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How to get wife into game


oldmower
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We recently went on a trip from Pa to Fl. I have an Oregon 450 and I made a few pocket queries to cache along route 95. I planned on trying a few that were at rest stops when we had to use the restrooms. My wife got mad and didn't see the fun in finding caches at the stops. So I was not able to even attempt any of them. My question how do you get your spouse more involved in the game,sport of geocaching.

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Filter, filter, filter. Find the slice of caching that appeals to something your wife is already interested in and look for high-quality caches of that type. Rest stop caches don't often appeal to people who aren't already hooked on the game and either need to get a quick "fix" or who are looking for a numbers bump - neither of which is going to resonate much with folks who aren't already geocachers.

 

If your wife is at all into the outdoors, your job is easy. If not, it gets trickier.

 

Virtuals can be a nice way to bring someone into the game, as most of the virtuals that currently exist are more interesting than the typical magnetic hide-a-key in a guardrail Traditional you might find at a rest stop. Looking for a Virtual that points out something interesting that not everyone knows about can be interesting. Does she like puzzles? I think a lot of spouses are gradually drawn into the game by helping with geo-puzzles at home. At some point they can be talked into coming along to log the final.

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We recently went on a trip from Pa to Fl. I have an Oregon 450 and I made a few pocket queries to cache along route 95. I planned on trying a few that were at rest stops when we had to use the restrooms. My wife got mad and didn't see the fun in finding caches at the stops. So I was not able to even attempt any of them. My question how do you get your spouse more involved in the game,sport of geocaching.

Have kids! :)

My wife loves that I geocache with the kids on occasion and that it gets me to do a bit of excercise. She will go with me so long as the hike is not more than 3 miles round trip and we don't have to come back the same way we left but she mostly likes that I do it with my kids and when I am out of town for work.

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Fortunately, I didn't have your problem. My wife enjoys geocaching as much or more than I do.

 

My advice is to try to identify some aspect of it that she enjoys. If she likes taking walks or hiking, then walking/hiking caches. If she has an interest in 'interesting' caches, then take her to the highly favorited ones. If she likes history, take her to the historical caches such as some virtuals and cemetery hides. If she's social, then arrange group outings with other cachers. If she likes cedar/mulberry bush hides, then...send her to a psychiatrist. :D

 

Seriously though, try to match the finds with something that is of interest to her. However...it just may not be her "thing", in which case you'll need to adapt (or find a new wife) by doing your caching during times when she is busy with other activities. Sometimes its good to have an hobby separate from your spouse's interests.

 

Good luck!

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I asked my hubby to take a walk in the woods a few weeks ago, to get out and spend some time together w/o the kids. I mentioned that 'maybe' I'd grab a cache while we were out. After a quarter-mile of bushwacking, he said "This is really finding a geocache, that just happens to involve a walk isn't it". I said "yes, but it is so nice to be out here with you!"

 

Sometimes it is all in the wording!

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My wife doesn't share my obsession with geocaching, but she does enjoy a nice hike. She's willing to humor me by going along on a geocaching outing, if it will take her someplace with a nice view.

 

I also like to play with my stats, so if I'm passing through a state I've never been through, or a county within North Carolina, I'll want to stop for a cache. The wife doesn't see the point in that, but she'll sit in the car and read a book while I grab a quick cache so I can color in another state/county.

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I also like to play with my stats, so if I'm passing through a state I've never been through, or a county within North Carolina, I'll want to stop for a cache. The wife doesn't see the point in that, but she'll sit in the car and read a book while I grab a quick cache so I can color in another state/county.

Yeah, if I plan it well enough to minimize the inconvenience for the rest of the family, I can get a bit of a "coloring in a new state" dispensation. It extends more to "Can we stop at this particular rest stop in Delaware?" than it does to "Let's take the long way to Cleveland so that I make sure we cut through West Virginia..."

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I'm not in a committed relationship but geocaching has come up with potential partners and me.

 

Basically my view on my hobbies is pretty simple. They are my hobbies. I am happy to share my hobbies with my partners casually or other wise. I'm willing to compromise some of the time I spend on hobbies to be with my loved ones but dude if it means I have to choose between being out in nature and sitting on my bum in front of a TV... nature will win. I can sit on my bum on any cold day all winter long.

 

I enjoy doing this on vacation. Did a bunch on vacation last year with my friend who is also into this hobby and it worked out well. Did pare back how many we ended up attempting though. If I have a partner I would expect that I could participate in my hobby when we do rest breaks just like the partner might like to do stuff they like to do on rest breaks or otherwise. We don't have to be together the whole time. I'm not stopping my partner from their stuff and I expect the same respect. But I certainly don't expect them to join in my hobby. Just respect that it's something I enjoy doing.

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What are her hobbies? If you can "marry" her interests with a certain style of geocaching, you might be able to win her over.

 

I can see where a roadtrip might not be the ideal place to introduce someone to a new hobby because they might just want to get to their destination.

 

Pick some place truly amazing that your wife wants to see. Then pick just one cache at that location, and plan a trip around it. She gets something that she wants, and you can show her the good side of finding caches at new places.

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I haven't been able to talk hubby into doing any caching at all... not even any cleverly-disguised "nature walks" in the park. Me and the GeoKids and/or GeoTeens just head out and leave him to his paperwork or movies or whatever it is he'd rather be doing at the time. :) It gets us out of his hair for hours, the kids have fun, I accumulate more smileys, and all are happy at the end.

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I have taken her on a few nature hikes. If it takes longer than a half hour to get to the cache then she is not interested. Also I have taken her to small parks that take only 10 minutes and she doesn't find them fun either.

 

Some things you just have to do on your own, maybe this is one of them.

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We recently went on a trip from Pa to Fl. I have an Oregon 450 and I made a few pocket queries to cache along route 95. I planned on trying a few that were at rest stops when we had to use the restrooms. My wife got mad and didn't see the fun in finding caches at the stops. So I was not able to even attempt any of them. My question how do you get your spouse more involved in the game,sport of geocaching.

 

The question should be, how can I cache when I'm traveling with someone who doesn't share the interest?

 

I have never, ever converted someone to geocaching after they understood the basics. Either you are a geocacher or you are not. I have introduced people to caching that some have continued to enjoy the sport, but did you know that onetime I was on a trail and brought up geocaching to a couple I met. They said that 'We know about that, we cache back in Arizona. We should have brought our gps".

 

Ah. No. sorry, in my opinion you don't 'forget' to geocache.

 

Could you imagine if my wife wanted to stop on a trip to visit all the places she wanted to go? "We're stopping at the outlet mall and I would really like you to share the experience of shoe-shopping with me."

 

Unfortunately for me, my wife doesn't ever want to stop along the way. Then I could say, you go shopping, I'll go caching.

 

So I have to compromise.

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I guess it depends on your wife's personality.

 

I am married to a girly girl but she is tough as nails growing up in the Rockies. We had been looking for a co-hobby for YEARS without success. I brought GC'ing up, explaining the basics of the game, hobby, sport. I also explained that we really needed something to do TOGETHER where we get to spend quality time together without the tv, internet, text messages, footbal, etc.

 

Well, we tried a couple on Saturday and spent all day Sunday caching. I avoided micros like the plague, selecting larger caches. I handed her the GPS when we got within 500 feet and let her direct. I also hung back, allowing her to look and explore. I listened intently when she caught me up on nothing in particular ALL DAY LONG ! Mind you all this took place in snow and mid-twenties weather.

 

So how did she respond ? Like a maniac. Climbed up hills on all fours. She repeatedly Jammed her hands in to dark, dank, spidery holes to ferret out caches. Beamed like a school girl every time she located a cache.

 

We went to dinner Sunday night for taquitos and Coronas. She had this huge smile on her face which was awesome. (It's tough to get a wife to smile!) She has her McTOys and army men displayed proudly on the bookshelf and shows them to anyone that stops by.

 

We bought her her own GPS. Tonight I am giving her the basics. This weekend she wants to solo some caches with me there for support.

 

So what do I think about her rabid zealessness for geocaching? If momma is happy, then the whole danged house is happy ! Can I get an Amen from all the married guys in the house ? :D

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Well, my wife doesn't hate it, but she doesn't get into nearly as much as me. That being said, she does, on occasion, say, "Let's go grab some caches." You see, she likes to just get out of the house and go for a drive or something, but she likes to have a purpose to the outing.

 

Of course, I'm fortunate in that she wants me to have some fun too, so this is just one of the ways we combine our interests. She is much happier to see donkeys, colts, and goats along the way than stopping and looking for tupperware. BUT, she does enjoy browsing through cemeteries and almost anywhere we stop she find animals, scenery, SOMEthing to look at and enjoy.

 

As for trips, I always do as the OP did. I get CAAR PQs and we incorporate our/my caching into our trip. Oftentimes, we just stop for gas or lunch and I try to find a place to stop that also has a cache. Stop, get gas, she goes inside, I grab the cache, get back in the vehicle, and we are on our way. Other times, she just wants a break from driving so I'll look for a cemetery, museum, roadside park, smalltown square, or anything else that may be interesting that has a cache or 3 nearby. Sometimes we add no time to our stop, other times we add an hour (or hours). All depends on the cache and the reason for the stop.

 

And this technique works well for the rest of our lives to. I take my gizmo everywhere. If she is gonna shop, I'm gonna cache nearby and pick her up when I'm done or she calls. If we are going somehwere, we may (or may not) stop for a quick grab along the way. Sometimes I'll just mention that there's a cache nearby and she'll say, "Well, which way do I go?" I think, sometimes, she is just eager to see where chance takes us sometimes too.

 

Did I mention that I love this woman? :D

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Some people just don't like it. You can't force someone to find a hobby enjoyable. It's okay for a husband and wife to have different interests too. It keeps things cool!

 

That's the key. There are some people who (believe it or not) simply have no interest in geocaching. I know many happy couples where one or the other is not a geocacher. In these relationships the non geocaching spouse supports the geocacher's obsession in some manner - whether it's joining their partner on cache hunts and enjoying the non-geocaching aspects of an outing, or simply allowing the spouse to go caching while they find something else to do.

 

If one partner is unwilling to accommodate the other's interest in geocaching then that relationship has issues that go beyond geocaching.

 

As others mentioned, the best way to get a spouse into caching is to figure out what aspect of geocaching might appeal to him or her. For example, when I started geocaching my wife had little interest in it. She thought it to be a peculiar past time. But my wife is an avid hiker so she would accompany me on my caching hikes. Soon, rather than standing and watching me hunt, she started joining in. Eventually she was the one who wanted to keep looking when I was ready to give up. Now she has her own account and sometimes the one of the first things she asks me in the morning is where we're going caching that day.

Edited by briansnat
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That seems like a pretty negative response to caching at a rest stop you were stopping at in the first place. But then it looks like, though you've been caching for 2+ years, you normally did it with less ffrequency and not during vacations. So I'm going to take the leap and guess that you typically do this around your area and she doesn't come with you. Maybe she didn't expect you to still be interested in it; maybe she thought of it as just a hobby around the local area and not something you'd take on the road; maybe she's embarrassed by you snooping around guard rails and bushes out in public. Hard to say without asking her.

 

I'm the more active of the two of us as far as caching goes, but geocaching was actually my wife's idea, then I dove in. I've taken the GPSr with us on many a vacation, and when it's the two of us, I exercise some restraint to make sure it doesn't take over the trip, but if there's a neat area with a cache, we're going there.

 

When other family members are involved, say, my folks or her mom, I will load in caches as normal, but I am extra cautious not to monopolize other folks's time, and maybe I'll only get a few. If there are a few "must do" caches, then that's one thing, but otherwise I definitely find myself passing caches up out of consideration.

 

But the bottom line is, it's my vacation, too, and while I try to make sure that caching doesn't take it over, there should be some balance. It's not all going to be caching, it's not all going to be shopping, it's not all going to be museums, it's going to take compromise on all parts, because it's everyone's vacation.

 

Before you plan your next trip, I recommend sitting down with your wife and talking to her about this to try and find some middle ground, set some boundaries while making sure that you're both going to enjoy the trip and that it will incorporate both of your interests.

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We recently went on a trip from Pa to Fl. I have an Oregon 450 and I made a few pocket queries to cache along route 95. I planned on trying a few that were at rest stops when we had to use the restrooms. My wife got mad and didn't see the fun in finding caches at the stops. So I was not able to even attempt any of them. My question how do you get your spouse more involved in the game,sport of geocaching.

No bathroom breaks unless there is a cache within .1 miles. She'll never know you were gone.

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....did you know that onetime I was on a trail and brought up geocaching to a couple I met. They said that 'We know about that, we cache back in Arizona. We should have brought our gps".

 

Ah. No. sorry, in my opinion you don't 'forget' to geocache.

 

I totally get that. Dabbling doesn't count.

 

I have tried to convert family members but they never go on their own or ask me if I want to go geocaching while I'm over for a visit. When we do go out they're ready to call it a day after 2 caches and want to head for the nearest mall. You aren't a geocacher if you prefer shopping over geocaching or if you 'forget' to bring your GPS while traveling.

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We recently went on a trip from Pa to Fl. I have an Oregon 450 and I made a few pocket queries to cache along route 95. I planned on trying a few that were at rest stops when we had to use the restrooms. My wife got mad and didn't see the fun in finding caches at the stops. So I was not able to even attempt any of them. My question how do you get your spouse more involved in the game,sport of geocaching.

 

I would find another wife <_<

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I actually like having a seperation I think it's healthy to have some things that you just do with your friends apart from your wife. Besides if you are on a trip and she got mad hey it is your trip to she should be a little more understanding as long as you don't go overboard and make her find a lot of caches along the way.

 

Scubasonic

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I have taken her on a few nature hikes. If it takes longer than a half hour to get to the cache then she is not interested. Also I have taken her to small parks that take only 10 minutes and she doesn't find them fun either.

Geocaching really is not for everyone. If she doesn't like caching so be it. I'm glad my wifey likes to cache. Maybe you should get a girlfriend. :ph34r:

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You aren't a geocacher if you prefer shopping over geocaching or if you 'forget' to bring your GPS while traveling.

 

I beg to differ. You can have multiple hobbies and interests apart from geocaching and still be a geocacher. It just doesn't dominate your spare time completely.

 

Seriously. I know lots of people who only geocache once in a while. There's nothing wrong with that.

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I actually have sort of the opposite problem. Often, I'll want to go out and my girlfreind wants to go with me. She really gets into the trading aspect of caching, which is something I don't care much about (with the exception of trackables). It's wonderful we get to spend time together, but sometimes she drives me crazy. She's slower and not as accustomed to hiking. She has to stop to take breaks, and is often taking pictures or sketching while I do the dirty work... then we get to ground zero and inevitably she's the one who makes the find! LOL! But it's all good; she just likes to be with me while I'm participating in an activity I enjoy. In return, I go with her to crafting fairs and the like. It's a trade-off, more about spending time together than about spending time Geocaching.

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I am not sure that there is any way to "convert" someone. At least I have not discovered it with my wife and family. So I have settled for trying to cultivate patience.

 

When we are traveling, I can usually count on stopping for virtuals, earthcaches, and caches in places where we might otherwise be going. I can sometimes use caching to bring us to spots we may have never discovered otherwise. Sometimes I try to remind her about all places we have found through caching. But she in turn has been known wonder if I would give up caching if asked.

 

There are so many credits I can use before pushing my luck, so when I am with her, lamp post hides are out. The five minute rule limits many searches.

 

She has sometimes been patient when I go out caching with others. At other times, she thinks I am abandoning her or shirking household duties (well, the painting project has been delayed a long time). I don't think she was that sympathetic to the lack of caching over the recent holidays.

 

The other day, I heard a commercial about the importance of games in helping us to thrive. I used that to tell her that I just wanted to thrive together for a long time. She thinks some of the other games I play are even sillier than caching.

 

My daughter has been more patient. She no longer likes the search, but an adventure can be fun. We spent a couple of days around Christmas hiking up canyons in search of waterfalls and ridges -- I had long since found (or placed) the caches in those areas, but simply wanted to take her to some special spots. It was nice to do that without the gpsr.

 

And my wife will occasionally hike or bike with me. I just have to be prepared to hear the whine of the non-geocaching spouse. The thing is she could be an awesome cacher. More than once she has stood next to the cache location and politely asked if I had looked there.

Edited by mulvaney
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I fall into the catagory of the non-caching spouse. My son and I started the hobby a little over a year ago, and he goes with me most of the time. My wife on the other hand, really has no interest in it at all. We've talked her into going with us a couple of times, but she's content to sit in the car and work on one of her puzzle books while my son and I are out looking for the cache. :) Although, recently she about gave me a coronary. She needed to take some paperwork for her job to the office which is in a town about a half hour or so from home. She didn't want to make the drive alone so she asked me if I wanted to go and do some caching along the way...make a day of it! I was all over that like flies on...er...you know. ;) Picked out a nice little series that spanned the whole length of our trip right into town and ended mere blocks from her destination! Even though she still doesn't want to actually participate on the hunts with us, I think she may be starting to like it well enough to go with us again on another road trip. She was even searching her car for anything we could use for some trading swag at one stop. :) Small steps.

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You aren't a geocacher if you prefer shopping over geocaching or if you 'forget' to bring your GPS while traveling.

 

I beg to differ. You can have multiple hobbies and interests apart from geocaching and still be a geocacher. It just doesn't dominate your spare time completely.

 

Seriously. I know lots of people who only geocache once in a while. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

Nothing wrong with dabblers, but if you're a serious cacher you may have a hard time fathoming how one could 'forget' about geocaching while vacationing/traveling. Kind of like calling yourself a runner but you only go out with your friend Sue every other week during the summer months and you only run about 1-mile round trip. You mostly run so you and Sue have something to do but are you really a 'runner'.

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she's content to sit in the car and work on one of her puzzle books while my son and I are out looking for the cache

 

That kind of talent could be used for good. I've tried to get my family interested in solving puzzle caches for me, but it has only proven fruitful once. A couple of us had spent a day brsinstorming solutions to a thorny one. The CO suggested I ask my wife. 10 seconds later the solution was in hand.

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We recently went on a trip from Pa to Fl. I have an Oregon 450 and I made a few pocket queries to cache along route 95. I planned on trying a few that were at rest stops when we had to use the restrooms. My wife got mad and didn't see the fun in finding caches at the stops. So I was not able to even attempt any of them. My question how do you get your spouse more involved in the game,sport of geocaching.

 

I would find another wife <_<

 

Huh,

 

One for home and one for caching. Are there conventions against that sort of arrangement?

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Get a new wife. If she's just not into it, that's one thing, but getting mad at you for doing something you enjoy is just ridiculous.

 

Seriously? According to my wife marriage is another word for - If you are having fun, Stop it!

 

I expect better from you. If this is your reality I am sorry for you.

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Nothing wrong with dabblers, but if you're a serious cacher you may have a hard time fathoming how one could 'forget' about geocaching while vacationing/traveling.

 

That's simple. When I'm on a SCUBA dive trip to Pensacola, I'm still a greasy, hippie rock climber... I'm just not climbing at the moment.

 

I'm a serious runner. I'm mountain biker. I'm a civilian pilot. I'm doer of puzzles. I'm a beer drinker. I'm a geocacher. I'm all these things without being defined by only one of them. They used to call these folks "renaissance men."

 

 

 

The key to truly appreciating the simple joys of a hobby or pasttime is to experiment with others. It makes you interesting. As my friend Trip says, "it helps with the ladies."

 

... which is weird because he forgets that I'm a girl and I like boys.

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My wife and kids are also not into geocaching, but give me the oppertunaty to get out geocaching on my own. F.i. during vacations I get a couple of days to get out. Or search for caaches in the morning and join them on the beach in the afternoon. Sometimes they join if its an interesting location to visit, but in general I'm on my own. I'm used to it and don't mind. Everybody is unique and lucky enough don't all have the same interests. I also don't have to join shopping or do needlework with my wife. So, don't see it as something negative but see it as a win-win situation.

 

Greetings, Moose61

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Nothing wrong with dabblers, but if you're a serious cacher you may have a hard time fathoming how one could 'forget' about geocaching while vacationing/traveling.

 

That's simple. When I'm on a SCUBA dive trip to Pensacola, I'm still a greasy, hippie rock climber... I'm just not climbing at the moment.

 

I'm a serious runner. I'm mountain biker. I'm a civilian pilot. I'm doer of puzzles. I'm a beer drinker. I'm a geocacher. I'm all these things without being defined by only one of them.

 

Marry me? Oh that's right, I'm already married. While you're out running and mountain biking I can be kayaking and flyfishing and then come home and drink good beer. My father's a private pilot (he's built two planes and is starting on a third...at the age of 79). I wish I would have considered getting a pilots license a long time ago. It would be a wonderful way to do a weekend geocaching trip in another state.

 

 

The key to truly appreciating the simple joys of a hobby or pasttime is to experiment with others. It makes you interesting. As my friend Trip says, "it helps with the ladies."

 

... which is weird because he forgets that I'm a girl and I like boys.

 

Your friend Trip wouldn't happen to be an avid whitewater kayaker, would he?

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That's simple. When I'm on a SCUBA dive trip to Pensacola, I'm still a greasy, hippie rock climber... I'm just not climbing at the moment.

 

I'm a serious runner. I'm mountain biker. I'm a civilian pilot. I'm doer of puzzles. I'm a beer drinker. I'm a geocacher. I'm all these things without being defined by only one of them. They used to call these folks "renaissance men."

 

The key to truly appreciating the simple joys of a hobby or pasttime is to experiment with others. It makes you interesting.

 

EXACTLY. Well said. I am a jogger, a book worm, a stamp collector, adore riding motorcycles, love to bake, love to write, do crafts, and geocache. I'm kinda into just about everything. :)

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