San Diego Banter

[+ThePolarBear]

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their music hits with new lyrics to accommodate baby boomers

 

this time in their golden years.

 

They include:

 

Herman's Hermits -------- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

 

The Bee Gees ------------ How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

 

Bobby Darin -------------- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

 

Ringo Starr --------------- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

 

Roberta Flack ------------ The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

 

Johnny Nash -------------- I Can't See Clearly Now.

 

Paul Simon ---------------- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

 

The Commodores -------- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

 

Marvin Gaye -------------- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

 

Leo Sayer ----------------- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

 

Tony Orlando ------------- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

 

Helen Reddy -------------- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

 

Willie Nelson -------------- On the Commode Again!!!

 

Huh! Who are they??? Never heard of any of the artists before... or maybe I just forgot who they are!

[+TrailGators]

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket

 

 

[+TrailGators]

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their music hits with new lyrics to accommodate baby boomers this time in their golden years.

 

They include:

Herman's Hermits -------- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

The Bee Gees ------------ How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

Bobby Darin -------------- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

Ringo Starr --------------- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

Roberta Flack ------------ The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash -------------- I Can't See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon ---------------- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores -------- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin Gaye -------------- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

Leo Sayer ----------------- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

Tony Orlando ------------- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen Reddy -------------- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

Willie Nelson -------------- On the Commode Again!!!

 

Edited December 7, 2006 by TrailGators

[+TrailGators]

[+TrailGators]

[+PassingWind]

 

 

[+TrailGators]

Edited December 7, 2006 by TrailGators

[+Toby's Gang]

You guys asked for it...

Edited December 7, 2006 by Toby's Gang

[+TrailGators]

You might be a redneck if......

 

[+Snake & Rooster]

You might be a redneck if......

 

 

 

 

I don't understand . . . Is this not the accepted way of babysitting your child?

[+TrailGators]

You might be a redneck if......

 

 

I don't understand . . . Is this not the accepted way of babysitting your child?

Well it seems ta me dey dun shoulda left doze pants off and spread out one of dem papers wit da news on it on da floor so dat liddle one can let 'er rip after she has some viddles!

[+jahoadi and john]

You might be a redneck if......

 

 

 

 

I don't understand . . . Is this not the accepted way of babysitting your child?

 

 

 

Isn't she adorable?????

[+SD Rowdies]

You might be a redneck if......

 

 

I don't understand . . . Is this not the accepted way of babysitting your child?

Well it seems ta me dey dun shoulda left doze pants off and spread out one of dem papers wit da news on it on da floor so dat liddle one can let 'er rip after she has some viddles!

Hmm, I d'know ... it ain't cammo-tape.

[+TrailGators]

I did not write this poem; in fact I don't know who did. I do know that it has been circulating on the internet the last several weeks and I like to believe that it was written by a serviceman or women truly expressing how they feel about their job this Christmas. Please think about our heroes and their families this time of year as you read the following:

 

A Soldiers Christmas

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

 

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

 

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

 

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,

Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

 

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

 

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

 

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,"

Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

 

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light

Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

 

It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

 

My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

 

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

 

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

 

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

 

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

 

"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son."

 

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

 

[+Let's Look Over Thayer]

I did not write this poem; in fact I don't know who did. I do know that it has been circulating on the internet the last several weeks and I like to believe that it was written by a serviceman or women truly expressing how they feel about their job this Christmas. Please think about our heroes and their families this time of year as you read the following:

 

The poet is Michael Marks, a defense contractor from Leesburg, VA. Here are the author's notes:

A Soldier's Christmas was the first in this series of patriotic writings, drafted on Pearl Harbor Day 2000 when in the wake of the 2000 Presidential Election our nation saw the right of US Armed Forces personnel openly questioned and debated. I felt it unconscionable that at the onset of the Christmas season, those serving to defend our nation would hear anything but our love and support. It is our challenge to stand for their rights at home while they stand for our lives and safety overseas. This poem went out and quickly spread around the world in emails, letters, magazines. I received letters from Marines in Bosnia, soldiers in Okinawa, from a submariner who xeroxed a copy for everyone on his sub. Moms wrote, dads, brothers and sisters. I have saved and cherish every letter and set out to continue writing throughout the year.

If you are interested reading some of Mr. Marks' other works, you can go to: http://iwvpa.net/marksm/index.php

[+TrailGators]

I did not write this poem; in fact I don't know who did. I do know that it has been circulating on the internet the last several weeks and I like to believe that it was written by a serviceman or women truly expressing how they feel about their job this Christmas. Please think about our heroes and their families this time of year as you read the following:

 

The poet is Michael Marks, a defense contractor from Leesburg, VA. Here are the author's notes:

A Soldier's Christmas was the first in this series of patriotic writings, drafted on Pearl Harbor Day 2000 when in the wake of the 2000 Presidential Election our nation saw the right of US Armed Forces personnel openly questioned and debated. I felt it unconscionable that at the onset of the Christmas season, those serving to defend our nation would hear anything but our love and support. It is our challenge to stand for their rights at home while they stand for our lives and safety overseas. This poem went out and quickly spread around the world in emails, letters, magazines. I received letters from Marines in Bosnia, soldiers in Okinawa, from a submariner who xeroxed a copy for everyone on his sub. Moms wrote, dads, brothers and sisters. I have saved and cherish every letter and set out to continue writing throughout the year.

If you are interested reading some of Mr. Marks' other works, you can go to: http://iwvpa.net/marksm/index.php

Thanks James!

[+SKILLET]

What happened to redstareg and cegrube, they both seem to have disappeared from sight ??

[+Team Fatman]

What happened to redstareg and cegrube, they both seem to have disappeared from sight ??

 

I talked to Carl AKA Cegrube tuesday night. He has been working on is house and his daughter and grandson where visiting. No info on Redstareg.

[+"lostguy"]

What happened to redstareg and cegrube, they both seem to have disappeared from sight ??

 

I talked to Carl AKA Cegrube tuesday night. He has been working on is house and his daughter and grandson where visiting. No info on Redstareg.

I emailed Redstareg about a month ago to see if all was well and why he hadn't been out recently. He responded that all was well but he had been very busy with work but was going to be back at it again soon.

[+SKILLET]

What happened to redstareg and cegrube, they both seem to have disappeared from sight ??

 

I talked to Carl AKA Cegrube tuesday night. He has been working on is house and his daughter and grandson where visiting. No info on Redstareg.

 

I emailed Redstareg about a month ago to see if all was well and why he hadn't been out recently. He responded that all was well but he had been very busy with work but was going to be back at it again soon.

 

 

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that

she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my a** coming into work today

 

 

I thought they might have this

 

[+TrailGators]

What happened to redstareg and cegrube, they both seem to have disappeared from sight ??

 

I talked to Carl AKA Cegrube tuesday night. He has been working on is house and his daughter and grandson where visiting. No info on Redstareg.

I emailed Redstareg about a month ago to see if all was well and why he hadn't been out recently. He responded that all was well but he had been very busy with work but was going to be back at it again soon.

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that

she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my a** coming into work today

 

I thought they might have this

I think I have had that before.... Edited December 15, 2006 by TrailGators

[+Let's Look Over Thayer]

 

It sure is quiet around here lately...

[+TrailGators]

I saw this cool photo today! Guess where it is?

 

[+RocketMan]

I saw this cool photo today! Guess where it is?

 

 

That would be the most photographed barn in the Grand Tetons. Mrs. RocketMan and I have photos from that location.

 

Very Nice shot BTW. Here is a shot of the Tetons from our porch at the Jackson Lake Lodge this summer:

 

Edited December 19, 2006 by RocketMan

[+TrailGators]

Very Nice shot BTW. Here is a shot of the Tetons from our porch at the Jackson Lake Lodge this summer:

 

 

Those photos make me wonder why on Earth I'm sitting at my desk right now.....

 

Great photo by the way!

Edited December 19, 2006 by TrailGators

[+Let's Look Over Thayer]

Gleep...

Edited December 19, 2006 by Let's Look Over Thayer

[+Caching Widow]

[+TrailGators]

I ran across this cache being discussed in the forums today. Pretty funny!

[+SD Rowdies]

I ran across this cache being discussed in the forums today. Pretty funny!

Dang, wish I had thought of that idea first.

[+Let's Look Over Thayer]

I ran across this cache being discussed in the forums today. Pretty funny!

[+Team Fatman]

I ran across this cache being discussed in the forums today. Pretty funny!

 

Boy where have I seen that name for a cache at.

[+TrailGators]

Seems like RM is getting a tiny bit of snow these days....

....(in dog voice) "I gotta go pee never mind finding a cache!!"

(Quote by Zoltig off Colorado thread)

Edited December 21, 2006 by TrailGators

[+TrailGators]

After every flight, Qantas (Australia 's major airline) pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

 

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per

minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

 

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

And the best one for last..................

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

[+pqcachers]

After every flight, Qantas (Australia 's major airline) pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

 

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Auto-pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per

minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

 

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

 

And the best one for last..................

 

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[+SD Rowdies]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

...

[+Toby's Gang]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

...

Edited December 24, 2006 by Toby's Gang

[+SD Rowdies]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

...

Are you going to tell us why?

No, no ... it's a Banter sing-along. the next stanza is yours. Sheesh.

Edited December 23, 2006 by SD Rowdies

[+TrailGators]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

...

Better not pout

[+Team Fatman]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

...

Better not pout

 

I'm Telling You Why

[+habu!]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

Better not pout

 

I'm Telling You Why

 

...'Cause Capt'n Ramius is Comin' To Town

[+SD Rowdies]

Better watch out,

Better not cry,

Better not pout

 

I'm Telling You Why

 

...'Cause Capt'n Ramius is Comin' To Town

Cha-cha-cha!

[+SKILLET]

 

 

Is this what John has to go through Johadi

 

Sorry you two I just couldn't pass it up

 

It reminded me of your Avatar

Edited December 24, 2006 by SKILLET

[+habu!]

Hey! Why is it that some folks here have more forum posts than caches?

 

click here to compare

 

 

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

[+Team Fatman]

Hey! Why is it that some folks here have more forum posts than caches?

 

click here to compare

 

 

Merry Christmas Everybody and a Happy new Year.!!!

Edited December 24, 2006 by Team Fatman

[+TrailGators]

Merry Christmas Everybody and a Happy new Year.!!!

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

[+Toby's Gang]

Merry Christmas Everybody and a Happy new Year.!!!

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Merry Christmas and I hope everyone gets those new Geocaching toys they asked for. I'm getting one of those hiking poles you can stick in the ground and mount a camera to it. (I hope)

[+TrailGators]

Merry Christmas Everybody and a Happy new Year.!!!

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Merry Christmas and I hope everyone gets those new Geocaching toys they asked for. I'm getting one of those hiking poles you can stick in the ground and mount a camera to it. (I hope)

I asked Santa for one of those compact superbright flashlights!

[+Don Coyote]

I have been lurking in the forums for some time and I have met quite a few of you at events. Here are my adventures from yesterday.

 

So after talking with Robyn of Team Reid at the "2nd Annual Christmas Lights Geo-Walk", my wife says it might be fun to geocache along the Bradshaw Trail when the kids are all home for Christmas. We have a Saturn Vue SUV so it should not be a problem. We decided to go from east to wast and count down the caches as we find them. We get up at 6:00 AM and and are on the road by 7:00 driving to Blythe. We log the first cache, #25, at 11:42 AM and we are off and running.

 

We hit the first snag when I was driving and the navigator was having problems with the GPS. We drive right by LOST and in the process drive right by #21. We are only .15 miles past #21 and I want to turn around and get it. My wife is having none of that. I'm thinking the whole purpose of this trip is to find the Bradshaw Trail caches and I am willing to let LOST go (I didn't know at the time it was a possible FTF) but I want #21. She finally concedes to one "go back", but if we pass another, that is it. Anyone who has heard her talk about my incident in the Geo Metro convertible, knows she is serious and means that is it for geocaching this trip, not that one missed cache.

 

We go back and get #21 and find the rest of the caches without incident. We skipped a couple of non-Bradshaw caches because I don't want to press my luck and get put on geocaching restriction again. The boys have fun climbing on the rocks and my daughter takes pictures all along the way. We found #1 at 5:10 PM and start for home. It has been a fun day.

 

The directions from Google say to turn right on Coachella Canal Road and go 6.8 miles to Das Palmas Spring Road. It is DARK and somehow both the driver and the navigator (I was neither) miss the turn and continue on Coachella Canal Road. We know we have been on this road for too long but don't see any other choice but to continue when we hear a familiar rumble from the left side of the SUV. We have a flat tire. I change the tire and put on the temporary spare, you know, the half a tire, that comes standard now and I take over driving.

 

We drive on Coachella Canal Road, on the temporary spare, for another 4 miles until we hit pavement just south of Mecca. We make it to Indio and all the tire places are closed. We are still 130 miles from home. We get something to eat and continue on home to San Diego, hoping the temporary spare lasts until we get there.

 

At 10:00 PM we pull into the driveway and we made it. It was a LONG day. The end result: I can't take any of my vehicles off the paved road any more, but I didn't get placed on geocaching restriction and ...

 

Dinner for ticked-off wife: $50

Two new tires for the Vue: $150

Logging 27 caches in one day and going over 250: PRICELESS

 

For most things in life there are credit cards, for everything else, there's GEOCACHING.

[+SKILLET]

Merry Christmas Everybody and a Happy new Year.!!!

Merry Christmas everybody!!!

Merry Christmas and I hope everyone gets those new Geocaching toys they asked for. I'm getting one of those hiking poles you can stick in the ground and mount a camera to it. (I hope)

I asked Santa for one of those compact superbright flashlights!

 

 

Merry Christmas to all and Happy Caching into the New Year

 

I asked Santa for a 60csx but I don't think she he heard me.

[+SD Rowdies]

I have been lurking in the forums for some time and I have met quite a few of you at events. Here are my adventures from yesterday.

 

So after talking with Robyn of Team Reid at the "2nd Annual Christmas Lights Geo-Walk", my wife says it might be fun to geocache along the Bradshaw Trail when the kids are all home for Christmas. We have a Saturn Vue SUV so it should not be a problem. We decided to go from east to wast and count down the caches as we find them. We get up at 6:00 AM and and are on the road by 7:00 driving to Blythe. We log the first cache, #25, at 11:42 AM and we are off and running.

 

We hit the first snag when I was driving and the navigator was having problems with the GPS. We drive right by LOST and in the process drive right by #21. We are only .15 miles past #21 and I want to turn around and get it. My wife is having none of that. I'm thinking the whole purpose of this trip is to find the Bradshaw Trail caches and I am willing to let LOST go (I didn't know at the time it was a possible FTF) but I want #21. She finally concedes to one "go back", but if we pass another, that is it. Anyone who has heard her talk about my incident in the Geo Metro convertible, knows she is serious and means that is it for geocaching this trip, not that one missed cache.

 

We go back and get #21 and find the rest of the caches without incident. We skipped a couple of non-Bradshaw caches because I don't want to press my luck and get put on geocaching restriction again. The boys have fun climbing on the rocks and my daughter takes pictures all along the way. We found #1 at 5:10 PM and start for home. It has been a fun day.

 

The directions from Google say to turn right on Coachella Canal Road and go 6.8 miles to Das Palmas Spring Road. It is DARK and somehow both the driver and the navigator (I was neither) miss the turn and continue on Coachella Canal Road. We know we have been on this road for too long but don't see any other choice but to continue when we hear a familiar rumble from the left side of the SUV. We have a flat tire. I change the tire and put on the temporary spare, you know, the half a tire, that comes standard now and I take over driving.

 

We drive on Coachella Canal Road, on the temporary spare, for another 4 miles until we hit pavement just south of Mecca. We make it to Indio and all the tire places are closed. We are still 130 miles from home. We get something to eat and continue on home to San Diego, hoping the temporary spare lasts until we get there.

 

At 10:00 PM we pull into the driveway and we made it. It was a LONG day. The end result: I can't take any of my vehicles off the paved road any more, but I didn't get placed on geocaching restriction and ...

 

Dinner for ticked-off wife: $50

Two new tires for the Vue: $150

Logging 27 caches in one day and going over 250: PRICELESS

 

For most things in life there are credit cards, for everything else, there's GEOCACHING.

Congratulations,

 

Your adventure definitely qualifies as a grand day out with a couple of silver-linings glittering behind the dark cloud of suspicion that your sweet bride now has you under.

 

In the first place you inadvertently established that you need a 4WD vehicle to avoid all that rough wear and tear on your Saturn SUV. Don't bring this need up right away with your wife, you know, give her a few months to cool down. For now just stick with "Yes dear."

 

Secondly it should be really easy to lay the blame for your offroad troubles onto Robyn because she encouraged you to undertake the eventful drive in the first place. By any chance was Robyn having a cocktail or a glass of wine or two when she encourgaged you to go drive-about?

 

Ain't nothin' better than seein' somebody else in trouble with their sweet bride.

 

Thanks for the entertainment,

 

Harmon