Cointest & To Help raise awareness for Mens Health

[+natterjacktoad]

One of Mr NJT's one-liners (said to an old geezer moaning non-stop in a queue) 'I bet it's being so cheerful that keeps you going!' (the bloke's wife thought it was hilarious!)

[+natterjacktoad]

One of my biology teachers used to moan at us for sitting 'with our thumbs in our b*ms and our minds in neutral'!

 

That's my 3!

[+J the Goat]

Regarding incompetant employees

 

They're who we get our ADA money for, that's why they're still here.

[+J the Goat]

Yep, you're as sharp as a marble.

[+GATOULIS]

behind a succsessfull husband is alwasy a mother in law who is not believing in her eyes!!!!

[+Paulo Si]

"The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."

[Maine Family]

Smile-It makes everyone wonder what ya up to.

[+burgessfour]

Something I tell my kids -

"The First Rule of Holes; When You're In One Quit Digging".

 

Thanks for the fun cointest!!!!!!!!!!!

[+TimeTraveler09]

From college: "Bear in the Hallway!"

[+TimeTraveler09]

"(Blank) is/are dumber than snot."

[+TimeTraveler09]

My old high school english teacher's favorite one-liner: "There are no new stories; only old ones retold."

 

That's my third in the last few minutes. Good stuff so far from all!

[+GATOULIS]

Is that a gun in your pocket.... or you are happy to see me??

[paganfrog]

if ifs and ands were pots and pans there would be no need for tinkers

[+GATOULIS]

Most probably 8 hours have passed...

 

So..........

 

Statistics say that 1 out of 4 humans is suffering from certain mental disturbance. Think your three better friends. If they are healthy, then you have problem.

[+Ian1959]

$300 for a Velcro Bra? What a rip off!

 

IRS: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

 

Next time you wave, use all your fingers!

 

Rehab Is for Quitters!

 

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

[+Ashallond]

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

 

[+scificollector]

as Mark Twain once said,

 

"I'm just tall enough to reach the ground"

 

[+goosefraba1]

There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.

[+goosefraba1]

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

[+madmomma72]

My uncle is well-known in my hometown for his gardening abilities. There's a family legend about him that goes like this (and ends in his one-liner!):

 

Someone from out-of-town stopped at Uncle John's in the fall and asked him if they could buy a hundred pounds of potatoes from him.

 

He thought for a moment and said, "I don't cut a potato in half for anybody."

 

[+goosefraba1]

My pap always used to say "Don't pee in the wind, son".

[+scificollector]

it hasn't been 8 hrs yet for me but I just ran across this one which is geocaching related and my wife stared at me as I rolled around on the floor:

 

Quote from a cacher named Foo Man Joo

 

"I'm logging an FT on that one: F**K THAT!"

 

it makes me imagine a micro tied to a branch that dangles over a 1000 foot drop hundreds of miles in the wilderness

[+mamoreb]

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

[+Carbon Hunter]

Don't take life too seriously - you're not going to get out of it alive ....

[+GATOULIS]

I was searching all my life, for the perfect woman but when I found her... she was searching for the perfect man...

[paganfrog]

its cold in caithness "cold enough to make a brass monkey cry"

[+seekerfamily]

Loyalty -- Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk for a day. When they get out, which one will give you a kiss?

[+scificollector]

Its a bit esoteric(google - battlecry spoon) but every once in a while when we find a cache, we all yell out "SPOON!"

[+fuzziebear3]

When I joined the chorus, they asked me to sing solo ...

so low that no one would hear me

[+The Skylark Four]

The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

[+The Skylark Four]

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

[+The Skylark Four]

I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

[+SYOTT]

...man, I gotta save up to be poor!!!

[+GATOULIS]

He is so ugly that we had to hang a steak from his neck so the dog will play with him!!

[+GeoBroke]

Stupid is as Stupid does

[+MinnesotaBen]

My High School basketball coach, who recently passed away had a few good quips:

 

"You can wish in one hand and sh!t in the other, and see which hand fills up first."

[+MinnesotaBen]

#2 from my High School basketball coach, when he'd pass out jerseys to start the year, and eventually a new player would ask for a specific jersey number...

 

"If you have an issue, talk to the Polish philosopher, Tough Sh!tski!"

[+MinnesotaBen]

One I like to use when someone tells me something or wants to make sure I understood:

 

"I hear ya cluckin' big chicken."

 

Side Note: Good luck with Movember!! I am involved too, taking part in the "not yet official" record setting Mo's this past weekend.

[+gardengorilla]

ah! I just saw this now. I am so glad for the little pick me ups this morning...it is week two of a very long inlaws visit.

I sent them on a boat down the river today....for a wine cruise and a little peace and quiet (for me)

 

Here's one of my faves...

 

"Do I have to rip off your arm and beat you with it!?"

[+GATOULIS]

Well.. to complete 8 hours... I need to wait for 5 minutes... but it is already 5 in the morning and I need some sleep! I hope it will be ok to post now...

 

"Two things are boundless, the universe and human stupidity, .....but I am not sure for the first!!!"

[CacheFinderGreg]

"Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect"

[justletmehave1]

"been though worse with a hangover"

[justletmehave1]

"Everyone deserves to be happy"

[+º]

"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

 

(awesome idea I did ride along with Matt on his Life Cycle tour for the first few km - I am the yellow guy - http://www.fox.com.au/shows/mattandjo/gall...ike-ride-photos - and yes, Martina and I also donated some $$$)

[+EyeD10T]

Bosses are like dirty diapers....always on your butt and usually full of poop.

[+DirtyMiss]

9 of 10 voices in me say, that Im not crazy. The 10th sings the melody of Tetris

[+DirtyMiss]

[+GATOULIS]

Everything has an end except sausage, which has two!!!

[+joefrog]

Mentioned about a dimwit in the office:

 

"The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead."

[+TimeTraveler09]

"It is better to keep quiet and look like a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."