+WARedBear Posted February 21, 2003 Posted February 21, 2003 Heard this one on Letterman the other night... What France was called before we rescued them... Germany Quote
Northern-Lights Posted February 21, 2003 Posted February 21, 2003 The military history of France: Gallic Wars – Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by, of all things, an Italian. Hundred Years War – Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars – Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Wars of Religion – France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War – France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. War of Devolution – Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The Dutch War – Tied. War of the Augsburg League / King William's War / French and Indian War – Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. War of the Spanish Succession – Lost. The war also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. American Revolution – In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome," and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." French Revolution – Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The Napoleonic Wars – Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Franco-Prussian War – Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. World War I – Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. World War II – Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel song. War in Indochina – Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. Algerian Rebellion – Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a Western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. War on Terrorism – France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?" but, rather, "How long until France collapses?" We're going on a treasure hunt...we're not quite sure just where...but with our trusty GPS, we'll find a cache stashed there!! By Daughter Cheryl Quote
3fros Posted February 21, 2003 Posted February 21, 2003 How many Frenchmen does it take to protect Paris? No one knows, it's never been tried before. Quote
Cracker. Posted February 21, 2003 Posted February 21, 2003 I think I heard this one by someone here on the forums: France has a new flag. Its a white cross on a white background. Art www.yankeetoys.org www.BudBuilt.com http://www.ttora-ne.mainpage.net/ Quote
+Metaphor Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Lest we become too arrogant, maybe we should respect the opinions of other nations as valid unto themselves. That, I believe, is one of cardinal rules of our democracy -- free speech. After all, the EU nations have not ruled out military action, but instead are looking to the UN inspectors to complete the task at hand first. Ridiculing others for their convictions doesn't say much about our own values. When disagreement and debate break down to insults and condescension, what good can be realized? "All of us are standing in the mud, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde Quote
+Faderaven Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 1,400,000 men in World War One. They only lost 100,000 in WW2 because there weren't many men left - oh yeah I read they were fighting against Panzer divisions without any tanks of their own. Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore Quote
+IV_Warrior Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 so who's fault is it that they brought a knife to a gun fight? I say next time THEY'RE in a jam we just let 'em become a territory of whatever country feels like invading them. I'm lost. I've gone to find myself. If I should happen to get back before I return, please ask me to wait. Quote
+bigredmed Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by IV_Warrior:so who's fault is it that they brought a knife to a gun fight? I say next time THEY'RE in a jam we just let 'em become a territory of whatever country feels like invading them. I'm lost. I've gone to find myself. If I should happen to get back before I return, please ask me to wait. Well, unless Spain rebuilds its military, the most likely country would be Germany and their not exactly our friend and ally right now either. Personally, I would like us to move our military bases in Europe further east and North/South. East to be better able to respond to the Balkans and the endless arab/israeli issues, and frankly, when you think of the cool places in Europe, you think Italy (south) and scandanavia (north). Leave France and Germany to deal with their own problems without our foreign trade and cash coming in from American troops stationed at forward bases in Germany. By appointment to the Court of HRM Queen Mikki I. Quote
+Harrald Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by IV_Warrior:<> I say next time THEY'RE in a jam we just let 'em become a territory of whatever country feels like invading them. <> Is that we as in the Geocaching community? Is that we as in the world community? I don't think you mean we as in the United States. Since the internet is worldwide you couldn't be so arrogant as to assume this forum is only for Americans. This thread is a great example of one of the main reasons America is vilified throughout the world. We are a very arrogant country. ==================================== As always, the above statements are just MHO. ==================================== [This message was edited by Harrald on February 22, 2003 at 08:08 AM.] Quote
+benjamin921 Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Harrald: This thread is a great example of one of the main reasons America is vilified throughout the world. We are a very arrogant country. Just tell that to all the dead soldiers and their families that fought for them. Oh and where are they now when we need their help? Oh and how about the US stops importing and exporting and giving money to all these countries that are not backing us. This is not directed at you rather it is just directed at the statement. Quote
+Harrald Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by benjamin921:<> Just tell that to all the dead soldiers and their families that fought for them. Oh and where are they now when we need their help? Oh and how about the US stops importing and exporting and giving money to all these countries that are not backing us. <> And what does this have to do with us being arrogant? This seems to be a very emotional response to a comment about the internet being a global tool. ==================================== As always, the above statements are just MHO. ==================================== Quote
Beekeeper Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 I understand they had to stop the fireworks display at Euro Disney. The French army kept trying to surrender. Todd Quote
+Metaphor Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 By looking at recent polling data, a substantial segment of the American citizenry is not wholly convinced that imminent attack is necessary. There are many citizens in the collective American "we" that are more in line with the EU's stance than the current administration's. Just because the US is bigger, doesn't necessarily give us the unilateral right to dictate world policy. We need to above all, respect their decisions as their own, and work through this less by emotion, and more by thoughtful deliberation of all points of view. As for isolationism, ultimately we suffer if we shut down overseas markets and wall off civilized discourse with others. "All of us are standing in the mud, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde Quote
Cracker. Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Metaphor:By looking at recent polling data, a substantial segment of the American citizenry is not wholly convinced that imminent attack is necessary. There are many citizens in the collective American "we" that are more in line with the EU's stance than the current administration's. Just because the US is bigger, doesn't necessarily give us the unilateral right to dictate world policy. We need to above all, respect their decisions as their own, and work through this less by emotion, and more by thoughtful deliberation of all points of view. As for isolationism, ultimately we suffer if we shut down overseas markets and wall off civilized discourse with others. "All of us are standing in the mud, but some of us are looking at the stars." Oscar Wilde I basically agree with this. Isolationism would be NICE! , but it just wouldnt work. It didnt work between WWI & WWII, and definately wouldnt work now with the more interconnected world-order of today. But I DO have to say, Iraq has had 12 years, 12 YEARS to comply with UN resolutions, and they have snubbed there nose at the world. HOW MUCH MORE TIME DO WE NEED TO GIVE THEM? Enough so they can complete their nuclear weapons program? He already has two out of three items needed. Do we need to give them enough time to help reorganize Al Qaeda? Do we need to give them enough time before he starts throwing scuds at Israel again? The WORLD needs to do something about him NOW. He could be another Hitler. Dont you think during WWII that Europe wished they had done something BEFORE Hitler invaded them? I think the US/Nato needs to go in, take out Saddams regime, then get the heck out, and let its Arab neighbors determine what the replacement government will be, and keep an eye on it. What bothers me more than France and Germany's opposition, is the silence of all the Arab countries this time. If we go in, and the Arabs turn against us, we are in BIG doot, whether France or germany are with or against us. Art www.yankeetoys.org www.BudBuilt.com http://www.ttora-ne.mainpage.net/ Quote
dsandbro Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Harrald:This thread is a great example of one of the main reasons America is vilified throughout the world. We are a very arrogant country. I keep hearing that argument that war will only make them hate us. They hate us now and will continue to hate us whether we invade or not. I would much rather they hate us without nuclear weapons in their arsenal than hate us with such weapons. ======================================== Friends don't let Friends geocache drunk. Quote
+benjamin921 Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Harrald: And what does this have to do with us being arrogant? This seems to be a very emotional response to a comment about the internet being a global tool. ==================================== As always, the above statements are just MHO. ==================================== I believe that we as a country have the right to be arrogant. The US has helped the French in the past when they needed us and the price for that was pretty darn heavy. The US was attacked by terrorist and are trying to stop this. Saddam is no better that Bin Laden is. I don't know about you but I live about 7 miles from where flight 93 crashed and I take this very personally because I work at the 911 center in this county and we were very busy because of this. Instead of spending time with our families (who were very worried because no one knew what if anything else was going to happen) we had to work mucho OT instead of spending time with them. Quote
+IV_Warrior Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 quote:Originally posted by Harrald: quote:Originally posted by IV_Warrior:<> I say next time THEY'RE in a jam we just let 'em become a territory of whatever country feels like invading them. <> Is that _we_ as in the Geocaching community? Is that _we_ as in the world community? I don't think you mean _we_ as in the United States. Since the internet is _worldwide_ you couldn't be so arrogant as to assume this forum is only for Americans. Well, seeing as how this thread basically had the American feelings toward France slant to it, the fact it seems the US has been the primary force in those types of situatioins of late, and I'm an American, I was referring to WE as in USA. Now that you mention it, WE as in the world community would also fit the bill just fine. I'm lost. I've gone to find myself. If I should happen to get back before I return, please ask me to wait. Quote
+wimseyguy Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 And this thread has exactly what to do with bumper stickers? These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes; Nothing remains quite the same. Through all of the islands and all of the highlands, If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane Quote
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