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Women -- caching alone?


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Without a firearm, I don't even think I would cache in the woods alone.

 

Yet you will go to work, the mall and walk down city streets without a firearm?

 

There were some statistics I read a long time ago that said people who carry weapons were much more likely to be injured by weapons than those who didn't carry them.

 

Carrying a weapon could get you killed quicker.

I didn't say that. I carry one everywhere I legally can.

 

There are statistics that can say most anything you want. Knowing how to use it isn't the same as just having one. It's not for everyone but this is a topic for another thread.

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If you carry a weapon of any kind be sure you know how to and are willing to use it. Even a can of bear spray, if you need it that is not the time to figure out how to make it work. Buy a second can and take it to the backyard for a practice spray. Remember to check the direction of the wind first. The biggest gun won't help if you have it taken away from you, because you can't make yourself shoot.

 

A further note on this:

If you have a 'lethal' weapon (firearm, knife, etc.) never take it out if you are not ready to kill if you have to. Being willing to use means being willing to use to the fullest extent of its ability. If you point a gun at someone, you should be ready to kill them. It may sound terrible, but never shoot to wound.

In a self defense situation you do not shoot to wound or kill, you shoot to stop the threat.

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There were some statistics I read a long time ago that said people who carry weapons were much more likely to be injured by weapons than those who didn't carry them.

 

Carrying a weapon could get you killed quicker.

 

personal disclosure: i do not carry firearms. i do not like them.

 

with regard to this quasi- statistic, i have to believe that too many people who don't know how to correctly use weapons carry them. carrying a weapon for which you are under-qualified is a very bad, dangerous mistake.

 

carrying a weapon with which you are both familiar and practiced is a viable choice.

 

here's a quote that was heard in my house a number of years ago: "honey? you want to see my target from the range today? the instructor said we just had to get the shots in the black area, so i put mine through the heart, except for the two i put in the middle of the head."

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Without a firearm, I don't even think I would cache in the woods alone.

 

Yet you will go to work, the mall and walk down city streets without a firearm?

I won't. I carry to work. I carry down city streets. I don't go to the mall here because they don't allow concealed carry. If I can't carry, I don't go. Simple as that. I refuse to be a helpless victim. I'm all about increasing my odds against the violent criminals that prey upon innocent people like me.

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There were some statistics I read a long time ago that said people who carry weapons were much more likely to be injured by weapons than those who didn't carry them.

 

Carrying a weapon could get you killed quicker.

 

with regard to this quasi- statistic, i have to believe that too many people who don't know how to correctly use weapons carry them. carrying a weapon for which you are under-qualified is a very bad, dangerous mistake.

 

carrying a weapon with which you are both familiar and practiced is a viable choice.

 

I agree completely. You hit the nail on the head.

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with regard to this quasi- statistic, i have to believe that too many people who don't know how to correctly use weapons carry them. carrying a weapon for which you are under-qualified is a very bad, dangerous mistake.

 

carrying a weapon with which you are both familiar and practiced is a viable choice.

 

here's a quote that was heard in my house a number of years ago: "honey? you want to see my target from the range today? the instructor said we just had to get the shots in the black area, so i put mine through the heart, except for the two i put in the middle of the head."

I totally agree that at least in my area there is not nearly enough restrictions on training. Anyone can strap a piece and go out. The training for concealed carry could be so much more.

 

I must be slow because I don't understand you quote. If you carry head/heart shots are what you should be practicing, regularly.

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I cache on my own regularly, i've never been bothered by anybody :D ,but then again I'm not the sort of person you notice I look like the back end of a bus and Im just as wide :huh::) .

 

however I am an ex army nurse and when caching I use a treking pole which can be used as an effective weapon and I know exactly were to hit to cause maximum damage so I can get away :lol: , I'm now looking for a long term geocaching buddy as two ladies are tougher than one <_<:yikes: .

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I do sometimes. I am usually not afraid, but there have been areas where that does come up for me. Like one cache near here by a homeless camp.

If I see a homeless camp, or anything else that bothers me in the least I get back in my car and head off to the next cache. I come back later with my sweetie.

 

Most of the time I am fine. I live in a state I consider to be very safe. If I lived elsewhere I'd be more worried.

 

I do carry a stun-gun sometimes. I have done an incredible amount of hiking alone in the woods and bought it for that. The only time I've ever pulled it out though was when I was walking down a city street and was being followed. After I pulled it out and looked at them threateningly they left. I was not geocaching.

 

A stun-gun is good because it's not going to kill anyone so you won't be afraid to use it. It's bad because you have to be close enough to touch them. If someone gets that close to me I'll stun them no problem.

 

Self-defense classes are great for self-assurance.

I look at a guy, and the first thing I think is, "I could take 'em" They can see your attitude in your posture.

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ok, so, like, there was this guy once, on a road near my house and when he threatened me i fixed him with a baaaaad look and said: "i want you to think carefully about how your life is going to change after you kill me. and if you start this, you're going to have to kill me."

 

he thought about it for a moment.

 

and then he ran.

 

it won't save you all the time, but attitude is important.

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Not all predators are human. I went caching by myself - once. I took our geo-dog and headed down the trail to find a new series of multi-caches. I had no idea the hike would be as long as it was, and on the last cache, in between the third and the final stage... a dead deer in the middle of the trail. We live in Mountain Lion country... and I'm pretty sure that's what created the mess. So, even with the dog in tow, and a cell phone with service... I was nervous. I got even more nervous when the dog's tail went between his legs at one point in the hike! All's well, but I hiked out (after finding the final of course) fairly quickly. I have not been hiking by myself since. Not worth taking the chance... I wait until the hubby can join me. It's way more fun caching together anyway.

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ok, so, like, there was this guy once, on a road near my house and when he threatened me i fixed him with a baaaaad look and said: "i want you to think carefully about how your life is going to change after you kill me. and if you start this, you're going to have to kill me."

 

he thought about it for a moment.

 

and then he ran.

 

it won't save you all the time, but attitude is important.

 

Had a similar thing happen. I said "If you start this, one of us will die. If you aren't intending to kill me then, well, you get the idea".

 

It ended right there.

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Not all predators are human.

 

true enough. it makes me happy to be reminded we aren't the top of the food chain.

 

the only wild animal to have threatened me was a bull moose who was expecting a female more to his liking.

 

as for domestic animals, one of two phrases works on every aggressive dog i've ever met:

 

1) who wants to go for a walk? oh boy, oh, boy, oh boy!

 

and 2 ) touch me and i'll have you put down.

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Wandrlust...wanna meet me in North Bay... :ph34r:

 

Not a bad idea...but how do I know you're not some creepy pervert guy? lol J/K

I'm in Sudbury, but would love to cache in NB and sometimes we take little weekend trips there. Maybe one day I will meet you in North Bay. :ph34r:

 

(Sorry for my slow replying...we spend most of the summer out of cell/internet range.)

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Almost all of the caching we do is either urban, park or caches in large rugged parkland near urban areas.

 

Parks we've cached in or were planning on caching in have had issues that have caused me to think about our safety including a murder in pacific spirit pack of a female jogger and a recent machete attack just outside bear creek park. Mind you, this stuff exists everywhere & overall, we live in an extremely safe city (Vancouver) but, the concerns still exist deep down.

 

I've asked my wife explicitly to NOT cache alone for this very reason, but have also agreed that drive ups in open areas are ok if she feels comfortable.

 

On the flip side, we have a double standard - between us, there are no issues with me caching solo (or with the dog) & the ones involving walks/bikes/hikes extending >a mile or so are ones i usually do solo. However, when we do, we're in communication by text/cell, she knows where i am etc.

 

The concern is more about the potential for an accident for me & not necessarily my personal safety (based on appearances, i'm the kind of person who causes people to revisit their own decisions about their safety - i'm built like an offensive lineman). For my wife, personal safety issue is the big one, potential for accidents always exist, but less so in the areas she's likely to go alone to.

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I go with my kids most of the time (ages 7 and 2). Most of the time, we are in more or less public places, but I have been spooked a couple times. I actually panicked once off of a trail where there were footprints in the mud. All kinds of things went through my mind then...is the cache placer a serial killer??? I know, I know, turn off CSI, for goodness sake! But it has made me a little more cautious when I go out. If the cache is in a secluded area, I wait for my honey to come with us.

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I go with my kids most of the time (ages 7 and 2). Most of the time, we are in more or less public places, but I have been spooked a couple times. I actually panicked once off of a trail where there were footprints in the mud. All kinds of things went through my mind then...is the cache placer a serial killer??? I know, I know, turn off CSI, for goodness sake! But it has made me a little more cautious when I go out. If the cache is in a secluded area, I wait for my honey to come with us.

 

Footprints in the mud freaked you out? Ummmm... yeah. Turn off CSI!! :ph34r:

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footprints in the mud freaked me out a couple of times.

 

footprints of bear, with fresh scat (still warm)? yeah, a little freaky.

 

footprints of some kinda cat, four and a half inches wide? yep.

 

when you're not the top of the food chain it can get freaky.

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footprints in the mud freaked me out a couple of times.

 

footprints of bear, with fresh scat (still warm)? yeah, a little freaky.

 

footprints of some kinda cat, four and a half inches wide? yep.

 

when you're not the top of the food chain it can get freaky.

 

Absolutely right, in those cases. I was responding to "is the cache placer a serial killer???" She was referring to finding human footprints in the mud on the way to a cache. That is completely normal and to be expected.

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I often cache alone in pretty remote areas. I try to tell someone where I'll be. I carry a cell phone but there's often no reception. There are unfortunately many illegals in the canyons around San Diego County, and many vagrants in its parks. I'm mindful of mountain lions as well. I've lately become a bit more circumspect about caching alone in the back country, but I love it. I have decided not to be daunted. Maybe becoming an invisible older lady gives me confidence.

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I try to tell someone where I'll be.

 

this is how it usually goes for me:

 

"i'm going out caching. i'll be back fifteen to twenty days from now. see ya."

 

i purposely do not tell anyone where i am so that the pool isn't queered. a week or so into the trip i offer prizes to whoever comes closest to guessing where i am.

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Absolutely right, in those cases. I was responding to "is the cache placer a serial killer???" She was referring to finding human footprints in the mud on the way to a cache. That is completely normal and to be expected.

 

I think we all agree that there are sometimes reasons to be afraid or cautious and that hiking alone can be more vulnerable than hiking with others. Don't forget that traciebeth humorously dismissed her fears of serial killer footsteps and murderous cache hiders with the reference to watching too much CSI. This shows that she is a basically rational person who knew that this particular fear wasn't a likely event. What is fascinating to me is that this particular fear comes up a lot in a variety of contexts.

 

"You're meeting someone from the internet for lunch? Aren't you worried that they might be a serial killer?"

 

"You're planning to travel alone to Los Angeles? Aren't you concerned about serial killers in Venice Beach? There are a lot of people with tattoos there, you know." (I decided not to ask about the tattoo/serial killer connection in that conversation.)

 

"Carolyn, We're flying to Australia next month. Can you ask Steve if we're likely to be attacked by terrorists?" (Terrorists in this context seem to be another version of the serial killer trope.)

 

"You don't carry a gun to the grocery store? Aren't you concerned about serial killers?"

 

The question, "But what about the possibility of serial killers?" seems to come up far more often than the actual danger of serial killers in the population would indicate.

 

My theory is that this is our way of personalizing fears that are often inchoate and unformed. In other words, we feel fear and we do not know why. Our mind obligingly brings up serial killers as a good metaphor for incomprehensible evil and danger. In another time or place perhaps we would be asked, "Aren't you afraid of the demons that haunt the forest?" or "Aren't you afraid of witches?"

 

For me, the task I set myself when I'm afraid is to check the rationality of that fear. I do a quick mental and visual check of the area to see if I can identify the true cause of my dread. If I can't identify it and I'm still afraid, I leave the area. More often, I find that I can quickly identify what it was that set off my fear claxon. Then I can take reasonable action.

 

Carolyn

Edited by Steve&GeoCarolyn
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Absolutely right, in those cases. I was responding to "is the cache placer a serial killer???" She was referring to finding human footprints in the mud on the way to a cache. That is completely normal and to be expected.

 

I think we all agree that there are sometimes reasons to be afraid or cautious and that hiking alone can be more vulnerable than hiking with others. Don't forget that traciebeth humorously dismissed her fears of serial killer footsteps and murderous cache hiders with the reference to watching too much CSI. This shows that she is a basically rational person who knew that this particular fear wasn't a likely event.

 

What is fascinating to me is that this particular fear comes up a lot in a variety of contexts.

 

"You're meeting someone from the internet for lunch? Aren't you worried that they might be a serial killer?"

 

"You're planning to travel alone to Los Angeles? Aren't you concerned about serial killers in Venice Beach? There are a lot of people with tattoos there, you know." (I decided not to ask about the tattoo/serial killer connection in that conversation.)

 

"Carolyn, We're flying to Australia next month. Can you ask Steve if we're likely to be attacked by terrorists?" (Terrorists in this context seem to be another version of the serial killer trope.)

 

"You don't carry a gun to the grocery store? Aren't you concerned about serial killers?"

 

The question, "But what about the possibility of serial killers?" seems to come up far more often than the actual danger of serial killers in the population would indicate.

 

My theory is that this is our way of personalizing fears that are often inchoate and unformed. In other words, we feel fear and we do not know why. Our mind obligingly brings up serial killers as a good metaphor for incomprehensible evil and danger. In another time or place perhaps we would be asked, "Aren't you afraid of the demons that haunt the forest?" or "Aren't you afraid of witches?"

 

For me, the task I set myself when I'm afraid is to check the rationality of that fear. I do a quick mental and visual check of the area to see if I can identify the true cause of my dread. If I can't identify it and I'm still afraid, I leave the area. More often, I find that I can quickly identify what it was that set off my fear claxon. Then I can take reasonable action.

 

Carolyn

 

I think I will just stick to being afraid of running into occupied spider webs and call it good.

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Ah, one of the few fears I do not have. I like spiders. I even think ticks are kind of cute.

 

Carolyn

 

Ticks? Cute?

:ph34r:

 

Is this Unkle Fester pretending to be Carolyn?

 

Does he think ticks are cute also?

 

They really are cute with their tiny little red bodies and itty-bitty spider-like legs. When we are sitting on a log by a new found cache, the ticks sometimes approach drawn by our body heat, I think. It is as if they are sly little alley cats looking for canned food and petting. Of course they are vile blood-suckers so my beloved doesn't let me play with them and he immediately leaps up when he sees them and drags us away. He hates ticks passionately and they find him irresistable. So it would probably be better overall if you didn't mention to him that I find them kind of cute.

 

Carolyn

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Ah, one of the few fears I do not have. I like spiders. I even think ticks are kind of cute.

 

Carolyn

 

Ticks? Cute?

:ph34r:

 

Is this Unkle Fester pretending to be Carolyn?

 

Does he think ticks are cute also?

 

They really are cute with their tiny little red bodies and itty-bitty spider-like legs. When we are sitting on a log by a new found cache, the ticks sometimes approach drawn by our body heat, I think. It is as if they are sly little alley cats looking for canned food and petting. Of course they are vile blood-suckers so my beloved doesn't let me play with them and he immediately leaps up when he sees them and drags us away. He hates ticks passionately and they find him irresistable. So it would probably be better overall if you didn't mention to him that I find them kind of cute.

 

Carolyn

I don't know if he thinks they are cute or not but it seem like a Fester-like thing to think ticks are cute.

Next time I bump into your mate I won't tell him about your love for ticks. It can be a dirty little secret.

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I don't know if he thinks they are cute or not but it seem like a Fester-like thing to think ticks are cute.

Next time I bump into your mate I won't tell him about your love for ticks. It can be a dirty little secret.

 

Hmmm. Perhaps we should change our name to Steve&GeoMorticia?

 

Morticia

:ph34r:

Edited by Steve&GeoCarolyn
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I do carry a stun-gun sometimes. I have done an incredible amount of hiking alone in the woods and bought it for that. The only time I've ever pulled it out though was when I was walking down a city street and was being followed. After I pulled it out and looked at them threateningly they left. I was not geocaching.

My wife had a stun gun before she started carrying a firearm. Afterward we let a friend use it. I had two friends sitting here and the one was zapping the other to see how long he could handle it. It was comical. He could stand it for about 10-15 seconds before it was too much. He wouldn't let anyone zap him on his nipples though. :ph34r: He must have got zapped about 20 times that night.

 

If my wife would have tried to use that it would have just irritated the perp that much more. If you're going to use one make sure it is not cheap. You want the ones that crack very loud when you turn them on.

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This subject comes up with some regularity and I wanted to repost some information from Mule Ears from a previous thread:

 

Anyhow, an excellent read on the subject of avoiding trouble while living life is The Gift of Fear (Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence). The irony of the title is that, if you follow the author's recommendations to trust your instincts, you'll experience less fear and anxiety. It's OK to be open, trusting, generous and compassionate, but when a person or situation makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise, it's time to pay attention. And maybe get out of Dodge. The advice is gender-neutral.

 

I'm a good-sized, fit alpha male who has no experience in hand-to-hand combat since my formative years. If a potential aggressor wants to compete in track-and-field, I've got him beat. Otherwise, I'm better off listening to my gut and giving trouble a wide berth. If it's unavoidable, I'm all in. But most trouble is supremely avoidable.

 

I, also, highly recommend this book - it has some great information about listening to your instincts and not talking yourself out of it just because you're afraid of being ridiculed about it.

 

I typically hike alone and really enjoy it. Sometimes I run into other people on the trail and sometimes I never see another soul. 99.9% of the time I just exchange pleasantries with whomever I might meet and then go about my business. However, there is that 0.1% of the time. Recently I was on a hike - hadn't seen anyone and was heading back to my car. I was climbing over a downed tree on the trail when I looked up to see someone on the connecting trail. He was very polite but my fear instinct kicked in almost immediately. Believe it or not, I think it was because he was too polite. He kept apologizing for startling me. The last time someone apologized that much to me, they were up to no good. This might sound as weird to some as getting freaked out by footprints in the mud but I've learned to listen to my gut and I don't really care if others think it's ridiculous. I'll never know if my instinct was correct or not about this guy - I have no way of proving anything and while I don't think he was a serial killer, I do believe he was probably up to no good. What I'm trying to say in my long winded fashion is - listen to your gut and don't shrug it off just because someone else might laugh at you about it.

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I, also, highly recommend this book - it has some great information about listening to your instincts and not talking yourself out of it just because you're afraid of being ridiculed about it.

 

<snip>

 

What I'm trying to say in my long winded fashion is - listen to your gut and don't shrug it off just because someone else might laugh at you about it.

 

That's great advice and I agree with your book recommendation. It's a wonderful book. It completely changed how I react to my fear. I don't try to rationalize my way out of fear anymore. Instead I use my rationality to figure out what I'm afraid of and if I can't identify the cause, I assume my unconscious knows something I don't and I leave the area. I trust myself more these days and as Mule Ears said, I experience less fear and anxiety on a daily basis.

 

Carolyn

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What is it about our society that pre-conceives women as mostly helpless victims?

I have met plenty of women I would not want to tangle with even if I WAS armed, and they were not!

 

It's not just a silly preconcieved stereotype. It comes from facts. Many of us ladies are smaller and lighter than our male counterparts.

The fact is that I'm 5'2 and 105 lbs. Being on the smaller end of ladies, I am weaker than a man and I'm much more "portable" than a man. Since I don't have weight and strength on my side, I have to have caution and knowledge on my side.

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What is it about our society that pre-conceives women as mostly helpless victims?

I have met plenty of women I would not want to tangle with even if I WAS armed, and they were not!

 

It's not just a silly preconcieved stereotype. It comes from facts. Many of us ladies are smaller and lighter than our male counterparts.

The fact is that I'm 5'2 and 105 lbs. Being on the smaller end of ladies, I am weaker than a man and I'm much more "portable" than a man. Since I don't have weight and strength on my side, I have to have caution and knowledge on my side.

 

At the risk of offending you, would you say that a 5'2" 105lb male is less portable than a 5'10" 165lb female?

 

On the "average" there are more portable/helpless women than men but the stereotype of women being helpless overall is absolutely ridiculous.

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What is it about our society that pre-conceives women as mostly helpless victims?

I have met plenty of women I would not want to tangle with even if I WAS armed, and they were not!

 

It's not just a silly preconcieved stereotype. It comes from facts. Many of us ladies are smaller and lighter than our male counterparts.

The fact is that I'm 5'2 and 105 lbs. Being on the smaller end of ladies, I am weaker than a man and I'm much more "portable" than a man. Since I don't have weight and strength on my side, I have to have caution and knowledge on my side.

 

Who here is a superman? I'm more than happy to read and offer suggestions on how to protect myself. The fact is that a lone woman is more likely to be targeted than a lone man. Gain knowledge, gain strength, be smart.

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I usually don't cache alone, but this past Sunday I did. And I was FREAKED OUT. I went to a Florida scrub area, this is new to me and seems to be an area with native FL plants and trails. The spot I chose to enter was down in a business-y area (but it was a Sunday so it was devoid of ppl) and for some reason, there was a semi truck and trucker idling there. He seemed really out of place.

 

I got all my stuff gathered, including my GeoDog, and headed for the path anyway. I called my husband ASAP and told him I was a bit freaked out and he stayed on the phone with me the entire time. I figured if anything happened, he would be able to send out the cavalry as soon as it did happen. He asked what the license plate was. I didn't know. He asked what the truck looked like. I didn't know. He asked what the trucker looked like. I didn't know!

 

I kept my husband on the phone in one hand, had the GPSr in the other hand, had the leash for the GeoDog and also had a backpack and a notebook. I thought I was gonna die for sure! But at the entrance it was like: get the cache and possibly get killed or leave. I risked death, baby! That's how devoted I am to this 'sport. :anicute:

 

Well, really... we should only go where we feel safe. I was really glad to be done with the cache even though it was a cool area.

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I usually don't cache alone, but this past Sunday I did. And I was FREAKED OUT. I went to a Florida scrub area, this is new to me and seems to be an area with native FL plants and trails. The spot I chose to enter was down in a business-y area (but it was a Sunday so it was devoid of ppl) and for some reason, there was a semi truck and trucker idling there. He seemed really out of place.

 

I got all my stuff gathered, including my GeoDog, and headed for the path anyway. I called my husband ASAP and told him I was a bit freaked out and he stayed on the phone with me the entire time. I figured if anything happened, he would be able to send out the cavalry as soon as it did happen. He asked what the license plate was. I didn't know. He asked what the truck looked like. I didn't know. He asked what the trucker looked like. I didn't know!

 

I kept my husband on the phone in one hand, had the GPSr in the other hand, had the leash for the GeoDog and also had a backpack and a notebook. I thought I was gonna die for sure! But at the entrance it was like: get the cache and possibly get killed or leave. I risked death, baby! That's how devoted I am to this 'sport. :anicute:

 

Well, really... we should only go where we feel safe. I was really glad to be done with the cache even though it was a cool area.

 

Yeah, I can see how you can sense that you were in danger.

 

After all, its a well known fact that most all semi truck drivers are serial killers....

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Wow, and I thought you were funny in an earlier post. Whatever. As a woman, we are very aware when we are alone. He happened to be a truck driver. He could've been a dude in a car. I do feel badly that I am suspicious of any man when I am alone because I'm quite sure that 95% probably wouldn't hurt me, but there are a few that will. And it was an isolated spot. This is how we women live, you wouldn't know what it's like to live with this kind of fear. Lucky you.

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Wow, and I thought you were funny in an earlier post. Whatever. As a woman, we are very aware when we are alone. He happened to be a truck driver. He could've been a dude in a car. I do feel badly that I am suspicious of any man when I am alone because I'm quite sure that 95% probably wouldn't hurt me, but there are a few that will. And it was an isolated spot. This is how we women live, you wouldn't know what it's like to live with this kind of fear. Lucky you.

 

this just makes me cringe.

 

are you watching too much TV?

 

i hike alone, i cache alone, i take road trips alone, i ski alone, i ride alone...

 

you get the picture."we" women are not all precious little shrinking flowers and we do not all live in fear.

 

i have been stalked. i have been threatened. i have a very good sense of who's just sharing the road and who means to do harm.

 

i do not hesitate to go into homeless encampments. i talk to strangers. i pick up hitchhikers.

 

i am not afraid.

 

here's an excerpt from a log i wrote once:

 

so i'm standing there dumbly admiring the view when this little guy on a bicycle comes tearing up to me and he's talking really fast, which would be fine, except IL FAUT ME PARLER SIMPLEMENT ET LENTEMENT. my french just ain't that good.

 

it becomes apparent with some effort that what the guy wants to know is if i have a spare inner tube for his bike. and i happen to have one, and tire levers and a pump. he gives me $7 canadian for the tube, which i don't know if it's a fair deal or not, because i don't know what they cost in US currency. so he's grateful, anyway, and he asks me if i want to see his view. and i figure what the heck, i'm living dangerously, and maybe it's not a smart idea for me to go, but i do.

 

and he takes me up the road and we turn onto a little illegal mountain bike trail that comes out WAY ABOVE my little car and all the teeny little people below and it's this beautiful blue day and it's about 4 in the afternoon and the light falls differently in montreal because it's just far enough north to make a real difference and i feel as if the bottom of my soul has dropped out and i'm standing there unable to say anything but wow.

 

and then the church bells started to ring. i swear, this really happened. not regular tolling of the hours, either, but real old-fashioned somber and jubilant carillon like you almost never hear anymore.

 

and the guy offers to show me wheere the trail comes out, down the hill and it's exilharating, the ride down on real mountain bike trails right there in the city andd we coem out at the monument, which means then i have to ride all the way back up, only i don't really know the way and now i begin to notice how close and penned in the trail is between the fence of the cemetery and the fence of the road. and i'm looking for an escape route when i begin to notice the number of men there are out there who appear to be seeking the attention of other men.

 

i feel very alone and vulnerable, a little middle aged foreign woman on an illegal bike trail with no ID or cell phone. and i can't find a break in the fence until i get very close to the top, in the cemetery just below that VIEW. and i'm standing there again and i think that if i die now i will at least have seen this and i'm toying with the idea of standing and weeping, but instead i go off to find another cache.

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i cache alone in both urban and remote locations. i sleep in my car, and i stay out for upwards of twenty days without bothering to leave my travel plans with anyone, because i do not have plans.

 

i often hunt caches at homeless encampments. i do this on purpose; never you mind why.

 

i don't carry pepper spray because i never know if i'll be going into canada and it gets expensive turning those over at customs every time you pass through. granted, you can reclaim it if you come back in at the same port, but i often re-enter elsewhere.

 

the last time a guy offered to kill me i sent him packing with a bad look and a few sharp words.

 

i've been struck by lightning, run over, threatened, stalked, and nearly froze to death once. when my number comes up, it comes up. in the meantime, i'm playing games.

 

i am not afraid.

 

I remembered your post from another thread of this nature Flask and was hoping you'd see this and comment. Yet another great post but you forgot to say that you are tougher than boiled owl. That was one of my all time favorite quotes from this forum.

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i feel very alone and vulnerable, a little middle aged foreign woman on an illegal bike trail with no ID or cell phone. and i can't find a break in the fence until i get very close to the top, in the cemetery just below that VIEW. and i'm standing there again and i think that if i die now i will at least have seen this and i'm toying with the idea of standing and weeping, but instead i go off to find another cache.

 

Beautifully written, flask. Thank you for sharing it.

 

For what it's worth, I'm a big scaredy-cat. I'm afraid of heights, caves, snakes (shudder), car doors, snow, the possibility that trees may fly through the air and hit our house, elevators, stairs, and pretty much any topic my over-active imagination gets ahold of. As far as people go, I suppose that I'm afraid of a few men, groups of children, a surprisingly large number of women, and dentists.

 

What I don't do is let my fears overwhelm my life and deny me life's pleasures or keep me from life's necessities. I visit my dentist. I deal with the people I encounter as best I can (male and female). I hike alone. I venture into areas with snakes, heights, and snow. I've done tech rock climbing and rappelling.

 

I deal with situations when my danger sense sings out. (This is a different voice than the feeling that all elevators are dangerous.) I make the best choice for the moment I'm in.

 

I don't think it makes sense to act on a generalized fear of all men or all snakes or all dentists. It makes sense to me to assess the situation I'm in at the moment I'm in it and act accordingly.

 

Carolyn

Edited by Steve&GeoCarolyn
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Wow, and I thought you were funny in an earlier post. Whatever. As a woman, we are very aware when we are alone. He happened to be a truck driver. He could've been a dude in a car. I do feel badly that I am suspicious of any man when I am alone because I'm quite sure that 95% probably wouldn't hurt me, but there are a few that will. And it was an isolated spot. This is how we women live, you wouldn't know what it's like to live with this kind of fear. Lucky you.

 

this just makes me cringe.

 

are you watching too much TV?

 

i hike alone, i cache alone, i take road trips alone, i ski alone, i ride alone...

 

you get the picture."we" women are not all precious little shrinking flowers and we do not all live in fear.

 

i have been stalked. i have been threatened. i have a very good sense of who's just sharing the road and who means to do harm.

 

i do not hesitate to go into homeless encampments. i talk to strangers. i pick up hitchhikers.

 

i am not afraid.

 

here's an excerpt from a log i wrote once:

 

so i'm standing there dumbly admiring the view when this little guy on a bicycle comes tearing up to me and he's talking really fast, which would be fine, except IL FAUT ME PARLER SIMPLEMENT ET LENTEMENT. my french just ain't that good.

 

it becomes apparent with some effort that what the guy wants to know is if i have a spare inner tube for his bike. and i happen to have one, and tire levers and a pump. he gives me $7 canadian for the tube, which i don't know if it's a fair deal or not, because i don't know what they cost in US currency. so he's grateful, anyway, and he asks me if i want to see his view. and i figure what the heck, i'm living dangerously, and maybe it's not a smart idea for me to go, but i do.

 

and he takes me up the road and we turn onto a little illegal mountain bike trail that comes out WAY ABOVE my little car and all the teeny little people below and it's this beautiful blue day and it's about 4 in the afternoon and the light falls differently in montreal because it's just far enough north to make a real difference and i feel as if the bottom of my soul has dropped out and i'm standing there unable to say anything but wow.

 

and then the church bells started to ring. i swear, this really happened. not regular tolling of the hours, either, but real old-fashioned somber and jubilant carillon like you almost never hear anymore.

 

and the guy offers to show me wheere the trail comes out, down the hill and it's exilharating, the ride down on real mountain bike trails right there in the city andd we coem out at the monument, which means then i have to ride all the way back up, only i don't really know the way and now i begin to notice how close and penned in the trail is between the fence of the cemetery and the fence of the road. and i'm looking for an escape route when i begin to notice the number of men there are out there who appear to be seeking the attention of other men.

 

i feel very alone and vulnerable, a little middle aged foreign woman on an illegal bike trail with no ID or cell phone. and i can't find a break in the fence until i get very close to the top, in the cemetery just below that VIEW. and i'm standing there again and i think that if i die now i will at least have seen this and i'm toying with the idea of standing and weeping, but instead i go off to find another cache.

 

Silly Flask. Can't just let a person make a comment, can you? You have to pick on them all the time. Here's an idea. Why don't you come down to Flori-DUH and go shopping at the Boca Murder Mall. Well, that's what I call it anyway. Because you see, there's a serial killer that likes to pick off single women in the parking lot in the middle of the day. Take your chances, Flask. You are apparently invincible unlike the rest of us shrinking violets which must be a euphemism for "socially aware". And actually I don't even own a TV. Oh, and your friendly attitude belies why you have to do everything alone.

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Why don't you come down to Flori-DUH and go shopping at the Boca Murder Mall. Well, that's what I call it anyway. Because you see, there's a serial killer that likes to pick off single women in the parking lot in the middle of the day.

 

Wouldn't it be more sensible to hike alone than shop alone in your area?

 

Here in Memphis we have enough violent crime that we're in the top 5. (Every city has to be good at something, right?) There are places I don't go and places I won't cache. Most of those places are urban. I feel quite a bit safer in the woods.

 

Carolyn

 

Updated to add: It's not a girly thing. Those places are dangerous for both genders and my beloved won't go there either. He's even more cautious than I am.

Edited by Steve&GeoCarolyn
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Wow, and I thought you were funny in an earlier post. Whatever. As a woman, we are very aware when we are alone. He happened to be a truck driver. He could've been a dude in a car. I do feel badly that I am suspicious of any man when I am alone because I'm quite sure that 95% probably wouldn't hurt me, but there are a few that will. And it was an isolated spot. This is how we women live, you wouldn't know what it's like to live with this kind of fear. Lucky you.

 

I apologize if my sarcastic comment bothered you.

Your idea that 5% of men would hurt you is just not even realistic. I would bet money that for every "dangerous man" out there that there are 10,000 who aren't dangerous at all.

 

One thing you have to remember. The news doesn't report all the good people in the world. Thats not "news". They report bad things. You only hear that people are bad and not that they are good. I can assure you that most people are either good or, at the very least, not dangerous.

 

And, as far as truckers go, they are typically good people. I would NEVER be afraid of a truck driver idling. He's just idling to keep his AC or heat on. In fact, I would be willing to bet that the truck drivers are a little scared when they have to idle all by themselves in the middle of nowhere and someone walks up.

 

I have been around truck drivers all my life. My dad was a truck driver and my former father in law is a truck driver. They are good peeps, as a whole.

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Wow, and I thought you were funny in an earlier post. Whatever. As a woman, we are very aware when we are alone. He happened to be a truck driver. He could've been a dude in a car. I do feel badly that I am suspicious of any man when I am alone because I'm quite sure that 95% probably wouldn't hurt me, but there are a few that will. And it was an isolated spot. This is how we women live, you wouldn't know what it's like to live with this kind of fear. Lucky you.

 

I apologize if my sarcastic comment bothered you.

Your idea that 5% of men would hurt you is just not even realistic. I would bet money that for every "dangerous man" out there that there are 10,000 who aren't dangerous at all.

 

One thing you have to remember. The news doesn't report all the good people in the world. Thats not "news". They report bad things. You only hear that people are bad and not that they are good. I can assure you that most people are either good or, at the very least, not dangerous.

 

And, as far as truckers go, they are typically good people. I would NEVER be afraid of a truck driver idling. He's just idling to keep his AC or heat on. In fact, I would be willing to bet that the truck drivers are a little scared when they have to idle all by themselves in the middle of nowhere and someone walks up.

 

I have been around truck drivers all my life. My dad was a truck driver and my former father in law is a truck driver. They are good peeps, as a whole.

 

Hey, like I said, it could've been a dude in a car, a dude on a bike, or a dude on a rocking horse. It just happened to be a trucker and he was in a place where no one should've been on a Sunday - unless he was geocaching (which did cross my mind). I'm sure he wasn't waiting there hoping some sweet young geocacher, or me, would come along at that exact moment, but some of us feel vulnerable in such isolated situations. And I'm pretty sure there are more of these types of crimes perpetrated against women than men which is why some of us get nervous in these situations. And GeoBeagle would've been no help if I were gettin' killed! She's kind of a wuss. :anicute: No offense to truckers was intended.

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Silly Flask. Can't just let a person make a comment, can you? You have to pick on them all the time. Here's an idea. Why don't you come down to Flori-DUH and go shopping at the Boca Murder Mall. Well, that's what I call it anyway. Because you see, there's a serial killer that likes to pick off single women in the parking lot in the middle of the day. Take your chances, Flask. You are apparently invincible unlike the rest of us shrinking violets which must be a euphemism for "socially aware". And actually I don't even own a TV. Oh, and your friendly attitude belies why you have to do everything alone.

 

i don't have to pick on every comment; just ones that are absurd.

 

for starters, i have been to flori-DUH (how aptly you name it) and if i never have to go back to that hideous place for the rest of my life, i will die happy.

 

if you have one serial killer that picks off women in a mall parking lot, you are much safer caching in the woods. the likelihood of there being two serial killers in an area is very low.

 

as for your personal insults, i don't have to do everything alone. i am satisfied with the number and quality of my friends and sometimes i go with them. i end up alone most of the time because typically i have fewer obligations than my friends and can go out to play when they can't. i might have the time to go an 20-day caching trips, but none of my friends do. likewise, when i go for my afternoon bike ride, crashco (my primary cycling friend) is at work.

 

i also enjoy the solitude. when one is out with others it can be awkward, for instance, to stop for prayer.

 

i am not "socially unaware"; i know that there are dangers out there an i know that dangers have come to me and will continue to come to me. i know enough to watch for them and i know enough to be smart about them.

 

sounds to me like you know the MO of your serial killer and you might could take proper precautions and yet not have that drama overtake your life. "we" women do not need to live in a permanent state of panic over our vulnerability.

 

you don't have to, either.

 

you apparently enjoy your role as fragile would-be victim, lording it over men...

 

This is how we women live, you wouldn't know what it's like to live with this kind of fear. Lucky you.

 

...and resentful of women who deny your claim to specialness on the basis of paralyzing vulnerability.

 

 

you can choose to live your life withdrawn in fear, or you can live.

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I spent so much time in the woods as a kid that I don't mind going it alone if I have to. But on the other hand I don't really like going by myself. I would rather share it with someone and luckily my one of my kids will go with me since they all like caching as much as I do. My hubby likes it but can't walk as well anymore due to a disability. He doesn't mind me going by myself but also knows that I would rather take someone with me. I want to share the fun time with someone if I can. Even one of the grandkids will go with me and they are just 5 and 3. They love their "treasure hunting".

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