Post Your Geocaching Trash-talking Line Here

[Smaug1]

RenegadeKnight's post about having fun while caching got me thinking: "Woudn't it be fun to start a thread with geocaching trash-talking?

 

Since RK got me thinking about it, I'll start the thread by plagiarizing a gem from his thread:

 

“your lame cache is cracked, wet, and full of McToys you need to maintain it or you suck.”

[+Jamie Z]

You mean real trash-talking, right? Not just made up?

 

Here are some real quotes from logs I've left on cache pages:

I'm sorry to say that this cache is in terrible condition, and given my experience and the comment from other finders, the coords are inaccurate also.

I have to say that this is a really poor spot for a cache.

I found the cache easily, but it's little more than a film cannister with some wet and nasty scraps of paper inside. I didn't even bother to try to sign my name.

Good place to go to the bathroom at least.

Not a very interesting place.

Didn't expect to find a Nashville cache here in Alabama.

I was surprised, given the rurality, to find a standard Nashville lightpole micro here. Great parking lot.

Frankly, without the firetower, this was an unexciting find.

Unfortunately, the cache, and the hunt for the cache left something to be desired.

What a great park! Unfortunately, this cache doesn't live up to it. I don't think this one was very well thought out, and it shows.

 

Geesh. I sound like a grumpy old man! In my defense, a number of these are taken out of context... but only barely so. I don't make stuff up.

 

Jamie

[+CYBret]

Hey kids, here's a fun trick YOU can play on your Geocaching pals.

 

1. Find a cache of theirs that has NO ONE watching it (I think it's essential that no one be watching it).

 

2. Write out a nasty log that totally trashes their cache.

 

3. Hit the "send" button. This is the log they will receive in their email.

 

4. Go back and edit your log. Tell them how great their cache was and write, "Gotcha!"

 

5. Find some new friends.

 

Bret

[+briansnat]

Hey kids, here's a fun trick YOU can play on your Geocaching pals.

 

1. Find a cache of theirs that has NO ONE watching it (I think it's essential that no one be watching it).

 

2. Write out a nasty log that totally trashes their cache.

 

3. Hit the "send" button.  This is the log they will receive in their email.

 

4. Go back and edit your log.  Tell them how great their cache was and write, "Gotcha!"

 

5. Find some new friends.

 

Bret

Or make a new enemy if they don't have a sense of humor .

 

You mean real trash-talking, right? Not just made up?

 

Here are some real quotes from logs I've left on cache pages:

 

 

Geez Jamie, you certanly won't win the most popular award at the next event!

Now if only more people can be as honest. I know I can't bring myself to be.

Edited January 26, 2005 by briansnat

[+pdxmarathonman]

I did the edit-the-log trick on a particulary difficult puzzle cache. I typed in my verbose description of the entire experience and then put it in the cut buffer and typed in: Just clearing out some caches on my nearest page. After submitting the log I then immediately edited the cache and pasted in my real log entry. The cache owner, who had become a pretty good friend (and still is), apparently doesn't check his cache page very often. He emailed me a day or two later wondering if I really found it or if I was just sick of seeing it on my nearest page and logged it as a find to get rid of it. That was worth all the toil. He called me a few choice expletives.

 

My most Trash-talking log was: This is a perfect example of how NOT to hide a cache.

 

But that log was entirely justified!

[+cachew nut]

1. Find a cache of theirs that has NO ONE watching it (I think it's essential that no one be watching it).

Hmm, all of your caches are being watched. They suck.

[+CurmudgeonlyGal]

Hey kids, here's a fun trick YOU can play on your Geocaching pals.

1...5 (deletia)

Had some schmuck do that to me, CYBret.

 

Only there WERE people watching the cache. I was NOT amused.

[+Mastifflover]

So at what point do you go beyond being honest to just being rude?

[+CurmudgeonlyGal]

A DNF:

 

Cold. Taste free. Warm car.

 

A Note:

 

Wow! You mean we can log missing caches as a find?!  Cool!

 

A Find:

 

O.k., so the trash is gross...

 

A DNF:

 

Unfortunately with all the trash in the area and the very obvious camping spot for the homeless was a severe detractor so the kids and I left..

 

I hate caching in areas like this when it's not clear what's in the area beforehand. Especially with kids in tow.

 

Ew.

 

One of my personal favorites.  A Find:

 

Hey, only 300 feet off on your first cache. That's not too bad!

 

A Find:

 

Oooh ,goodie!

 

Used condoms on one side of the cache, and their wrappers on the other. So, so glad I didn't have the kids with me today.

 

On the other hand, we were not accosted by vagrants like last weeks cacher was. I had my pepper/tear/uv spray at the ready to go and was looking forward to using it. No takers on that today, darn the bad luck.

 

A Find:

 

Hmmm. I think this is one Gaviidae told me not to do.[/b]

 

A DNF:

 

After having to chase my youngest away from grabbing the trash bags and other garbage strewn about we decided to move onto greener pastures.

 

I'm not sure I'm as grumpy as JamieZ, tho...

 

-=-

michelle

[+Snoogans]

So at what point do you go beyond being honest to just being rude?

YEA! I thought this was TRASH TALK not the let's see how bad we can trash a cache talk.

 

SO,

 

I double dog dare the entire geocaching community to go cache nude!

 

It's even worth a find on my NEW locationless cache. It's good for any cache on ANY cache listing site. To claim a find or just to see who was crazy enough to do it look up Nude Cacher on terracaching.com.

[+stu_and_sarah]

Our log on the worst cache we've ever done was a simple:

 

TNLN

 

Posted along with 3 photos of the trash, graffiti, boarded-up buildings and sign for the local tip - all of which we saw on the 300-foot walk to the cache.

 

It wasn't our favourite

 

Stu

[+Beowulf83]

This from a log from a cache nearby...

 

when we opened the lid and lifted up the log, there was human sh** under it.

 

Although, I guess this technically doesn't fit. The cache was OK, but just had been vandalized. The owner did respond.

[Voncachstein]

 

when we opened the lid and lifted up the log, there was human sh** under it.

 

Thats pretty funny!

 

I thought this thread was going to be about trash talking other geocachers, like lines you would say to some you were competing with for FF's or something.

 

like...Your GPS is so lame, you couldn't find the coordinates to yo momma.

or.....You couldn't find a lamppost micro if you lived in the Wal Mart parking lot...

 

i dunno, i suck at making stuff up on the spot, but lets see more of those insults!

[+Beowulf83]

If it weren't so disgusting I guess it would be funny.

 

Perhaps we need a change in terminology. How about "Smack Talk" instead of "Trash Talk"?

 

I don't want to say the cache was easy, but I had to wait behind three blind rodents to sign the log.

[CoyoteRed]

Actually, this thread has given me an idea.

 

I've got some logging to do.

 

EDIT: Well, I guess I should wait until I go and scribble my name on the log first--just to be legal and all.

Edited January 26, 2005 by CoyoteRed

[+The Leprechauns]

Actually, this thread has given me an idea.

 

I've got some logging to do.

 

EDIT: Well, I guess I should wait until I go and scribble my name on the log first--just to be legal and all.

Why get hung up on technicalities?

[+welch]

Well, on the second attempt I found the cach. Boy, this cach is in some sad sad sad shape. Waterlogged is an understatement. When I pulled the cache out, I got hit in the face with some nasty swamp water. I will probably come down with jaundice, lupus, Lue Gehrig's , West Nile, and lepracy from it. Didn't dare want to open and make whatever was in it airborn.

I guess on the upside, I can finally claim it as a find, on the downside, when my fingers rot off, I guess I can put them in my next cach!!

 

not mine but was the closest thing I could think of off hand.

Edited January 26, 2005 by welch

[+sbell111]

Strange, if this thread was posted in Off-topic, it would have been really funny. Here it kinda became depressing.

[tubby and]

On an FTF:

 

This cache is very depleted. It is probably time to resalt this one with some new swag.

 

(i was too polite to actually post this, but maybe this is anonymous enough)

[+Jennifer&Dean]

A log that has always stood out in my mind:

 

Had a little trouble with the ******* caches at first, until I recognized a pattern. Luckily, I happened to have my old ****onymetry textbook along (it's like Ebonics, but for the math challanged). Turned to the ****onymetric tables in the back of the book to find that 13.71 is ****onymetric with 1371, 948 is ****onymetric with 48, and 3 is ****onymetric with 8 (but only when preceded by a decimal point), among many, many other ****onymetricies necessary to solve these caches as intended.

The hunt would have been much easier if I had a ****onymetric calculator, but sadly, since ****onymetrology is still such a rare field of study, such calculators don't exist yet. So, after just a couple hours of long hand calculations and multi-synaptical cross-references, both caches were finally located.

It's sad that some finders think the cache placer is too lazy to simply edit the cache pages and correct the abundance of 'mistakes', like any responsible geocacher would. But rest assured, that fellow ****onymetrologists recognize these caches, and their supposed 'mistakes', for the pure creative genius they really are. Thanks. If I can just make one humble suggestion though... Raise the difficulty ratings to at leat 4.5, since specialized knowledge of obscure mathematical theories is necessary for the proper solution of these caches.

 

I didn't write it. After this log the owner archived the cache and abandoned the containers.

-J

[TahoeJoe]

If caches had the aesthetic appeal of this one, I might be a retired geocacher. The noise of the busy highway puts a damper any solitude in the wilderness. I see it more of a place to take a break along the highway. If you are a carcacher, and want a quick cache location to put a notch in your geobelt, this is Ok.

But I am a positive person too. The paint design of the ammo box was great. My compliments. Also, the label was terrific too.

My friend posted this log on a nearby disappointing cache. Rude or honest (you decide)?

[+southdeltan]

Actually, this thread has given me an idea.

 

I've got some logging to do.

 

EDIT: Well, I guess I should wait until I go and scribble my name on the log first--just to be legal and all.

Make sure the logs are notes, otherwise folks will just claim you're running up your smily count.

 

sd

[+Renegade Knight]

I know you rated your cache a 1/1 but when I took my wheelchair bound grandma to the cache she insisted on me pushing her chair. I didn't get past the roadside ditch. So she insisted that I hooked her chair with a tow rope to my bronco and pull it that way. We got past the ditch but when we hit the first furrow in the farmers field her front wheels dug in and flipped her headlong into the dirt. The wheelchair was then pulled over the top of her beating her up pretty good before I could stop.

 

I think she had too much faith in your rating. If you change it maybe she won't insist on getting to the cache in her chair and I won't have to explain to the sherrif who stopped to help that I wasn't trying to kill her. Thanks.

[+fly46]

I could come up with a few to post that I've seen, but I'm afraid I'd not stop once I started. Luckily, none so far on any of my caches... Well, there was one.. something along the lines of "this isn't fun"

[+wimseyguy]

Trying to stay OT (which as I read it is to talk some smack, not just relate some disappointing, but hopefull still fun caching experiences), my 'hood has a better caching reputation than yours does.

[+Renegade Knight]

Whao, did your cache and thought I was in Nashville.

 

I found your cache it was so small, I'll bet you drive a Corvette.

 

I could feed my dog micro's and ex-lax and he would place better caches than you did.

 

The log was as wet as this cache experience.

 

Is your life so miserable that you have to take it out on us when we look for your cache?

[Captain Chaoss]

I could feed my dog micro's and ex-lax and he would place better caches than you did.

 

THAT was a great one. Almost did the "drink spewed from nose all over the keyboard" thing when I read that one.

 

Thanks.

[+reveritt]

I never intentionally insult someone's lame-a** cache in writing, but I did accidentally "leave an insulting log." This is a true story.

 

I was in NE PA visiting a friend and doing some caching. I was staying in a motel, and wanted to get up early and do Hotel Schanno Moved before hooking up with my friend. I had breakfast at a diner, and immediately drove up the mountain. I thereby violated my own hard and fast rule of not leaving the house to go caching until my morning coffee had taken its full laxative effect.

 

Twenty minutes after leaving the diner, I was on the Appalaichan Trail, and 30 minutes after that, I was searching for the cache...and the need was urgent. I had not yet found the cache, but the inevitable could no longer be postponed. It was no longer a question of if, or even when--the question now was "where."

 

I found a nice comfortable-looking log, cleared the snow off it, and assumed the necessary posture. It was a beautiful morning...the sun was just coming up and the trees were covered with ice. Although the air was rather chilly, there was no reason to rush. As I sat there, I happened to glance down, and what do I see? The cache--hidden under the very log I am seated on--about two feet from "ground zero!"

 

After regaining my dignity, I carefully retrieved the cache, made my trades, and replaced it in the same spot. I regret that the next guy to come looking for the cache probably found more than he was expecting, and probably thought someone did it on purpose, as some kind of comment. Fortunately, the next finder did not mention my log in his log.

[+Beowulf83]

Maybe that's what happened to that cache I mentioned earlier!

[+cache_test_dummies]

The cache--hidden under the very log I am seated on--about two feet from "ground zero!"

TSLS

 

Remember - always trade up

Edited January 26, 2005 by cache_test_dummies

[+denali7]

reveritt, that is the funniest thing i read all day, maybe ever. thanks!!

[CoyoteRed]

Actually, this thread has given me an idea.

 

I've got some logging to do.

 

EDIT: Well, I guess I should wait until I go and scribble my name on the log first--just to be legal and all.

Make sure the logs are notes, otherwise folks will just claim you're running up your smily count.

 

sd

Unfortunately, other folks' notes have been deleted. I'll post a find under this account to keep the trash finds off our main account.

[+drat19]

We had a cacher in Miss. whose early cache placements were, shall we say, less than excellent, and his choices of containers were similarly less-than-excellent. "Seemingly random" would be a kind way of describing some of his location choices. Interestingly, this cacher has since gone on to become one of our state's most excellent cache hiders, with good caches in well-thought-out, "hidden gem" locations.

 

But back in the day, after spending the better part of a day going after several of these not-so-good caches, my caching parter that day posted this log on one of those caches:

 

"I think I know how XXXXXXXX places his caches. He loads a pile of YYYYYYYYY (type of container) onto the back of his pickup truck and drives down the most remote, middle-of-nowhere, unpaved road he can find. Wherever one of the YYYYYYYY's falls off the back of his truck, he tosses it off onto the side of the road and marks the coordinates."

 

-Dave R.

Edited January 26, 2005 by drat19

[Captain Chaoss]

" Your cache is so lousy, a big bag of Doot was traded up."

[+OConnellz]

Personally, one of the worst things I have seen posted in a cache was in this one:

(UM Campus cache)

http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_detai...fb-d3d58314a3e7

 

Where the cache placer, and local reviewer are the same person. He apparently decided that he should acknowledge leaving a cache unavailable for a year and half as BOTH identities!

[+Joe Smith]

A few months ago I decided that I was few up with crappy micro caches and took out my frustrations in a cache log. my find was very quickly deleted.

 

Something like this:

 

I said that the cache was more "trash" than anything, that a paring lot was a horrible place to put a cache, it was unoriginal, on private property, and within full view of security cameras. the cache would likely give geocaching a bad name.

 

 

I have had some conversations with the cache placer and we have made up I think it was a learning experience.

 

I also made the mistake of bringing it up to the local cache group. Talk about a bad experience! I almost quit entirely and a few people left the group. "straw that broke the camel's back"

 

I'm a little nicer in my logs now.

 

Joe Smith

[skillett]

bones'nanner peels,coffee grounds, trashbags, dumpsters.

OOPS wrong kinda trash.

 

I just couldn't resist!

skillett

[+wandererrob]

I never intentionally insult someone's lame-a** cache in writing, but I did accidentally "leave an insulting log." This is a true story.

 

I was in NE PA visiting a friend and doing some caching. I was staying in a motel, and wanted to get up early and do Hotel Schanno Moved before hooking up with my friend. I had breakfast at a diner, and immediately drove up the mountain. I thereby violated my own hard and fast rule of not leaving the house to go caching until my morning coffee had taken its full laxative effect.

 

Twenty minutes after leaving the diner, I was on the Appalaichan Trail, and 30 minutes after that, I was searching for the cache...and the need was urgent. I had not yet found the cache, but the inevitable could no longer be postponed. It was no longer a question of if, or even when--the question now was "where."

 

I found a nice comfortable-looking log, cleared the snow off it, and assumed the necessary posture. It was a beautiful morning...the sun was just coming up and the trees were covered with ice. Although the air was rather chilly, there was no reason to rush. As I sat there, I happened to glance down, and what do I see? The cache--hidden under the very log I am seated on--about two feet from "ground zero!"

 

After regaining my dignity, I carefully retrieved the cache, made my trades, and replaced it in the same spot. I regret that the next guy to come looking for the cache probably found more than he was expecting, and probably thought someone did it on purpose, as some kind of comment. Fortunately, the next finder did not mention my log in his log.

LOL!!!

 

Normally I'd be all "WTF?!", but given the unintended nature of it... it's just plain FUNNY!

 

Still feel bad for the next cacher though.

[+reveritt]

...

 

Normally I'd be all "WTF?!", but given the unintended nature of it... it's just plain FUNNY!

 

Still feel bad for the next cacher though.

I wondered whether I should move the cache a bit faurther away, or make a heroic effort to bury my leavings, which would have been difficult with no tool. I finally decided that as the cache was very seldom visited, I was probably safe in just returning the cache to it's same spot, and walking away. As it happened, the next find was only six days later.

[+Airmapper]

Since this thread is up I'll complain a little. I went to Mt. Juliet (Just outside Nashville, which I hear has a bad reputation.) I logged 4 DNF's in that place. People were sticking them on what appeared to be private property. I found one where I had to park next to a busy highway, and go down in the ditch to get, I noted in the log I thought that one was dangerous.

 

If anyone wants to tell me about Nashville caches, feel free and save me from finding out on my own.

[+Yamahammer]

I never intentionally insult someone's lame-a** cache in writing, but I did accidentally "leave an insulting log."  This is a true story.

 

I was in NE PA visiting a friend and doing some caching.  I was staying in a motel, and wanted to get up early and do Hotel Schanno Moved before hooking up with my friend.  I had breakfast at a diner, and immediately drove up the mountain.  I thereby violated my own hard and fast rule of not leaving the house to go caching until my morning coffee had taken its full laxative effect.

 

Twenty minutes after leaving the diner, I was on the Appalaichan Trail, and 30 minutes after that, I was searching for the cache...and the need was urgent.  I had not yet found the cache, but the inevitable could no longer be postponed.  It was no longer a question of if, or even when--the question now was "where."

 

I found a nice comfortable-looking log, cleared the snow off it, and assumed the necessary posture.  It was a beautiful morning...the sun was just coming up and the trees were covered with ice.  Although the air was rather chilly, there was no reason to rush.  As I sat there, I happened to glance down, and what do I see?  The cache--hidden under the very log I am seated on--about two feet from "ground zero!"

 

After regaining my dignity, I carefully retrieved the cache, made my trades, and replaced it in the same spot.  I regret that the next guy to come looking for the cache probably found more than he was expecting, and probably thought someone did it on purpose, as some kind of comment.  Fortunately, the next finder did not mention my log in his log.

LOL!!!

 

Normally I'd be all "WTF?!", but given the unintended nature of it... it's just plain FUNNY!

 

Still feel bad for the next cacher though.

Classic!!!

[+graveyard mom]

Well, I can say one thing-this is certainly discouraging to someone just starting to hide caches. It's the exact reason I never really wanted to hide any...

#1 Our area is pretty saturated as it is

#2 Nashville has a bad rap(OBVIOUSLY) and I'd rather not be thought of like that

and

#3 I'm very insecure as it is, a bunch of logs like these may drive me away from ever hiding any more

 

Yeah I know this isn't exactly ontopic, but it is frustrating and discouraging to a newbie.

[Skovar]

When we search the forums back to the first couple of years of geocaching, we discover that it was considered extremely rude to post anything at all negative about any cache. (or cacher.) Times sure change; now, we even compete to see who can post the most negative things.

 

Something definitely went wrong, somewhere ...

Edited October 13, 2005 by Skovar

[+Renegade Knight]

This thread was about humor. Not trying to post the worst possible log. I've been on the recieving end of a few. That's life. I consider the source and don't often need to do more than that to chuckle and move on happier than before.

[Skovar]

This thread was about humor. Not trying to post the worst possible log. I've been on the recieving end of a few. That's life. I consider the source and don't often need to do more than that to chuckle and move on happier than before.

I agree that different people find humor in different things. But that scathing putdown you or I might find hilarious someone else might find devastating. We are the nice, friendly, family-oriented activity that even Harriet Miers would approve of, aren't we?

[+jadeskyline]

I have a cache I can't find near my home cords. I wasn't tryin' to be rude but: DNF--"you must hide ammo cans better than you do micros, i dont think its there anymore."

 

I hope i didn'tn offend stumblealong. Sorry for being rude, i'll just try harder to find a well placed cache!

[+El Diablo]

As funny as some of the rude/thoughtless/sarcastic logs can be, you might consider the effect that it has on the owner.

 

I'm all for discouraging lame caches, but it might be done better in a private email explaining what was wrong with the cache and how you precieve that it might be improved. It might make the difference between a future good cache hider, or someone that went away offended.

 

To ridicule anyone in public is bad form in my not so humble opinion. Helpful suggestions will go a lot farther than ridicule.

 

El Diablo

[WH]

I like refreshing MO cache pages repeatedly just to make the owner wonder why I've viewed their cache a couple hundred times.

[+Snoogans]

I like refreshing MO cache pages repeatedly just to make the owner wonder why I've viewed their cache a couple hundred times.

[+bilgeratt]

I know you rated your cache a 1/1 but when I took my wheelchair bound grandma to the cache she insisted on me pushing her chair. I didn't get past the roadside ditch. So she insisted that I hooked her chair with a tow rope to my bronco and pull it that way. We got past the ditch but when we hit the first furrow in the farmers field her front wheels dug in and flipped her headlong into the dirt. The wheelchair was then pulled over the top of her beating her up pretty good before I could stop.

 

I think she had too much faith in your rating. If you change it maybe she won't insist on getting to the cache in her chair and I won't have to explain to the sherrif who stopped to help that I wasn't trying to kill her. Thanks.

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.