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How To Think Like A Cache...

crzycrzy

By crzycrzy
in General geocaching topics

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pnew

+pnew

Posted
Posted

If I was a cache I'd probably come out of hiding and spill all my contents out on the trail so the next geocacher to come along would feel sorry for me and think I was "muggled". It would take some pretty good acting but I think I could fool'em

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Johnnie Stalkers

+Johnnie Stalkers

Posted
Posted (edited)

In the beginning I was clean and full of life(swag).

People gathered around me in awe.

I lived a full life, met lots of good people and a few A-Holes along the way.

After time, my skin began to fade and my insides didn't always work so well.

I began to leak uncontrollably.

My joints squeak when used, and my handles are stiff with age.

Soon I will be forgotten and go to that great tree stump in the sky.

Edited by Johnnie Stalkers
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wray_clan

+wray_clan

Posted
Posted

Yeesh.....just because I'm not an ammo box, just because I'm invisible means I don't get any respect?!? You probably just know me as "number padding." How would you like to get called 'matress stuffing' your whole life?!?! Oh, and, look, there's that "Yellow Jeep" hotshot. "Ooh, look at me, you can find me all over the world so pay a lot of attention to me. Blah blah blah blah blee blee blah." Gosh....

 

(This is supposed to be a disgruntled virtual. I have nothing against locationless or virtual caches.)

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carleenp

+carleenp

Posted
Posted

Day -1 (before sentience): A void. No awareness.

 

Day 1 (creation): Awareness: What am I? Do I exist? I feel things inside me. What are they? What are they for?

 

Day 2 (placement): Apprehension: Where am I going? I hear a voice speak: "we will put it by the lake."... It is dark now, and suddenly I hear a roaring noise and my surroundings seem to move and vibrate.... A door opens and it is light again.... Oh what a pretty lake! Can I stay here?.... Wait! What are you doing to me? The lake! I want to see the lake! Why am I being stuffed in a dark hole? Why are branches being thrown on me?.... Please don't leave me here alone!

 

Day 3 (discovery): Intrigue: I hear voices: "over here, no over there, oh here it is, hey my GPS still says it should be 5 feet away, they got the coords wrong!".... I am being lifted an opened. Things are being removed from me. Don't take part of me away!.... But wait, something new is in here now.... Why am I here?

 

Week 2 (existence): Confusion: People visit me often now.... Sometimes they say things like "neat cache" or "great hide." I don't know what they mean, but I can tell it is a compliment to me in some way. I feel happy then. Sometimes they seem to want to visit but then decide not to. I hear them nearby, but then they curse and say they couldn't find it. Once one said "stinking thorn bush."... What couldn't they find? Did I make them angry? Why won't they talk to me?

 

Week 6 (illness): Suffering: Less people come to see me now.... But then, just as I am getting lonely and depressed, I am found! Oh the joy when I am picked up and opened!.... But wait! They say something about putting a "bug" in me. Will that hurt me?.... Another visitor now. They remove the "bug." But what is being put in me now? It moves and has fur. I am not sure about this!.... The thing inside me, a "hamster" I think they called it, is doing things to the other things inside me. It won't talk to me either. I feel all eaten up inside.... A person visits, removes the thing, and I think saves me.... But can I be saved? Am I actually real?

 

Month 3 (actualization): Understanding: I have listened to the voices of the people that visit me. I know now that I exist. I am real and have a purpose. I contain messages for other people. People also use me to convey objects to intended recipients. They call me "cache." I contain things, therefore I am cache. I feel important now.

 

Month 6 (delusion): Indulgence: I am the great almighty cache. The great hide. The savior of humanity. Few people visit me now because only the chosen GPS and orienteering humans are now allowed to seek me. They are the chosen ones who come to me through the stinking thorns to save humanity. They are on a dangerous quest to seek my wisdom. Only the chosen are allowed to convey messages in, and gain wisdom from, what I now know is called my "log book." Some fail in their quest, but many succeed. Only they may take a treasure and leave another. Soon humanity will be saved.

 

Year 1 (decline): Anxiety: 2 months now since I have been found.... I have less things inside me. When people visit, they tend to only leave a message.... Are my treasures less important now? I am lonely. I am depressed.... Is the quest going to fail? Is humanity lost?

 

Year 1.5 (death): Fear: 5 months now since I have been found.... I hear voices: "it's hailing get under those bushes, arrg stinking thorn bush, hey! what is this thing? some rusty old ammo can!".... I am being opened, hail falls inside me. The voices say: "yuck! it's full of golf balls, what is this? it looks like part of one of those McDonald's toys, wait shut it before Mom sees."... I am closed again.... Another voice: "Don't mess with it, it could be dangerous, we should call 911."... New voices now. I am being touched gently by something called a "police." Things are being attached to me.... Why doesn't the police person want to open me and seek my wisdom? Did I do something wrong? Is my mighty power gone now?.... The police person goes away and I hear a voice: "stand back everyone."... A void. No awareness.

 

Day -1 (before resurrection): A void. No awareness.

 

Day 1 (resurrection): Awareness: What am I? Do I exist? I feel things inside me. What are they? What are they for?

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SamLowrey

+SamLowrey

Posted
Posted
If I was a cache I'd probably come out of hiding and spill all my contents out on the trail so the next geocacher to come along would feel sorry for me and think I was "muggled". It would take some pretty good acting but I think I could fool'em

Well, so you say. Really you would do it so the next cacher would write a nasty log about the previous cacher who didn't hide the cache well enough and start a huge flamewar on the forums. You have a mean streak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

J/K B):huh:

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