A Reluctant and Worrisome Wife...

January 10, 2003

I just started this whole caching thing, and I really enjoy the thrill of the hunt. My problem is that my wife gets paranoid everytime I take the kids on a geocache hunt. She reluctantly lets me go after she lectures me on all the possible dangers of caching. She doesn't want me to even touch the cache because she is afraid that it is a bomb or has some strange disease or chemical. I've tried to reassure her that I'll be careful, but she still seems overly worried.

I understand that it's important to let her know our exact coordinates and to bring all the necessary stuff (water, phone, map, compass, first aid kit, etc), but I just don't know why she is so concerned about the cache itself.

Has anyone else encountered this? Any advice for easing my wife's mind?

--CoronaKid

January 10, 2003

My wife has given up on me. She let's me do what I want in the outdoors. I still don't know if it's confidence in my skills or she just wants the insurance money.

========================================

Friends don't let Friends geocache drunk.

3k · January 10, 2003

Bring your wife with you on a couple so that she can realize that all the junk in the caches won't hurt you.

______________________________________________________________________________________

So far so good, somewhat new owner of a second/new Garmin GPS V 20 plus finds so far with little to no problem. We'll see what happens when there are leaves on the trees again.

January 10, 2003

My wife is 1/2 of our caching team and goes with me or I go with her almost every trip. We are careful when we cache to look for strange things that could be possible danger but we don't let the possiblity of harm stop our fun. This is true in most other activities in life, don't you think?

________________________________________________________________________

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.

4.8k · January 10, 2003

Well, I've never heard of a bomb, disease, etc being planted in a cache! If you don't try to take the kids to find difficult caches that are placed in difficult terrain, everything should be fun and safe. I think your wife is totally over-reacting. Have you taken her along on some hunts? Maybe that would help. I think it would be more dangerous to let your kids go climbing all over playground equipment at the local park(they could fall off, get abducted etc.) than to take them to find basic everyday caches! You could point that out to her. Also, the outdoor experiences are good for the kids!

5.9k · January 10, 2003

I've never heard of a cache being booby-trapped. There's a whole thread devoted to this topic somewhere. Would she rather they sat on their butts and played Carmegeddon? My ex was like that. My son was so frightened by his mother's stupidity that he refused to walk three feet into the wooded area behind the apartment to retrieve a ball.

She's doing them harm by imputing her fears on the kids. They will get hurt growing up, that's life. Geocaching is really one of the safest outdoor activities going. Do they ride bikes? That's the worst, worse even than guns statistically. Most caches are hidden in nature, what’s wrong with nature?

January 10, 2003

At the minimum, have her sit with you and review all the cache pages as you decide which ones to go after. Once she reads the online logs of all the happy people, neat things left for kids, and sees that many of the caches are in parks, etc. she might change her mind. Maybe she has visions of ramboesque mercenary types (no offense to you ramboesque mercenary types!) suspending booby-trapped caches from precarious cliffs or something!

And MAYBE.... you could convince her to come on a hunt with you! Pack a picnic, make it more about being together in the great outdoors than caching. But careful.... more than ONE man on the forums here has lost his GPSr to his caching-crazy wife after this attempt!

Good luck!

24.7k · January 10, 2003

Get her out with you on some urban one's. Promise to bring a stick for the rural ones (to probe for rattlenakes) Then you can promise to bring some poison oak salve...

You really can't do much about your wife worrying other than to bring her along one a hunt or two.

Wherever you go there you are.

January 10, 2003

My wife actually loves hiking and I'm hoping that once we all go on a few cache hunts together she'll lighten up a little bit. I was just concerned because I took the kids out for our first hunt and the wife went all nutty on me.

I might have a hard time convincing her to trade, but we'll work her up to that slowly.

I'll be sure and let you know how it goes.

--CoronaKid

4.8k · January 10, 2003

So it's not that she dislikes the outdoors, she is worried about the cache itself?

I guess you can let her know that no one has ever found a bomb, etc in a cache. I doubt you would contract a disease or illness, too much time passes between leaving things for germs to stay alive. But I suppose you could always rub some anti-bacteria gel on the trade item. Frankly, a person is more likely to get sick from handling money..... lots of germs there!!!! Also, the kids are more likely to get sick and injured from playing with and touching other kids (more germs!)

January 10, 2003

quote:
Originally posted by Dave54:
My wife has given up on me. She let's me do what I want in the outdoors. I still don't know if it's confidence in my skills or she just wants the insurance money.

Sound's like our wife's think alike!

9.2k · January 10, 2003

Total number of geocaches: fast approaching 50,000.

Number of reported cases where a geocacher has been injured by a booby trapped cache container or intentionally harmful contents: zero.

Now, assume a huge stadium parking lot filled with 50,000 vehicles. Wouldn't it be a safe bet to say that ONE of those vehicles will be involved in a serious collision this year?

I hope she enjoys walking everywhere.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

If there's no accounting for stupidity, then why do I need to file a tax return?

January 10, 2003

true, true.... about the money. Germs, etc.

But realistically, no "terrorist" is going to waste their time and powder on a boom-boom that will only take out one to a few people. In fact, you and the kids are probably "safer" at a remote cache than she is at home. Tell her that and if she buys it, she'll be hooked and you all will get to do plenty of caches together!

I'm not sure if it's personal safety (from an assailant) or a booby-trapped cache she's worried about. But booby-trapped caches aren't signed and logged on the cache page by frequent cachers. Personal safety is thought of differently by everybody and everybody has their own way of protecting themselves, whether it be actual weaponry or just "not going" where there is an increased probability of harm.

Cover these issues with her, and hopefully she'll get on board that driving there is a much greater risk to you/the children than actually getting out and finding the cache. It's important that the better half be "cool" with ya going out caching so you don't have to hear the griping on the home front. Good luck.

If you hide it, they will come.

Grandmaster Cache

January 10, 2003

A couple of suggestions, first stop letting your wife watch so much television, especially the local news. Based on their story lead-ins we'd should already be dead of something.

As someone above suggested, filter through the local caches and look for ones in parks you both know, are low on the difficulty scale, and even look for the comments of your local regulars. If there's any question you can go out and find the cache and then if it's OK, don't tell the kids and come back letting them find it. If you take the time to e-mail one of the local regulars if you have a questionable one, they will probably be more helpful then you expect.

Good luck.

1.4k · January 10, 2003

quote:
Originally posted by CoronaKid:
She reluctantly lets me go after she lectures me on all the possible dangers of caching. She doesn't want me to even touch the cache because she is afraid that it is a bomb or has some strange disease or chemical.

--CoronaKid

Almost sounds like Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I know someone with OCD, and it's a terrible disease. As long as it's just caches she's worried about, consider yourself lucky, some people actually worry like that about everything.

1.6k · January 10, 2003

If its not OCD or some other serious problem, try getting the kids on your side. Your wife might be more inclined to go on a cache hunt with you and the kids if the kids asked her to go. I wouldn't go beyond this with the kids, but if she sees how much fun you and the kids are having, she will likely lighten up. She might even fight you for the GPS unit on the next hunt.

This is a great family activity. I would steer away from dangerous terrain with kids as was mentioned earlier, but otherwise, its alot of fun for the little ones.

By appointment to the Court of HRM Queen Mikki I.

January 10, 2003

duh, double post.... ignore

January 10, 2003

quote:
Originally posted by carleenp:
......I suppose you could always rub some anti-bacteria gel on the trade item. Frankly, a person is more likely to get sick from handling money..... lots of germs there!!!!

This is very true, so many germs everywhere.... *ick* We always carry a big bottle of anti-bacterial gel when we're caching. As soon as we finish handling the cache, we clean our hands and our trade items (if we traded and if the items are gel-proof ). So far, so good....

______________________________________________________________________

Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. - Roy M. Goodman

January 10, 2003

I would still be stuck in the woods without my wife. My job is to drive the truck, carry worn out childeren and search for the cache when we get in range. My wife is the one who operates the GPS and keeps our little band from getting lost. See my post at:

http://opentopic.Groundspeak.com/0/OpenTopic?a=tpc&s=1750973553&f=3000900883&m=9880990345

for the last time I was allowed to navigate!

January 10, 2003

...But I take my kids anyway. Out there in the woods we've come into conact with dangerous plants (poison ivy, thorns), dangerous animals (yellow jackets, skeeters), dangerous situations (back roads, cold weather boating), and well, you get the picture.

The kids love it. My wife even enjoys it, too. Caching gives us a reason to go somewhere, it makes the trip interesting all the while teaching the kids (and the wife) about navigation, planning, the outdoors, and ethics (e.g. trade-up!), and safety. Because we try to be good parents we keep it safe as possible by carrying first aid kits in our packs, first aid training in our heads, wear our seatbelts, our PFDs, identify and avoid dangerous plants and animals, and generally being watchful for dangerous situations.

I can't think of a better way for you to spend an afternoon with your kids. My wife won't *let* me go caching *without* my kids in tow. She recognizes how good it is for them and me.

5.7k · January 10, 2003

quote:
Originally posted by MountainMudbug:

quote:
Originally posted by carleenp:
......I suppose you could always rub some anti-bacteria gel on the trade item. Frankly, a person is more likely to get sick from handling money..... lots of germs there!!!!

This is very true, so many germs everywhere.... *ick* We always carry a big bottle of anti-bacterial gel when we're caching. As soon as we finish handling the cache, we clean our hands and our trade items (if we traded and if the items are gel-proof ). So far, so good....

I have a different take on germs. I don't worry about them. So far, so good....

--Marky

"All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer with a backlit GPSr"

January 10, 2003

My wife likes to picnic. I don't care for picnics, but I like gadgets. Geocaching is the perfect blend of the two. I get my fix and she gets hers.

I must say, we've had some wonderful picnics in some beautiful locations.

geospotter

January 10, 2003

Odds of something happening are higher by staying home. We have 3 boys ages 9-15. Our friends all joke around that we have our own coffee cups at the emergency room. broken collar bones from bike riding, broken wrists from roller blading, stitches above eye from playing hockey with rocks, stitches across forehead from jumping from top of couch then landing on your butt on the cushions and seeing how far it will propel you across the room. Not to mention football injuries....blah blah blah. Welcome to the world of boys!

Number of accidents we've had so far in the woods?......zero!

Chances are, if your wife loves to hike, she'll be hooked on the first one. Geocaching is like Heroine.......try it once and you're a junky.

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

5k · January 10, 2003

I'm surprised no one has markwelled this thread, one of the all-time best "spouse" threads.

Jamie

9.4k · January 10, 2003

quote:
Originally posted by CoronaKid:
My problem is that my wife gets paranoid everytime I take the kids on a geocache hunt. She reluctantly lets me go after she lectures me on all the possible dangers of caching. She doesn't want me to even touch the cache because she is afraid that it is a bomb or has some strange disease or chemical. I've tried to reassure her that I'll be careful, but she still seems overly worried.

Someone might have left an AOL CD in one! If you put it in your computer the virus will be unleashed. Beware of these otherwise innocuous-looking coasters/mini-frisbees.

January 10, 2003

It is a shame to see that CoronaKid's wife has fallen vicitm to terrorism.

I'm one sat short of triangulation.

2.6k · January 10, 2003

The most dangerous part of geocaching is driving to the trail head.

Far more likely to get hurt or die doing that than anything else.

george

Pedal until your legs cramp up and then pedal some more.

2.7k · January 10, 2003

Well you have a foot, if you do then its time

to put it down and draw some lines in the sand.

Take the kids anyway, be nice but use a cold shoulder. Stick to your principles.

Take her on several nice Caches, then eat Humble Pie at the local Mall.

If you really want to freak her out take her on this Cache.http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?ID=43977

Tahosa - Dweller of the Mountain Tops.

January 10, 2003

Your wife is paranoid because WE'RE UNDER TERRORISM ALERTS. Arrrrrrrrgggggggggg! Run for cover!

She's letting it affect her life, so in essence, the terrorists win.

Tell her that the Geocaching community is far too small to be a terrorist target. Remember, they want exposure to the widest possible audience, so they want to make a BIG splash.

Wow, that's sounding more and more like the "We made a clone, but you can't see her! nanny, nanny, booboo!" freakos.

January 10, 2003

Another idea is to borrow a couple of books from the library for her. They are both by Gavin de Becker. "The Gift of Fear" and "Protecting the Gift." de Becker is the head of a corporation that protects high-profile people. He has studied crimes against people for many years, including crimes against children. He has a compelling and interesting style. I think your wife will be glad she read the books.

One thing she will learn from the books is how low the actual risk your children are in from other people when you're out Geocaching, which might be useful.

I don't worry about my kids being harmed by another Geocacher. I worry about them driving another Geocacher bananas, particularly at the picnics, but that's a different matter entirely.

I also agree with those who have suggested you take her with you. I'm a mom, and my perspective has changed since I've been taking my kids caching. On some things they have a shorter leash, and on others they have a longer leash, but it's all based on experience, not conjecture.

Shannah

5.2k · January 10, 2003

I hear that some life insurance companies are considering geocaching an "extreme sport" and charging higher premiums to geocachers

Just kidding of course. But I'd hate to see it go that way due to irrational fears and ignorance of the sport.

Lil Devil

January 10, 2003

What....?

We must be exposed to germs to be healthy, else we would have no immune system. The the first strong bacteria/virus to come along would take us off the geocaching list for ever.

I have met the nicest people geocaching than anywhere else. ... even church

** The worst suggestion of a life time may be the catalyst to the best idea of the century, don't fail to listen to suggestions.

January 10, 2003

BABYSITTERS

Cachin's a bit sweeter when you've got an Isha!

38.2k · January 10, 2003

His wife is falling victim to the same paranoia that many land managers are. The requirement of clear containers foisted upon us by many agencies is proof of this.

In reality (OK I've said this in other threads) there are over 40,000 caches out there. Figure, conservatively, 10 finds per cache. That's nearly a half million finds without a known instance of a booby trapped geocache. You're more likely to die in a traffic accident on the way to the cache.

I read in today's local paper that a 10 year old boy died while skiing with his father at Mountain Creek (here in NJ). According to witnesses, he was skiing very slowly on a green trail (and green trails here are very flat) and wearing a helmet. He simply fell. Didn't hit a tree. Wasn't creamed by another skier, he wasn't out of control. He just fell and died.

When it's yer time, its yer time. I'll take my chances with Geocaches.

"Paternalism is the greatist despotism" - Emmanual Kant

January 10, 2003

Just wondering.... who does your wife hire to open her mail for her?

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.

January 10, 2003

LOL, my wife has finally came to the conclusion she is never getting that insurance money. I am too stubborn to die or listen.

I did get talked to for going out in the middle of no where, after dark, to go caching with someone I had never met before. LOL. Yeah well if you don't talk to strangers then how do you make friends. Too many people live their lives all worked up and scared. Me I know that I will not go until my time to go, and when it is time there is not a thing I can do to stop it no matter what I am doing. So by golly I will have my happy ars right out there in the woods looking for that next cache. I have been in some really uncomfortable places and through some uncomfortable times, but I love the woods and I enjoy geocaching. Actually I am more scared to go to the grocery store than the middle of no where after dark with a stranger. LOL I am a big boy now and I don't have but one boss.

What.... yes dear. LOL.

Really, I have talked to a bunch of cachers in my short time on these boards and all seem to be really nice people and the rules behind the cache sites are very clearly stated that they are to be child proof. I don't believe that anyone here would ever do anything to get another cacher hurt. There are sick people out there in the World, but all of them eat (grocery store) not all of the cache. LOL

Stay happy and give the wifey a chill pill.

The Important Things Are Always Simple and The Simple Things Are Always Hard.

January 10, 2003

Sounds like she needs it, and fast.

Been there with my ex...

1.1k · January 10, 2003

You know what Coronakid, your wife LOVES you!!! That is why she worries. You are one lucky man. Everyone should be as fortunate as you and many just don't realize it until it's too late.

http://ca.geocities.com/rsab2100/pond.html

January 11, 2003

<>

Okay. Here’s what you need to do.

Late one night, after your wife is asleep, you need to very carefully pick the lock on her bedside table. Next, very, very quietly, slide open that cursed drawer, remove your genitalia, and return it to its rightful position. Once you’ve accomplished this task, your other problems will seem more manageable.

I've been going in circles my whole life. May as well make a hobby of it.

January 11, 2003

Maybe it's just me, but my wife always seems to be more than happy to get me out of her hair for a while. Go figure...

The empty can rattles the most...

January 11, 2003

My wife always wants me out of the house too....I wonder?

Darkmoon

No, I am not lost...I am where I am suppose to be...At least I think so?

January 12, 2003

ROTFLMAO Aristocracker!!! I know that was probably "ultra offensive" to one cause or another, but I thought that was hilarious. I had a friend who did just what you suggested after years of being a doormat... his wife stood there like an overthrown dictator... That actually probably saved their marriage.

Anyway, a good laugh is always enjoyable - and I did a double-take on that one!

If you hide it, they will come.

Grandmaster Cache

January 12, 2003

After she has gone on a cache you will have to beg to get your GPS back. Caching is basicly a womens sport, much like shopping.

A day without sunshine is like ...night.

January 12, 2003

The thought of ANYthing bad in a cache has never even crossed my mind (beyond stuff more useless than usual). Perhaps your wife could benefit from some 'therapy'.

Of course, now that we've been discussing the whole topic from top to bottom, it could become a dangerous pass time...

Um, honey, did you mark a waypoint for the car?

January 12, 2003

I agree with georgeandmary by far the most dangerous part of geocaching is driving to the trailhead,Once you get out of your cay it is much safer

I'm a man and I can change if I have to,I guess.

January 12, 2003

The reply from Criminal really hit home. I have been afraid of every milestone during our caching. Hubby going on; hunts with strangers, out of town hunts with strangers, My first impulse is always to say no, it's too dangerous. Then he always says, "You're right, I'm being silly." then I change my mind and give in. He's had LOTS of years of practice dealing with me and knows what works. I just need that initial panicking time (to get used to the idea) then I'm ok.

It took me 9 months to go on my first hunt by myself. I've learned to let the kids do and experience so much more than I ever thought I would, due to caching. It's been great medicine for me!

Take her on a hunt, she'll see everythings ok. then she'll realize how uncomfortable it is to be WAY too covered up (and hot in the summer) and things will be peachy. I hope.

I hope I haven't gotten this thread mixed up with the markwelled one. ( Good Call Jamie Z )

January 12, 2003

Except for the wearing of too many clothes, I think I still mean what I said.

3k · January 12, 2003

get her to go with you.

or get a new wife.

And Mountain Mudbug, it is the anti-bacterial products that are helping us lose the battle against bacteria. These products are making bacteria more resistant. They get in the water supply too (dish soaps etc...) Don't use them. Don't worry so much. If my hands get dirty, I can wash them in a stream, or in the snow. If you think your hands are dirty and can't get to water, just don't touch your face, nose, mouth until you can. Carry baby wipes, just not the anti-bacterial kind.

Cache you later,

Planet

"To err is human, to forgive....$5.00"

January 12, 2003

I knew this woman had to be in California or Connecticut before I ever read the location. What a load of POO POO!

9.4k · January 12, 2003

quote:
Originally posted by headmj:
I knew this woman had to be in California or Connecticut before I ever read the location. What a load of POO POO!

Weird. I've never heard of California compared to Connecticut.

Jeremy Irish

Groundspeak - The Language of Location

A Reluctant and Worrisome Wife...

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