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You Might Be A Ham If....

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Your XYL refuses to ride in your car because all the radios give her a headache.



You ever replaced a perfectly good car battery just to get a higher capacity one.



Your criterion for a new QTH includes ground elevation, and no antenna restrictions.



You ever received a TVI complaint.



Your neighbor threatened to call the FCC for you interfering with an electronic device in their house.



You ever had an antenna fall down.



You ever had the same roll of coax up at 3 different locations.



Your XYL accuses you of moving all those boxes of wire for the last 20 years, but never using any of it.



You wear a watch that displays time in a 24-hour format.


You consider an ARRL repeater directory a necessary glove box item.

You ever took a detour just to look at a new tower that has sprung up.


You use your ham call as a computer password.


You ever used your ham call as a part of an email address.


You ever bought a ham study guide for another family member in hopes of getting them interested.


You plan your vacation to take in as many hamfests as possible.


You ever tapped out HI in Morse on your car horn to another ham.


You ever took a spring vacation to Ohio, so you could drop in on Dayton.


You go to an antique flea market with the XYL, just so she would feel guilty when you wanted to go the ham flea market.


Your call sign shows up on your business cards.


You ever put a GPS tracker in the XYL's car, just so you could watch her on APRS.


You and the XYL took a cruise so you could visit the radio room.


Ham radio magazines comprise more than 50% of your bathroom library.


A ham radio activity is included in your business resume.


You factor in a few extra hours on a business trip so you can visit a ham radio retail establishment


You ever fell off a ladder while putting up an antenna.


You ever put up an antenna in a snow storm.


You ever had to patch your roof after an antenna project


Your teenager thinks all your friends are weird.


You have many other interests, but over the years keep ham radio as a core activity.





That's "mister" radio to you.

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If your local Radio Shack knows you by your callsign.


You have ever taken radios and control heads with you while car shopping to make sure everything fit before you made a purchase.


You continue to drive that old 70s or 80s land barge - It's ugly and guzzles gas, but there are plenty of good antenna locations, and a real metal bumper for the HF antenna


You have ever bought a present for the XYL on the way back from a hamfest - something to keep her distracted while you sneak that new rig into the house. Once it's in the shack, she'll never notice it.


You've spent an evening trying to explain to your wife all the neat stuff that the new hand held you want does so much better than the one you bought just last year.


You and a ham buddy buy new rigs, but make the purchase with each other's credit card. That way, when your XYL asks about the mysterious line item on the billing statement, you can just say, " Oh, that's Joe's. He just didn't have his wallet with him when we went to the ham store last time"



You start a small 'ham related' business and the equipment & parts flow is large enough the XYL can not tell what you own or not. This frees up the hobby to the point you can do what you wish and throwing a couple of hundred her way once in a while puts 'a rivet on it.'


You say 73's instead of saying goodbye on the phone...


You tell the XYL that the new radio you bought was on sale for $75




At night, when you pray, it starts off something like:


CQ CQ CQ GOD DE (your callsign)



Your watch is set only to UTC.


Your license plate on your car is your Ham Call Sign.


You watch for clearance measurement signs on bridges and overheads while driving to make sure your antenna is safe.


That's "mister" radio to you.

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if one of your child's first word was your callsign (in ITU phonetics)


Your future Wife(unknown by you at the time)shows up at the Amateur radio class your teaching.


You tell the XYL, when she notices a new rig in the shack, why that has been there for years.


1. We ARE looking for a new QTH, and yes, the RE agent is also a Ham! So, therefore, will have good elevation, good trees, and "the perfect spot." With no cc & r problems!


2. My children refuse to ride in or drive my van, because it has that "tail" on the back end. They're still waiting on that "cool suv" that I have been wanting.


3. My hubby refuses to allow me to have the radio on because it makes his headaches worse.


4. HamFest? Just another name for flea market (hubby DOES enjoy going to those!)


5. Friends? (my kids can identify them by call)


6. Fox Hunts. Get teenagers involved. You will have a wild time. And they know some spots YOU don't know about.


7. Towers? Okay, my kids spot a new one-and then tell me about it so I can check it out. Oh, and my oldest child is now tower climbing for a living-oh well..HI


8. Don't forget...the following: "mom's wierd hobby"


I must admit that without the care and support (especially when learning CW) of my family, I don't think I would have made it. (okay, the disclaimer was said!)



...If you introduce your wife as -mywife@home.xyl-.

...If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.

...If you window shop at Ham Radio Outlet.

...If your ideal evening consists of flipping through the latest QST mag looking for technical inaccuracies.

...if you spend more time on the internet ICQ than you do on the ham bands.

...If you like to run new software programs before reading the manual.

...If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home with was stupid.

...If your HT has more computing power than your PC.

...If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.

...if you are old enough to know what an 807 is.

...If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

...If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.

...If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.

...If you have more friends on the 20 meter band than in real life.

...If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio.

...If your favorite part of the 6 o'clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours.


- when the flight instructors require you to identify the VOR beacon identification transmission in flight, you are the only student pilot who isn't faking understanding the morse code.


You might be a ham if... You have more wire up and coax cable run than the electric company, the cable company, and the telephone company combined...


...When you pick up the phone and say "QRZ?" instead of hello.


...When you tell a joke in person and end it with "HI HI"!


...When your end your telephone conversation with your callsign and "73"...


...When you start evaluating any and all high structures as potential antenna supports.


... When you start carrying your HT with you everywhere, even into the bathroom...


...When you have QST's in your bathroom. You've gone too far if you have an HF radio in there...


...When your baby's first words are; "CQ"!


...If the sun started to go supernova, a true ham's first thoughts would be; "I hope that this doesn't have an adverse affect on propagation..."


...When you sign your callsign instead of your name.


...When you can remember any callsign, and most any prefix, but can't remember the names of the operators you've worked.


...When you start giving out RST reports when you are on the telephone.


...When the propagation forcast means far more to you than the local weather forcast.


...When you start evaluating any and all high structures as potential antenna supports.


That's "mister" radio to you.

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It is really difficult for me to understand how a sixteen year old could have any idea what "the kids and XYL" issues are...


Or a "learning disabled" daddy's boy with no life, for that matter.


DOD stands for Daddy's Only Dreg, right?


"Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is." - Yoda, Jedi Master from Star Wars - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

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