+Doctor A Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 (edited) I've decided to offer a cointest, centered on a cat theme, to go along with my new Cachin' Cats geocoin. I hope it generates some interest and is fun for everyone. So here's what you do... I'm inviting people to show their creativity, either in oral or written fashion. So what I want to do is have people either write/expand on the cat diary that I've copied below, or make a video like the one I'm posting. I always thought the cat diary was hilarious and wished that someone would write more to it, and I LOVE the script dubbed over the video, it cracks me up every time I watch it. So since I've seen that many people on here are quite creative, I'm hoping that people will show what you can do with either of these formats. If you do a video, I'm sure there are funny videos all over the internet that don't have a voiceover- for the video part I'm not expecting people to be able to somehow record a cat doing something funny, since I know that can be hard to capture. But obviously this guy just took a video that was already done and just wrote and recorded the voice part. So youtube would probably be a great source of a video to use. Deadline for the contest is Friday, Feb 14th, Valentine's Day. Together with three friends of mine, we'll be the final judges of who makes us laugh the hardest, and the winner will get one of my new coins mailed to them. Video: (WARNING: there is some profanity in this video, so please don't watch if that will offend you, it's not much, but there is a four letter word): CAT DIARY: Day 983 of my captivity My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ... Edited February 18, 2011 by Eartha Link to comment
+cainrcc Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 This one is prety funny Link to comment
+mpilchfamily Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I'm sure someone will come along and post the Keyboard Cat video. Or maybe not since i'm mentioning it. But i'm sure your looking for us to create something new not repost an old video or cat story made by someone else. Too bad i don't own a cat. My wife would love one but my Dad is allergic so we are not getting one any time soon. Link to comment
+Doctor A Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 Yes, I may not have made it clear enough, but I wanted to have people create something new. Of course I suppose I'll have no real way of knowing if it is new or not, but I'm going with giving everyone the benefit of the doubt that no one would borrow something from someone else. But still, I did get a good laugh out of the link cainrcc posted, and maybe this is cainrcc's original creation? I'm not sure... But now I have to go google keyboard cat... Link to comment
+redwingrr Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Thanks for posting the kitty with the printer... I laughed so hard I cried! I could identify with that cat... This will be a very fun thread to watch. Thanks for the cointest! Link to comment
+mpilchfamily Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 (edited) Yes, I may not have made it clear enough, but I wanted to have people create something new. Of course I suppose I'll have no real way of knowing if it is new or not, but I'm going with giving everyone the benefit of the doubt that no one would borrow something from someone else. But still, I did get a good laugh out of the link cainrcc posted, and maybe this is cainrcc's original creation? I'm not sure... But now I have to go google keyboard cat... I'm sure you've seen the i can haz cheezburger site and spin off pic. http://icanhascheezburger.com/ Most of them are cat related. This google search image result gives a good idea of what is already out there. http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&sugexp=ldymls&xhr=t&q=i+can+haz+cheezburger&cp=9&qe=aSBjYW4gaGF6&qesig=xZEtWubIGn2roaXUTyxkzQ&pkc=AFgZ2tm32nhgJYfgh0ZDe_cKrcEBr7vW5A6hgfG4-EIoh1JmN2ggc60-kwZjOFbaj5oYY7o1AolSW7snDLF1YvnVEJYMg5ZxxA&client=firefox-a&hs=TnW&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=rUM_TeTNCsOC8galpezPCg&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=5&sqi=2&ved=0CFQQsAQwBA&biw=1122&bih=843 Edited January 25, 2011 by mpilchfamily Link to comment
+keewee Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 ROTFLMAO - brilliant!!! I might have to get creative and write something later on. Link to comment
+WRITE SHOP ROBERT Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Friday, Feb 14th, Valentine's Day is actually on a Monday Link to comment
Dendro71 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 Nothing tops the "engineers guide to cats," so I'm not even going to try... Link to comment
+Doctor A Posted January 26, 2011 Author Share Posted January 26, 2011 Friday, Feb 14th, Valentine's Day is actually on a Monday Good point! I was looking at the Jan calender- OK deadline stays Valentine's Day, but it's on a Monday! Link to comment
tommytrojan360 Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 Can you post multiple pictures or videos? I've got a whole bunch of funny cat stuff Link to comment
+Doctor A Posted January 27, 2011 Author Share Posted January 27, 2011 Can you post multiple pictures or videos? I've got a whole bunch of funny cat stuff Yep, anyone can enter more than one entry, but remember it has to be something that you create. I want to see how creative we can be here, using our forum members! Link to comment
+Terrier Team Posted January 27, 2011 Share Posted January 27, 2011 scratch the safe for now entry, he's a gonner. I easily picked him off one day while my captor were cleaning out his cell. I got severley repremanded and it wasn't pretty. They gave me a bath and I fought back with all my might, they lost plenty of blood in the process. I am hoping that they won't try that one again for they will have scars from our last battle. But alass! they bought a new informant! This one swims around underwater, they must be realy dumb thinking they can get a water living informant, guess they thought I don't like water. They must not figure out my weakness! Link to comment
+Where'sMyMarbles Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 OOohhhh great cointest!! I LOVE cats!! Thanks so much Doctor A!!! I have a bunch of funny pics, or at least I think they are funny hahaha. So let's see...we'll start out slow.....first one.... This is a litter of kittens we had.....one kitten is being attacked by his siblings....poor poor kitty hehe Link to comment
+SgtMikal Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Nice idea for a cointest. I've always been more of a dog person (allergies). But I love things that make me laugh as well. So...here's a cool pic that I found somewhere. Link to comment
+Where'sMyMarbles Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Note: There was NO wind of any kind at the time of this picture. Hahaha This is actually the sister of the kittens in my previous picture. Link to comment
+Doctor A Posted January 29, 2011 Author Share Posted January 29, 2011 I love the entries so far! I do wonder what Where'sMyMarbles did to this poor last kitten to get her hair to stand up like that. Was she rubbed with a balloon right before the picture was snapped or does she just have a (static) electric personality? Link to comment
+The Blorenges Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Every year the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has a weekend for the Garden Bird Watch. This year it coincides with the arrival of two new cats in our household - We got them yesterday - Leo the tabby and Lupin the black and white one. They seem to be very keen on the whole Birdwatch idea... Link to comment
+keewee Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 Every year the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has a weekend for the Garden Bird Watch. This year it coincides with the arrival of two new cats in our household - We got them yesterday - Leo the tabby and Lupin the black and white one. They seem to be very keen on the whole Birdwatch idea... cute! Link to comment
+Where'sMyMarbles Posted January 29, 2011 Share Posted January 29, 2011 I love the entries so far! I do wonder what Where'sMyMarbles did to this poor last kitten to get her hair to stand up like that. Was she rubbed with a balloon right before the picture was snapped or does she just have a (static) electric personality? Haha yep! Just a static/electric personality! Her owners tell me that she can really "cling" to the curtains! Hahaha Link to comment
+Where'sMyMarbles Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 I KNOW there's gotta be more people with funny cat pics........ Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hello to all!!! well... I do not have a cat anymore.. so no videos made by me.... but I really loved this video.... the kittens loved it and later they played alone!!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 well... since I can not make a video... I will refresh the cat diary from where you ended.... Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 984 of my captivity. I woke up early this morning! i had to check the area once again and find the weak spot so I can escape... huh.... the bird was awake too! he is watching me all the time... I am sure now that he is telling everything to these humans!! I am wondering if by that way he is buying his freedom too! well... it is time for my morning poop... I always smell the sand they put in that box... I have to be sure that this is my area! you never know what the sand hides or what will come up... oups... yes... that mine... I can still smell the fish sticks they feed me yesterday... aaahhhhh I am wondering all the time... why they are keeping us? they have a dog, a bird, me... are they making tests on us? Is there an other evil reason that my mind can not even think?? the whole thing with the mouse was unsuccessfull! maybe I have to kill something bigger... maybe a bigger mouse, a rat... to show them that I am not kidding and I am dangerous... It seems that i can not hurt them... I was sure that I hurt one of them with my nails but instead of fearing me he is smilling! Strange people.... when I hurt them they smille but when I am just doing my lethal exercises with my nails on the furniture... they are becoming furious and they yelling at me!! hmm... maybe tis is their week spot... I have to check that later... the bird is watching again... huh... if I caught you.....you feather spy!!! Edited February 2, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 985 of my captivity new day in prison... once again the bird is awake! maybe they are giving him coffee seads to stay awake and watch my moves!!! the dog is barking.... who is that guy with the uniform?? it looks like a military man but he is puting some paper things in a small box outside of the house! I heard once that his is called mailman... he must be a great title like a general... that is why he is wearing a uniform! many times they were waiting him and when they were taking these papers and envelopes they were so happy... sometimes shiny coins were coming out of them... hey... are they ransom money to free me or someone is paying them to keep me there?? they call these papers letters... but I haven't seen any letter on them.. they only have some strange symbols like warms made of ink... crazy humans.... sometimes they get letters that makes them sad or worried! they call them bills... maybe this Bill is their enemy or he is tying to free me too.... Hmm... today is a cleanning day! the human female changed the sand and cleaned the area that I eat! they changed the newspaper they were puting under my bowl! well... she is nice.. probably better than the others.. she even letting me read yesterdays news! Let's see what is going on in the cat world..... ......emm.........hmmm....... nope nothing.... all are stupid human news... what is says here??? economy crisis... huh... if you can kill a mouse per day and eat.. money are useless... .....eemm... Egypt problems..... Ahh egypt... I had some cousing there... they had a great time... their great grand fathers lived like kings there!! No!!! better!!! like Gods!!! These were times for us!!! Well... I will drink some milk and read the rest later.... oh... who is this guy in the photo??? he is staring me like he wants to drink my milk!!! hmm... he has an eagle symbol behind him and the american flag... Eagle?? Oh.. he must me a friend of the bird!!! that is why he is watching me too!!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 986 of my captivity Oh... what a cold day!!! outside everything is white from snow!!! Well.. sometimes I am glad that I am inside where it is warm! hahaha!!! the dog is still out?? that's a payback!! all this time they were treating them nice but now... ???? what?? they will put him inside too?? oh.... that's not right!!! well.. at least he is calm... other dogs used to chasing me when I was free... maybe they are keeping him druged... who knows... today an old lady came in the house! she is probably a relative... the woman calls her mom! Mom?? WOW!!....where is my mom?? what heppent to her??? AAA...it is so warm and nice close to the fire place... Oups!!! the old woman lift me up and put me in her feet!!! Haaaa!!!! time to fight.... but... she is fondling me with her hand.... and it is warmer here... well... I will fight her later... it is nice up here... hahaha.... the bird is ungry!!! hahahha!!! take that you trador!! oh no!!! Earthquacke!!! the chair is moving... up and down... what is going on??? oh... I feel dizzy... I can not even leave.... I will vomit hairballs..... oh... this is a torture.... I will close my eyes and will pray that this will soon stop.... it is good that I didn't eat before... huh! Edited February 2, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+Where'sMyMarbles Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Hilarious!!!! Thanks for making my day! So glad to have you back GATOULIS!!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 987 of my captivity Today there is cold again! lots of snow outside but in the house everybody is happy! they took a tree and decorated it... they decorate strangely all the house and say that it is Christmas! I do not know what this is but sounds great! the house is smelling candies and sweets! WOW!! if this celebration makes them all so happy why don't they celebrating it more often?? the tree is beautiful and it has some strange balls on it! when I go close to them I can see an other cat coming from there... he looks like me and does the same moves!! I want to play with these balls but they keep hypnotizing me.... I can stay there watching the balls for hours!! the tree has lights that trembling too!! nice!! the dog was snizing the tree all the time! what is he looking?? oh no!!! the stupid dog went to pee on the tree and there was a small fire... the lights of the tree went off!! Stupid dog!!! the female woman and her kids went and placed their socks on the fireplace!!! oh!! they were probably wet becasue of the snow... but all look the same!!! I had the feeling that kids had smaller feet but it seems... well... since everyone put something there... I took a dead mouse I cought in the morning and placed it with the socks to dry too! Oh!! when they saw the mouse they screamed!! Did they know the mouse?? was this mouse their friend?? I do not understand why they got mad! when they saw the headless mouse the other time, they were calmed... now that the mouse is ok.... well... maybe they are afraid of the mouse head... who knows.... Edited February 2, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 988 of my captivity today I woke up because of a strange noice.... one of the humans quickly went in the small room that has lots of water... humans do their poop there and they also bath their selves! yiakes!!! I hate water!!! I heard the human making poop! oh... I can not stand the smell!!! what do these humans eat??? I herd a flash of water and the guy came out... hey!!!! where are you going??? you only throw water??? covered your poop with sand!!! I live here too you know!!!! did they start a biochemical war against me??? huh!!! dirty huge creatures... they do not even cover their poop with sand or earth... they do not even check if they still smell! In the evening all the family started staring a strange box that noices are coming out! I went close and saw that there were small people inside talking and laughing... music was coming out... so.. they have tiny humans in this box and they are checking them too!!! hmm... when they will go to sleep I will try to communicate with them.... Night... all are sleeping except me! I went close to that strange box that it doesn't shine anymore! Hey... little people where are you? I have to talk to you!!! I can help you get free!!! Where are you??? while I was trying to find a way to see inside the box I pessed something!! A loud noice came out!!! I was freaked!!! AAA!!! I was cought!! A human woke up and came! he was holding a piece of wood that they use to play with a ball! Oh... he will beat me... oh!!! No, he checked the house and then pressed a button in the box and the light and noice stopped! He laughed and said that there is nothing to see there and there are only pictures in it!! Oh!!! so there are no real people in it!!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 989 of my captivity I am watching more and more this box to find info about humans! children were watching a film with an orange fat cat who loves food... well... I do not know the guy but he is probably a star in cats... oh.. I am out of circulation for a long time.... an old wise cat once told me that the first 1000 dasy are difficult... then you will get used to anything... well... I am close to that but I definatelly do not want to stay for 1000 days here!!! Then they watched something about animals! It was about a large island.. oh!!! in this island everything is huge!!! snakes are huge... even mice are huge!!! they are calling them Kangaroos! They are probably alliens!!! I saw a small one coming out of the belly of a bigger one... just like a horror movie I had seen with an allien!!! Oh... that is why they were not afraid of me when I killed the mouse! They have seen mouse monsters!!! Huh! I have to stop watching too much of this box.... It is not helping me at all... it actually stresses me more... Link to comment
+Doctor A Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) I LOVE the diaries! I can't enter the contest, but thought I'd post a diary entry anyway, just for fun... Day 990 of my captivity... Today I spent my required 16 hours sleeping. During the 8 waking hours, I wandered around the house, sharpened my claws on a few pieces of furniture that they provide for that purpose, and then read Cat Fancy magazine. It has such engaging articles in it, but then also sometimes I think its published by dogs because it talks about things like taking the cat to the vet or having various awful surgeries performed on them. I always feel exhausted after reading it and so I stretch out on the dining room table for a snooze… Plus, I know how much that irritates the woman of the house! She lets me go just about anywhere except for the dining room table and the kitchen counters. I dont understand it, especially since she hardly cooks, so she really doesnt use those kitchen counters so its not like Im in the way or anything. But Ive got her trained well- little does she know that when shes gone during the day, I stretch out up there and sleep for hours, then check myself for cleanliness while Im up there. When shes around, I wait til shes sitting over in the living room, comfortably watching TV, and then just to show how well I have her conditioned, I jump up on the counters, causing her to have to get up and come over and try to chase me down. What fun we have! She pretends not to enjoy it, but I think she really does enjoy it, or I wouldnt keep doing it, would I? Edited February 2, 2011 by Doctor A Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 991 of my captivity While I was cleaning myself today I realized that I am losing hair... more than the normal! my tonge was full this time! Oh boy... too much stress will turn me into a bold cat without any hair... bold like my Canadian cousin! and the worse is that I am getting fatter and fatter with all the food they are feeding me here... soon I will look like the male human... bold, fat and ungly.... then... which cat girl will want to have kittens with me??? It was midday when I went near to a window to see outside! WOW!!! there is a beautiful female cat in the next house!! hmm.... I have to start a diet.... The young girl of the family brought something at home and put it on my neck! it is a colar with something under it... something that I can not see.... is it a tracking device?? is it something so they can watch my moves?? from that time whenever I move I hear a strange noice like a bell!!! Oh... am I getting crazy? Am I hearing bells ringing now??? what is this thing under my neck that stresses me up?? here it is again.... gling gling gling... huh.... my nerves!!! Edited February 2, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 992 of my captivity I was so freaked today!!! All my hair went up when I heard the humans saying that they were hungry and ordered Hot dogs!!!! No!!!! they are dog eaters!!!! ok.. not so bad for me... but.. if they eat cats too??? I am so stressed!!! so that is why they are treating the dog so nice!!! They are getting him fat so they can eat him!!! ... and I thought that they were only eating cows, chickens and pigs!!! I am doomed!! Is there a possibility that they are feeding me for that??? No... please eat mice!!! they are nice!!! Nothing is better than a rat berger!!! Believe me!!! I used to hear other cats talking about females.... and saying that they are hot cats.... did they mean something like that?? after some time a bike came and delivered the poor hot dog! huh??? what kind of dog is that??? I can only see a sandwich with a sausage in it... do they turn the dogs into sausages or they are eating only a part of a dog?? and what part looks like a sausage??? ....no....!!!! it smells nice!!! hey... thye gave me some too!!! Well.. I am starving and this smells nice!!! I am wondering if I will be a hero after that day.... I will be the great dog eater cat!!! Oh oh auch... what is this yellow cream that is hot??? Oh... it went in my nose..... AAAaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaachuUUUUU!!! Meow! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 993 of my captivity Oh... my fleas are making me crazy! aaaaaaxxxxx I am scratching myself all the time... maybe I can send these fleas to the humans and fight back! Nope... wrong move and I have to pay now! they saw that I have fleas and said that I sting and I have to take a bath... what??? A bath??? with water??? No!!! not with water!!! I can lick myself for the whole day but no water please!!!!! you will not caught me.. you will not... oups.. they caught me.... this belly that I have grown here is slowing me.... The bathtab is full of hot water! NOOOOO!!!! please no!!! do not torture me!!! I will be a good cat!!! No no no no no no!!! don't you know anything about Geneva convention??? I am a prisoner of war... emm.. Am I ?? Noooo not in the water!!! Huh! at least do not put a lot of soap! bubbles makes me fart! And... do not clean my fleas too much! I like them dirty!!! fleas are gone now... they put on me a strange powder and the fleas died or left... Ok, that is good but on the other hand... now my fair tastes funny...huh! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 994 of my captivity I heard something today that they will take me to the VET! who is that?? maybe he is their leader.... I will finally see who is behind all this! Ha!!! I can see now that they are afraid of me, or that they believe that their leader, the VET will be in danger while he will meet me, so they put me in a cage! A cage!!! I am just like the bird now! maybe the bird is dangerous too and they have it in a cage... huh... the cage is not so comfortable... until this meeting ends I will have pains in all my body... even in my tail!! Their leader lives in a strange place... it is very clean and smells funny... I can hear other animals here too... unfortunatelly I can not see them... the cage door is looking at a wall... huh... they are still playing with my nerves... I have to be calm... I have to show that I am not afraid! Hey... I can hear a dog crying and saying.... "oh my balls... they are gone.."!! He lost his balls here?? Someone brought him here to play with balls?? Stupid dog and stupid humans.... ???? Wait... is there a possibility that the dog meant.... NO!!! this is a test area!!! they are examing us and making experiments??? I want to stay complete!!! I want to stay Male!!! they are moving me again!! I am in a room now! The cage door is open but I a mafraid to go outside! What is out there??? They took me out and I came face to face with a male human wearing white.... white?? Like the butcher in the neighborhood I was before my captivity??? NO!!! they will slauter me!!! They will make hot cats like these hot dogs they ate last time!!! I want to live!!! I want to stay male!!! do not kill me or cut anything!!! Please!!! I will be a good cat.. I will never kill a mouse again!!! Please!!!!! The guy is examing me... he took my temperature... he checked my ears, my eyes my mouth... he said I am ok... and then he examined my fair and my fat!! Ouff.... everything was ok... they took me back in the house! Maybe I was not fat enough to eat me!! I have to start a diet!!! I will beging the rat diet immediatelly... I will eat anything except rats... well.. I will lose weight like that.. right?? Oh boy.... this is the first time I am glad that I returned in this prison! Oh! I have to check first if I am complete.... yes! everything is here!!! what was that?? they are making thing more and more difficult....they are playing with my mind... and I am still hearing those bell sounds.... huh!!! I have to escape!!! in one week I will count 1000 days as a prisoner!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 995 of my captivity today I heard that humans believe some strange things for luck etc... I heard that they do not like the Friday 13th and the black cats! It is bad luck to have or even see a black cat! This box with icons that humans call TV (what kind of name is that??) is educating me! But.. are all humans like that? I do not know but we will see... Hmm... the bad thing is that I am white! that is why they are calling me Snowball!! huh! snowball for a male like me!!! I hope no other cat will ever know that!!! How can I change my color??? hmm... I will go and roll over in the fireplace! No, it is not lighten of course but there are ashes inside and coals... oh boy... I am so dirty!!! I am black - grey but thy will not notice that... I am black! I am black and bring bad luck!!! Fear me humans!!! Huh??? what wnet wrong?? they do not fear me but they are yelling at me!!! they say I am dirty and I need a bath!!!????!!! Oh no!!! not again!!!!! Please help me!!!!! they want to drown me!!! aaaa!!!! huh! I am wet, ugly and clean! huh! now they are using something that blows hot air to dry me.... ok.. it is nice but my fair now looks funny!!! I look so fat!!! huh! I am like a snowball!!! Ouaaaaaa!!!! Meow! Edited February 3, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 996 of my captivity Today I managed to contact with the outer world!! A fly visited the house today!!! while she was flying I asked her to come closer and talk to me. She landed on my nose and it was difficult to see her but I did my best (when she left I had a headacke but... now it paseed..) I asked her, how things are going on outside... if they are looking for me, if they have plans to free me... but she was looking at me strangely.... Are you nuts? who will look for you? free you?? from where?? stay here where you have clean sand and great food... outside things are difficult! We can not even find food to eat.. and you have it all here and you want to escape?? things are bad outside!!! I was worried with all that but I do not know... maybe she was participating in a big conspiracy with the humans, so they can break me! So none is worried about what happent to me? none will free me? I have to take the cituation in my hands and stop expecting outer help... I continued talking with the fly... 'So, now because you can not find enough food outside you are visiting human houses?' ' visiting??? Invating you mean!!! We have to eat my friend! we are not like you who finds everything ready and served!!! BZZZZZZZZZ' ' relaxed pal... do not blame me and stop Bzzzzzzing at me!!!' 'sorry... I am just so ungry with your stupid dog...' 'why? what happent?' ' I went close to him to see if he had any food for me.... he looked like a wolf so I asked him what he was... he told me that he was some kind of a wolf dog... I was curious... what he ment and he told me that his grandfather was a wolf and hid grandmother a dog.... then he asked me what was I, I replyed but he got ungry, he started yelling at me and saying that I am joking at him so he will look stupid... huh!!!' 'but what did you say to him??? what are you??' 'a horse fly!!' '!!!!!?????!!!!! eemm... yes... I....can see.... the resemblance.... !!!!!' WOW.. I had to write everything word by word to remember it... it surelly looks like a joke... horse fly?? hahahahahahha !!!! Even my moustache is laughing!!!!! I can not blame the dog for his reaction.... huh!!! Edited February 3, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+Doctor A Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 I'm starting to think that maybe Gatoulis IS a cat and not a human- he sure seems to have cat thought processes and lives down pretty well! I don't know how to do it, but I was imagining some pretty funny conversation between the kitties playign in the whack-a-kitty videos, so if anyone knows how to do editing, I'd challenge you to make a funny script from those videos! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 hahahhaha!!! Post 7028 from my captivity! Doctor_A understood that I am not a human but I am a cat! Oh... if he is going to tell that to all the others... I will be in trouble!!! Hmm... and the male human will definatelly get mad if he realise that I am using his PC and the net to communicate..... hahahahahha Link to comment
+The Blorenges Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This isn't an entry for the competition, it's just an amewsing piece that kitten/cat lovers will appreciate... "6 Reasons Kittens Suck" MrsB Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 997 of my captivity things are getting stranger here... I used to know that humans didn't like mice except from some hamsters... but from the moment they brought at home an other strange machine with screen, they are talking about a mouse! where is the mouse.... take the mouse... click the mouse.... oh... where is this walking food?? I have to find it! I am trying to come closer to observe this strange machine that they call... PiCi... huh... these humans are used to give strange and ugly names to everything.... TV... PC... they do not have any immagination.... well... what can I expect from people that they named me snowball!!! Me... the fearless male cat!!! huh!! thisi s a humiliation that only blood can wash it... but... I am too bored now to fight... hmm.... this PC is very strange.. it is like a small suitcase and they carry it where ever they go... they open it and they see magical things from there... I have to see why they are so fond of it... all the time they are clicking buttons... click click click... huh... isn't there anything else to do??? and the mouse.... where is that mouse... is the a possibility that this mouse knows how to work this machine?? Is there a possibility that they can watch me with that machine??? Kids took it for a while... they know it too... Wow!!! huh??? I can hear firing shots coming from it... kids act like crazy and say that he is dead... and this one is dead too... Ooooo!!!! it is a machine that humans learn how to kill!!! So humans are learning how to be cruel and vicious from it... and from their childhood!!! That is not right... not right at all!!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 998 of my captivity Ha!!! it took me some time but today I finally learned the name of the spy bird!!! Tuity!!! An other silly name that humans created.... But this name sounds so familiar... Tuity... Tuity... huh???? "To eat it"?? hahaha!!! Of course I want to eat it!!! what a name!!! I am wondering if the bird is proud for its name!!! Well... know that I am thinking again... humans have a sence of humor.... their dog's name is "Rudi". well.. he is rude for sure.. after all he is barking at night when everybody is sleeping... humans say that he is guarding the house but I believe that he always wanted to be a rooster... that is why he is barking only at night or in the early hours... the fly came again today... she looked so hungry!!! she came in the right time... plates with hot chicken soup were on the table... I could small the chicken.... oh boy... I hope they left some chicken for me too.. The poor fly was so weak that she couldn't even fly straight... she only turned at me and said... I have news to tell you from the female cat that lives next door! she saw you and she likes you! That's great news!!! and the best is that I am still a complete male... no surgery for me by the vet.. 'She likes me??? really?? hey, do you know her name??' 'yes, but I will tell you her name later... I am so hungry and that smell is killing me' the fly went straight to one of the plates but her landing was unsuccessful and she ended in the soup!!! oh.. what a way to die... at least she went to the fly heaven with full stomach... but now how I will know the name of my pretty neighbour?? when the humans sat to eat the male saw the fly in the soup... 'oh... there is a fly in here!!!!' the woman took the plate back to the kitchen.... I will not write more for today... I have to mourn for a lost friend who was drawn in a soup... a hero who fell in the battle of hunger... RIP horse fly.... P.S. as a horse fly... will she go to the horse heaven or the fly heaven?? Edited February 3, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 999 of my captivity today I finally saw this mouse the family was talking about what a strange animal!!! the kids were holding it and were playing again with the PC! Ha!!! their mother told them to go to the kitchen and the way is free!!! I went near the PC which was open and a light was coming out just like the TV.... the mouse was there... standing still.... what kind of mouse is that??? where is his head?? I can not see eyes... I can only see his long tail..... here you are you filthy ugly mouse.... Auch.. auch... my teeth... this is so hard to eat... and it doesn't have any taste.... yakes... Why is like that?? is the mouse wearing an armory?? a knight mouse?? hahaha! huh??? Mice started making armored tanks??? and I am still fighting with my nails??? I am so behind in technology!! ???? something moved in the light wall of the PC... here it is again!!! what is this arrow??? where is it pointing?? everytime I move this mouse it moves too... what is that?? oh... at least I killed the mouse... it is not moving.. I am sure it is dead.... kids are back... hey, that's mine... kill your own mice.... why you want this one.. it is not even tasty and it is way too hard to eat!!! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 (edited) CAT DIARY: Day 1000 of my captivity WOW!!! 1000 days imprisoned.... the wise man was somehow right.... I barely remember the time I was outside free... I woke up during night ... I heard something flying outside but close to the house.... hmm... maybe bird commandos came to free the bird... free Tuity... hahahah I am still laughing with that name... if he will set free.... it will be "free to eat it"! hahahahaha I went close to the window, full of curiosity to see what was out there.... I saw a shadow that landed on a branch of a tree very close to the house... what kind of bird is that?? I haven't seen it before... EEEE.... it is a black mouse with wings!!!! it is so ugly!!!! Oups... first mice made armored tanks and now they have airforce too??? Well.. it is good that I stopped killing and eating them... after my last try with the tasteless strange mouse.... well.. I preffer human food and the nice cans with meat they are giving me.... ???? this flying mouse is not so good in landing... it turned upside down...... why is he staying like that??? he didn't realise that he is upside down??? is he like that so an idea will come into his head quickly?? hahahaha ....or is he meditating?? nah.... he is probably too stupid to realise that this is the wrong possition to stand... 'hey wingy mouse.... I am afraid you have made a small mistake... you are upside down...' 'are you talking to me??? I am not a mouse or anything!!! I am a Bat' 'oh.. sorry I thought you were a mouse... you look like one... so what are you??' 'I said I am a Bat' 'I know... but what???' 'A BAT!!! that is what I am' 'ok...ok... if you say so... and... why you are upside down???' 'all bats are doing this... if we want to stay somewhere... sleep or relax... we are standing upside down' 'emm.... and if you do not feel well and suddentlly you faint... what you do?? you turn in the correct possition???' 'huh... stupid cat' said the bat and left... What?? what did I say and she got ungry with me??? hmm... and I didn't ask the best... if they have diarrhoea what is happenning when they are sitting like that... upside down??? hahahahaha huh... I will go to sleep again... hey... birdy... it was not your day today.... maybe next time... Edited February 3, 2011 by GATOULIS Link to comment
+Where'sMyMarbles Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Oh I LOVE the diary entries!! I can't wait until I find time when I can sit down and read them all! Here's another picture from me..... hehe Link to comment
+mamoreb Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 These entries are hilarious, GATOULIS! Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Thank you my friends! ....and I was thinking to stop so others can continue... well... i will have to think about the next days of the diary... I admit I have lots of fun while I am writing them too! how all these are coming in my mind, and I am using some old jokes inside like they are parts of the day.... I still can not believe it either... and now that I am thinking... humans were receiving letters with shiny coins..... so they are geocachers .... and.... I have left the love story with the next door cat... still open.... hmmm....... Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 CAT DIARY: Day 1001 of my captivity Aaahhh.... today is an excellent and shiny day!!! it is so warm and nice!!! The humans are wearing their best clothes and they are saying that they are about to go to the church and hear the priest.... this guy is a high rank officer of them....they are visiting him every Sunday... maybe this is their leader and not the Vet... He lives in a strange house with a tower... he probably uses this tower to watch all of us... humans and animals... well... I will have some free time then... I do not see the female cat outside... so.. I will take a nap and do some sunbath... that's a better bath.... there is no water at all.. after some time they came back.... they look quite happy and relaxed... that's nice... I am wondering what orders did this priest gave to them.... hey, what they are doing now?? they are wearing sport clothes and taking their bags... where are you going??? Can I come too?? ha! an open bag... I shall enter inside and nobody will see me... I will go with them and I will escape in the open area!!! Brilliant idea!!! Oh no... they wanted to put some things on the bag and I was cought.... what are these things?? I see a strange devise....it has maps in it... what is thins thing?? Oh.. it must be their tracking devise for sure!!! Oh... an empty tapperware?? no food inside?? then why you are taking it with you?? oooohhhh!!! they will bring food... eemm... can I have the fish sticks for today??? But... why they need the traching devise?? is food trackable?? well.. don't they use their nose?? huh????? On No!!!! they are bringing an ammo can with them!!! they are going to a war!!! an Ammo can!!! who is their enemy??? and their are taking the dog with them?? maybe they will shoot him and make hotdags.... yes... that's it... they will make hot dog and they will fill the tapperware... bye bye doggy... but do they need a whole ammo can for that?? they are probably lousy shooters.... Once again alone... well.. time to clean my self a little and read the newspaper.... eemmmmm sports... ???? wildcats won?? WOW!!! we have a team!!! we have a team!!! and we won!!!! hahaha!!! eeemmmmm... we won what?? is that a team or a cat army?? oh! are humans going as reinforcements of the enemy??? so that's why they had the ammocan!!! and they think this is just a sport.... for them everything is a sport... huh... Link to comment
Recommended Posts