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ThePolarBear

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  1. Nerd Overpopulation This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "Nerds Not Allowed - Enter At Your Own Risk!" He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says, "You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?" The truck driver says, "I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I am hauling." The bartender says, "Okay, truck drivers are not nerds." and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver said, totally shocked, "Why did you do that?" The bartender said, "Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license." The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers. They are all engineers, accountants and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, "What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season." "Well, sure," said the patrolman. "But you can't bait 'em."
  2. Popular Sayings, modified by the Internet - Home is where you hang your @ - The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. - You can't teach a new mouse old clicks. - Great groups from little icons grow. - Speak softly and carry a cellular phone. - C: is the root of all directories. - Don't put all your hypes in one home page. - Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish. - The modem is the message. - Too many clicks spoil the browse. - The geek shall inherit the earth. - A chat has nine lives. - Don't byte off more than you can view. - Fax is stranger than fiction. - What boots up must come down. - Windows will never cease. - In Gates we trust. - Virtual reality is its own reward. - Modulation in all things. - A user and his leisure time are soon parted. - Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks. - There's no place like http://www.home.com - Know what to expect before you connect. - Oh, what a tangled Web site we weave when first we practice. - Speed thrills.
  3. If you really want to do something memorable try IHO: Eric and Hill - Crazy Adventures. You can ride your bikes close to all WPs, but I recommend that you do it on a weekend because of all the traffic.
  4. Eric of 'Eric and Hill' underwent acute appendicitis surgery last night. He's doing well and is expected to be released sometime tomorrow 5/14. This will definitely qualify him for the M*A*S*H event - especially if he can bring his appendix in. Get well soon buddy!!!
  5. Hooray! Now you don't have to use two PQs to get all the caches for a 24 hour power trail record attempt! Gosh, did I miss a record attempt? Yep! I was going for a new record of 780 caches found in a 24 hour period. It was close but I didn't quite make it. I was 769 caches short of the mark. I probably shouldn't have slept in... Well, your numbers are not that terribly off compared to the German dude that said "The Third Reich will last a thousand years!" He was only off by 988 years... and now he's taking a long nap...
  6. I did and I answered it. I answered it too... May I ask what you suggested??? I suggested that Virtuals come back, but with restrictions - only in National Parks etc where physical caches are prohibited and also where it's difficult to do maintenance of a cache. Meaning, it has to be in a place less traveled (such as mountain tops). For my wish list for improvements to the site itself, I would love a feature where I can select an area on a map and make a PQ of the caches inside it. I dont like the circular selection PQs make now. If I want all of Tecolote Canyon I have to delete several caches outside the canyon. Also (and this should be do-able), on Geocaching.com Google Maps, when clicking a cache and the little window pops up, add "Download a GPX file." Well, that's my $0.02...
  7. I did and I answered it. I answered it too... May I ask what you suggested??? I suggested that Virtuals come back, but with restrictions - only in National Parks etc where physical caches are prohibited and also where it's difficult to do maintenance of a cache. Meaning, it has to be in a place less traveled (such as mountain tops). For my wish list for improvements to the site itself, I would love a feature where I can select an area on a map and make a PQ of the caches inside it. I dont like the circular selection PQs make now. If I want all of Tecolote Canyon I have to delete several caches outside the canyon. Also (and this should be do-able), on Geocaching.com Google Maps, when clicking a cache and the little window pops up, add "Download a GPX file." Well, that's my $0.02...
  8. That's Punny, Part 2... 17. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired. 18. What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!) 19. A backwards poet writes inverse. 20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 21. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. 22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. 23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. 24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart. 26. A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine. 27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. 28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed. 29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large. 30. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. 31. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine . 32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye. 33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
  9. That's Punny Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating -- always use condiments. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. Without geometry, life is pointless. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
  10. I got an e-mail from GC.com that asked me to fill out a survey - did anybody else get it???
  11. Honk! Not sure exactly where you are standing but you must be on or near Mt. Whitney. The lake is Guitar Lake... Ten points to LLOT! I finally finished my hiking blog climbing the 14ers last summer. If you're interested you can read about it. http://www.thepolarbear.us/ You can even go on virtual hikes in Google Earth...
  12. O.k, I'll name it Harmon Lake. Much better choice than "Finger" Lake, but not correct... O sure, Fanger Lake as in Tioga Pass ... I knew that. My other answer as taught to me by my momma was "Right before the at." Nope! Not in Tioga Pass... Think of a musical instrument... (Hint! It's not a violin.)
  13. O.k, I'll name it Harmon Lake. Much better choice than "Finger" Lake, but not correct...
  14. Honk if you know where this is at! Extra points if you can name that lake...
  15. You know what's missing? A HOF cache for those that complete all of these HOF caches! Yeah, can't wait to see who makes it on the Super HOF list!! Something tells me it's going to be hard to clear out Tecolote Canyon...
  16. Everybody had a great time, except Harmon of course... because he wasn't there... He sure must have had something better to do than risk his life - again!
  17. MENSA and the Washington Post awards. The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2009 winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a******. 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7.. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer, right? 12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido : All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. --------------------------------------------- The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon , n... A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
  18. Honk! Man Patrick.... those jelly donuts are getting to you, if we stood on that rock now adays it may not hold us! Hmmm... I guess there is only one way to find that out...
  19. And to continue on the same level of sophistication... One who farts in church gets to sit in own pew Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok Stand on toilet, get high on pot You swim in a swimsuit, jog in a jogging suit, smoke in a smoking jacket - why wear a windbreaker?
  20. Here's one more (but not as clean): You get the best deals at Sofa King, because the prices are Sofa King low.
  21. Creative Puns for the Educated Mind 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it tuned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his orders. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownaparte. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head." 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep Off the Grass." 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet." 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 20. Don't join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects!
  22. Following the arrow is a surefire way to get PO in Tecolote Canyon. Oh, sure. Now you tell me... Sorry... Thought it was common knowledge.
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