Funniest log I ever read

[CacheMonkeez]

Check out Oregone's log and subsequent note.

 

I was rolling on the floor laughing.

[+Wander Lost]

ROTFLMAO!!!!

 

That is typical of an oregone log.

 

I hope you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you've heard is not what I meant. --Richard Nixon

 

 

[This message was edited by Wander Lost on August 09, 2003 at 05:29 PM.]

[+BullDogBob&Double00]

I hope he writes for a living. If not he missed his calling.

 

"WITHOUT GEOGRAPHY YOU'RE NOWHERE....Jimmy Buffett

[The Pet Posse]

Oh My God!! Was that ever FUNNY!!

 

He SHOULD be writing for a living!

 

Dogs Have Owners....Cats Have Staff!!

[Tikiroy]

Great Log!! I checked out some of his other cache logs, and he definitely has a way with funny stories...

 

"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"

[+Brian - Team A.I.]

Does this guy do logs of this length for ALL of his 871 caches??!?!

 

Brian

Team A.I.

[+sbukosky]

I don't mean to be insulting but he lost me 1/3rd of the way into the message.

[+TotemLake]

Good lord! I'm still laughing!

 

Cheers!

TL

[+Team GPSaxophone]

That was great! Too bad he doesn't have pictures of some of these memories. I want to go to his 10 year reunion just to see if he's telling the truth about all of these people.

 

Took sun from sky, left world in eternal darkness

[+Snoogans]

Funny to be sure. I still think his Soapy Boy/ Rinsey Boy log was wayyy more funny.

 

I'm still lookin for a woman who wants to try that one with me. Ya think AuntGiGi might be game? I plan to buy his shirt from Cafe Press after I achieve that experience.....LOL..I crack myself up.

 

Sngans

Sacred cows make the best hamburger....Mark Twain.

[Thee Old Sage]

I agree with Snoogans. Soapy boy/Rinsy boy has got to be the best log ever. I wonder if oregone has ever thought of making a book out of all his logs. I would be first in line to buy it. That way I wouldn't have to sit at the computer all day to read everything he has to say.

[CacheMonkeez]

Can you put a link to soapy/rinsy boy?

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Thee Old Sage & his homies:

I agree with Snoogans. Soapy boy/Rinsy boy has got to be the best log ever. I wonder if oregone has ever thought of making a book out of all his logs. I would be first in line to buy it. That way I wouldn't have to sit at the computer all day to read everything he has to say.

---

[+GOT GPS?]

Convert the logs to Books on Tape, that would work, and even have it in Oregone's voice.

[+Cadence]

Found this quote from another thread:

---------------------

Log by oregone.

I don't know what it is about motel rooms that make me want to be all naked all the time, but it's oddly comforting.

lauren and i play this game when we go to motels: when i'm in the shower, she does her best to hide somewhere in the room. Then, i rush out of the shower covered in lather yelling 'SOAPY BOY IS HERE!' in a Charlton Heston voice, find her immediately (not a lot of places to hide, you know), and then slide all over her making a big mess in the process. Then i jump back in the still-running shower, rinse off, then jump out and jump on her again yelling 'RINSY BOY IS HERE!' It's a really fun game, and i recommend it to all.

------------------------

 

We only ever use ONE of the queen size beds...hmm.

 

OddTodd

 

Cadence

(OddTodd and CheleBell)

FRS2,12GMRS22(WPXD965)

[+Brainerd]

Please post the coords to the skivies.

 

Just kidding. Extremely funny log.

 

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.

Henry David Thoreau

[+Snoogans]

Not a log, but still the funniest thing that I ever read on this site:

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by joefrog:

 

I like monkeys.

 

The pet store was selling them for 5¢ each. I thought that was odd since they were normally a couple thousand dollars each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

 

I bought 200.

 

I like monkeys.

 

I took my 200 monkeys home.

 

I have a big car.

 

I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund.

 

He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals.

 

I laughed.

 

Then they punched my genitals.

 

I stopped laughing.

 

I herded them into my apartment.

 

They didn't adapt very well to their new environment.

 

They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall.

 

Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

 

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died.

 

No apparent reason.

 

They all just sort of dropped dead.

 

Kinda odd like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.

 

dadgum cheap monkeys.

 

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my apartment. On the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase.

 

It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

 

I tried to flush one down the toilet.

 

It didn't work. It got stuck.

 

Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

 

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals.

 

That worked for a while.

 

That is until they began to decompose.

 

Then it started to smell real bad.

 

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber.

 

I was embarrassed.

 

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.

 

Unfortunately, there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds.

 

I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

 

I tried burning them.

 

Little did I know my bed was flammable.

 

I had to extinguish the fire.

 

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.

 

The odor wasn't improving.

 

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys or use the bathroom.

 

I severely beat one of my monkeys.

 

I felt better.

 

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates.

 

I told him that I had a wet one.

 

He couldn't take that one either.

 

I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

 

I finally arrived at a solution.

 

I gave them out as Christmas gifts.

 

My friends didn't know quite what to say.

 

They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying.

 

Ingrates.

 

So I punched them in the genitals.

 

I like monkeys.

 

I guess I'll have to put them in a cache.

 

Joel (joefrog)

 

---

 

Now THAT'S funny!!!

 

Sngans

Sacred cows make the best hamburger....Mark Twain.

[+Team GPSaxophone]

Good one, Snoog

 

Took sun from sky, left world in eternal darkness

[Micqn]

 

Oh Oregone, Where art thou?

 

Good thing you weren't wearing Kjerstens undies when you ran into that bear.

 

Don't Drink And Park: Accidents Cause People.

[+T-Mac GH]

I've gone back and read some of Oregone's logs. I had to stop reading them because I was laughing so hard I could not breathe.

I am hoping that after reading some of them others will be inspired to write more than "nice hike. TNLN. TFTC."

If I only had that kind of humor...

 

"Let me see if I got this right... you have to buy an expensive GPSr to find a box of junk?" - T-Mac's Son

"There's happy meal toys in the boxes? Let's go" - T-Mac's Son again

[+WestyCrew]

I’ve been enamored with oregone ever since I read his first log. In fact I bribed him with PBR knowing he could not resist finding my geo and then logging one of his epic life stories or character building experiences. When I saw he logged the geo, I printed the log and found a nice place with a cold beer to enjoy what was guaranteed to be an adventure into the mind of strangely funny guy who enjoys geoing, soap lather and the possibility of cheerleaders, and of course PBR.

Now that we have made Oregone’s head bigger than it already is (im sure he’ll think of a way to make that a compliment—Hmmmmm), my husband wants me to leave on last piece of advice, Keep Your Women Away. I have no idea why he would say that?????

WestyCrew

 

SEEKER

[+SamLowrey]

quote:

---

Originally posted by sbukosky:

I don't mean to be insulting but he lost me 1/3rd of the way into the message.

---

 

I guess he never heard that brevity is the soul of wit. I understand offbeat humor and I've seen it before in reviews written by customers on some ecommerce sites. Granted, I only read a few of his logs after seeing this one, but it looks more like attention-whoring to me at the expense of others. This isn't a place to go off on some tangent trying to be like Woody Allen or something. If he want to do that, he can come here.

[+TotemLake]

quote:

---

Originally posted by SamLowrey:

quote:

---

Originally posted by sbukosky:

I don't mean to be insulting but he lost me 1/3rd of the way into the message.

---

 

I guess he never heard that brevity is the soul of wit. I understand offbeat humor and I've seen it before in reviews written by customers on some ecommerce sites. Granted, I only read a few of his logs after seeing this one, but it looks more like attention-whoring to me at the expense of others. This isn't a place to go off on some tangent trying to be like Woody Allen or something. If he want to do that, he can come here.

---

 

...and then have the thread locked.

 

Cheers!

TL

[+fractal]

Do you like it pink in the middle?

 

Read the 'found it' log, then the note...

 

And amazingly enough, a lot of his storys don't stretch too far from the truth... Scary!

 

-fractal

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

N 45* 30.ish

W 122* 58.ish

[CacheMonkeez]

He should be a professional writer or blogger somewhere.

[Vacman]

I must admit that I love reading his logs. To SamLowerey - thppptthh! (As dribble runs down my chin, I remember to be short and grab a napkin)

 

--------------------------------------------------

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

[Captain Chaoss]

Oh man my sides hurt !!!!!!

 

Oregone should run for mayor or something. Such a look on life, so much joy brought to the few of us fortunate enuff to read his logs.

 

Two roads diverged in the woods and I,

I took the one less traveled,

and that is how I found the cache.

[+Huntnlady]

I agree that Oregone needs to be writing for MAD magazine. For my web site I went back over his last 200 finds or so and copied all of his long great epochs. For some stupid reason I was copying and editing them on a disk in drive A. Satisfied with that chore done, I popped the disk out of the computer. When I went to put it up on my web site next day, the disk was corrupted and I couldn't recover any of the information. See what Oregone's stories did? Thank God I didn't put it on my hard drive.

 

_______________________________

Vegetarian is Indian word for bad hunter

 

http://www.geocities.com/cacheinon

[+Johnnie Stalkers]

My throat is scratchy, Head aching and side in a stitch. I also have a fairly serious rug burn on my left knee that I received from falling out of my chair, laughing. Someone please stop the madness. OK, I'll read one more.

 

Understand what? My purpose? You know that. To find the Tower is my purpose. I'm sworn.

-Roland, The Gunslinger

[CacheMonkeez]

Maybe there should be a warning for asthmatics - I needed my inhaler after reading his log.

 

quote:

---

Originally posted by T-Mac GH:

I've gone back and read some of Oregone's logs. I had to stop reading them because I was laughing so hard I could not breathe.

---

[+planetrobert]

Oregone has the best logs EVER.

 

GeoNapster is the cache he posted this log on... here is the log... Oregone's Log

 

HAHA, i forgot how funny it was.

 

Now where did I set my GPS??? planetrobert.net

[+Team GPSaxophone]

I'd rather see him in his moose costume than in his 'soapy boy, rinsy boy' costume

 

Took sun from sky, left world in eternal darkness

[+Brian - Team A.I.]

Of all people, you would be the one to mock someone's costume.

 

Brian

Team A.I.

[+Bennu]

I liked soapy guy/rinsey guy... where do I find a guy like that? And any man who can entertain with posts as well as that will always have my admiration... a man who can write and make me laugh, what a combo... his wife is a lucky woman...

 

Not all who wander are lost

[+Team GPSaxophone]

I'm not sure Lauren is his 'wife' per se...have you read his posts about cheerleaders?

 

Brian, just because we were the only ones to dress up for a Halloween event....

 

Took sun from sky, left world in eternal darkness

[Jomarac5]

We have some very funny logs by a local cacher -- read the June 26 log by craggers.

 

Very funny stuff.

 

*****

[+JMBella]

Check out my log on this cache...located at the historic 'oldest gas staion in the county'.

Make sure you read the cache page first, then reads my log entry.

Edited November 30, 2003 by J&MBella

[+OzGuff]

I just want to add that, though I enjoyed many of Oregone's log entries for their wit and humour, I just about pissed myself laughing at Joefrog's monkey note!! I haven't "laughed so hard that I cried" in years, and I was wiping the tears away with a chamois!

 

OzGuff

[+Northern Trekker]

Here is a great entry in one of the Alaskan caches I established. We deal with the dark, cold and snow in the winter, but the summers can be worse with the MOSQUITOS! Read this log a clipped into this message:

We found this one without much trouble – an ingenious device that survived flooding. I actually found a fishing lure embedded in a tree near the cache at a height of over 7 feet. It was too far from the bank to have been miscast there.

 

Our Alaskan guide and host for our visit to this area demonstrated how real Alaskans cope with their famous state bird, the mosquito! As we were wrestling with the cache and trying to make a log entry, huge squadrons of mosquitoes rapidly got in formation and began their strafing run. You may have a hard time reading the entry, as we were in a pitched battle for our lives. If the log book is stained with blood, it’s ours. Don’t think we were able to retrieve any item from the cache, but was successful in donating a Pen and Card. Can’t really remember as we were getting pretty anemic.

 

As we looked to our guide for knowledge and wisdom in dealing with the hoards of blood thirsty self propelled daggers, all we could see was her dust as she headed back to the safety of her truck. It seems the Alaskan secret for coping with the nasty little vampires is to beat a hasty retreat!

 

We recommend bumping the difficulty rating up to ten stars, as flame throwers, DDT, DEET, and body armor are necessary.

 

Mosquitos aside, it is a great area and a fun find. Thanks.

- Pen&Card

Give Blood, Visit Alaska!

[+Spzzmoose]

Soapy boy ROCKS!!

[+sept1c_tank]

This one by Torry wins in my book: Part One.... Part Two.

[+Torry]

This one by Torry wins in my book: Part One.... Part Two.

Why, thank you.

 

... and it's all true, really.

 

Would I lie?

[+fly46]

Does this guy do logs of this length for ALL of his 871 caches??!?!<BR><BR>Brian<BR>Team A.I.

It seems that way.. I've been looking through his and none are less than a paragraph long.. Read the one from his most recent CITO event... Pee Canyon!

[+cudlecub]

Those posts are hilarious, I had one that I pretty much told how things were with GCKR6V on 10-10-4

Edited January 13, 2005 by cudlecub

[+Ambrosia]

I used to write really long logs when I started out, but then I guess I just wore myself out. I'm basically to the point of forcing myself not to do the "TNLN" type logs. It's rather sad, really, cause the logs are like a mini journal, and help you to remember the caches that you've been to. And nice logs bring so much happiness to the cache owner.

 

We all should really try harder.

[+top pin]

After reading some of Oregone's logs, I've just redefined the word of funny, OMG my sides still hurt...

 

Tonight I'm gonna sit down wtih a good glass of brandy and spend the night reading some logs......

 

If you never see a post from me again, I died in laughter.......

[+sTeamTraen]

After reading some of Oregone's logs, I've just redefined the word of funny, OMG my sides still hurt...

 

Tonight I'm gonna sit down wtih a good glass of brandy and spend the night reading some logs......

 

If you never see a post from me again, I died in laughter.......

Yeah, and apparently he has 200 or more finds still to write up...

[+top pin]

Tonight I'm gonna sit down wtih a good glass of brandy and spend the night reading some logs......

 

Yeah, and apparently he has 200 or more finds still to write up...

Dear lordee I'm gonna need a bottle.

[+drat19]

At the risk of self-promotion, here are some "they wouldn't be this funny if they weren't true" logs I wrote this summer.

 

http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_detai...&log=y&decrypt= - multiple logs, scroll down to Aug 24, 2004 for the beginning of the saga

 

http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_detai...&log=y&decrypt= - multiple logs, scroll down to Aug 24, 2004 for the beginning of the saga

 

Yep, I guess you could say Aug 24, 2004 was an eventful day for me.

 

-Dave R.

[+Coach Steve]

Holy crap! I was wondering why I came up with those pink panties when I was really fishing for Woundfin Minnows in the Virgin River! With all the flooding we've had this week, you will probably be able to catch almost anything in that river, including several caches.

Edited January 14, 2005 by coachsteve

[+Team Wampus]

Here's a short log from 4Wheelin Fool for a cache in a cemetery called "Guaranteed Creepy or Your Money Back". That's the name of the cache, not the cemetery.

 

"Found it! or I think I did. I dug into the ground about 6 feet deep and discovered a large box, but there was no log book inside, the cache looked kinda decayed."