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First Ever Dnf?


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Log of the pirate vessel "Twigger's Revenge", 7th June 1730.

 

"Raised the coast i'the forenoon, rounded to in Seasider's Bay and cast anchor - shoal water below the keelson, Ambu's Light bearing NW by W half a league - and took the ship's boats to the shore. Ordered a search right speedily, but the crew were mutinous (it being a Thursday) and they examined only three rocks and a small cormorant.

 

'There be no cache here', saith the first Mate.

'Avast there, and dadgum yer eyes!' quoth I, and pistolled him on the spot.

 

How we laughed. T'was then the lookout reported that a man-o'war had appeared in the offing, unnoticed - right soon she proved to be the "Eckington", a naval frigate speedy and well-manned. Pistolled the lookout for negligence, and straightway pulled back to the old "Revenge", avasting and belaying as we went.

 

The King's ship bore away to fire a warning shot, and there lay his mistake, for we bryced up the trunnions and wore round the headland wi' the wind a point free and two reefs in the spanker boom. Gave the enemy a ball from our stern-chaser, hitting him in the futtocks, and so made our escape..."

 

Historians are still debating the significance of this new document. It is thought that, around that time, the ship was commanded by a psychopathic Irish renegade named Luke O'Zade. Nicknamed "Fizzy Luco" on account of his unruly mop of orange hair, O'Zade was a known associate of Newkie Brown, an indigent Tyneside brothel-keeper. During 1729, Brown was one of those involved in the notorious "Spanish Sombrero" incident: his sister Belinda who p

 

(That's enough history - Admin)

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well I'll av no choice but to run ye thru like a swordfish

 

Incidentally - there's a whole bookful of this Sabbatini-esque nonsense in "Pyrates" by the incomparable George Macdonald Fraser. (Harper Collins pb £8.99 or less. ISBN0006470173) - which was the inspiration for the piece above.

Inspiration?? Ya mean it's no true, :lol:

I be gutted like yon haddock. :blink:

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