace the container they left anyway, I'd rather they log a NM and move on... - Though we act on logs, fixing 'em before waiting for a NM. "Log damp" not needing a NM a few weeks later to go fix... Now if they're replacing 30/50cals with 81mm mortar boxes, I've still got half a pallet for trade.

I have a cute "getting permission" story to share. We wanted to do a simple light pole cache (a match stick cache we bought on geocache.com). The parking lot it was standing in was a quaint minimall. We asked one of the store owners who owned the parking lot and explained why. He knew about geocaching and was very helpful, gave us the name & number of the owner and also said he would talk to him. We called the owner, explained what geocaching was, and asked if we could leave a "cache" under his light post. It was fine with him and then asked us...who keeps the "cash" people leave behind. lol

Moderators rarely start forum topics, but I hope the community can indulge me this soapbox to mark the occasion of my 20,000th forum post. Here is a collection of things I wanted to discuss. 20,000 Posts is quite a posting power trail. Why, and do you have a life? Those posts accumulated over 16 years. I've been a moderator since the very first day when the forums had volunteer moderators. Those posts are a combination of steering discussion participants towards following the forum guidelines, explaining the cache hiding guidelines and process, and helping people (especially newcomers) by answering questions about how geocaching works. I like that last part the most. I enjoy helping people and, like all who read this, I love reading and talking about geocaching. How are the forums now, versus 2003? When I first became a moderator, the forums were like the wild wild west. It was super busy and super chaotic, 24/7. New flame wars lit up every week. In part, that was because there were no moderators from 2000 to 2003. Jeremy Irish did a lot of the explaining and moderating. His style was blunt and direct, and that tended to stir up the beehive. Also, we didn't have the tools back then to moderate effectively, like permanently locking threads, efficiently stopping spammers, and suspending posting rights when appropriate. Finally, Geocaching HQ has improved greatly since then, with a supportive staff that helps head off problems in the community and to ensure consistency in application of the site terms of use, cache hiding guidelines, and forum guidelines. That wild west label applied in 2003 to site volunteers, too - myself included. My ego thought I owned this place. I didn't. Today, we can go for hours with few or no forum posts, and flame wars are pretty rare. One reason for the drop in traffic is the popularity of social media. Geocachers love to talk about geocaching, and now there are many ways to do that which didn't exist in 2003: Facebook, twitter, blogs, vlogs, etc. This is a good thing. So, how are the forums still relevant? Heading into 2020, in my opinion the two highest and best uses where the Geocaching Forums stand out are (1) helping newcomers and others with questions, and (2) announcing and explaining website features, changes and promotions. Newcomers often find the forums first, and they tend to receive more complete, accurate answers than in other channels. Site features are best discussed here and in other Geocaching HQ social media - announcements can't be posted to hundreds of local Facebook groups. I know that a lot of people read here, but don't post - they link to discussions and carry the news to their local community by posting elsewhere. If that's you, thank you for doing that, and please consider joining the discussions here. How can the forums be better? Be kind to others, especially newcomers. It may be the 132nd thread you've read, asking how it's possible to find hundreds of geocaches in a single day, but the person asking doesn't know that. Don't scare them off. Be nice to veterans, too - it is boring when everyone agrees with you, so keep an open mind when someone expresses an opinion which differs from yours. Finally, stay on topic and keep your posts relevant. Not every remark requires a reply. One of the best features of the forums is that there's an easily searchable, permanent database of answers about geocaching. Don't clog up the search results unnecessarily. Thank you for reading this, and for affording me the privilege of serving the geocaching community as a volunteer forum moderator. It's an honor and a pleasure.

Old topic but it is coming around again. There is again talk of barring anyone that doesn't have a hunting license from hiking on PA Gamelands. Applies year round regardless of hunting seasons.

Can you please explain my why if cachers sit in a restaurant and eat pasta and talk about geocaching it is related to geocaching and if cachers meet at an ice skating area and skate and talk about geocaching or go for a hike and talk about geocaching it is not related to geocaching? I just do not get it. round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and we go

So... just host a hike and invite geocachers directly without making it an event. That's exactly what the ice skating event will end up. gc.com will lose however and those who do not belong to cliques and are not local to the event area. I thought that there should be better ways, but apparently they are not and Groundspeak does not seem to have interest to keep such events on their site. Why would Groundspeak be interested in hosting things entirely unrelated to geocaching? As far as I am aware, they are not out to compete with Meetup.com. How is it a loss? Can you please explain my why if cachers sit in a restaurant and eat pasta and talk about geocaching it is related to geocaching and if cachers meet at an ice skating area and skate and talk about geocaching or go for a hike and talk about geocaching it is not related to geocaching? I just do not get it. Nobody said those things weren't about geocaching. Your ideal event, evidently, is not about geocaching. You just want to use the geocaching site as a platform to bring people to something that has nothing to do with geocaching, and that's an entirely separate issue.

So... just host a hike and invite geocachers directly without making it an event. That's exactly what the ice skating event will end up. gc.com will lose however and those who do not belong to cliques and are not local to the event area. I thought that there should be better ways, but apparently they are not and Groundspeak does not seem to have interest to keep such events on their site. Why would Groundspeak be interested in hosting things entirely unrelated to geocaching? As far as I am aware, they are not out to compete with Meetup.com. How is it a loss? Can you please explain my why if cachers sit in a restaurant and eat pasta and talk about geocaching it is related to geocaching and if cachers meet at an ice skating area and skate and talk about geocaching or go for a hike and talk about geocaching it is not related to geocaching? I just do not get it.

I noticed that too. Requiring the event to last 2 hours implies that HQ feels these are elaborate, special events with a lot going on. This seems to conflict with the 20200 number, which implies the exact opposite (widespread, common events). While officially these events will be listed as being 2 hours or longer, the reality is that many will end up being shorter, especially after cachers have attended a dozen of them already. We'll thus have totally expected conflicts as follows: ...10 CC events are held in an area... The 11th CC event in the area is held, with a listed event length of 2 hours 30 minutes into the event, everyone realizes there really isn't much more to talk about since the CC event last month (and the organizer couldn't think up many activities that haven't already been done at the other 10 events). The attendees gradually leave until only the organizer remains. 1 hour into the event, the organizer gets tired of sitting there doing nothing, so they leave. 1.5 hours into the event, another cacher arrives. Not seeing anyone else there, they log that they attended and leave. The organizer, having not seen the above cacher at the event, deletes what they see as a bogus log. Drama ensues. Sure, that might not happen. I bet it does, though.

Here's the script I'd suggest. You'll need to break it up into different places in your code: --Put this line at the top of your cartridge require "math" --Put these into your author script section: images = {} talk = {} monk = 0 function cartMonkey:OnStart() --You need to rename this based on the name of your cartridge images={zmediapuzzle_msg, zmediapuzzle_msg, zmediagot_monkey, zmediapuzzle_msg, zmediapuzzle_msg} talk={"Go and Shake again.", "Great no Monkey!", "You just got a Monkey.", "Shake again.", "try again."} end function RandomMonkey() monk = monk +1 local r=math.random(table.getn(images)) Wherigo.MessageBox{Text=talk[r] .. " " .. monk, Media=images[r]} end As long as your code is in the author script section, Groundspeak's Builder application will not touch it. As for the above code, the cartridge's OnStart function will populate your images and talk arrays. I wasn't so sure your message's syntax was correct, so I revised that. Whenever you need to roll the proverbial dice and check for a monkey, you can call the RandomMonkey() function. I'm wondering if you got an error with your scripts because you didn't have any of that inside a function block. Also, here's a valuable tip (and an extreme word of caution): When I create code-heavy cartridges and need to debug them, I use the print() statement. This tells me what the variable values are and what my code is doing up to when it errors. Thus, you could use print() the following way: function RandomMonkey() print("RandomMonkey called") monk = monk +1 print("Number of monkeys: " .. monk) local r=math.random(table.getn(images)) print("Random number chosen: " .. r) Wherigo.MessageBox{Text=talk[r] .. " " .. monk, Media=images[r]} print("Message shown; exiting RandomMonkey") end Everything that goes through a print() call will show up on the second tab in the emulator. Thus, if your cartridge crashes, you'll know what all the values were up to that point--and where it crashed, if you use the print() statements correctly. Very, very helpful for the cartridges I like building. Remember I said there was a word of extreme caution? Well, as far as I can tell, the print() statement is only supported in the emulator, (probably) the PDA player (does anyone use that these days?), and the Garmin Colorado. What you print() should and will, of course, be ignored in the Players. However, some Players do not handle the print() statement. I know for a fact the Garmin Oregon will power off if it encounters one and the last version of PiGo will throw a message to the player, saying the function is not supported. (Later, PiGo should ignore this.) Thus, when you finish your testing, I strongly recommend you comment out (remember: lua doesn't take well to using apostrophes in comments) or remove all print() statements.

Recognizing that they're being impacted and reconsidering whether the change is really justified. Instead, all we get are people trying to talk them out of what they like. I'm pretty sure that TPTB know/recognize that cachers are being affected by their announced logging restrictions. Their official announcement was updated to clarify that they will not make exceptions for specific caches. I don't believe they would've made that clarification if they weren't aware of the discussions requesting exceptions for specific caches, and if they hadn't considered whether to make exceptions or not. I was speaking of sympathy from people here in this discussion, not from GS. I don't pretend to know what GS is thinking unless they tell me. In which case sympathy has been shown here in this thread for the impact on YOSM and brass caps. +1 I don't agree that "all we get are people trying to talk them out of what they like". There have been multiple cachers that have expressed sympathy that YOSM won't be able to continue as it has. Only a small number of cachers have seemed dismissive of YOSM fans' concerns, although they've posted multiple times in this thread and so maybe that has amplified their tone.

Actually, yes they do. I was asked by the BLM to Archive 3 of my EC's due to concerns regarding foot traffic to geologically sensitive areas (I was allowed to keep three others in less sensitive areas). These were EC's I had permission to place by the previous Resource Ranger, but was subsequently revoked due to impact concerns. It's there land to manage, so I grudgingly complied (courteously of course). My original point is that the EC Reviewers were merely complying with stated polices that are readily available in links I provided. If you have a problem with the policy, talk with the Land Manager to change it. There's nothing in their public facing document that addresses EC's or Virtual caches, so I can't blame the local and EC Reviewers of taking the default position that regulates physical caches. In other words, I would not presume. But as barefootjeff stated, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the situation.

Hello Fellow Geocachers! I saw and heard about the new Triton line, and on blind faith, I purchased a Triton 2000 just knowing that I made the right choice without all the research. As I assumed Magellan would build on the experience and feedback from how well the Explorist 600 worked, which I also own and use, would have all the features plus the ones we all have been waiting for! Well, I have played with mine for 3-4 days now, and did a comparative feature test between the Explorist 600 and the Triton 2000. For the Geocaching functions, as I have been using them for the last couple of years. I have to say , I love the look & feel, and the size. I have fairly large hands, so it fits me well. I like the stiff buttons as they will wear in I am sure. The Display is great! Even the touch screen works well! And the resolution is what I have been waiting for! I use a Palm Tungsten C to do my Paperless Geocaching, using CacheMate, and relied on the found function in the X600 which date and time stamped my Found caches for the logging order. The ability to use Geocache waypoint files and as many as the SD card would hold, always made a great way to cache in specific locations. Just create another Center in GSAK, and boom 200 caches in a file called the caching location typically. Even the Map management was pretty much the same process. Crunch a Map in Mapsend Direct Route then load it in USB file transfer mode. The deal here is the USB function in the X600, it made the SD card look like a hard drive directly to the O/S. Well,, I am really hoping they are not finished with the programming of features, as it needs some work to get the features needed to make this an Awesome Hand Held. I must have read the Forums for hours in the last 3-4 days too, and I didn't really see any technical comparisons between the explorist features and the Triton features, and decided to break my Lurker status and make a contribution. Since there are a lot of things to talk about and consider, lets break it out in sections. I will not talk so much about the Camera, MP3 and Media functions, I want to talk about what is fundamental to All Magellans from the SporTrak Color my first, to the eXplorist 500/600 which I have fully used all features. Lets start with the basics from out of the box. All parts were in the box. Neatly packed. I put in the 2 Alkaline Batteries that came in the box, and powered on the Unit. I didn't even crack open the Manual yet. I being a Techno Geek, I like to hack my way through the Interface as a Discovery of features and screens. Read the Manual when you get stuck. In about 3 hours the batteries were dead. I then broke out the NiHD's. The loss of the Proprietary battery pack is a real bummer! The Triton now takes individual AA cells again, and NO Charging circuit in the unit! This means your back to carrying Rechargeable again. The unit behaves like the SporTrak Color in this respect. It will use power from the cable when connected in USB mode or in a cradle with a Cig lighter cable, and saves batteries. Some do like the ability to use the Recharable AA's so this Unit is for you in that respect. I switched between some of the screens and landed on the Satellite screen, which was already acquiring Sats. I backed up a couple of screens to the Compass, and figured out how to calibrate it in a few minutes. This was a bit clunky, and the firmware did a Dr Watson like crash, and I had to power off and power back on using the power switch. Where did the leveling bubble go??? Sure miss that, how do I know my surface is level? Naa, I field hand rotate them and works fine! Who cares if it is level! Yes it matters! No biggy at this point, I went right back to the calibration. It is a bit harder than the X600, but easier than the SporTrak Color which was quite temperamental. Ok, got the Compass calibrated, and did my compass rose in my backyard checking various predetermined land marks and checked my placement with the North star. So this test passed, and seemed ok. I then moved on to some of the basic configuration like the mapping and coordinate system. Well after reading the manual, and playing with the settings, I was freaking out as I could not get the unit to do (DEG MM.MMM). This is the Geocaching standard! YikeS! So, I set aside the coordinate thing for a bit and looked over the create waypoints, and Geocaches. I then soon realized, this unit is not usable out of the box. Hmm, well, I didn't let that stop me, so I then started to get all my software together, hunkered down for an in depth Tech troubleshooting session. I noted a file transfer mode on the connectivity section, and could not get the O/S to discover the hardware. So I was not sure what to expect yet, since I could not talk to the Unit. I didn't bother with VantagePoint on the Disk that came with the Unit, I downloaded the latest from Magellangps.com. This was common in the forums. Installed VantagePoint and got the Unit talking right away. VantagePoint holds all the communications Drivers for the Unit. And it connected right away. So now I was connected to the Unit, and it was reporting the 1.11 version of firmware installed. I discovered the update button on the tool bar and upgraded the Firmware in the Unit. Restarted the Unit, and the look and feel of certain sections have changed, and things seem to be faster. The file transfer function was eliminated, which means to me, that the direct access to structured file systems is gone. At least for now. Ok, that just means they decided to run a flat file system on the SD card blind. BTW, which I am using a SanDisk 4Gig in this unit. After running the upgrade, the size reported by the Unit is still 878M Initial Memory size of the SD card. This problem existed before the firmware upgrade to 1.14 and Still exists. So this is Bug #1. Later, I examined the memory detail after loading several Maps, Waypoints and it says I have nothing installed, but the memory free had dropped. Ok, back to the coordinates system! Thank goodness for this Upgrade as it fixed the coordinate system problems I had. I am now running WGS84 with lat/long set to accuracy of (Deg MM.MMM). So far so good. Now I was really ready to test the accuracy of the Unit. I went out back and snapped a couple of coordinates in a relatively short amount of time. Setting from "current location" and from a "point on Map" are quick and painless. The stories of marking a new point and modifying it with the input interface in dozens of taps easy when modifying a whole waypoint are true. The interface does work though. This is where the touch screen works well with data Entry and the tiny stylus that comes with the Unit. In fact, you get a little five pack of styli in the box! As others have said in the posts, the accuracy is Great! I was within 3-6 feet of each "Created Waypoint" They no longer call it "Marking", but traditionally that is what it is. I even checked one of my own caches I had set a couple of years ago down the street. It was within 15 feet of the posted coordinates. I even snapped a new waypoint and set a new Point-to-Point route to the new waypoint and was dead on at the cache, and only drifted around 3 feet!! Next I created a Geocache. Now that is cool! I will get back to that in a bit later. Next, I wanted to see what VantagePoint did on importing GPX files full of Geocaches. Let me just Say Johnny Vegas's concern about the hierarchical file system missing are founded. You can no longer access the SD cards like a USB thumb Drive. VantagePoint is the only way to get stuff on and off the Unit. I Played half the night trying to see what the limitations are with the Goecache Management, and it needs a lot of work. Maggie, Neat who ever coined the term, Magellan, needs to learn a few tricks that Clyde has learned with GSAK. The performance is very slow, and there is no sense of center, and shows by distance makes no sense. I agree with one post, why deal with the logs if you are not going to even deal with the descriptions. The linkage back to GC.com is sufficient for me. That would be a Great feature, to have the Descriptions, but the info level is fine for geocaching in my opinion. I just want to be able to mark them found and export that back to GSAK where there are Macros to semi-automate the online experience. There appears to be a serious limitation in the number of Geocaches you can put into VantagePoint. The largest file it can process I have discovered so far is 1000. But any subsequent loads for more, error out. I will need to test the limit later. I at one time had 25,000 Geocaches in GSAK and those all fit on My Palm. There is enough memory in the unit and on the SD card to do wonders! So, Lets talk about the Map monument and How the map loading works. I have Mapsend Direct Route V2.00 I have had since I had my SporTrak Color and also used it on My eXplorist 600. The process is different for creating the Maps for the X600 than the SporTrak Color, and the Triton is the same in this respect as the X600. The Serial Numbering scheme and how you serialize the Maps when creating regions is the same as the X600. I use the Write to Disk method. The V2.00 product allows you to mate up with 3 Units. I used one mating on the Triton 2000 with no problem! I grabbed a Region with Californian And Nevada, Arizona. Both States in full on one region is about an 83Meg Map. I then moved the Map to the VantagePoint working Directory and added the Map into VantagePoint, and it Popped a message, Map Authorized, and Initialized! This was Great! I then pushed the map to the Triton 2000 in about 15 minutes. After it loaded, I shutdown VantagePoint to disconnect and loaded the Map. Wooo Hooo! This was Great! I now have a Detailed map, and it was performing very well! Within a couple of seconds switching between screens as if it didn't really notice the size of the Detailed Map. So far so good. I decided to test the Routing functions I fiddled around and poked through the screens, and low and behold, I can't figure out how to do a Street Route. Every time I set a Waypoint or Geocache, it only ever goes into point to point mode. So Bug #2. All Routing functions are none existent. NOOOO! This can't be. How am I to Route to Geocaches? This is a SHOW STOPPER! Well, I decided to keep going and see where the Geocache management lead. I read out on the Tritonforum.com site, and found some of the limitations that had floated around, and the Triton 2000 is suppose to hold 2000 Geocaches! That is a lot! I didn't know this limit when I tested the Geocache portion, as I only put in 500 and it took them! Well, with the trouble I am having with the limits in VantagePoint, I can't seem to get 2000 on the Unit. The Forums suggested a limit of 300 for now, but I did get 500 on the Unit. It just was not stable after that. It seems to be running ok with 100 at the moment. This was carved from another Post by gulo, on tritonforum.com. There are certain limits of how many user objects can be uploaded on the device: Triton 200/300: 500 WPT, 500 GC, 20 Routes/25 points each. Triton 400/500: 1000 WPT, 1000 GC, 40 Routes/25 points each. Triton 1500/2000: 2000 WPT, 2000 GC, 40 Routes/50 points each But now for the Deal Breaker for most of you out there. The Paperless aspects for the Geocaches is None existent! No way to mark them found! You can edit the Icon, waypoint name, lat/long, difficulty in whole unit steps only, (The X600 shows them in half steps), Hint and that is it. You can add and delete them, but you can't mark them as found. Cachemate in a Palm is still your best friend. The names are also broken on the maps. I have names set to on for Geocaches in the detailed map settings, but the hover is the only thing that works. This is a cool feature of the touch screen. You touch a cache or scroll and hover, and it pops the whole name in a shadow. This is also the same behavior for all POI's. Show waypoint names seems to work ok, in Hiking profile where I have that set. There is a Geocache Icon setting for unfound/All/Off in the Map settings, which suggests I can make them Found, so maybe I overlooked the function in the Manual, which I referred to quite a bit after my initial out of box experience. The Unit having 500 Geocaches in it became unstable, and the detailed map page was taking 10-15 seconds to change to the Map screen and I can consistently crash the unit pressing and holding the "Page Go to" button, so I think it is trying to render all the geocaching Icons is why the slow screen transition to and from the map page. Once I reduced the amount to 100, the Unit seemed to work without any problems, and I had read one post that indicated stability up to 300 Geocaches. The Unit needs to be able to manage a lot to be a viable unit. The Search functions for both Geocaches and waypoints are broken. Major Bug #3! The Nearest function is completely broken, as some have said. Clearly the orientation on the map is correct, but the list is sorting on stuff miles away. The name sort is the only one that works. Getting the Geocaches on and off the unit in mass is very difficult and the synch function took hours to resynch several hundred caches off the unit, which is the only effective way to do it. There is a mass delete function in VantagePoint but not on the unit. Tracks. Hmm,, There was some discussion I saw on this too, and the Tracks Interface Must be broken. I would not believe that it didn't work just like the other structures for Caches, Waypoints and Routes. You can save the current track with a filename, but the filenames are not present in the display. VantagePoint sees them, and the names of them. You can synch them and delete them from VantagePoint, but have no control at the Unit. The tracks once saved, can be shared. I will try and get a Nemesis hike converted and posted for a Demo. That is how they seem to appear at this time. So you build a trail and view it as a Track. These are colored blue. Purple is the point to point line color and yellow is the deviation color. Track is orange. I did a trip to work and back with it just watching the track performance, and it stopped tracking after a while. I think they got the limit all wrong?, and I remember the X600 had 2000 points per track, and it just wrapped after the 2000. This track should be way less than 2000 points for just 50 miles of travel. I can go from here in the North Bay in California, to San Luis Obispo, and the X600 would hold the whole track. Ooops, I reset the unit again after another lockup, and now the track is showing again the whole way. Well, looks like there are more then just Track Management problems, as the tracking itself looks buggy. VantagePoint could use some features too in the management of caches going on the Unit. They have a clunky single checkbox selection system per cache. There needs to be a "Select all" "Unselect all" option at a minimum. Who wants to go through 2000 caches selecting and deselecting to get the ones you want? This is where the X600 and the individual Geocache files has a huge advantage. I am attempting the Max load now. I exported 2000 unfound caches into a gpx file, and by my calculations, it will take VantagePoint alone 2.2 hours to complete. I hope they go in the unit faster than that. I would never get to go Caching. Arg! Well, it didn't work as I had said earlier. Well, so far battery life is not that great. I can get about 6 hours, with the backlight set to low, turning off the backlight while not using the Unit. It could be my NiHD's are old. I heard there are some new L-ion AA batteries on the market, and I hear they have some good capacity. So that may be the ticket for long battery life. Be prepared on a 10-12 hour hike to bring a couple of spare sets. Another quirky comparison is when a X600 is cradled with power, the unit will stay bright on backlight until you select the brightness level. If not cradled, it defaults to the 30 second timer I had set in the Unit. The way the Triton behaves at this point is different. I also have the backlight to auto turn off after 30 seconds, and when the Unit is first initialized, it turns off the backlight after 30 seconds of idle time. But if you touch or change the brightness, the default 30 second timer when running on batteries no longer shuts off the backlight after 30 seconds. It stays at the level you set it until next Unit initialization time. Well, the bottom line is the Unit has lots of potential, and I hope Magellan listens to us beta testers, that they have some work to do, and that these units could really rock! lets hope they do the right thing. BTW, I also loaded the Yosemite free Topo NG map that came on the CD with the Unit. It was self upgrading and was able to talk to the Unit Directly. Which means they have an Interface Specification available, so Clyde from GSAK can have a way to talk to the Units some day. All the posts about the maps not being Free are true. You have to have the Activated CD's to get the maps. But they work, and look nice! Their is only support for level 4 and Level 5 detail at this time. In the mean time, I will open some online support requests to get some feedback from Magellan. I am also hoping others will read my post, and see there is hope, but more work to be done. If anybody had direct access to any of the Magellan Reps, have them read my post. I am also more then willing to be a beta tester or try anything cachers want me to look at. I know this will generate some questions too. So lets hear from you! Have a Great day! MR

I've done a nerd nite talk before, but not on geocaching - though I was thinking about doing that. I'd say it would depend on your slant. You can do a 101-style teaching talk, focusing how it works and how to get started, or you could focus on the fun and adventures you can have while geocaching (sharing your love for it) such that you could inspire more people to look into it themselves But yeah, I'd start off broad - share your best or most talk-worthy experience to grab their attention, then move into why, then how. If you have info about high tech geocaches, I'd definitely include some of those (some German caches, night caching, UV/LED/IR/Beacon types, etc). Attempt a brief technical description of how GPS works, what devices have GPS, and why some brands are better than others. I'd end off tongue in cheek showing samples of the run-of-the-mill stuff that most people hate Good to end on a light note, so you could joke about LPCs perhaps That's how I'd structure it at least. I wouldn't come at it from an 'intro course' slant - in the NN atmosphere it may be apt to focus on entertaining more than educating (because geocaching!), while providing enough info to get started (and definitely inform that you'd be glad to help people get started if they want more info or to try it out themselves!) I only recommend entertain over educate because I see the NN environment as about sharing your passion, what it is you love about what you're talking about But ultimately, it's up to you!

This is not an announcement of a fix. This is just about what I believe is the cause. In technical terms, Groundspeak discontinued their WCF service earlier this year, replacing it with a REST API. Developers had a year's advance notice to update their applications. In non-technical terms, Groundspeak updated the way applications talk to their services; the Wherigo application, which is not maintained directly by Groundspeak, was not updated. When using the app, I've always just downloaded cartridges via a browser instead of directly through the app. I can also download them from the WF site or through my NAS (think like Dropbox or Google Drive, but with about 36TB currently at my control and room to double it). Either spstanley will update the app or the entire Wherigo developer community will wait to see if Groundspeak wants us to do anything with Wherigo.

Another thing to consider, winter sun in snowy areas has almost twice the UV as snow reflects almost 95% (talk to some mountaineer's that have gotten sunburn on the roof of the mouth from panting on a snow/glacier climb or up the nostrils).

That's pretty unrealistic both for me personally and for new cachers (even if they are extrovert and dare to write such notes). In my case, I would not end up with going for the hike with the people I'd like to talk to. If the hike is the official event, then there is at least some effort at least for a while to adapt the pace to slower ones. If I asked for a group hike, certainly not those I'd like to talk to would make an offer as they are so much faster than myself. If the official part of the event is the sitting around at the hut (or somewhere else), the argument will be if someone wants to talk to them, this someone can do that there, but I simply do not enjoy such type of situations. I do not care at all about smileys. My frustration comes from an entirely different direction. Oh, you didn't? There is a big difference between disapproving something/someone and not warmly welcoming it/someone. Also my statement about lame attended logs is not based on disapproving and is a weaker statement. Being someone for whom attended and found it is somehow something of the type mission accomplished (that's why I have chosen to wrote a number of notes for caches where I signed the log book), I cannot help to regard attended logs for a 2 minute visit or a visit to a hiking event without hike as lame. I do not claim to speak for everyone (not even for anyone except myself) and I have often stressed that I belong to a minority. In some cases I wrote about my personal preferences and opinions (and mentioned so) and in some cases I wrote about opinions of others I got to know or felt the need to defend the German geocaching community (sometimes continental European community in other contexts) which consists of many individuals of which only a small number writes arm chair logs. Many of the attacks with respect to German cachers are unfair. I see it as a change and not as a clarification. Apparently you do not understand my point. I will give up.

So I did talk with the "culprit" briefly at school and he said he put one of the geocaches back, probably the one that had the logbook he held up to my face. I'm going to talk to him with my advisor today, and hopefully he will stop before his behavior goes to far, he's also going to say his part as well so I will let you know his side

No i dont blame anyone but you cant tell me you can search for a cache without leaving search marks or without trespassing maybe prohibited property... And you talk in one person, i talk in manny persons who seek on the wrong places because of the fact there puzzle answers is wrong.