Spousal Problem?

[+KickBassMama]

Well, here's the situation. My husband Says he doesn't like geocaching, however if we can walk there from our house he'll go, and usually he'll find them. But he doesn't like driving cache to cache. Any suggestions how I might help him and so I don't have to cache alone?

 

-Thanks

[+1stimestar]

No idea. When I started caching we were seperated. Now we are back together and I can't find a darn thing with him along. He is too impatient.

Edited May 12, 2005 by 1stimestar

[+New England n00b]

Maybe plan some longer hikes (based on the description). Instead of doing a few 'park-n-grabs', perhaps spend a day and go on a long (2+ mile) real hike, and mix geocaching with the trip. Then he won't fell like he is driving to and fro - one stop and a nice long hike.

[+briansnat]

Does he have any interests that you can tie in with geocaching? If he likes kayaking, perhaps you can look for some water caches. If he's into history you can visit caches at historic sites. If he's into hiking, you can use geocaching as an excuse to hike in different areas.

 

If none of that works then you're stuck with going at it alone, or making some geo friends to go with. That's not a bad thing. My wife and I have many common interests, but we have a few that send us different ways.

 

At one time we agonized over being apart, but the alternative was her dragging an unhappy Brian to church or shopping, or me dragging an unhappy Skigirl to an archaeological dig or a softball game. Eventually we learned to enjoy our time apart. I call it "me time" and it keeps our marraige fresh and we appreciate each other all the more when we're together.

[ImpalaBob]

Koikeeper and I have been married for 25 years. We have hobbies that we enjoy together and some that we do alone. She and her girlfriend Ziplip got into geocaching together and I joined in later to keep her company when Ziplip is unavailable. Koikeeper would never go with me when I go Trap shooting, but now she may accompany me and go off geocaching while I am shooting at big events. I am glad to accompany her when Ziplip is unavailable as being Ex-military I enjoy using my booby trap skills in solving difficult caches, and as an ex-Boy Scout I enjoy being outdoors, hiking, and kayaking. I really enjoy being out of the house and away from the TV!

 

My advice is like the others in combining what he likes to do with what you like to do. Of course .... being alone in the woods has some other advatages .

 

I am sure it will all work out for you. ImpalaBob

Edited May 12, 2005 by ImpalaBob

[+suemac]

My husband also doesn't like caching much, though he finds them fairly quickly when he goes with me. He does however like ham radio, so our compromise is that he drives me around to caches and then sits in the car and talks on his radio while I hunt. I also have a couple of girlfriends in town that I cache with - takes the heat off of him.

 

Marriage is often an excercise in compromise, so I think what's important is that you work together to find a solution - either combining caching with something that he likes to do or agreeing that it'll be one of those do it alone activities.

 

[+Ed Rad]

Drop him like a ton of bricks. There are plenty of geocachers available for the pickin'...A mixed marriage just doesn't work.

 

(Just kidding)

 

Actually... a previous poster suggested finding a local cacher to buddy up with. Attend events, that seems to be one of the best ways to meet other cachers. Plan a day out with a group and go from there.

 

Good luck.

[A^2]

Have you appealed to his sense of gadgetry yet? Challenge his manhood by buying a fancy GPSr and claiming inability to use it. Then, when he comes in to attempt to show you how it is done, you can snare him into geocaching with you. MWA HA HA HA

 

Being male myself, I think it'd be alright if my wife used expensive electronic devices to bribe me into activities. Yeah, that's low... but I get toys.

[WH]

When all else fails, you can bribe him with a reward that only you can provide .

[+1stimestar]

Have you appealed to his sense of gadgetry yet? Challenge his manhood by buying a fancy GPSr and claiming inability to use it. Then, when he comes in to attempt to show you how it is done, you can snare him into geocaching with you. MWA HA HA HA

 

Being male myself, I think it'd be alright if my wife used expensive electronic devices to bribe me into activities. Yeah, that's low... but I get toys.

Hahaha good one.

[+Team Cotati]

You might want to avoid those caches that reside on historic sites: "(Added 5/28/02) Please do not place caches on archaeological or historical sites. In most cases these areas are highly sensitive to the extra traffic that would be caused by vehicles and humans. If you find a cache in one of these areas please remove it and replace it a safe enough distance from the site to ensure that the site will not be impacted by people searching for the cache and unknowingly traveling over or through a site."

 

The above from www.geocaching.com's "Guide to Creating and Hiding a Cache" document.

[Tahosa and Sons]

My better half, thinks I'm nuts when it comes to caching, and I think her obsession with crafts is crazy. So a compromise has been made, she makes some real neat cache containers that are very well camoflauged for me. I take her to a craft store when I look for swag.

And when she gets mad at me and tells me to take a HIKE, I shut up and go take a hike.

[+geowhereisit?]

While I am a relative new comer to geocaching, I have been married for a while (my wife and I will celebrate our 27th annivesary next month) so let me approach this situation from that angle. Don't make a point of contention about this, that can easily lead to the "line in the sand" syndrome and that will only detract from the pleasure you find in the sport. Do try to find a way to engage his interests in your geocaching and you may be able to get him involved. I found several of the previous posts to have very good ideas along those lines (If he is into other sports, find a way to combine geocaching with the pursuit of his particular sport, if he is a "gadget" person, get him to help you choose a new GPSr, etc...).

 

A personal example: I want my wife to get involved with geocaching with me, she really likes going to the beach, so I am going to take her geocaching at the beach. I don't know if it will work, but hey, it's worth a try, right?

 

Good luck & happy caching.

[+KickBassMama]

Thanks for all the great advice!! :-) I'll give it a whirl!!! He loves it when I let him have the GPS when we are on walks, so maybe I should just get a second one?? :-) Upgrade for me :-)

 

Thanks again

[+Ladycacher]

I have three GPS because everybody wanted to hold mine. I HIGHLY recommend buying an extra! That will help, and try to get another couple to go with you. I found if he has someone to talk that is a male figure he likes it more.

[Orly]

I osted this the other day on another thread.

1 Husband took it up because he was bored with walking the same route.

Took up walking because of accident prevented other exercise program.

2 Takes son with him, which is a good thing for father and son both

3 It is not my thing, don't want it to become my thing, even though he encourages my interest. I will go for walks occassionally

4. Sometimes he finds neat things to look at while traveling, like waterfalls, that stuff is ok. Some virtuals and some locationless have been fun, like going to Central Park in New York City and finding virtuals , was pretty cool.

Don't force the issue. I think most of the geocachers I have been exposed to exhibit signs of addiction to the sport, they are obsessive. H acknowledges that seems to have a shred of truth to it and tells me to tell him when it is too much. He has been pretty good about it so far, but sometimes spends too much time studying maps on computer. Like anything moderation is the key. We both think that it will be kind of a fad where it will quiet down fast.

[+DaveA]

If you want to be evil do as others have suggested and find a local caching buddy, just make sure it is a man rather than a woman.

 

If your husband is the jealous type that alone should get him 'satisfying your needs'.

 

If he isn't all that jealous try mentioning that the male caching partner is kind of cute

 

More seriously you might just try telling him that his going with you is important to you and ask him if there is something he wants from you that the two of you could trade for.

[+Renegade Knight]

Cache buddy is the way to go. Your husband isn't going to change his spots short of having an ephiphany.

 

An event cache or two in your area and you will have a full group of cache friends. I find caching in groups to be more fun anyway.

[Orly]

 

Probably wants some attention, instead of your devoting too much time to what can easily become an addictive obsession. No obsessive activity is particularly healthful to a relationship. Waypoints, and topos and logbooks aside. Figure out what is really important.

 

What lousy advice-- make him jealous, that is shear stupidity. You will most likely want to keep your husband a lot longer than you keep the travel bugs and the topo maps and the smileys and the memories of a fad.

 

Can you say

Pet Rock

Hula Hoop

8 Track

CB Radio

Geocaching ????

Edited May 12, 2005 by Orly

[+reveritt]

As a male, I suggest the following techniques:

• Withhold affection if he won't go geocaching with him.
  
• Find a male geocaching companion to go with while he stays home and plays with his radio.
  
• See #1 above.
  

[+AuntieWeasel]

Oh, hey, there's your problem right there. You've GOT to let him hold the GPSr. And if you get an upgrade, let him hold the better one. And, while I don't recommend doing an Annie-get-Your-Gun sort of thing, it doesn't hurt if he finds it first every once in a while.

 

Once he's hooked, you can go back to elbowing him out of the way

[+Marcie/Eric]

Does he know about the forums? Clue him in that there are a ton of guys that are willing to go with your wife. Say "your wife" not "me". Ask him if he'd rather you go with some people off the forum (complete strangers in his eyes). That'd p155 me off.

 

Seriously.. I would suggest the one posted above, about combining or trading an activity of his for your caching.

 

Or you could try and find a local event cache online, and be at the same place at the same time. You'll know. But he might not. Local group get together in a park would be awesome, or a pizza night. You casually strike up a conversation about caching with some of them (as if you're there coincidentally), and let your hubbie know that normal people like this sport (some people have to be convinced), and he now has competition for your time. He'l figure out that you now know other people (co-eds) that you can leave him at home for.

 

Or you could just go to an event alone and take it from there.

[zoohouse]

Hide his car keys, tv remote control, or some beer in the general vicinity of the cache and don't give him those coordinates until he finds the first cache with you.

[+sTeamTraen]

When all else fails, you can bribe him with a reward that only you can provide .

My wife was reading the OP over my shoulder and that was exactly what she said. Well, not word for word...

[WranglerTJ]

I have the same problem with my spouse not being interested in geocaching. I've tried everything I can think of to get her to participate. She actually came along once and spent more time complaining than helping out so at this point I am about ready to throw in the towel on caching. I have already given up flying and boating. I'll be ready for shuffleboard in a few years. Do you think she might like that?

[+M&DofKJE]

Speaking as a husband who used to not be interested in geocaching. My wife developed interest in this hobby first. She liked the interesting places we could go. I wa... well... not impressed. However, a few weeks into our participation, I came home late one night, and she had a cache that had just popped up put into her GPSr. She didn't know the area that well, and the kids were asleep, so she begged me to go for it. I gave in and went out and found.... a nice clean log sheet. I had beaten everyone else to it. My superior area knowledge had won out (not that I had any competitive juices begin to flow...). I was superior to the others in the area. Needless to say, I was hooked. The competition is the part that got me hooked. For my daughter, it is the thrill of the hunt. For my wife, it's the scenery. The one thing about this sport I like is that there is something in it for everyone. You just have to find the right bait to hook your husband into caching for life. You can do it. After all, you hooked him to you for life....

[+Recdiver]

Hook up with a sexy local male cacher and make him jealous.

Just kidding. How about an older, over-weight cacher who could be there in a couple of hours?

My spouse of 30-years and I have completely different interests, I scuba dive and she’s afraid of the water, I cache and she doesn’t like hiking. She likes to shop for shoes and I’d rather have my eyes burned out.

Lot’s of local active cachers in your area shouldn’t be a problem to hook up with them.

[dsandbro]

Tell him there may be beer in the cache.

[Garmin8888]

Perhaps get a Mountain Bike each and go off the beaten track..........Nowt better....!

[+Team Cotati]

Maybe you ought to ask him for suggestions wrt activities that you two can enjoy together.

[TimasaurusRex]

Yep - I think it's even worse for me - my wife thinks it is stupid and weird - and not "good weird" either. Fortunately, she likes to bird watch, so we have a temporary truce in the geocaching battle right now, in hopes that we can combine the two. That was four months ago, and still we have not gone out together yet. Maybe this weekend - I'm going to try real hard to get her to go and have fun and make a day of it with me and my son. Just remember: "Never give up! Never surrender!"

[+C&C+COMPANY]

When all else fails, you can bribe him with a reward that only you can provide .

that's what i would have said

[+AuntieWeasel]

Yep - I think it's even worse for me - my wife thinks it is stupid and weird - and not "good weird" either.  Fortunately, she likes to bird watch, so we have a temporary truce in the geocaching battle right now, in hopes that we can combine the two.  That was four months ago, and still we have not gone out together yet.  Maybe this weekend - I'm going to try real hard to get her to go and have fun and make a day of it with me and my son.  Just remember: "Never give up!  Never surrender!"

Shoot! Wrong coast. Here in New England, there are a number of excellent caches in Audubon bird sanctuaries. You could so easily combine the two.

 

Check to see if it's the same where you are.

[+M-T-P]

... and ask him if there is something he wants from you that the two of you could trade for.

Gee, I wonder what every red-blooded man would want to trade for with a cute red-headed beauty queen?

 

Welcome back from IRAQ, BTW!

[+Marcie/Eric]

I am about ready to throw in the towel on caching. I have already given up flying and boating.

Keep caching, you've given up too much already.

[+Renegade Knight]

When all else fails, you can bribe him with a reward that only you can provide  .

that's what i would have said

Oh come on guys, tit for tat works for his stuff and her stuff but that? If you ain't doing that anyway...

 

Nevermind.

[+Robespierre]

NEVER complain about his driving. Always be complementary.

[+bunkerdave]

I just want to know where all these cool female cachers are at?

[+Team Red Oak]

Luckily my husband liked the idea of caching the first time I mentioned it to him. I say I'm lucky because I probably wouldn't go out alone. Many years ago I was attacked in a mall parking lot at night (not seriously but enough to still make me skiddish in certain situations) and I would never be able to go alone into the woods where no one would be able to hear me yell even if I had a can of mace or a walking stick. I would be so paranoid looking over my shoulder I'd never find anything.

 

Maybe you can appeal to his sense of obligation. What would he say if something happened to you and he wasn't there to protect you. Not that I recommend that point, but everything else I would actually recommend has already been mentioned.

[+Criminal]

I have a few ideas, but it's best I don't mention them.

[+Night Stalker]

I guess I was lucky. My wife bought my first GPS for me even though she wasn't really interested. Now after going occasionally with me for the last couple of years she has finally got her own account. It is kind of interesting because now she wants to know when we are going to go caching next, or if we are going on a road trip she wants to make sure I have all the caches in the region downloaded to my GPS just in case we have time to stop and find a few.

 

[+souperteam]

I just want to know where all these cool female cachers are at?

Guess we're not in Utah! LOL!!

 

It took a while for my husband to warm up to the idea of GC. I mentioned to him in Feb '04 and he had no interest at all. I was reading the forums and searching for caches a very long time before we even had the means to go hunting. We got money at Christmas and without even discussing it, I bought a Garmin Etrex Vista C. Blew every penny we got on the thing. It took us a week to finally get out and find our first one.

 

Thankfully he has a good time going out but we don't go as often as I would like to go. We did find some when we were in Kauai the week before last. That was a lot of fun but our friends that we went with were some kind of jinx because most of the ones we did when they were with us were DNFs. LOL!!

 

I think he would go totally bezerk if I found a male caching buddy to go with. It wouldn't entice him to go along, he would trash the GPS. I would suggest that you find a female companion to go with and set aside a certain amount of time/days a month to go searching. Having some of your own interests is an ok thing...but too much time apart is not.

 

Good luck!

[+Tagamet]

Thanks for all the great advice!! :-) I'll give it a whirl!!! He loves it when I let him have the GPS when we are on walks, so maybe I should just get a second one?? :-) Upgrade for me :-)

 

Thanks again

The Garmin 60CS has a neat arrow/bearing feature that keep you pointed at the "prize". It'd even keep an ADHD child occupied, so it ought to be marginally effective keeping almost any male (like myself) interested.

Even if that fails, you do hold some primary reinforcers....

HTH,

Tagamet (the shrink)

[+SthrnMan]

Buy a DUNE BUGGY.

My girlfriend loves to take the dune buggy out on the weekends, we got in to geocaching to give us a reason to go for a ride.

 

I drive and she navigates. When we get there she helps me look so we can hurry up and drive again, we both have fun.

[nobby.nobbs]

you've got a husband who doesn't like gadgets??? are you sure he';s still breathing?

 

then there's the treasure hunt aspect.....it's a big kids paradise. plus it's all with the wife's blessing. he should be feeling like he's died and gone to heaven.

[+leatherman]

If you promise more of this, I can't imagine why he wouldn't follow you anywhere!?

 

A little NUDE caching can't hurt either.

[+fishfam]

I'm more interested in caching than he is, but he is interested somewhat. Because I want to go more often, I made myself learn how to do the basics on that stupid gadget. LOL Now, I can take the kids out without him whenever I want. I also try to incorporate caching into our regular trips. Like on the way to work, driving over to the coast to fish. etc. He gets what he wants to do, but we stop and cache along the way.