The Perfect Politically Correct Cache.

[+Renegade Knight]

Politically Correct Cache

 

This is something I’ve pondered for some time. The perfect cache. One everyone could agree on. One you could find without regard to your race, religion, handicap, creed, national origin, sexual orientation, skill, ability, or any of a dozen other categories that people are paid somewhere to track.

 

The key here is to eliminate everything offensive to someone. What’s left is by the process of elimination the perfect cache.

 

First of all the perfect cache needs a name. The name can’t be in English because that would signify that we have a national language here in the USA. It can’t be spelled with Latin alphabetical characters, that would signify a preference for a specific national background. Thus the cache will be nameless.

 

Terrain:

Skill plays a part here.

On concrete someone could trip over the cracks.

In rocks, someone could fall.

In an area accessable at night. Sorry it’s not safe past dark.

In the woods. Nope, animals and plants have rights and we have no business infringing on those rights.

In a park where people are monitored and controlled. Nope. Parks are off limits. Too many people impacting the things the park is there to preserve for the people to see.

In an abandoned building. Nope, it might fall down around you.

In a cave. Nope. Cavers don’t like this.

In a mall. Nope. Seniors will think you are planting a bomb and call you in.

Off a paved area. Nope, can’t get there in a wheel chair.

Hidden. Nope someone of low sleuthing skill couldn’t find it.

In plain sight. Nope. It will get plundered.

I could go on but it seems that no terrain is acceptable so the cache will not be located in any terrain.

 

Container:

Tupperware and plastic containers. Nope, logs turn to mush due to leaks.

Ammo Can’s you can’t see in. Nope. They might get blown up.

Clearly the cache container of choice will be no container.

 

Land Type

Private. Nope “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, could be taken as racial. This won’t do.

Public fee areas. These areas charge a fee and would not be accessible to our unemployed friends.

Public lands, Most public land is remote. Our walking and biking brothers and sisters will have trouble. Nope.

Indian Reservations. Alas they are taking to charging a trespass permit to all non member peoples. This discriminates against everyone except the tribe and against our poor geocachers. Not going to fly.

Waterways. These are all bounded by a wetland fringe. Can’t be disturbing that.

Underground. Banned per geocaching policy.

Archeological sites. They won’t tell us where they are, so even if they were not banned per geocaching rules it wouldn’t work.

In town. Any area more than 50 years old is historic by definition. As everyone knows preservation means don’t do anything that involves people. So no.

Near a road. Most roads are more than 50 years old. See above for historic.

Near a new road. Unfortunately no guarantee can be made than an old road won’t be driven on to get to the new road.

Near a railroad. Banned per geocaching policy.

On asphalt. In a parking lot, road, or bike path this would constitute a hazard and so can’t be done.

Off asphalt. This would not be accessible by ADA guidelines.

In a geocaching preserve. These don’t exist yet. To construct one would involve a grant and wetlands mitigation, historical and environmental clearances and is a 5 year project. We want the cache to be placed today so that people won’t die before they get a chance to find it (that discriminates against people with only a short time remaining on this earth)

While this list is not all inclusive it does illustrate that there is no adequate type of political, geographical or manmade land form that is suitable. Thus the cache will not be located on any landform. (or above it due to airplanes)

 

Hiding/finding Guidelines.

Coordinates. This discriminates against those who can’t afford a GPS.

Provide written Clues. This discriminates against those who can’t read or do math in the case of a cache that requires some form of math.

So the perfect cache will not have a written description or clues, no math, and no coordinates.

 

Cache Type.

Per these forums.

Most everyone hates some form of traditional. Too easy, too hard, not scenit, too remote, too urban. So that’s out.

Locationles sucks (again per these forums)

Virtual Caches suck (yup, per these forums)

Benchmarks suck (hmmm… source the forums again?)

And since everyone speaks up for hating some other type of cache they all suck.

Thus the perfect loved by all cache will have a type of “none”

 

And so there you have it. The perfect cache designed by committee and/or extremist that fits the bill will be:

 

The no name, no where, no how, and no way cache.

 

The moral of this long story is this. Quit *****ing so much and start caching. Be careful because YOU might resemble that remark.

 

Wherever you go there you are.

[+The Leprechauns]

This cache is offensive to optimists and positive-thinking people everywhere. I recommend that it be archived immediately.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

If there's no accounting for stupidity, then why do I need to file a tax return?

[+Liberto]

How do you decrypt this " *****ing "?

[+Mr. Snazz]

quote:

---

Originally posted by The Leprechauns:

This cache is offensive to optimists and positive-thinking people everywhere. I recommend that it be archived immediately.

---

 

Don't worry, most geocachers (ones who post to these forums, anyway) are pedantic know-it-alls. No optomists or positive thinkers here!

[+Criminal]

Yikes! I thought we beat this to death here. Good topic nonetheless....

[+Newenglandah]

But some may hate me thinking it is!

Happy Caching

 

See you in the woods!

Natureboy1376

[+Jennifer&Dean]

If I'm in a meditative state doing/seeing nothingness and this cache floats by.... Can I log it?

Good way to put the "if you can't please ANYONE, just try pleasing EVERYONE" idea.

-Jennifer

 

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. (JM Barrie)

[+Team GPSaxophone]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Liberto:

How do you decrypt this " *****ing "?

---

I hope you aren't serious, but here goes:

Think of what a female dog is called....

[+Liberto]

Was definitly kidding.

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Team GPSaxophone:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Liberto:

How do you decrypt this " *****ing "?

---

I hope you aren't serious, but here goes:

Think of what a female dog is called....

---

[+poksal]

for all that energy, but, I've found all my few (20 until tomorrow) caches plasant and haven't needed to use the female dog word about any of them.

 

There are really no bad caches, only bad experiences during hunting caches. For we aren't really there for the cache, but for the experience of hunting and sharing the experience with our fellow man. Else, we would not all be here typing on a plastic device that comunicates to a computer just to reach out and touch a another cacher.

However, remember, even the bad experiences are going to be enjoyable to share here. So....

we win-win as long as we return healthy.

 

... I hate it when I get all philosophical.

 

...I need to to cache in.

 

** The worst suggestion of a life time may be the catalyst to the best idea of the century, don't fail to listen to suggestions.

[+EraSeek]

Well put, Renegade Knight! People just need to take a breath , quite carrying so much baggage around all the time. Yes, some rules make sense, but common sense will usually cover these for most people.

Lets try to enjoy each others company as best we can.

 

 

[This message was edited by EraSeek on January 03, 2003 at 06:54 PM.]

[+Breaktrack]

Are we having a bad day, or WHAT????

 

C'mon, don't hold back, tell us what you REALLY think!!!!!

 

"Trade up, trade even, or don't trade!!!" My philosophy of life.

[+GrizzlyJohn]

With all of the above restrictions how about if each of us is our own cache. Well Ok maybe there are some that find ourselves not PC (and proud of it). But at least we could spend geocaching time trying to find ourselves.

[Cholo]

Originally posted by Renegade Knight:

Politically Correct Cache

 

sexual orientation

 

That's just great! I suppose this'll need a GPSr, too?

[Chameleon Circuit]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Mr. Snazz:

 

Don't worry, most geocachers (ones who post to these forums, anyway) are pedantic know-it-alls ...

---

 

... with bad breath and other personal hygiene issues.

[+CCrew]

quote:

---

Originally posted by GrizzlyJohn:

With all of the above restrictions how about if each of us is our own cache. Well Ok maybe there are some that find ourselves not PC (and proud of it). But at least we could spend geocaching time trying to find ourselves.

---

 

Oh geez... this explains why they always seem to hunt me while I'm in the bathroom!

 

Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side

[Cape Cod Cacher]

I drink beer and smoke cigarettes. Take good aim, I have a narrow @$$. I eat red meat, I kill lobsters for a living. Deal with it.

[muttz]

bump.

 

Seemed like a good read, and I got the bump idea from another thread. To stay on topic, how much has changed since this politically correct discussion?

 

Let's see who rings in the most--the noobs or the old timers.

 

[+Woodlit]

I second the motion, way to much complaining going on.

[+Right Wing Wacko]

I second the motion, way to much complaining going on.

 

So you are complaining about all the complaining are you!

[muttz]

The only problem with this SPORT GAME ACTIVITY (Circle One) is that people are the ones participating in it. If it was everyone's dogs participating food would be mandatory, a turd close to the cache would be okay, they'd sign the log by peeing on a real log, all containers would be hanidicap accessible because the dogs don't have any opposable thumbs, other cachers would be greeted with a growl and a sniff, and people would have to be the ones to originally hide the caches because dogs would just think the idea of caching too stupid to bother with except for finding the hidden food that takes us back to the first part of this very looooooooong sentence!

 

And man, I don't even want to think about cats being geocachers!

 

I edited to correct a mistake. Imagine that, if you will, me making a mistake!

Edited January 1, 2007 by muttz

[+TrailGators]

As of midnight I can't complain anymore and I'm not complaining about not being able to complain!

[+beezerb]

We like to find a really *****in' cache, man.

[+flask]

i'm not sure you really understand the concept of "political correctness"; it does not refer to anything that some people don't like, nor does it refer to a thing that is necessarily impossible for everyone to do.

 

since i would rather think about "grammatical correctness", i will allow you to do your own research.

 

you may wish to start, for instance, with political movements in which women demanded to be treated as people, or in which handicapped people demanded accomodation to make it possible for them to use public facilities.

 

in the early days even the language and the political processes worked against these and other aims, so many people in these and other movements sent out the language police to change the terms. as with many such attempts to make positive change, it got taken to an extent that it became a caricature of itself.

 

real politcal correctness does not demand to be cultureless. it simply demands to be free of the arrogance that its cultural background is not the only legitimate one.

 

hello, dominant culture! you're just fine the way you are. all you really have to do to be a good world citizen is to play nice and share.

 

this may be open to some debate, but i believe that your truly politically correct cache is simply rated correctly with regard to physical accessibility, permits the finder to log it in his or her native language, and does not promote hatred or discrimination on the basis of race, gender, national heritage or other protected group.

 

this last bit may be problematic for some, but a little respectful conversation about perceived problems usually takes care of it.

 

it is not useful to make fun of people who are trying to include as many people as possible. regardless of how successful they are it's still a pretty good goal.

[+Right Wing Wacko]

in the early days even the language and the political processes worked against these and other aims, so many people in these and other movements sent out the language police to change the terms. as with many such attempts to make positive change, it got taken to an extent that it became a caricature of itself.

 

I beleive George Orwell had a term for this. It was called NewSpeak. Then of course there was ThoughtCrime!

[+BlueDeuce]

The perfect cache. One everyone could agree on.

 

Now that's funny!

[Tahosa and Sons]

I've read it at least five times and I think you have finally described the WOW factor.

[+Bad_CRC]

wow, this is the whiniest troll thread I've seen in a while.

 

[+Mule Ears]

But the latitude/longitude system promotes a Eurocentric view of the world, what with the Prime Meridian running through England and all. This is even more insidious than using "oriental" instead of "Asian."

[+AMMOMAN]

Politically Correct Cache This is something I’ve pondered for some time. The perfect cache. The perfect cache designed by committee and/or extremist that fits the bill will be:The no name, no where, no how, and no way cache.The moral of this long story is this. Quit *****ing so much and start caching. Be careful because YOU might resemble that remark. Wherever you go there you are.

 

Bravo! I dislike reading long post, but I'm glad I made an exception this time. This really made me re-think a few things. Thanks for the post!

[+Confucius' Cat]

If I'm in a meditative state doing/seeing nothingness and this cache floats by.... Can I log it?

1. Yes if you want to be called a cheater.

 

2. It is legitimate if you "visualized" signing the log

[Suscrofa]

But the latitude/longitude system promotes a Eurocentric view of the world, what with the Prime Meridian running through England and all. This is even more insidious than using "oriental" instead of "Asian."

 

True indeed !

 

I must add that even time is eurocentric and christian, so in additon the perfect cache must be TIMELESS !

 

Yes, this excessive politically correctness is the plague of the western world and certainly one of the root of our problem and loss of valor.

[+Mule Ears]

Valor: exactly. I know that the word is apt because I can hear the post-modernists scoffing and snickering.

 

There's a cache called Handicapper General (GCZ3PD) whose theme is similar to that of this thread. The name is based on the old Kurt Vonnegut story Harrison Bergeron. The cache is located on a cliff over a lethal drop. Part of its description:

 

One day, all caches will be at ground level because not everybody can climb. They will be within arms reach of a flat paved road because not everybody has a 4WD vehicle nor is everyone in good physical shape or have the know-how, guts, and skills to land navigate beyond their vehicle. All caches should actually be near public transportation because not everyone has their own vehicle. All caches must be at least the size of a shoe box, painted in bright conspicuous colors, and set in plain sight because some people don’t have the skills to figure out clever micros. All caches must be marked with a large, clearly visible sign because not everyone can afford a GPS, and some of the people that can afford them are too un-skilled to operate them. Puzzle and mystery caches will be forbidden because some people aren’t intelligent or diligent or interested enough to solve them. You must be able to log the cache as a find without ever visiting it because some people live too far away to physically visit it and that’s just not fair either. Geo scoreboards will be eliminated because nobody should be ahead of anybody else.

[+Renegade Knight]

Valor: exactly. I know that the word is apt because I can hear the post-modernists scoffing and snickering.

 

There's a cache called Handicapper General (GCZ3PD) whose theme is similar to that of this thread. The name is based on the old Kurt Vonnegut story Harrison Bergeron. ...

 

I loved the concept in that book. Especially the part that shows nothing really changed because you could tell how beautiful and graceful a person is by the sheer quanity of handicapping brick a brack they had to wear.