+natterjacktoad Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 One of Mr NJT's one-liners (said to an old geezer moaning non-stop in a queue) 'I bet it's being so cheerful that keeps you going!' (the bloke's wife thought it was hilarious!) Quote Link to comment
+natterjacktoad Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 One of my biology teachers used to moan at us for sitting 'with our thumbs in our b*ms and our minds in neutral'! That's my 3! Quote Link to comment
+J the Goat Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Regarding incompetant employees They're who we get our ADA money for, that's why they're still here. Quote Link to comment
+J the Goat Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Yep, you're as sharp as a marble. Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 behind a succsessfull husband is alwasy a mother in law who is not believing in her eyes!!!! Quote Link to comment
+Paulo Si Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 "The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." Quote Link to comment
Maine Family Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Smile-It makes everyone wonder what ya up to. Quote Link to comment
+burgessfour Posted November 27, 2010 Share Posted November 27, 2010 Something I tell my kids - "The First Rule of Holes; When You're In One Quit Digging". Thanks for the fun cointest!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment
+TimeTraveler09 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 From college: "Bear in the Hallway!" Quote Link to comment
+TimeTraveler09 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 "(Blank) is/are dumber than snot." Quote Link to comment
+TimeTraveler09 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 My old high school english teacher's favorite one-liner: "There are no new stories; only old ones retold." That's my third in the last few minutes. Good stuff so far from all! Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Is that a gun in your pocket.... or you are happy to see me?? Quote Link to comment
paganfrog Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 if ifs and ands were pots and pans there would be no need for tinkers Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Most probably 8 hours have passed... So.......... Statistics say that 1 out of 4 humans is suffering from certain mental disturbance. Think your three better friends. If they are healthy, then you have problem. Quote Link to comment
+Ian1959 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 $300 for a Velcro Bra? What a rip off! IRS: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." Next time you wave, use all your fingers! Rehab Is for Quitters! You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. Quote Link to comment
+Ashallond Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Black holes are where God divided by zero. Quote Link to comment
+scificollector Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 as Mark Twain once said, "I'm just tall enough to reach the ground" Quote Link to comment
+goosefraba1 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't. Quote Link to comment
+goosefraba1 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." Quote Link to comment
+madmomma72 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 My uncle is well-known in my hometown for his gardening abilities. There's a family legend about him that goes like this (and ends in his one-liner!): Someone from out-of-town stopped at Uncle John's in the fall and asked him if they could buy a hundred pounds of potatoes from him. He thought for a moment and said, "I don't cut a potato in half for anybody." Quote Link to comment
+goosefraba1 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 My pap always used to say "Don't pee in the wind, son". Quote Link to comment
+scificollector Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 it hasn't been 8 hrs yet for me but I just ran across this one which is geocaching related and my wife stared at me as I rolled around on the floor: Quote from a cacher named Foo Man Joo "I'm logging an FT on that one: F**K THAT!" it makes me imagine a micro tied to a branch that dangles over a 1000 foot drop hundreds of miles in the wilderness Quote Link to comment
+mamoreb Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 War does not determine who is right - only who is left. Quote Link to comment
+Carbon Hunter Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Don't take life too seriously - you're not going to get out of it alive .... Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 I was searching all my life, for the perfect woman but when I found her... she was searching for the perfect man... Quote Link to comment
paganfrog Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 its cold in caithness "cold enough to make a brass monkey cry" Quote Link to comment
+seekerfamily Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Loyalty -- Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk for a day. When they get out, which one will give you a kiss? Quote Link to comment
+scificollector Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Its a bit esoteric(google - battlecry spoon) but every once in a while when we find a cache, we all yell out "SPOON!" Quote Link to comment
+fuzziebear3 Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 When I joined the chorus, they asked me to sing solo ... so low that no one would hear me Quote Link to comment
+The Skylark Four Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. Quote Link to comment
+The Skylark Four Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded. Quote Link to comment
+The Skylark Four Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. Quote Link to comment
+SYOTT Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 ...man, I gotta save up to be poor!!! Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 He is so ugly that we had to hang a steak from his neck so the dog will play with him!! Quote Link to comment
+GeoBroke Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Stupid is as Stupid does Quote Link to comment
+MinnesotaBen Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 My High School basketball coach, who recently passed away had a few good quips: "You can wish in one hand and sh!t in the other, and see which hand fills up first." Quote Link to comment
+MinnesotaBen Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 #2 from my High School basketball coach, when he'd pass out jerseys to start the year, and eventually a new player would ask for a specific jersey number... "If you have an issue, talk to the Polish philosopher, Tough Sh!tski!" Quote Link to comment
+MinnesotaBen Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 One I like to use when someone tells me something or wants to make sure I understood: "I hear ya cluckin' big chicken." Side Note: Good luck with Movember!! I am involved too, taking part in the "not yet official" record setting Mo's this past weekend. Quote Link to comment
+gardengorilla Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 ah! I just saw this now. I am so glad for the little pick me ups this morning...it is week two of a very long inlaws visit. I sent them on a boat down the river today....for a wine cruise and a little peace and quiet (for me) Here's one of my faves... "Do I have to rip off your arm and beat you with it!?" Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Well.. to complete 8 hours... I need to wait for 5 minutes... but it is already 5 in the morning and I need some sleep! I hope it will be ok to post now... "Two things are boundless, the universe and human stupidity, .....but I am not sure for the first!!!" Quote Link to comment
CacheFinderGreg Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 "Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect" Quote Link to comment
justletmehave1 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 "been though worse with a hangover" Quote Link to comment
justletmehave1 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 "Everyone deserves to be happy" Quote Link to comment
+º Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." (awesome idea I did ride along with Matt on his Life Cycle tour for the first few km - I am the yellow guy - http://www.fox.com.au/shows/mattandjo/gall...ike-ride-photos - and yes, Martina and I also donated some $$$) Quote Link to comment
+EyeD10T Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Bosses are like dirty diapers....always on your butt and usually full of poop. Quote Link to comment
+DirtyMiss Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 9 of 10 voices in me say, that Im not crazy. The 10th sings the melody of Tetris Quote Link to comment
+GATOULIS Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Everything has an end except sausage, which has two!!! Quote Link to comment
+joefrog Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Mentioned about a dimwit in the office: "The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead." Quote Link to comment
+TimeTraveler09 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 "It is better to keep quiet and look like a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." Quote Link to comment
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