Thoughts on wording for my swag

[+Knight2000]

I often leave coins in caches. My latest are baggies that have 3 coins. (Buffalo nickel, wheat cent, and a random foreign coin.) Each baggie has a paper that tells just a couple of facts about the U.S. coins. I have kind of worded them more toward children as I think it might be something that kids are interested in.

 

Inside this coin packet you will find three coins. A U.S. “wheat” cent, a U.S. “buffalo” nickel, and a random foreign coin.

 

Did you know that in the U.S. we do not have pennies? The correct name is a cent. Wheat cents were minted from 1909-1958 and you will rarely see one in circulation.

 

Buffalo nickels are even rarer. They are sometimes referred to as “Indian head” nickels and were minted from 1913–1938. You will probably never see one of these in circulation again.

 

My daughter and I are ready to put together another type of baggie that has an inert gun cartridge in it. (Most would call them bullets. Bullets are actually just the projectile.) She is 7 and she will put these together with my reloading press. (She likes to leave cartridge cases but I told her that she should use the cases to put together an inert cartridge. She loves reloading ammunition.) I was going to include another fact sheet about ammunition reloading.

 

Do you think the wording should be similar to the above? I don't want to dumb things down so much that one might view it as condescending. I realize that most people that cache are not kids but I also think that these folks do not trade either. I always think of kids when we leave swag. Although I do often see folks saying they took a coin or one of our poker chips!

 

Thoughts?

[knowschad]

Inert or not, I think you're going to run into problems with the cartridges, Knight. Some people are going to freak out.

 

Re: no "pennies"... wow! I just learned something. (Wikipedia link) Can I go home now?

[+briansnat]

Why not? Make sure you explain what inert is so people don't freak when they see the cartridge.

 

BTW, I pull wheat cents out of circulaion all the time and have quite a collection. They are pretty common.

[knowschad]

Why not? Make sure you explain what inert is so people don't freak when they see the cartridge.

 

For no logical reason, I'm sure. Personally, I don't see any problem with pocket knives in caches though, so I'm not a good one to ask.

[+c@cache]

I thought there was a rule, somewhere, about leaving any kind of ammo in a cache...I'll go search for it, but I make no promises.

 

Otherwise, I personally see no problem with inert cartridges (as a kid I would collect them after Memorial Day parades), especially as an educational tool. I would suggest keeping the same tone you did for the coins, since it is neither condescending nor too adult. Most adults will not mind if the wording is a little bit "dumbed down" since they will realize that it is for kids. Short, sweet and to the point is how you wrote the first note, and that's how you should write the second.

 

(Also, I had no idea that they weren't called pennies! Thanks for the fun fact!)

[+Castle Mischief]

I think the "dumbed down" wording is fine.

 

I've got mixed feelings about leaving spent ammo. Not in the "how dare you leave a bullet in a cache" kind of way, but more of a headlines read: "Internet Treasure Chest Found to Contain Ammunition Cartridge Fragments After Disabled by Bomb Squad" kind of way.

[+Knight2000]

Inert or not, I think you're going to run into problems with the cartridges, Knight. Some people are going to freak out.

 

Re: no "pennies"... wow! I just learned something. (Wikipedia link) Can I go home now?

There are other cachers that leave these. I won't be the only one.

 

Technically they are not cartridges are they are missing the primer and the propellant.

 

They are within guidelines. They are not ammunition and they will actually be a bit educational.

 

My daughter just made about 20 of them in about 5 minutes. She's no speed demon at the press, but she likes it.

[+Knight2000]

BTW, I pull wheat cents out of circulaion all the time and have quite a collection. They are pretty common.

Really? I haven't seen one in years. I actually bought mine at a coin shop.

[+J-Way]

Inert Cartridges: I assume you mean just shoving a lead bullet into a cartridge with no powder or primer. Are you talking common civilian rounds, like 9mm (pistol) or 7.62mm (rifle), or are you talking about more rare (high-power) military style rounds (say, .50 cal or above)? I believe that most people would assume the civilian rounds were live, and would either grab them and try to fire them, or report them as inappropriate items. Most people would immediately think the military rounds were inert (you can buy inert cartridges in some military surplus stores), but you still might get a few reports of inappropriate items.

 

And what if there's a muggle report of a "suspicious package", and the responding bomb unit sees the theoretically live ammunition inside?

 

Personally, I'd think it was great swag. But I think you'll probably have problems in the long run.

 

As for the 1-cent coin, I know the "official" name is "cent", but if I were to ask almost anyone in the USA if I could borrow a "penny", they'd know what I meant. So they are called pennies.

[aniyn]

One of the local teams out here makes pendants like that as their signature item. They epoxy a small ring where the primer should go so you can wear it if you want. I've never seen anyone complain about them since even a passing inspection shows them to be harmless. They actually seem fairly popular as trade items.

[+Knight2000]

9mm. They do not have primers in them. The have FMJ (full metal jacket) instead of lead. (If we use lead I would cover the lead with a clear coat to protect those that worry.)

 

Inert .50 cal would be nice but those are very expensive!

 

They will have a paper included that explains the reloading process. It would be in a baggie. You would be able to read it without opening the bag.

 

There is a little more to it then just shoving a bullet in. You need to de-prime them, re-size them, flare the opening, insert the bullet and crimp if necessary.

 

This isn't about the swag. Just about how adults would feel reading a dumbed down info sheet. I don't want to offend.

Edited August 19, 2009 by Knight2000

[+Gitchee-Gummee]

I know this is a little off-track, but........................

 

If you were to leave a silver bullet (just the bullet -- save the brass for yourself ), you would not generate the inevitable alarm than by leaving an "apparent" live cartridge.

 

Just as there are millions of muggles than can report a cache as a suspicious package (we did just go through that, didn't we), there are just as many people not very knowledgeable about firearms/ammunition.

 

To them, a bullet (cartridge) is a bullet, inert or not, and they WILL take offense to it, also calling out the authorities to "defuse"it. They are not going to read anything, just scream to high heaven.

 

 

That's my 2 cents, and I'm sticking to it

Edited August 19, 2009 by Gitchee-Gummee

[+Steve&GeoCarolyn]

This isn't about the swag. Just about how adults would feel reading a dumbed down info sheet. I don't want to offend.

 

I see nothing wrong with an info sheet written to a low reading level with the kind of GeeWhiz! tone that info directed at children has. I think we have all grown up with it and almost everyone is fine with it. If people weren't ok with it you wouldn't see adults grab the child-oriented placemats at travel diners to read the fun facts and riddles. Most adults have a bit of child in them.

 

Also, a surprising number of adults read at a fairly low level, so I think you can consider this kind of info sheet a benefit to a lot of people.

 

Carolyn

Edited August 19, 2009 by Steve&GeoCarolyn

[knowschad]

you wouldn't see adults grab the child-oriented placemats at travel diners to read the fun facts and riddles.

 

sshhhh!!!

[+moparots]

I think if you drilled two small holes in each cartridge base and strung some fishing line through and made some cool necklaces. That would reasure people that the cartridge was inert.

[+wimseyguy]

BTW, I pull wheat cents out of circulaion all the time and have quite a collection. They are pretty common.

Really? I haven't seen one in years. I actually bought mine at a coin shop.

 

I handle $1000-2000 cash daily at work and see wheaties several times a week. don't even bother grabbing them out any more. I think the Bicentennial pennies cents are far rarer. I will buy out the older SBA $1 coins and the Eisenhower $1 and leave them behind in select caches. I agree that it's cool to show people coins that aren't minted any longer.

 

I understand that the cartridges are not ammo, but wonder how someone who isn't familiar with guns and ammo, nor has read this thread, would react if they found it. Or if the cache in question was part of a bomb squad/LEO callout. I don't think they are such a good idea for swag.

 

And to answer your OP, I think it's very well worded.

[+Steve&GeoCarolyn]

I understand that the cartridges are not ammo, but wonder how someone who isn't familiar with guns and ammo, nor has read this thread, would react if they found it.

 

I think that I can speak for the gun-ignorant here. I have no idea what a cartridge looks like. I can recognize a bullet, though I've mostly seen Civil War bullets at this point. I suspect a cartridge would look like just an odd piece of metal to me until I read the info sheet.

 

My guess is that the gun-ignorant are not going to be the problem people. It's the somewhat gun knowledgeable who will be concerned.

 

Carolyn

[+bittsen]

I think if you drilled two small holes in each cartridge base and strung some fishing line through and made some cool necklaces. That would reasure people that the cartridge was inert.

 

I was going to say that. That's how the 50 cal are sold at the surplus store I go to.

[+Knight2000]

 

 

This is an INERT REPLICA of a cartridge for a firearm.

 

Did you know that you can make your own ammunition? Firearms ammunition contains four parts. When those parts are put together they are called a “cartridge”. (Many people call them bullets. This is incorrect as bullets are only one part of the cartridge. The four parts are the case, primer, propellant, and bullet.

 

The first thing you need in reloading is the cartridge case. This is what is left over after a cartridge has been fired. Cases are made of brass or nickel which is easy to shape. When it is fired there is extreme pressure inside that actually changes the size of the case. One step in reloading is to RESIZE the case in a reloading press. (These can be inexpensive and small and are used for each step.) Resizing returns the case to the proper size to fit back into the firearm. (Sometimes cases lengthen too and need trimmed.)

 

The next step is to REMOVE THE USED PRIMER AND INSERT ANOTHER. A primer is what ignites the gun powder. It is like a little piece of dynamite that can only be used once. It is round and inserted in the end of the cartridge case. Sometimes this step is done at the same time the resizing is done. A small pin will push out the old primer from the inside. Some presses will let you insert the new primer at this time. You can also put them in with a hand tool instead.

 

For the bullet to fit you need to make the case opening a little bigger. This is called FLARING THE OPENING.

 

It’s time to PUT THE CHARGE IN. You must be very careful when you do this. You must have the correct amount of gunpowder or you could hurt someone or something! The charge is measured in grains. A grain is very small. There are 7,000 grains in a pound! A piece of ammunition like this will only use about 3 grains.

 

Once you put the powder in you INSERT the BULLET in the case. You will pull the handle on your machine to press the bullet inside the case. Make sure it is the right depth and length or you can have problems!

 

After the bullet is in you need to CRIMP THE CASE to hold the bullet in place. This just makes the case hold the bullet so it doesn’t fall out.

 

Now you are ready to shoot your cartridge! Remember, Always practice firearms safety and have fun “punching holes”! (Shooting at paper targets.)

 

This cartridge was made by Midnight Princess who is seven years old. It is missing the primer and gunpowder.

Left by Midnight Princess and KNIGHT2000.

 

I know my synopsis is not entirely inclusive and is not for teaching, but it gives a basic idea.

[+Knight2000]

I think if you drilled two small holes in each cartridge base and strung some fishing line through and made some cool necklaces. That would reasure people that the cartridge was inert.

 

I was going to say that. That's how the 50 cal are sold at the surplus store I go to.

50 bmg? That would kill your chest. I would think those would ensue more panic than a measly 9mm.

 

(Far left)

 

[knowschad]

50 bmg? That would kill your chest. I would think those would ensue more panic than a measly 9mm.

 

(Far left)

 

 

I fired one of those guys once at a gun show. The trees on either side shuddered from the escaping gasses. The power was unbelievable!

[+Knight2000]

50 bmg? That would kill your chest. I would think those would ensue more panic than a measly 9mm.

 

(Far left)

 

I fired one of those guys once at a gun show. The trees on either side shuddered from the escaping gasses. The power was unbelievable!

Doh! Don't stand beside it when someones shooting.

Edited August 19, 2009 by Knight2000

[knowschad]

50 bmg? That would kill your chest. I would think those would ensue more panic than a measly 9mm.

 

(Far left)

 

I fired one of those guys once at a gun show. The trees on either side shuddered from the escaping gasses. The power was unbelievable!

Are you sure it was a BMG round? That is a machine gun round that costs about $5 per round.

 

I used to have the cartridge around here, but can't find it now. No, I don't think it was as big as the one on the far left... more like the one next to it, from what I remember. It was 50mm, though (and I think it did cost $5 to fire it)

[+bittsen]

I think if you drilled two small holes in each cartridge base and strung some fishing line through and made some cool necklaces. That would reasure people that the cartridge was inert.

 

I was going to say that. That's how the 50 cal are sold at the surplus store I go to.

50 bmg? That would kill your chest. I would think those would ensue more panic than a measly 9mm.

 

I was referring to the hole drilled in it to show with absolute certainty that it was inert, not the necklace part. Yeah, that WOULD be a little heavy.

I had one of the 50cal as a kid and lost it about a day later because I carried it with me everywhere. As I recall, it had 2 holes drilled in it, each one about 3/16 inch.

I imagine a 1/16 hole would suffice in a 9mm casing.

[+Knight2000]

I used to have the cartridge around here, but can't find it now. No, I don't think it was as big as the one on the far left... more like the one next to it, from what I remember. It was 50mm, though (and I think it did cost $5 to fire it)

I was incorrect. Although it is a MG round there are also rifles that are chambered for it. That is probably what you shot.

[+Gitchee-Gummee]

50 bmg? That would kill your chest. I would think those would ensue more panic than a measly 9mm.

 

(Far left)

 

I fired one of those guys once at a gun show. The trees on either side shuddered from the escaping gasses. The power was unbelievable!

Doh! Don't stand beside it when someones shooting.

 

Don't stand in FRONT of them!

[+Knight2000]

Doh! Don't stand beside it when someones shooting.

Don't stand in FRONT of them!

You know what? That's an even better thought!

[+Steve&GeoCarolyn]

 

 

This is an INERT REPLICA of a cartridge for a firearm.

 

Did you know that you can make your own ammunition? Firearms ammunition contains four parts. When those parts are put together they are called a “cartridge”. (Many people call them bullets. This is incorrect as bullets are only one part of the cartridge. The four parts are the case, primer, propellant, and bullet.

 

The first thing you need in reloading is the cartridge case. This is what is left over after a cartridge has been fired. Cases are made of brass or nickel which is easy to shape. When it is fired there is extreme pressure inside that actually changes the size of the case. One step in reloading is to RESIZE the case in a reloading press. (These can be inexpensive and small and are used for each step.) Resizing returns the case to the proper size to fit back into the firearm. (Sometimes cases lengthen too and need trimmed.)

 

The next step is to REMOVE THE USED PRIMER AND INSERT ANOTHER. A primer is what ignites the gun powder. It is like a little piece of dynamite that can only be used once. It is round and inserted in the end of the cartridge case. Sometimes this step is done at the same time the resizing is done. A small pin will push out the old primer from the inside. Some presses will let you insert the new primer at this time. You can also put them in with a hand tool instead.

 

For the bullet to fit you need to make the case opening a little bigger. This is called FLARING THE OPENING.

 

It’s time to PUT THE CHARGE IN. You must be very careful when you do this. You must have the correct amount of gunpowder or you could hurt someone or something! The charge is measured in grains. A grain is very small. There are 7,000 grains in a pound! A piece of ammunition like this will only use about 3 grains.

 

Once you put the powder in you INSERT the BULLET in the case. You will pull the handle on your machine to press the bullet inside the case. Make sure it is the right depth and length or you can have problems!

 

After the bullet is in you need to CRIMP THE CASE to hold the bullet in place. This just makes the case hold the bullet so it doesn’t fall out.

 

Now you are ready to shoot your cartridge! Remember, Always practice firearms safety and have fun “punching holes”! (Shooting at paper targets.)

 

This cartridge was made by Midnight Princess who is seven years old. It is missing the primer and gunpowder.

Left by Midnight Princess and KNIGHT2000.

 

I know my synopsis is not entirely inclusive and is not for teaching, but it gives a basic idea.

 

Ah! I see. Thank you for the photos. I agree then that you will probably get some comments about them since they look like bullets. However, if they are legal as swag and they are not a danger to anyone, I don't see how anyone can credibly object.

 

The one thing I would suggest is getting a sense of the sentiment in Ohio. I lived in Columbus for about five years and people there seemed far more conventional than any other place I've lived with a very high premium placed on getting along with others, fitting in, and avoiding offense. (It was a very difficult place for me to adjust to after growing up in Colorado.) The culture may be different in North Eastern Ohio.

 

As to your note, I think that it is not dumbed down enough. I have fairly high reading skills and I had some trouble as I went along, probably because the material is unfamilar to me. However, I suspect that the people you are educating will also be unfamiliar with the material, so I'm probably a good test case.

 

I think you may be giving too much information in each step. I'd also recommend not using all-caps for emphasis. I wonder if you could include some pictures in the steps? I think that would be both interesting and would help make it easier to read since part of the issue in reading unfamiliar material is the difficulty in bringing up a picture in one's mind.

 

I am also concerned that some people may not know what the word "inert" means, but I think you've probably covered your bases by adding the word 'replica' after that. Also, I can't think of a better word for what you're trying to say.

 

You asked for comments about the note and those are mine.

 

Carolyn

 

Update: Upon reflection, I should say that it is actually paragraphs 2 and 3 that I had the most difficulty with. The other paragraphs are fine. (And I appreciate that you have paragraphed very clearly.)

Edited August 19, 2009 by Steve&GeoCarolyn

[+Don_J]

 

 

This is an INERT REPLICA of a cartridge for a firearm.

 

Did you know that you can make your own ammunition? Firearms ammunition contains four parts. When those parts are put together they are called a “cartridge”. (Many people call them bullets. This is incorrect as bullets are only one part of the cartridge. The four parts are the case, primer, propellant, and bullet.

 

The first thing you need in reloading is the cartridge case. This is what is left over after a cartridge has been fired. Cases are made of brass or nickel which is easy to shape. When it is fired there is extreme pressure inside that actually changes the size of the case. One step in reloading is to RESIZE the case in a reloading press. (These can be inexpensive and small and are used for each step.) Resizing returns the case to the proper size to fit back into the firearm. (Sometimes cases lengthen too and need trimmed.)

 

The next step is to REMOVE THE USED PRIMER AND INSERT ANOTHER. A primer is what ignites the gun powder. It is like a little piece of dynamite that can only be used once. It is round and inserted in the end of the cartridge case. Sometimes this step is done at the same time the resizing is done. A small pin will push out the old primer from the inside. Some presses will let you insert the new primer at this time. You can also put them in with a hand tool instead.

 

For the bullet to fit you need to make the case opening a little bigger. This is called FLARING THE OPENING.

 

It’s time to PUT THE CHARGE IN. You must be very careful when you do this. You must have the correct amount of gunpowder or you could hurt someone or something! The charge is measured in grains. A grain is very small. There are 7,000 grains in a pound! A piece of ammunition like this will only use about 3 grains.

 

Once you put the powder in you INSERT the BULLET in the case. You will pull the handle on your machine to press the bullet inside the case. Make sure it is the right depth and length or you can have problems!

 

After the bullet is in you need to CRIMP THE CASE to hold the bullet in place. This just makes the case hold the bullet so it doesn’t fall out.

 

Now you are ready to shoot your cartridge! Remember, Always practice firearms safety and have fun “punching holes”! (Shooting at paper targets.)

 

This cartridge was made by Midnight Princess who is seven years old. It is missing the primer and gunpowder.

Left by Midnight Princess and KNIGHT2000.

 

I know my synopsis is not entirely inclusive and is not for teaching, but it gives a basic idea.

 

It looks like your replica simply has a void where the primer should be. That should make it clearly obvious that it is not a live round, even to someone like me that knows very little about such things. I've seen dummy grenades before. The big hole in the bottom is a dead give away that it's not live.

 

My biggest concern was that the replica would become separated from it's bag and info sheet, (I have seen this countless times with Geocoins and TBs), and then someone would misunderstand.

 

As far as what you consider to be "dumbed down" writing. As long as it is accurate, I don't why anyone would be offended.