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Harmon, I'd like to get your expert opinion on

. What the guy says makes a lot of sense but I've never used Adobe Illustrator.

Hey ol' buddy, thanks for asking. Image forensics is near and

dear to me and takes up a bit of my time now and then on

request.

 

What you see is a qualified and accurate discussion of image

alterations as done by a rank amateur. The discussion applies

to Adobe Photoshop as well as to Adobe Illustrator.

 

Thing is that the information defining the individual pixels

of an image comes down to a particular setting or not setting

the bits of a pixel; whether 8-bits, 16-bits, or more. 'Tis

the bits that determine color, brightness. opacity, texture,

and more of image pixels. Bit level, that's the trick but

mostly not worth the bother unless for motive or profit.

 

Using a brush or line tool set to, say, black, and used to

either draw or paint will result in a series of identical

pixels as seen in the presentation.

 

Of course one could vary the brush or line tool setting for

a more convincing result but that would take great patience

and skill for a convincing result. For printed characters

either scanned or typed there's a far better way of altering

the image as I've done many times on these Forum threads as

described next.

 

Altering a line, paragraph, or page of type with less chance

of detection one should simply make use of the characters

already within the image ... that is to either clone or copy

and paste the charcters as needed to revise the text.

 

When there's a need to alter written text it's far easier to

forge on paper and then scan the result rather than trying to

use a brush or line tool. Still, as last resort one could make

use of brush or line tool if followed up by using dodge and

burn tools to introduce pixel variations that would approximate

signature pixels at the cost of a lot of detailed work.

 

A crude example of this sort of thing can be seen at the link

to follow. Note the fourth line of the signboard, altered by

way of copying and pasting characters from the signboard and

by using parts of other characters to construct new characters

such as the 'B,' 'U,' and 'K' as I recall. Tedius would be the

operative word.

 

Altered Signboard

 

So much to say about this subject but I shant go on. Of course

the premise that the image was actually downloaded from the

White House site should also be authenticated.

 

Thanks for asking,

Harmon

SD Rowdies

Edited by SD Rowdies
Link to comment

Harmon, I'd like to get your expert opinion on

. What the guy says makes a lot of sense but I've never used Adobe Illustrator.

Hey ol' buddy, thanks for asking. Image forensics is near and

dear to me and takes up a bit of my time now and then on

request.

 

What you see is a qualified and accurate discussion of image

alterations as done by a rank amateur. The discussion applies

to Adobe Photoshop as well as to Adobe Illustrator.

 

Thing is that the information defining the individual pixels

of an image comes down to a particular setting or not setting

the bits of a pixel; whether 8-bits, 16-bits, or more. 'Tis

the bits that determine color, brightness. opacity, texture,

and more of image pixels. Bit level, that's the trick but

mostly not worth the bother unless for motive or profit.

 

Using a brush or line tool set to, say, black, and used to

either draw or paint will result in a series of identical

pixels as seen in the presentation.

 

Of course one could vary the brush or line tool setting for

a more convincing result but that would take great patience

and skill for a convincing result. For printed characters

either scanned or typed there's a far better way of altering

the image as I've done many times on these Forum threads as

described next.

 

Altering a line, paragraph, or page of type with less chance

of detection one should simply make use of the characters

already within the image ... that is to either clone or copy

and paste the charcters as needed to revise the text.

 

When there's a need to alter written text it's far easier to

forge on paper and then scan the result rather than trying to

use a brush or line tool. Still, as last resort one could make

use of brush or line tool if followed up by using dodge and

burn tools to introduce pixel variations that would approximate

signature pixels at the cost of a lot of detailed work.

 

A crude example of this sort of thing can be seen at the link

to follow. Note the fourth line of the signboard, altered by

way of copying and pasting characters from the signboard and

by using parts of other characters to construct new characters

such as the 'B,' 'U,' and 'K' as I recall. Tedius would be the

operative word.

 

Altered Signboard

 

So much to say about this subject but I shant go on. Of course

the premise that the image was actually downloaded from the

White House site should also be authenticated.

 

Thanks for asking,

Harmon

SD Rowdies

 

Thanks Harmon. Seems odd that someone would go to great lengths to make that document look like a forge, but I guess it's possible. I'm not a lawyer but it seems like they could open themselves to a libel suit by doing it and posting it on Youtube. My guess is that once the video got out, the document would have been pulled and fixed. If it's still there then they are even dumber than I thought.

 

Love your work on the sign, Harmon. That is not that easy to do. I still on occasion use some of the Photoshop stuff you taught me. Take care!

Link to comment

Once upon a time there was a young man who wanted to become a great writer. "I want to write things the whole world will read," he declared.

 

"Stuff that will elicit strong emotions from people in every walk of life. I want my writing to make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger."

 

...

 

He now lives happily ever after in Redmond, Wash., writing error messages for Microsoft

Link to comment

Once upon a time there was a young man who wanted to become a great writer. "I want to write things the whole world will read," he declared.

 

"Stuff that will elicit strong emotions from people in every walk of life. I want my writing to make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger."

 

...

 

He now lives happily ever after in Redmond, Wash., writing error messages for Microsoft

:laughing:

Link to comment

How is Norma?

 

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,

"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said,"I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,"Norma Findlay, Room 302."

The operator replied,"Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,

"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her

physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

The grandmother said,"Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied,"You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

The grandmother said,"No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302, But no one tells me $hit."

Link to comment

:rolleyes:

At the Vet

 

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.

The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.

The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettable, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body.

The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650.

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.

The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." :blink:

Link to comment

:rolleyes:

At the Vet

 

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.

The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.

The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettable, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body.

The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650.

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.

The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." :blink:

Groan.... :rolleyes:

Link to comment

:rolleyes:

At the Vet

 

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.

The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.

The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettable, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body.

The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650.

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.

The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." :blink:

Groan.... :rolleyes:

Jodi, do I have to come down there and spank you?

Edited by SD Rowdies
Link to comment

Old Cowboy Ya think you have lived to be 63 and know who you are……..

 

then along comes someone and blows it all to the dickens...

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

 

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

 

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

 

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

 

The two sat sipping in silence.

 

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a Lesbian.' 00020397.gif

Link to comment

Old Cowboy Ya think you have lived to be 63 and know who you are……..

 

then along comes someone and blows it all to the dickens...

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

 

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

 

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

 

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

 

The two sat sipping in silence.

 

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a Lesbian.' 00020397.gif

 

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Link to comment

Hi SD geocachers,

 

I am working with several La Mesa committees to set up a geocaching challenge to coincide with La Mesa's centennial next year. We (the City) will be planting caches and discoverable Travel Bugs around the incorporated city and there will be a challenge open to area residents (and maybe East County-ers and beyond if we can get HHSA on board) running from June 2nd to Oktoberfest Sunday.

 

We will be hosting 2-3 info sessions and are looking for instructors for these. I can personally teach them but am not as savvy with the Smartphone aspect since I use my old Garmin 60 CS. The La Mesa Library has committed to hosting 2 of the events on May 19th and July 21st and there may be an additional one after the Flag Day parade during the community picnic (we will also have a Travel Bug on a parade vehicle for everyone's discovering enjoyment).

 

If you or someone you know would be willing and able to help present an info session please Email me

Thank you,

 

--Polly

Link to comment

Hi SD geocachers,

 

I am working with several La Mesa committees to set up a geocaching challenge to coincide with La Mesa's centennial next year. We (the City) will be planting caches and discoverable Travel Bugs around the incorporated city and there will be a challenge open to area residents (and maybe East County-ers and beyond if we can get HHSA on board) running from June 2nd to Oktoberfest Sunday.

 

We will be hosting 2-3 info sessions and are looking for instructors for these. I can personally teach them but am not as savvy with the Smartphone aspect since I use my old Garmin 60 CS. The La Mesa Library has committed to hosting 2 of the events on May 19th and July 21st and there may be an additional one after the Flag Day parade during the community picnic (we will also have a Travel Bug on a parade vehicle for everyone's discovering enjoyment).

 

If you or someone you know would be willing and able to help present an info session please Email me

Thank you,

 

--Polly

Will these caches be registered with Groundspeak and remain as official Geocaches?

Link to comment

Hi SD geocachers,

 

I am working with several La Mesa committees to set up a geocaching challenge to coincide with La Mesa's centennial next year. We (the City) will be planting caches and discoverable Travel Bugs around the incorporated city and there will be a challenge open to area residents (and maybe East County-ers and beyond if we can get HHSA on board) running from June 2nd to Oktoberfest Sunday.

 

We will be hosting 2-3 info sessions and are looking for instructors for these. I can personally teach them but am not as savvy with the Smartphone aspect since I use my old Garmin 60 CS. The La Mesa Library has committed to hosting 2 of the events on May 19th and July 21st and there may be an additional one after the Flag Day parade during the community picnic (we will also have a Travel Bug on a parade vehicle for everyone's discovering enjoyment).

 

If you or someone you know would be willing and able to help present an info session please Email me

Thank you,

 

--Polly

Will these caches be registered with Groundspeak and remain as official Geocaches?

 

Yes. Geocaching.com has offered the City of La Mesa a free premium membership (though no caches will be premium member only caches) and the Expand the Parks commission is always trying to bring the public to the parks and the parks maintenance workers/city personnel will be made aware of locations. In places where there is cache saturation Travel Bugs will be in place to highlight significant La Mesa locations which will most likely be released into the wild after the Challenge.

Link to comment

Hi SD geocachers,

 

I am working with several La Mesa committees to set up a geocaching challenge to coincide with La Mesa's centennial next year. We (the City) will be planting caches and discoverable Travel Bugs around the incorporated city and there will be a challenge open to area residents (and maybe East County-ers and beyond if we can get HHSA on board) running from June 2nd to Oktoberfest Sunday.

 

We will be hosting 2-3 info sessions and are looking for instructors for these. I can personally teach them but am not as savvy with the Smartphone aspect since I use my old Garmin 60 CS. The La Mesa Library has committed to hosting 2 of the events on May 19th and July 21st and there may be an additional one after the Flag Day parade during the community picnic (we will also have a Travel Bug on a parade vehicle for everyone's discovering enjoyment).

 

If you or someone you know would be willing and able to help present an info session please Email me

Thank you,

 

--Polly

Will these caches be registered with Groundspeak and remain as official Geocaches?

 

Yes. Geocaching.com has offered the City of La Mesa a free premium membership (though no caches will be premium member only caches) and the Expand the Parks commission is always trying to bring the public to the parks and the parks maintenance workers/city personnel will be made aware of locations. In places where there is cache saturation Travel Bugs will be in place to highlight significant La Mesa locations which will most likely be released into the wild after the Challenge.

Excellent, nice to see an honest association.

Link to comment

:rolleyes:

At the Vet

 

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help.

The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table.

The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettable, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body.

The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.

The vet answers, "$650.

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis.

The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests." :blink:

Groan.... :rolleyes:

Jodi, do I have to come down there and spank you?

 

That one was ruff!

Link to comment

Old Cowboy Ya think you have lived to be 63 and know who you are……..

 

then along comes someone and blows it all to the dickens...

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

 

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

 

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

 

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

 

The two sat sipping in silence.

 

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a Lesbian.' 00020397.gif

 

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Link to comment

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

 

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

 

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

 

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

 

THOUGHT for the day:

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Link to comment

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

 

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

 

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

 

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

 

THOUGHT for the day:

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

hahahaha!!! Thanks for the laugh!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Link to comment

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

 

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

 

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

 

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

 

THOUGHT for the day:

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

hahahaha!!! Thanks for the laugh!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

It hurts you made me laugh so hard!!! :antenna::laughing::antenna:

Link to comment

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

 

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

 

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

 

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

 

THOUGHT for the day:

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

hahahaha!!! Thanks for the laugh!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

It hurts you made me laugh so hard!!! :antenna::laughing::antenna:

0002031F.gif

Link to comment

THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real!

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

 

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

 

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

 

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

 

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

 

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

 

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

 

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

 

THOUGHT for the day:

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY'RE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

 

hahahaha!!! Thanks for the laugh!!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

It hurts you made me laugh so hard!!! :antenna::laughing::antenna:

0002031F.gif

 

:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

Link to comment

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

 

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

 

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

 

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

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A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

 

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

 

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

 

The wife replies; "I did, they were in your tackle box."

 

Ouch! :laughing:

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I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many margaritas. Knowing full well that I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before -- I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and I am not sure where I got it from...

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I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many margaritas. Knowing full well that I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before -- I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and I am not sure where I got it from...

 

LOL! Nice work! :D

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I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many margaritas. Knowing full well that I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before -- I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and I am not sure where I got it from...

 

LOL! Nice work! :D

 

Hope you didn't take Zeber's bus 00020285.gif

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I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many margaritas. Knowing full well that I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before -- I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and I am not sure where I got it from...

 

LOL! Nice work! :D

 

Hope you didn't take Zeber's bus 00020285.gif

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

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I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many margaritas. Knowing full well that I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before -- I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and I am not sure where I got it from...

 

LOL! Nice work! :D

 

Hope you didn't take Zeber's bus 00020285.gif

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

 

:laughing::laughing::laughing:

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Ole heard voices from down in his pond and he went to check and found a bunch of young women skinny-dipping there. They all screamed and went down to the deep end where the water was up to their necks. One of the women shouted, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man said, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked. I came here to feed the alligator."

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Youtube has a cool and humorous series on teaching Photoshop called "You Suck at Photoshop."

is one example. Enjoy! :D

Some well-done fun with Photoshop. That clip

actually offers a decent tip about using the

puppet-warp feature.

 

I agree. There are 23 lessons so far. I like the way that he shows the actual steps. I wonder if he's using Adobe Captivate to create these tutorials?

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Youtube has a cool and humorous series on teaching Photoshop called "You Suck at Photoshop."

is one example. Enjoy! :D

Some well-done fun with Photoshop. That clip

actually offers a decent tip about using the

puppet-warp feature.

 

I agree. There are 23 lessons so far. I like the way that he shows the actual steps. I wonder if he's using Adobe Captivate to create these tutorials?

0171876b-bd98-4832-b25e-78df5d79244a.jpg?rnd=0.3247601[/size]

 

Puppet Warp.

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Youtube has a cool and humorous series on teaching Photoshop called "You Suck at Photoshop."

is one example. Enjoy! :D

Some well-done fun with Photoshop. That clip

actually offers a decent tip about using the

puppet-warp feature.

 

I agree. There are 23 lessons so far. I like the way that he shows the actual steps. I wonder if he's using Adobe Captivate to create these tutorials?

0171876b-bd98-4832-b25e-78df5d79244a.jpg?rnd=0.3247601[/size]

 

Puppet Warp.

 

LOL! You should color it yellow!

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Just a reminder that the La Mesa Centennial Amazing Geocache Challenge begins Saturday June 2nd with the Flag Day Parade!! There will be a Travel Bug going down the parade route on the Flood Masters truck. You can read about the parade here: http://cityoflamesa100.com/CivicAlerts.aspx?AID=13

 

Stop by the Centennial booth at the Parade and pick up a postcard about the challenge and meet some fellow cachers.

 

You can read about the challenge here: http://cityoflamesa100.com/index.aspx?nid=107

 

We will be hosting another Geocaching 101 class at 11 am on July 21st at the La Mesa Library. It will be similar to our May class with some minor updates. We are also hoping to hold one last class at the end of the summer in a La Mesa park.

 

Come out this summer and help La Mesa celebrate turning 100!

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I have ten fifty caliber ammo cans (large ammo cans) to give out. I want to give them out to local cachers who will actually find a place to hide them. What can I say, I will take an ammo can over a micro any day. I will give two of these containers to the first 5 people that decide they want them. Send me an e-mail if you interested.

Edited by gypsie19
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Happy Birthday, Harmon!!! May your day be filled with family, friends, and lots of laughter! :grin:

Sweet Sue,

 

Thank you darlin', so far my birthday has been filled with joy.

 

Pecan wafffles with side of bacon at Janet's in Alpine, huge

box of See's at home, annual Christmas Feast tonight at our

residential park, and lots of birthday cards and wishes from

my dear friends.

 

Downside is that I have finally crossed over the Life Expectancy

age for U.S.A. From now on every time I wake up in the morning

it will be an unexpected event.

 

So it goes,

Sweet ol' Harmon

SD Rowdies

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