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[+wildlifewriter]

Geocaching Weekly

The Magazine for Committed Cachers

 

Today's Top Story...

 

UK CACHERS LOSE THE PLOT

(by our Mental Health Staff)

 

The world of UK geocaching was in uproar this week, after reports that nothing had happened.

 

Well-known cache reviewer, Mr. P.Whohe (handle:“Indaforum”) said: “My original statement has been misinterpreted. Nothing has happened – we have only changed the order in which it doesn't happen.”

 

Reaction from other cachers was swift. Mr A. Wossname (handle:“Bonkersandproudofit”) said: “This is definitely the end of geocaching as we know it. I haven't read the announcement because I've been too busy typing out this reply, but the whole thing is a disgrace.”

 

Top Scottish cacher, Rab C Nesbitt (handle:”Barmpot”) was equally scathing: “You see you Jimmy, yon's a reet havers. Ah will tell ye this bhoy, Ah will tell ye this – there'll be a sair fecht, the noo.”

 

A geocacher who wished only to be identified as “Chocolatebrains” stated: “I am at my wits' end. If nothing keeps happening like this, there'll be nowhere to place caches anywhere in the Country. How can anyone expect ME to ask for permission to hide a cache? I have to watch TV seven days a week. Geocaching.com should do it themselves.”

 

Other lazy cachers agreed: “Unless someone tells me where I can hide my caches without doing any work, I shall cancel my subscription. Again.”

 

A member of the reviewing team, Stanley Accrington, tried to reassure the caching community about the non-alterations: “Nothing has happened, and I can state categorically that nothing will happen next week, either.”

 

Jeremy Irish is 72.

[Big Black Bunny]

Well that’s the last straw, I’m not going to do anything as well.

Maybe then the people responsible for this outrage will realise that they just can’t go on making nothing happen.

 

PS who is JI? Not the man in charge?

[Lactodorum]

 

If anybody wants anything not doing I'll be happy to oblige.

[+Eckington]

.....and I never do 'owt onyway

[+-Phoenix-]

Ive just checked the guidelines and nothing isnt covered by them!

[+kbootb]

Two reviewers on line doing nothing at the same time. This is serious overmanning. I'll be having a word with human resources in the morning.

[+littlejim]

Suddenly, nothing happened, but it happened suddenly mark you! (Spike Milligan script circa 1958)

[+Daisy&me]

Oh what I go off line for a few hours and come back to find nothing's happened! I'll stayed logged on in case it doesn't happen again so I don't miss it.

[terribletwos]

Two reviewers on line doing nothing at the same time. This is serious overmanning. I'll be having a word with human resources in the morning.

As Human Resoures Co-Manager for UK Reviewers Inc. I am pleased to annonuce that I have cut one of their salaries by 50% to compensate for their complete lack of doing anything

[+Eckington]

[+Cave Troll and Eeyore]

Newsflash

Nothing has happened again. If you blinked you missed it

[Moss Trooper]

I'm too busy doing nowt to find time to do any thing about it. I think!!!!!!!!

[+McDeHack]

This reminds me of a song from a film. ' A yankie in King Arthers court' Staring Bing Crosby and sung by William Bendix.

 

I'm busy doing nothing, working the whole day through.

Trying to find lots of things not to do.

I am busy going nowhere, is'nt it just a crime.

I'd like to be unhappy but. I just have not got the time.

 

I can't remember the rest.

[+kbootb]

This reminds me of a song from a film. ' A yankie in King Arthers court' Staring Bing Crosby and sung by William Bendix.

 

I'm busy doing nothing, working the whole day through.

Trying to find lots of things not to do.

I am busy going nowhere, is'nt it just a crime.

I'd like to be unhappy but. I just have not got the time.

 

I can't remember the rest.

So that's where it came from. My Dad used to sing that, making a dig about my ability to use home work as an excuse to get out of the chores, and my ability to not do homework and find other more pressing things to do.

 

I knew it was a film, but always assumed it was a Disney cartoon.

[+welch]

sometimes english humour is just lost on me

[+pghlooking]

sometimes english humour is just lost on me

Thank goodness. I thought it was just me!

[+Haggis Hunter]

sometimes english humour is just lost on me

But this thread was started by an Irishman, not English, I'm sure you meant British humour is just lost on you??

[+pghlooking]

But this thread was started by an Irishman, not English

Now i get it

[+wildlifewriter]

sometimes english humour is just lost on me

It's called Irony.

 

I'd explain it to you - but then you wouldn't be a proper American any more.

 

-Wlw.

[+Alibags]

wasn't it actually 'satire'?

[+milvus-milvus]

I can't remember the rest.

We’re busy doing nothing

Working the whole day through

Trying to find lots of things not to do.

We’re busy going nowhere,

Isn’t it just a crime?

We’d like to be unhappy but…

We never do have the time.

 

I have to watch the river,

To see that it doesn’t stop.

Then stick around the rosebuds,

So they’ll know when to pop.

Better keep the crickets cheerful,

They’re really a solemn bunch.

Hustle, bustle, and only an hour for lunch.

 

(Repeat opening verse)

 

I have to wake the sun up,

He’s liable to sleep all day.

And then inspect the rainbows,

So they’ll be bright and gay.

You must rehearse the songbirds,

To see that they sing in key.

Hustle, bustle, and never a moment free.

 

(Repeat verse)

 

I have to meet a turtle,

I’m teaching him how to swim.

Then I have to shine the dewdrops,

You know they’re looking rather dim.

I told my friend the robin

I’d buy him a brand new vest.

Hustle, bustle, we never do have,

we never do have, we never do, never do, never do, never do,

Never do have the time,

Never do have the time.

 

(Please note that the opening verse,

and each repetition of it,

is preceded by a long string of la, la, las.)

 

I haven't got time for any more of this.

Baz.

[+Turkey Trotter]

I was going down to Liverpool to do nothing (as the Bangles once did) but now I think I'll just stay here and do it.

[+aRRKS]

I can't believe you're all doing nothing, that is MY job

[Deego]

I can't believe you're all doing nothing, that is MY job

And a job you do very well

[+aRRKS]

I can't believe you're all doing nothing, that is MY job 

And a job you do very well

The minute I try and do anything *someone* phones me up!

[+Boneychest & Catsuey]

Well, there's nothing else for it! I can't sit here doing nothing on the compamy's time - I'll have to go home and not do it in my own time (well, it is poets day).

 

Nothing new there then!

[+Archer4]

Are there any stats on GCUK about the last time nothing happened?

[+-Phoenix-]

Just logged on to see if there were any new developements, and have found that one again I missed nothing!

 

Hopefully if I stay logged on I will be able to watch nothing as its actually happens!

[+Cave Troll and Eeyore]

If ya want to see the nothing watch Never Ending Story

 

Nothing to see here. Please move along