ThePolarBear
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Posts posted by ThePolarBear
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We're going to try to make it at 6 am on Sunday. How long is this rain supposed to last? I didn't even know it was going to rain--I thought it was summer already!
Sunday: Abundant sunshine. Highs in the low 70s and lows in the low 40s.
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It only counts if you find him before I do...
Dibs on the Colorado!!!
How thoughtful of you, James. I will likely be carrying my new Colorado 300, if that will help. I will try to have some cash with me as well, and perhaps a large plastic bag to assist with the CITO of the remains.
I expect that I will be out there on Saturday morning (OK, Saturday early-afternoon -- what is it with this "start at 6am business"??? Don't you people know that mornings are for sleeping?) Anyway, I wanted to suggest to Snake that he can increase the chances of a successful recovery (of the remains) by ensuring that there is plenty of good swag available for the finders...
That means the FTF prize on your corpse would be a free GPSR! mmmmmmmmmmmThe slithering part of us has tentative plans on being out there Saturday morning. Should I become food for a hungry mountain lion, or in some other way become incapacitated, and you find my chomped and scattered bones while caching, please notify my NOK. She will likely enjoy spending the insurance money
James, are you going by yourself? In that case you probably should heed your own advice and bring some good swag for us to collect - ehm.. I mean CITO.
Don't forget to pack the CITO bag More often than not, I am solo when venturing into MTRP. I always have some sort of container suitable for CITO but as far as swag goes, it's luck of the draw -- sometimes good, sometimes not. (It depends to some degree upon whose remains I find in my travels.)
You are right, though. I probably should follow my own advice!
In the meantime, listen to what I say, not what I do...That settles it - if we find the Colorado and the cash we'll CITO the area for Snake's remains and we'll make an immediate courtesy call to NOK.
However, if James goes out with empty pockets I guess we'll have to leave him there - hey, we got caches to find. Well, we can mark the area as a POI and notify authorities after we log our finds. Of course, if he happens to carry some good swag it will be a different story...
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Dibs on the Colorado!!!
That means the FTF prize on your corpse would be a free GPSR! mmmmmmmmmmmThe slithering part of us has tentative plans on being out there Saturday morning. Should I become food for a hungry mountain lion, or in some other way become incapacitated, and you find my chomped and scattered bones while caching, please notify my NOK. She will likely enjoy spending the insurance moneyI expect that I will be out there on Saturday morning (OK, Saturday early-afternoon -- what is it with this "start at 6am business"??? Don't you people know that mornings are for sleeping?) Anyway, I wanted to suggest to Snake that he can increase the chances of a successful recovery (of the remains) by ensuring that there is plenty of good swag available for the finders...
How thoughtful of you, James. I will likely be carrying my new Colorado 300, if that will help. I will try to have some cash with me as well, and perhaps a large plastic bag to assist with the CITO of the remains.
It only counts if you find him before I do...
James, are you going by yourself? In that case you probably should heed your own advice and bring some good swag for us to collect - ehm.. I mean CITO.
Don't forget to pack the CITO bag -
That means the FTF prize on your corpse would be a free GPSR! mmmmmmmmmmmThe slithering part of us has tentative plans on being out there Saturday morning. Should I become food for a hungry mountain lion, or in some other way become incapacitated, and you find my chomped and scattered bones while caching, please notify my NOK. She will likely enjoy spending the insurance money
I expect that I will be out there on Saturday morning (OK, Saturday early-afternoon -- what is it with this "start at 6am business"??? Don't you people know that mornings are for sleeping?) Anyway, I wanted to suggest to Snake that he can increase the chances of a successful recovery (of the remains) by ensuring that there is plenty of good swag available for the finders...
How thoughtful of you, James. I will likely be carrying my new Colorado 300, if that will help. I will try to have some cash with me as well, and perhaps a large plastic bag to assist with the CITO of the remains.
Dibs on the Colorado!!!
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Do you have an idea of a start time and total miles for the day?
I'm in for hiking. I wouldn't be able to keep up on my push-bike.
GreasePot
Is anyone going to be out hiking and caching this weekend?
Yep, I do!!! I'm planning on all the new caches in MTRP on the North side of 52 on Sunday. Anybody want to come??? Either hike or (push?) bike - I'm good for both.
I want to start no later than 8 in the morning - it'll be an all day hike. Roundtrip - I'm guessing 7+ miles in hilly terrain. Start from Mast blvd trailhead.
These are the caches (in planned order) for a total of 14:
Another Hill, Another Cache - GC1931Q
Qualitative Materiel Development Objective - GC1999Z
Kimchee - GC1999F
Economic Order Quantity - GC1998Y
A Cache Too Far? - GC1998M
Take Cover! - GC19989
Urgent Priority - GC1997W
Rest Stop for Old People - GC198AG
The Last Star? - GC1931Y
Farther Than The Farthest Star - GC1932B
I Need Water - GC1932M
Borderline - GC1984F
Cup of GI Joe - GC1932Q
MTRP 2006 Cache War - Harmon's Trail of Tears - GC1932V
I talked with ThePolarBear and I am hoping to start this loop around 6am on Sunday morning. Anyone interested in a nice bright and early wake up call?
There could be one problem with 6 am start - the gate to Mast blvd parking lot does not open that early (at least not in the past). Does anybody know when the gate opens?
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Do you talk alot when you get tired...and maybe let key words slip out????
Do I talk alot when I get tired? -No, I talk alot when I've had a few beers - bring a keg!
pft and you don't even ask me.... The man with 10 kegs full of beer at home....
Let's party!!!
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Do you talk alot when you get tired...and maybe let key words slip out????Do I talk alot when I get tired? -No, I talk alot when I've had a few beers - bring a keg!
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Do you have an idea of a start time and total miles for the day?
I'm in for hiking. I wouldn't be able to keep up on my push-bike.
GreasePot
Is anyone going to be out hiking and caching this weekend?
Yep, I do!!! I'm planning on all the new caches in MTRP on the North side of 52 on Sunday. Anybody want to come??? Either hike or (push?) bike - I'm good for both.
I want to start no later than 8 in the morning - it'll be an all day hike. Roundtrip - I'm guessing 7+ miles in hilly terrain. Start from Mast blvd trailhead.
These are the caches (in planned order) for a total of 14:
Another Hill, Another Cache - GC1931Q
Qualitative Materiel Development Objective - GC1999Z
Kimchee - GC1999F
Economic Order Quantity - GC1998Y
A Cache Too Far? - GC1998M
Take Cover! - GC19989
Urgent Priority - GC1997W
Rest Stop for Old People - GC198AG
The Last Star? - GC1931Y
Farther Than The Farthest Star - GC1932B
I Need Water - GC1932M
Borderline - GC1984F
Cup of GI Joe - GC1932Q
MTRP 2006 Cache War - Harmon's Trail of Tears - GC1932V
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Is anyone going to be out hiking and caching this weekend?
Yep, I do!!! I'm planning on all the new caches in MTRP on the North side of 52 on Sunday. Anybody want to come??? Either hike or (push?) bike - I'm good for both.
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New Stats!!!
The top 3 scores belong to (nothing new solved yet):
13 f/v = LLOT, devhead, FM, TT, rjb
12 f = D!
9 f/v = lulu499, Triple Crown, HiDude_98
I'll post stats again when something new is solved.
Stats by Cache
Found:
Solved but not found:
None
Unsolved:
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Stats by Cacher
lulu499
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
mmcgr
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
devhead
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays (Co-FTF)
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe (Co-FTF)
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
The Dillon Gang
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays (Co-FTF)
Unknown_2_You
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Beta Eagle 1
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi (FTF)
Teco #3 - Odd! (FTF)
Teco #5 - Say what?!? (FTF)
QDman
Teco #4 - The Wave (FTF)
PQGeoTrekkers
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers (FTF)
cache_kid
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe (Co-FTF)
Duncan!
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Let's Look Over Thayer
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking (FTF)
Teco #8 - Dominoes (FTF)
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami (FTF)
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube (FTF)
Thunder-4
Teco #9 - Birthdays (Co-FTF)
trapperjre
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
rjbloom & co
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ??? (FTF)
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
jklotch
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Triple Crown
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
jac20
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
warmouse4000
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #9 - Birthdays
SlowWalker
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
FlagMan
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
karstenerik
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Slowtroll
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
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Virtual Finds
This is for cachers that cannot get to the physical cache (out-of-town etc.) but like to solve puzzles. Just send me an e-mail with the correctly solved coordinates and you get a virtual find. Consider it a "honorary" find and you can get FTS.
TucsonThompsen
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays (FTS)
Teco #10 - Origami (FTS)
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
ZSandmann
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
HiDude_98
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ??? (FTS)
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Honking for Dummies ...
Honk if you know where this is.
Honk!
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My bad
- I found a puny error in Teco #13 - Stuck so I corrected/updated the cache listing. I also lowered the Difficulty with 1/2 a star... should be easy to solve now (or not)... -
Congrats also to Beta Eagle 1 who hit 9
this week. Way to go Beta Eagle 1 on 900
The Eagle is soaring...
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Got this off the Socal web site
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Does it apply to married men too???
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New Stats!!!
The new top 3 scores (nothing new solved yet):
LLOT, devhead, FM, TT 13 finds/virtuals
D! 10 finds
lulu499, Triple Crown, HiDude_98 9 finds/virtuals
Stats by Cache
Found:
Solved but not found:
None
Unsolved:
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Stats by Cacher
lulu499
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
mmcgr
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
devhead
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays (Co-FTF)
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe (Co-FTF)
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
The Dillon Gang
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays (Co-FTF)
Unknown_2_You
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Beta Eagle 1
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi (FTF)
Teco #3 - Odd! (FTF)
Teco #5 - Say what?!? (FTF)
QDman
Teco #4 - The Wave (FTF)
PQGeoTrekkers
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers (FTF)
cache_kid
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe (Co-FTF)
Duncan!
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Let's Look Over Thayer
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking (FTF)
Teco #8 - Dominoes (FTF)
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami (FTF)
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube (FTF)
Thunder-4
Teco #9 - Birthdays (Co-FTF)
trapperjre
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
rjbloom & co
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ??? (FTF)
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
jklotch
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Triple Crown
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
jac20
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
warmouse4000
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #9 - Birthdays
SlowWalker
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
FlagMan
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
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Virtual Finds
This is for cachers that cannot get to the physical cache (out-of-town etc.) but like to solve puzzles. Just send me an e-mail with the correctly solved coordinates and you get a virtual find. Consider it an "honorary" find and you can get FTS.
TucsonThompsen
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #7 - Ranking
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #9 - Birthdays (FTS)
Teco #10 - Origami (FTS)
Teco #11 - ???
Teco #15 - Tic-Tac-Toe
Teco #17 - Cubik's Rube
ZSandmann
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
HiDude_98
Teco #1 - Warm-Up
Teco #2 - Sci-Fi
Teco #3 - Odd!
Teco #4 - The Wave
Teco #5 - Say what?!?
Teco #6 - Brain Teasers
Teco #8 - Dominoes
Teco #10 - Origami
Teco #11 - ??? (FTS)
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All I can say is to read the last riddle page carefully. It is literally riddled (I had to say it
) with hints and you'll find what you seek there.I hate to say it but repeating the above statement over and over is doing nothing to improve our ability to comprehend the unobvious. We have been reading and re-reading the last riddle page carefully for a month now and, though what we seek may actually be there, the fact remains we have not found it inspite of all the careful reading (and rereading).
Wait just a second LLOT..it's just a matter of time before he caves in and gives another nudge.( please forgive me James..I couldn't resist)
I personally would read every word. Well, you can skip conjunctions since they are fairly ineffectual. Prepositions, however, should not be ignored especially if it indicates the temporal, spatial or logical relationship of its object to the rest of the sentence, which in turn makes the prepositional phrase even more important. What about noun phrases you might ask?!? I'm not really using them but be careful about adverbs that inadvertently describes the object, i.e. the clue.
I hope this helps and not considered a spoiler...
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All I can say is to read the last riddle page carefully. It is literally riddled (I had to say it
) with hints and you'll find what you seek there.I hate to say it but repeating the above statement over and over is doing nothing to improve our ability to comprehend the unobvious. We have been reading and re-reading the last riddle page carefully for a month now and, though what we seek may actually be there, the fact remains we have not found it inspite of all the careful reading (and rereading).
Polar Bears look so nice and cuddly with that pure white fur and everything, but in reality they can be quite mean and nasty -- one might even say
evil -- without the slightest sympathy for our predicament... I picture him tossing his head back and letting out a sinister laugh as he reads this, fully satisfied that his particular brand of torture is playing itself out perfectly according to plan. Puzzlers of the world unite, I say! There's work to be done, and retribution to be planned! As we once did with another evil one, we must turn our thoughts to the annihilation of the Oso -- eviction from paradise -- it is essential to the survival of our race... He may be winning this little battle, but the war is far from lost...On the other hand, we could just continue to beg for hints...
At least my coords are spot on...
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I've received several requests to confirm/check etc. on Teco #19 - Riddles.
All I can say is to read the last riddle page carefully. It is literally riddled (I had to say it
) with hints and you'll find what you seek there.Good Luck to all of you!
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I'd like to send out a big stargnoc to:
Chuy for 5800
Dillon Gang for 3600 (slow down m8)
Eric & Hill for 1100
Hof05 for 1K
and rumor has it, some Canadian Grl found her first 100 +34...
Let's not forget Fattboy for being such a stud!
WTG Y'all!!!
WOOT!! Congratz Ya'll!!
I'll Second That!!! -
--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Chuck B @ Feb 1 2008, 11:57 AM) 3293508[/snapback]</div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->
...But from what we saw in the volunteer's newsletter, and confirmed by a volunteer that caches, the practice is endorsed by the Park staff. Is it presumptious to believe the Park staff has the authority to stop said action and/or have the containers turned over to the Park staff for them to make the containers available for it's owners to pick them up?
Generally that's the law when it comes to abandoned property. Caches are not abandoned but that particular law is broad enough to cover caches in most jurisdictions. Litter is the wrong law (again the specific wording for this jurisdiction is key, but in general caches don't fit most litter laws) based on discussions with an Assistant US District Attorney that I've had on another matter related to caching.
Just as there is no higher purpose for caches to annoy park staff over the issue, there is no higher purpose to park staff annoying their caching public.
I'm curious why Renegade Knight and Team Cotati who I assume live in Idaho and Northern California have become experts on ABDSP? I guess I'ts their right to use the forums, but this is more of a local issue for cachers who use the Anza Borrego Desert State Park. Would you two please explain this for me.
I find RK comments to be helpful in the discussion of the park, all of TC's are just snide and condescending and do not add anything.
Amen to that!!!!
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Updated cache listing for Teco #16 - Numbers.
It should be easier to get the concept!
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Added hint to Teco #19 - Riddles
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Added hint to Teco 18 - Memories...
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Here's a photo of what those guys may have looked like....The geocache the previous post refers to, "It's in the can..." was placed within a railroad-related historic can scatter. A historic site, dating back 50+ years.
Kind of looks like that one feller is going to have a headache pretty soon...
Do you talk alot when you get tired...and maybe let key words slip out????
- I found a puny error in Teco #13 - Stuck so I corrected/updated the cache listing. I also lowered the Difficulty with 1/2 a star... should be easy to solve now (or not)...
) with hints and you'll find what you seek there.
Wait just a second LLOT..it's just a matter of time before he caves in and gives another nudge.
) with hints and you'll find what you seek there.
San Diego Banter
in West and Southwest
Posted
New Element Discovered
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has beeen named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 199 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction which would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more common morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred as to Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.