Geocaching Humor

[+Katydid & Miles Stone]

Some of this humor is rather lame and a spin on fishing or hunting humor. Please add your humor to the list - let's keep the jokes clean please. As always, enjoy the adventure!

 

Too Cold to Geocache

 

Saturday morning a geocacher gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long Johns, grabs the GPS and goes to the garage to warm up his car and head down to find a new cache posting. He backs his car out of the garage and discovers the rain is really pouring down. It is a torrential downpour. There is also some snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 MPH.

 

He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long; so minutes later, he puts his car in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is really terrible."

 

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out geocaching in that!”?

 

New to Geocaching

 

Bob and Sue were new to Geocaching. They did their homework and found a number of caches along the Metacomet Trail. The decided to take a long weekend vacation and find some of these caches. Making sure they were well prepared, they spent a small fortune on all sorts of equipment - maps, GPSs, backpacks, hiking boots, sleeping bags, etc. They rented a 4x4 jeep in the event they had to take some rough roads. They even took a class on how to use their GPS. The first day they were quite frustrated when they didn’t find anything. The same thing happened on the second day, and on the third day. It went on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, Bob finds a cache. As they drove home they're really depressed.

 

Sue turned to Bob and said, "Do you realize finding this one lousy cache cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"

 

Bob replied, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't find any more!"

 

A Geocacher’s Tale

 

Two fellas are looking for a cache under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his GPS and continues looking for the cache.

 

The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

 

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 30 years."

 

Cachers Crossing a River

 

One day three cachers were heading towards a new cache and came upon a raging, violent river. They all commented as to how well the owner had laid out the cache to make it extremely challenging. Obviously, they needed to get to the other side, but were perplexed how to best accomplish this.

 

The first man prayed to God, "God, give me the strength to cross this river." Magically, his arm and leg muscles swelled with incredible strength. He was able to swim across the river in about an hour.

 

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, "God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Miraculously, a kayak appeared and he was able to row across the river in about the same amount of time.

 

The third man was amazed how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God, "God, give me the strength, ability and intelligence to cross this river." The man suddenly turned into a woman. She looked at the map and walked across the bridge.

[+briansnat]

How many geocachers does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

(page down for answer)

 

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One. Maybe two if you need someone to hold the ladder.

[+Jeep_Dog]

Stock broker goes Geocaching

 

A stockbroker from Dallas got tired of all the stories of his office colleagues who went geocaching every weekend. They frequently boasted of their prowess in the hunt and how many caches they had found. So not to be outdone this broker decides he's going geocaching to show them all up. He buys the most expensive GPSr available, all his clothes and gear from Groundspeak and goes geocaching. After an exasperating day of hiking through the brush and briars without finding a single cache, he heads back to his car. On the way back, he sees an easy 1/1 waypoint in his GPSr located in a small clearing next to a fence. He diverts from the trail 40 feet and easily finds the cache.

 

As the geocacher opens the book to log his first find , he was confronted by a rancher who says, "What the heck do you think you're doin', city boy?"

 

The guy replies, "I'm logging my find."

 

The rancher replies, "The Corps of Engineers are wrong with the fence boundry. This is my property, and that's my ammo can."

 

The guy says, "Oh come on, I've been out here all day and and that is the only cache I've found, and I see the Corps of Engineer post markings. I found my first cache, and I'm logging the find!"

 

The rancher again says, "My property, my ammo can."

 

Well, they argued for a few minutes and, finally, the rancher says, "Ok, I'll tell you what, we'll settle this cowboy style."

 

The guy says, "What's that?"

 

The rancher says, "Well, I kick you in the crotch as hard as I can, and then you kick me in the crotch as hard as you can, and we keep this up and the last man standing keeps the ammo can."

 

The guy not wanting to return home empty-handed reluctantly agrees. The rancher wearing large pointy cowboy boots haul back and kicks the guy in the crotch with all his might. The guy's eyes roll back in his head, he coughs and wheezes but barely manages to remain standing.

 

He composes himself somewhat and says to the farmer, "Okay, now its my turn."

 

The rancher replies, "Oh, that ain't my property. You can have that stupid can."

[+Jeep_Dog]

Geoachacher stranded on a desert island

 

This geocacher is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day he sees a speck on the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks to himself, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks to himself, "It's not a raft." Then coming out of the surf was this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

 

She comes up to the guy and asks "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

 

"Ten years!" He said.

 

She then reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a fresh pack of cigarettes.

 

He reaches over and takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

 

Then she asked, "How long has it been since you had a good drink of whiskey?"

 

"He replies, "Ten years!"

 

She then reaches over and, unzips her waterproof pocket on her right sleeve and pulls out a flask and, gives it to the guy. He then takes a long drink and says, "Wow, that's fantastic!"

 

Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"

 

The man replies, "Oh, my! Don't tell me that you've got a GPS receiver in there!"

[+beopots]

One autumn day a redneck was out during deer season. He had no luck so far, until suddenly he noticed something rustling in the brush nearby. He shouldered his gun, took his shot and hurried over to inspect his kill. To his suprise he found a geocacher laying on the ground in agony. The hunter was shocked and immediatley called 911 on his cell phone. The redneck exclaimed, "I accidentally shot a geocacher, what should I do?" The operator responded, "Okay sir, calm down, I'll walk you through the steps. First we have to make sure he's dead." The redneck said, "All right, hold on...." the operator on the line heard *click-click, BOOM* and the hillbilly put the phone back to his ear and said, "Okay, now what?"

[Mr. TSP]

All the caches 'round here are the same.

Every one of them is just so lame.

I don't mean to nag.

But I hate the cheap swag.

So I just might get out of the game!

[+SeventhSon]

You think this is all a big mess

It causes you a lot of distress

You're in such a snit

You wanna just quit

So can I have your GPS?

[+doctor scotland]

NOT AT ALL GEOCACHING RELATED - BUT IT WAS TOLD TO ME BY A FELLOW GEOCACHER!

 

Why did the baker have smelly hands?

 

because - he kneaded a poo!

[+Anonymous']

I think that joke is off topic.

[Keystone]

There are threads in the off-topic forum for general jokes. This thread can thrive here only for so long as it stays geocaching-related. Thanks.

 

Keystone Approver

The Groundspeak Forums: Sit back, enjoy, and leave the moderating to me!

[+Sputnik 57]

A notable geocacher sat in his local bar. The bartender couldn't help noticing that he was really upset. "Mister, you look like you just lost your best friend," he said.

 

The geocacher said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I did. You see, I left bright and early this morning to go find some caches. Thirty minutes out, and I realized that I left my PDA with all of my cache info sitting on my counter, so I had to go back home to get it. When I got their, I found my wife with him on the couch."

 

"What did you tell your wife?" the bartender asked. "I told her to pack her things and get out," said the geocacher, sternly.

 

"And what did you say to your friend?" ask the bartender.

 

The geocacher sighed, and said, "Bad dog. Bad dog!"

 

{I hope that's not over the top}

[Cholo]

A geocacher walks into a tavern and sets his on the bar. The bartender yells, "Hey nerd!!...you can't bring a in here." The geocacher replies, "But bartender, this is special, he can lick....

 

I just remembered, I can't tell this here.

[Keystone]

The topic was started with the goal of being a thread for *clean* geocaching-related jokes. As people are having difficulty sticking to the topic, despite a prior moderator post, I am closing this thread.

 

Jokes could be posted in the OT forum, within the boundaries of good taste.