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Women -- caching alone?


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I love to go caching with my hubby and kids, but they don't want to go as often as I do. Lots of times, the best opportunity for me to go is when I'm by myself. Now, I'm not usually a paranoid girl...I have no problem traveling alone, being alone at home day or night, etc. However, there have been a few times when when I've headed down a trail into the middle of nowhere and suddenly become aware at how vulnerable I am and how no one even knows where I am. Perhaps I watch a bit too much true crime. :) Sometimes it's convenient for me to take one of my largish dogs with me, but frequently it's not. Where I live, quite a lot of the caches are hidden in secluded areas.

 

Any other women (or men, I suppose :unsure: ) that ever get a bit spooked? Or think twice about the wisdom of heading down that path alone?

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If I didn't live in one of the most restrictive areas for concealed weapons I'd have a hand-gun in my caching kit.

 

Maybe I should get some mace.

 

So far I haven't run into any bad situations or seen anyone who made me worry, but only time will tell.

 

(Edit: Not a women, just wanted to comment.)

Edited by Arrow42
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I love to go caching with my hubby and kids, but they don't want to go as often as I do. Lots of times, the best opportunity for me to go is when I'm by myself. Now, I'm not usually a paranoid girl...I have no problem traveling alone, being alone at home day or night, etc. However, there have been a few times when when I've headed down a trail into the middle of nowhere and suddenly become aware at how vulnerable I am and how no one even knows where I am. Perhaps I watch a bit too much true crime. :) Sometimes it's convenient for me to take one of my largish dogs with me, but frequently it's not. Where I live, quite a lot of the caches are hidden in secluded areas.

 

Any other women (or men, I suppose :unsure: ) that ever get a bit spooked? Or think twice about the wisdom of heading down that path alone?

Every once in a while I get this feeling, but it is usually in urban areas rather than out in the wilderness. The middle aged fair skinned male is not always welcome in certain areas.

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I'll cache alone. Like you I found myself in the middle of nowhere wondering what I would do if something happened. To that end I got a cell phone to make a call if I have an emergency (assuming I'm in an area where I can get service)and I got bear spray (just in case). It's always a good idea to tell someone exactly where you'll be so if you don't return they'll know where to search. My best defense has always been to leave or not go into an area if I feel uncomfortable or have the slightest inkling from my gut/conscience telling me maybe it's not a good idea or maybe not safe. My senses are usually in a heightened state and I'm aware of everything around me, hopefully before what is around me is aware of me. I also carry a big walking stick.

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I can't speak for caching as a woman but I certainly know a little about being conspicuous/vulnerable in areas where I've worked. Others have mentioned firearms but I found that a little pepper spray was just the trick when set on by dogs or other animals and felt like it would take care of a threatening person (tried it on myself and it was debilitating for long enough for whoever theoretically was trying to escape could have easily). I carry the pepper spray in my pack's hip pocket and feel quite secure with it.

 

I found that the biggest thing to mitigate any bad problems was to just think about the situation and if I felt like it was an unreasonable risk to go to a certain spot, I would just not go.

 

Good luck in whatever you decide :unsure: Feeling safe and empowered is really important and quite liberating. If you go the pepper spray route, make sure you know how to use it (try it out, not into the wind so that you know where it will go and the power with which it will spray) and also how to get to it quickly. It won't do you much good tucked away in your pack so I recommend a special pocket for it or even a clip on type thing. They're built to not go off accidentally and with a few years of carrying spray in my pocket daily whenever I was not sleeping, I never had it go off accidentally in my pocket. Again, good luck!

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I primarily cache with my beloved because we do almost everything together. However, when I drive him to an academic conference and am left alone as he goes to his academic events, I hike by myself. Also, I sometimes hike by myself when I need to get my head wrapped around a difficult issue.

 

For the most part I feel far more threatened in the city alone than I do in the woods or mountains. My sense is that most danger comes from other people and the number of people I've eliminated by being in wild places means that statistically I've reduced my danger.

 

Like Luckless said, if my danger sense is tingling, I find my way out of there. There is no reward at the end of the line for turning off my danger sense and since I'm hiking for pleasure, I go where I don't have to fight with my paranoia every step of the way.

 

Carolyn

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I'm sure we all get spooked from time to time, whether we are male or female. The key is that if things don't feel right, turn around.

 

That said thousands of people cache, hike and do other things solo and the instances of bad things happening are so rare that they make the news. We see that stuff and it sticks in our minds. Nevermind that millions of people venture out solo every year, male and female alike, without a problem.

 

Statistically speaking you are probably in more danger driving to the trailhead than from anything you will encounter on the trail.

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I am a firm believer of listening to your instincts. I will never know if I left because something was "off" and would have gone wrong or if I'm a wimp. I do know nothing terrible has happened to me and I've been to a lot of places alone.

 

If you carry a weapon of any kind be sure you know how to and are willing to use it. Even a can of bear spray, if you need it that is not the time to figure out how to make it work. Buy a second can and take it to the backyard for a practice spray. Remember to check the direction of the wind first. The biggest gun won't help if you have it taken away from you, because you can't make yourself shoot.

 

Let someone know where you are going and when you should be back. Continually evaluate your situation and surroundings. Have a plan and a back up plan for when things go wrong. Get out of the house and enjoy yourself.

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I am a firm believer of listening to your instincts. I will never know if I left because something was "off" and would have gone wrong or if I'm a wimp. I do know nothing terrible has happened to me and I've been to a lot of places alone.

 

If you carry a weapon of any kind be sure you know how to and are willing to use it. Even a can of bear spray, if you need it that is not the time to figure out how to make it work. Buy a second can and take it to the backyard for a practice spray. Remember to check the direction of the wind first. The biggest gun won't help if you have it taken away from you, because you can't make yourself shoot.

 

Let someone know where you are going and when you should be back. Continually evaluate your situation and surroundings. Have a plan and a back up plan for when things go wrong. Get out of the house and enjoy yourself.

Excellent advice. A tool is of no use if you are unable or unwilling to use it.

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I'm sure we all get spooked from time to time, whether we are male or female. The key is that if things don't feel right, turn around.

 

That said thousands of people cache, hike and do other things solo and the instances of bad things happening are so rare that they make the news. We see that stuff and it sticks in our minds. Nevermind that millions of people venture out solo every year, male and female alike, without a problem.

 

Statistically speaking you are probably in more danger driving to the trailhead than from anything you will encounter on the trail.

 

Heh this is almost certainly true :unsure: Though statistics says I'm safer on the plane than driving to the airport, I can't shake the feeling that physics is going to look up any minute and say "hey what do you think you're doing up there!?"

 

It's a very good point though that incidents are extremely isolated (at least in the U.S.) and that if you get spooked, like many have said, turn around. It probably won't be fun searching scared and fun's what this game's all about!

 

That being said, while being in the middle of nowhere decreases the chances of human contact, it certainly multiplies the dangers of something going wrong. As others have said (and I just repeat because I don't want to just say "heh" to briansnat's comment) be aware, be prepared, listen to your instincts :)

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I did the Nebraska 93 County Challenge, mostly alone. Not even a cell phone. I'm not saying it was particularly smart - there were a few times I was kicking myself for being stupid - but I survived it. Just be aware of your surroundings, and get out if you don't feel safe.

 

Though the cell phone would have been real nice!

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Personally, I reccomend people have some form of defense with them at all times, especially when out alone. I agree with the earlier statement about being able and willing to use whatever you choose. I know how my reaction will go. I learned the answer to "would I actualy do it?" while in the army. Even out in the woods, I strongly suggest women have some form of protection, even if it's just a sharp stick.

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Often, I cache Alone as just the Lioness, the Milkman stayes at home or is on the road touring with his band, so I have quite often felt the danger sense go off. I am always looking all around me and watching my enviornment change so I am not surprised by something/someone. I don't carry a weapon but I am a fast runner and rely on that. I have good hiding and climbing skills and have no problems screaming if need be.

 

I understand the 'woman caching alone' thing more than most, but I always tell at least 3-4 people where I am headed before I go out. Even while I am out, I sms updates if My route changes. I always have my Phone in my pocket and sometimes a stick or something hurty-when-hit-with in the other hand.

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However, there have been a few times when when I've headed down a trail into the middle of nowhere and suddenly become aware at how vulnerable I am and how no one even knows where I am.

Geocaching made my wife and I more aware of safety. How can I protect my family when we are secluded and may or may not have mobile phone coverage? It changed the way we thought about things. The scenario you described is a bit sobering if anyone stops to think about it.

 

I wouldn't let my wife go. I like her too much.

 

Another cacher and I were out on a trail on a state park. A pretty good hike from where people are. Along comes this newer woman cacher by herself. I did not know she was a cacher but i was aware that someone was nearing our location. (I was trying to stay aware of my surroundings.) I actually didn't know she was by herself until she came closer. Eventually she got closer and here was this younger woman alone on a trail. I didn't even know her and I was uncomfortable (for her).

 

I don't know what is available for self defense in your area but I would recommend checking into it. Out local police used to offer self defense classes for the ladies. I should have my wife take that...

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Any other women (or men, I suppose :drama: ) that ever get a bit spooked? Or think twice about the wisdom of heading down that path alone?

 

Yep, and it's kept me away from caching for a bit. I ended up getting my ccw and now I feel a little better about heading out alone.

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Thinking back to this I see where we addressed one aspect of safe solo caching – that of attack by a predator (human or animal). I would like to add that to be safe one should look deeper.

 

1. Identify what all could go wrong, break it down into categories. i.e. Vehicle breakdown, weather, poisonous plants, dangerous animals, terrain, personal fitness and physical limitations.

 

2. Determine what you can do to minimize the dangers of each category. i.e. vehicle – check the antifreeze, oil (level and last change), tires (tread and proper inflation); breaks, warning lights, etc.

 

3. Minimize the effects that, if despite your preventions, the danger does occur. i.e. vehicle inoperability – check fuel level, 2nd set of car keys, cell phone to call for help, jack to change a tire, jumper cables, blanket, food, water – if stranded in the car,

 

If you look at each possible risk and create a plan to prevent it from happening and a plan of what to do if it does happen you will avoid most troubles and be prepared to deal with the rest. Much of this is especially important when traveling to places you are unfamiliar with. Different plants, animals, terrain, and weather; plus your support system is not as readily available when close to home.

 

And yes all you Army guys and gals I am talking about doing a Risk Assessment prior to geocaching.

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I wouldn't let my wife go. I like her too much.

 

We are very close and do nearly everything together, but I think that if my beloved had refused to allow me to occasionally hike alone or travel alone it is likely that our relationship would have ended long ago. There is something about hiking alone that allows me to relax and think through things with clarity that I don't get from anything else. It has been those times when things were hardest for us that I hiked alone. I always emerged with a new understanding and calm. My calm understanding removed barriers between us. Solo hiking has been a safety valve that reduced the volatility in my relationship and helped me separate the inconsequential from the important.

 

I am not telling you that your relationship should work as mine does. I think we are all best when we choose our own paths. But I do think that the idea of forbidding people to be alone is something that should not be widely promoted.

 

Thinking back to this I see where we addressed one aspect of safe solo caching – that of attack by a predator (human or animal). I would like to add that to be safe one should look deeper.

 

1. Identify what all could go wrong, break it down into categories. i.e. Vehicle breakdown, weather, poisonous plants, dangerous animals, terrain, personal fitness and physical limitations.

 

2. Determine what you can do to minimize the dangers of each category. i.e. vehicle – check the antifreeze, oil (level and last change), tires (tread and proper inflation); breaks, warning lights, etc.

 

3. Minimize the effects that, if despite your preventions, the danger does occur. i.e. vehicle inoperability – check fuel level, 2nd set of car keys, cell phone to call for help, jack to change a tire, jumper cables, blanket, food, water – if stranded in the car,

 

If you look at each possible risk and create a plan to prevent it from happening and a plan of what to do if it does happen you will avoid most troubles and be prepared to deal with the rest. Much of this is especially important when traveling to places you are unfamiliar with. Different plants, animals, terrain, and weather; plus your support system is not as readily available when close to home.

 

And yes all you Army guys and gals I am talking about doing a Risk Assessment prior to geocaching.

 

This is such excellent advice! I was trying to figure out how to say be prepared but couldn't make the words come out. You've done far better than I could have. The only thing I would add is to plan trips well-within one's capacity. Solo trips are not the time to challenge one's physical abilities.

 

Carolyn

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I am not telling you that your relationship should work as mine does. I think we are all best when we choose our own paths. But I do think that the idea of forbidding people to be alone is something that should not be widely promoted.

 

I agree. My wife and I enjoy hiking, but there are times that for some reason one of us can't go. Neither of us would dream of "forbidding" the other from getting out and enjoying the outdoors just because one can't go.

 

My wife also has a very high stress job and sometimes she needs to get out to clear her head and will stop on the way home from work for a quick hike of a few miles (she keeps extra hiking boots and pants in her car for this). There have been times I've driven past the trailhead and noticed her car there (one of her favorite hikes is also on my way home from work) and I had no qualms whatsoever about her being out there alone. I'd be more worried if she was going to the shopping mall by herself. I read of women being abducted from malls far, far more frequently than I read of anyone being harmed on the trail.

Edited by briansnat
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I wouldn't let my wife go. I like her too much.

 

We are very close and do nearly everything together, but I think that if my beloved had refused to allow me to occasionally hike alone or travel alone it is likely that our relationship would have ended long ago. There is something about hiking alone that allows me to relax and think through things with clarity that I don't get from anything else. It has been those times when things were hardest for us that I hiked alone. I always emerged with a new understanding and calm. My calm understanding removed barriers between us. Solo hiking has been a safety valve that reduced the volatility in my relationship and helped me separate the inconsequential from the important.

 

I am not telling you that your relationship should work as mine does. I think we are all best when we choose our own paths. But I do think that the idea of forbidding people to be alone is something that should not be widely promoted.

 

Thinking back to this I see where we addressed one aspect of safe solo caching – that of attack by a predator (human or animal). I would like to add that to be safe one should look deeper.

 

1. Identify what all could go wrong, break it down into categories. i.e. Vehicle breakdown, weather, poisonous plants, dangerous animals, terrain, personal fitness and physical limitations.

 

2. Determine what you can do to minimize the dangers of each category. i.e. vehicle – check the antifreeze, oil (level and last change), tires (tread and proper inflation); breaks, warning lights, etc.

 

3. Minimize the effects that, if despite your preventions, the danger does occur. i.e. vehicle inoperability – check fuel level, 2nd set of car keys, cell phone to call for help, jack to change a tire, jumper cables, blanket, food, water – if stranded in the car,

 

If you look at each possible risk and create a plan to prevent it from happening and a plan of what to do if it does happen you will avoid most troubles and be prepared to deal with the rest. Much of this is especially important when traveling to places you are unfamiliar with. Different plants, animals, terrain, and weather; plus your support system is not as readily available when close to home.

 

And yes all you Army guys and gals I am talking about doing a Risk Assessment prior to geocaching.

 

This is such excellent advice! I was trying to figure out how to say be prepared but couldn't make the words come out. You've done far better than I could have. The only thing I would add is to plan trips well-within one's capacity. Solo trips are not the time to challenge one's physical abilities.

 

Carolyn

I had the experience of meeting a fellow cacher also collecting clues in a remote graveyard. I knew him by name and he knew me-well-he'd read all my logs. When time came to set off for the cache he found he'd forgotten his GPS so it seemed natural that he come with me.We walked a couple of miles in remote countyside. I had my dog with me but I only belatedly wondered if I was wise. On reflection i should have made some excuse-sometimes in-built politeness is difficult to overcome-but i hope this pre-warns someone else. All was well, and, if he's reading this-it was nice to meet you! :drama:

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Any other women (or men, I suppose ) that ever get a bit spooked? Or think twice about the wisdom of heading down that path alone?

 

Just wanted to come in and say, "woman here, and No". I cache alone, mostly. I go long distances"down that path" by foot and in a 'yak.

 

I find the tendency to worry about the statistically unlikely stuff annoying. People will ask me about snakes and gators. Uh huh. Yes, they are.

 

The real wildlife hazards, by far, are stinging insects and mosquitoes. Sunburn and dehydration. Turning an ankle.

 

In 30 years, I can recall exactly 2 crime stories in this state about people being harmed by random nut jobs in the woods. I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more likely to win the lottery, or be struck by lightning. And so are you.

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If you carry a weapon of any kind be sure you know how to and are willing to use it. Even a can of bear spray, if you need it that is not the time to figure out how to make it work. Buy a second can and take it to the backyard for a practice spray. Remember to check the direction of the wind first. The biggest gun won't help if you have it taken away from you, because you can't make yourself shoot.

 

A further note on this:

If you have a 'lethal' weapon (firearm, knife, etc.) never take it out if you are not ready to kill if you have to. Being willing to use means being willing to use to the fullest extent of its ability. If you point a gun at someone, you should be ready to kill them. It may sound terrible, but never shoot to wound.

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I cache alone a lot. I try to get a good sense of the area and if I am uncomfortable going there I won't go without my husband. If you just do things smart and pay attention you'll be ok. I'm glad to see that I am not the only one going solo. This is Col. Flagg, I keep forgetting to log my husband out before I post stuff.

Edited by Cpl. Klinger
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If you carry a weapon of any kind be sure you know how to and are willing to use it. Even a can of bear spray, if you need it that is not the time to figure out how to make it work. Buy a second can and take it to the backyard for a practice spray. Remember to check the direction of the wind first. The biggest gun won't help if you have it taken away from you, because you can't make yourself shoot.

 

A further note on this:

If you have a 'lethal' weapon (firearm, knife, etc.) never take it out if you are not ready to kill if you have to. Being willing to use means being willing to use to the fullest extent of its ability. If you point a gun at someone, you should be ready to kill them. It may sound terrible, but never shoot to wound.

Nonsense! Shoot em in the knees and then watch them cry as you take all their stuff.

 

Just kidding folks...

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I usually cache with my mom but sometimes I go alone (my husband isn't much into caching, although sometimes I manage to drag him along). My rule of thumb is to leave a note with the caches I'm planning to look for so in case I don't come home my DH & mom can go online to find out where I've been. I also ALWAYS carry my cell phone with me and tune into instinct. Even though I may really want to find that cache, if I sense danger or just have an uneasy feeling, I back right out and leave.

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A lot of good suggestions in this post, and thanks for all the replies. I guess it wouldn't hurt to get some spray or something. This is Canada and I'm totally not into firearms, so I wouldn't go that route, but bear spray might be a good idea...I'll have to check into the legalities. I certainly couldn't outrun anyone who wanted to hurt me. Funny, I never worry about the wild animals, but worry more about running into a creepy man or a drug deal.

 

Really, I know statistically it is HIGHLY unlikely and I didn't want to come across as a nervous-type person. I sort of pride myself on being comfortable alone. It took me by surprise the first time I suddenly realized how vulnerable I was...I headed down a quad trail confidently with just my iphone (no service) and a pen, and I heard a quad somewhere far off in the distance and all of a sudden it hit me that I might not be the only one on the quad trail. My hubby had warned me to be careful when I left and I totally poo-poo'd it...but maybe that's why I was suddenly concerned. Maybe I can blame not finding the cache on my nervousness. lol

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Any other women (or men, I suppose :drama: ) that ever get a bit spooked? Or think twice about the wisdom of heading down that path alone?

 

Pick me...I think twice about the same thing. Trouble is, I usually think once about it when I'm wayyy out on the trail (kinda late yathink) and a second time when I get back to the cachemobile and wonder what in heck I was thinking... ;)

 

It's not the driving, although I did scare the heck out of myself one time last winter. Caches started calling me and before I knew it I was so far off the beaten path that I realized I wouldn't be found until either the next heavy snow (it was a seldom plowed road) or spring, whichever came first. I got myself the heck home.

 

Compounding the alone factor, is my age and the fact that I must use braces on both ankles to prevent further falls. All 'Timmy' jokes aside, my collie is not trained for search and rescue. I like to think that he'd be able to scare off a bear but who knows!! I carry bear spray but wonder how really effective it would be in an emergency.

 

Truthfully, too, I find that caching is wayyy more fun done with friends than all by myself.

 

I'm trying to find a caching partner that is a more willing accomplice than my ex! :P

 

Wandrlust...wanna meet me in North Bay... :)

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I wouldn't let my wife go. I like her too much.

 

We are very close and do nearly everything together, but I think that if my beloved had refused to allow me to occasionally hike alone or travel alone it is likely that our relationship would have ended long ago. There is something about hiking alone that allows me to relax and think through things with clarity that I don't get from anything else. It has been those times when things were hardest for us that I hiked alone. I always emerged with a new understanding and calm. My calm understanding removed barriers between us. Solo hiking has been a safety valve that reduced the volatility in my relationship and helped me separate the inconsequential from the important.

 

I am not telling you that your relationship should work as mine does. I think we are all best when we choose our own paths. But I do think that the idea of forbidding people to be alone is something that should not be widely promoted.

If the situation was as the OP said, I wouldn't let her go. She wouldn't go in that situation anyway.

 

But... it isn't as the situation of the OP. My wife is trained and carries a personal firearm. Although it is a pain I can't tell you how many times she has come home saying she was so happy that she had it with her in a somewhat nervous situation. I still would not want her to go as it still seems like it would be taking a chance that I wouldn't want us to take. After being scared and alone geocaching before she wouldn't do it anyway.

 

My wife is small and good looking. It would be so easy to grab her and throw her in a van, firearm or not. I just want to know she is safe.

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If the situation was as the OP said, I wouldn't let her go. She wouldn't go in that situation anyway.

 

But... it isn't as the situation of the OP. My wife is trained and carries a personal firearm. Although it is a pain I can't tell you how many times she has come home saying she was so happy that she had it with her in a somewhat nervous situation. I still would not want her to go as it still seems like it would be taking a chance that I wouldn't want us to take. After being scared and alone geocaching before she wouldn't do it anyway.

 

My wife is small and good looking. It would be so easy to grab her and throw her in a van, firearm or not. I just want to know she is safe.

 

I hope you understand that I'm not criticizing your relationship or your decisions. Good, lasting relationships are so precious that if you have a set-up that works for both of you, that brings you comfort and joy, you should continue to do exactly what you are doing. My only point is that while forbidding your wife to hike alone works for you, it isn't a broadly applicable standard, nor is it a generalizable test of love. It doesn't work for everyone.

 

My wife is small and good looking. It would be so easy to grab her and throw her in a van, firearm or not. I just want to know she is safe.

 

I was once grabbed and dragged into a car (a small car, not a van) and it was a terrifying experience. I fought my way out of it and ended up ok in the end. But it made me feel vulnerable and unsafe. I had nightmares for a long time after that. It shattered my beloved's confidence since he hadn't been there to protect me. Where did this happen? A block from my home at the local 7-11 in the middle of the city. No one helped me.

 

Predators go where the prey is. Predators who prey on women don't head to the mountains or the woods or the swamp. They go to the 7-11 or the shopping center or the daycare center or the hair salon or the library. Are you as concerned about your wife going to these places alone?

 

Carolyn

Edited by Steve&GeoCarolyn
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i cache alone in both urban and remote locations. i sleep in my car, and i stay out for upwards of twenty days without bothering to leave my travel plans with anyone, because i do not have plans.

 

i often hunt caches at homeless encampments. i do this on purpose; never you mind why.

 

i don't carry pepper spray because i never know if i'll be going into canada and it gets expensive turning those over at customs every time you pass through. granted, you can reclaim it if you come back in at the same port, but i often re-enter elsewhere.

 

the last time a guy offered to kill me i sent him packing with a bad look and a few sharp words.

 

i've been struck by lightning, run over, threatened, stalked, and nearly froze to death once. when my number comes up, it comes up. in the meantime, i'm playing games.

 

i am not afraid.

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i cache alone in both urban and remote locations. i sleep in my car, and i stay out for upwards of twenty days without bothering to leave my travel plans with anyone, because i do not have plans.

 

i often hunt caches at homeless encampments. i do this on purpose; never you mind why.

 

i don't carry pepper spray because i never know if i'll be going into canada and it gets expensive turning those over at customs every time you pass through. granted, you can reclaim it if you come back in at the same port, but i often re-enter elsewhere.

 

the last time a guy offered to kill me i sent him packing with a bad look and a few sharp words.

 

i've been struck by lightning, run over, threatened, stalked, and nearly froze to death once. when my number comes up, it comes up. in the meantime, i'm playing games.

 

i am not afraid.

 

Never been struck by lightning. It hit 6 feet away. Add nearly drowning at least a half dozen time to my list.

I'm not afraid of people. I figure I've already used my 9 lives and possibly immortal (though I'm not going to test the theory).

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I hope you understand that I'm not criticizing your relationship or your decisions. Good, lasting relationships are so precious that if you have a set-up that works for both of you, that brings you comfort and joy, you should continue to do exactly what you are doing. My only point is that while forbidding your wife to hike alone works for you, it isn't a broadly applicable standard, nor is it a generalizable test of love. It doesn't work for everyone.

I understand what you are saying. My wife and I have a great relationship. She totally respects what I say (as I do her) and if she didn't I would know. Some people probably think "you pig!" but it isn't like that at all. Not for everyone. I can think of some women who you told that to and they would go against it "just because".

 

Predators go where the prey is. Predators who prey on women don't head to the mountains or the woods or the swamp. They go to the 7-11 or the shopping center or the daycare center or the hair salon or the library. Are you as concerned about your wife going to these places alone?

 

Carolyn

Absolutely! I think that the most dangerous place for her to be is a parking lot. It doesn't matter who is around. It is a constant hazard. You aren't safe anywhere. Not even at home.

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Absolutely! I think that the most dangerous place for her to be is a parking lot. It doesn't matter who is around. It is a constant hazard. You aren't safe anywhere. Not even at home.

 

and do you have similar safety concerns for yourself, or is it just your fragile little wife?

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Absolutely! I think that the most dangerous place for her to be is a parking lot. It doesn't matter who is around. It is a constant hazard. You aren't safe anywhere. Not even at home.

 

and do you have similar safety concerns for yourself, or is it just your fragile little wife?

Of course i do. We were talking about women though. And who said my wife is fragile? I surely didn't. She may be small but she is tough.

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Absolutely! I think that the most dangerous place for her to be is a parking lot. It doesn't matter who is around. It is a constant hazard. You aren't safe anywhere. Not even at home.

and do you have similar safety concerns for yourself, or is it just your fragile little wife?

 

Ok....here is my input. I am Stephen's wife. I feel compelled to say something because I don't want people to take what Stephen says the wrong way or put it into incorrect context.

 

I am 5' and weigh about 100 pounds. I am a small fry. "Fragile" would not be a term, however, that I would use to describe myself.

 

When I was 15 years old I was sexually assaulted by two teenage boys. It was in my own home. It was by far the most devastating and difficult thing that I have ever had to endure in my life. I have been in stores where I have had my butt grabbed, a street where I have had someone corner me in and kiss me,(someone that I didn't know at all) and I have had a person stalk me when I was younger. I'm not a stranger to being a victim. I am not a stranger to the way the world works.

 

I appreciate how my husband feels. He only wants me to be safe. I don't feel as if he is controlling me. It's like telling my children to look both ways before the cross the street. It's like telling them not to touch a hot stove. I only give them this direction because I love them and I wouldn't want them to ever get hurt. I think that everyone, regardless of their gender, needs to remain alert and aware of their surroundings. I don't think that is unreasonable to place restrictions or guidelines in order to prevent things from happening.

 

To say that I am his "fragile little wife" is offensive to me. I know that my husband cares about me. I love geocaching. It is enjoyable and is a wonderful way to spend time together. It is a shame that we have to worry so much about violence. While I would love to take a quiet hike by myself sometimes or go for a walk with my ear buds in...I know that it wouldn't be the best thing to do. When I do have to go to the store alone or anywhere else alone I do carry protection with me. I know that I have to be responsible, alert, and realistic about what might happen.

 

If you think about it, we might all be considered fragile. We're all capable of being broken or damaged. I don't think that we should hide in a shell or always be afraid of what could happen, however, I do think that we all should take precautions to stay safe and play the game wisely.

 

My hubby really isn't trying to be controlling or overbearing. I know that his heart is in the right place. Neither one of us don't think that anyone is wrong in how they live their life or the decisions that they make. I think that I speak for both Stephen and myself when I express that we want all of our fellow cachers to be safe. Don't over think what is being said. Don't be so quick to judge.

 

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

 

-Angie

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Absolutely! I think that the most dangerous place for her to be is a parking lot. It doesn't matter who is around. It is a constant hazard. You aren't safe anywhere. Not even at home.

and do you have similar safety concerns for yourself, or is it just your fragile little wife?

 

Ok....here is my input. I am Stephen's wife. I feel compelled to say something because I don't want people to take what Stephen says the wrong way or put it into incorrect context.

 

I am 5' and weigh about 100 pounds. I am a small fry. "Fragile" would not be a term, however, that I would use to describe myself.

 

When I was 15 years old I was sexually assaulted by two teenage boys. It was in my own home. It was by far the most devastating and difficult thing that I have ever had to endure in my life. I have been in stores where I have had my butt grabbed, a street where I have had someone corner me in and kiss me,(someone that I didn't know at all) and I have had a person stalk me when I was younger. I'm not a stranger to being a victim. I am not a stranger to the way the world works.

 

I appreciate how my husband feels. He only wants me to be safe. I don't feel as if he is controlling me. It's like telling my children to look both ways before the cross the street. It's like telling them not to touch a hot stove. I only give them this direction because I love them and I wouldn't want them to ever get hurt. I think that everyone, regardless of their gender, needs to remain alert and aware of their surroundings. I don't think that is unreasonable to place restrictions or guidelines in order to prevent things from happening.

 

To say that I am his "fragile little wife" is offensive to me. I know that my husband cares about me. I love geocaching. It is enjoyable and is a wonderful way to spend time together. It is a shame that we have to worry so much about violence. While I would love to take a quiet hike by myself sometimes or go for a walk with my ear buds in...I know that it wouldn't be the best thing to do. When I do have to go to the store alone or anywhere else alone I do carry protection with me. I know that I have to be responsible, alert, and realistic about what might happen.

 

If you think about it, we might all be considered fragile. We're all capable of being broken or damaged. I don't think that we should hide in a shell or always be afraid of what could happen, however, I do think that we all should take precautions to stay safe and play the game wisely.

 

My hubby really isn't trying to be controlling or overbearing. I know that his heart is in the right place. Neither one of us don't think that anyone is wrong in how they live their life or the decisions that they make. I think that I speak for both Stephen and myself when I express that we want all of our fellow cachers to be safe. Don't over think what is being said. Don't be so quick to judge.

 

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

 

-Angie

 

I will second that! :P

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I think the decision to go alone is up to each individual person. We all have our own level of comfort. Personally I've done quite a bit of caching alone, and only a few times have felt "uneasy" about being somewhere by myself. In those instances, I've simply driven away. I think it is smart to be some what "prepared" incase you are enjoying a nice walk in the woods alone and someone tries to come at you "outta nowhere". Also, just be mindfully aware of where you are (though I know that can be hard when you are following that arrow). If the area has a bunch of ruff looking folks hanging around, or in anyway seems unsafe, then keep driving...it's just not worth it.

 

If you've never taken a self defense class, you may want to look into that in your area. They are usually free or very cheap and can be a lot of fun if you have a few girlfriends go with you (I mean who doesn't like beating up a man in a plushy suit?)

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Hi Angie,

 

I apologize for the part I've played in making you feel that your relationship is being judged. It truly wasn't my intent. I believe that people should arrange their lives in ways that work for the individuals involved. You've clearly done that and I'm glad you're happy. I think that there is nothing more important than happiness within our intimate relationships.

 

I thought that flask's question was unfair. What person who is in love cares less for their true love's well-being than their own? It is not a gendered issue. I worry more about my beloved than about myself. I'm willing to risk myself far more than him. I think the same is true in reverse for him, though he controls his feelings of worry better than I do. I assume this is true of everyone who loves someone else. It is part of the essence of love.

 

There are several things that work in your life that I think should not be regarded as mandatory in other people's lives. First, I think that people should be free to be alone at times. For me it is necessary for my mental health. I think that it should be ok for someone to choose not to carry a gun. It should be ok to take some risks in life.

 

I've heard from more than one person that my beloved doesn't care about me or is not truly manly because he allows me to travel or hike alone and doesn't demand that I carry a gun. This is unfair. I want to be the other voice when that sort of thing comes up in a conversation. That is why I took the stand I did. (I didn't think that Stephen was saying precisely that, but he does extend his views on solo hiking to others, as when he mentioned being uncomfortable when seeing a young woman hiking alone.)

 

In addition, I think that people overestimate the risk of being alone in the woods and underestimate the everyday risks we all deal with. The familiar always seems safer. As Mrbort pointed out, it is quite common to overestimate the dangers of flying and underestimate the dangers of driving.

 

Those are my views. Again, I'm sorry that you feel besieged. It was not my intent.

 

Carolyn

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Hi Angie,

 

I don't think it's your husband's desire to protect you that rubbed so many people the wrong way, it's more the fact that by saying :

 

I wouldn't let my wife go. I like her too much.

 

He seems to be implying that any husband that leaves his wife go geocaching alone doesn't really love her :P

 

This, to me, sounds just wrong.

 

My husband is free to come with me if that makes him feel better about it, but he knows better than to tell me not to go. And while it is fine to forbid your kid to cross the street alone at 5 years old, I'm not a kid and don't accept to be treated like one.

 

So, nothing wrong with your husband acting as your bodyguard if it's ok with you, but is is not necessary for everyone. As you know, going to the store can be more dangerous than going caching. So are we to each lock ourselves up in our homes and only travel in groups? If I was in a city where I felt like that, I would move, as fast as I could.

 

The only really disturbing encounter I've had in years of caching (alone 90% of the time) was in a city park popular with families (beach, kids playground, short trails), at 11 on a sunny Sunday morning. I guy dropped his pants in the middle of the trail and tried to talk me into approaching :P ... did he really think that would work? I backed away, made sure I had a good grip on my hiking stick and called the police on his a**. He wasn't quite dumb enough to follow me to the parking lot.

 

Bad guys are not waiting deep in the woods for the rare lone female hiker, they prefer busy areas and nice weather. Now, if a cache gets published in that park, I go during a snowstorm. Nice days, I'll go deep in the woods.

 

I hike, geocache, hunt and fish all by myself. My husband telling me I can't do that definitively wouldn't go well with me and I wouldn't take it as a sign of love. I sometimes go camping for several days alone in the middle of the woods and I feel quite safe. OK, I'm not completely crazy...I do tell someone exactly where I'm going, when I'm due back, and I carry everything necessary to survive a few weeks if necessary. It's certainly not more or less dangerous for me than it is for the many men that do that kind of thing without anyone thinking it's weird.

 

Sorry about the rant, but while threads about what to do to cache alone safely are good, I get annoyed that some people see it as a "women" issue. I know a few parks where I'm quite safe alone but I would be very worried for a young man's safety :)

Edited by The red-haired witch
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my hackles are raised generically whenever anyone suggests that women are in greater need of protection than men, or that we are in need of special assistance, or that our domestic partners, fathers, or brothers have the right to tell us what we are and are not allowed to do.

 

women are often oppressed by people who place this oppression in the context of "protection", and wherever some guy makes a point that his wife isn't allowed to go somewhere unsafe or do something dangerous, i have to ask whether he himself may do these things. it is precisely my intent to call into question the insidious perception that women are in need of special protection as opposed to men.

 

i don't give two hoots in a handbasket about your relationship and the balance between you; that's your business. remarks that suggest even briefly that women are less capable or must fall under someone else's dominion for their own protection become my business, just as remarks that are discriminatory against any other group also become my business and the global business of all who care about equality.

 

i will continue to challenge such remarks when i see them; if a person who makes such a remark does not intend to be discriminatory and considers himself to be as vulnerable to danger, he can say so. in any case, the comment should not be allowed to pass unexamined.

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Up until now I didn't even think about danger from other people on the trails. Nor worried much about vehicle breakdown. They're not my main concerns.

 

In the winter time I was concerned about getting the van stuck or sliding off the road into a ditch and being stuck out there for hours until someone came along that could assist me. That was a very real worry for me up here in the north. I do carry emergency equipment but unless the van is gonna walk itself out, I can't push and drive at the same time. Heck, I can't push anyways... :P That and I could be within fifteen minutes drive of home and have no cell phone service up here.

 

Out on the remote trails I'm mostly concerned with me taking a tumble and hurting myself. Heck the last time I really did something painful I stepped off the bottom step at home and broke one ankle and sprained the other...see why I question the wisdom of me being out on a rocky trail by myself... :rolleyes

 

Aside from me being a danger to myself I do have some concerns about wildlife. Bear and wolf sightings are frequent in this neck of the woods.

 

It doesn't stop me from heading out, I'd just be a whole lot more comfortable if there was someone with me.

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My wife is small and good looking. It would be so easy to grab her and throw her in a van, firearm or not. I just want to know she is safe.

 

If that's the case then I'd advise you to let her cache out in the woods all she wants and forbid her from going shopping. You don't see a lot of vans in the woods.

Edited by briansnat
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It doesn't stop me from heading out, I'd just be a whole lot more comfortable if there was someone with me.

 

there are some things i simply won't do when i'm alone, but i will do if crashco is with me. these things usually involve climbing on something or going into a cave.

 

while i am fairly brave by myself, i have just finished paying off my last ambulance ride, so i'm a little more careful than i sometimes might be. more dramatic rescues are simply not in my budget for the remainder of this year.

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Thinking back to this I see where we addressed one aspect of safe solo caching – that of attack by a predator (human or animal). I would like to add that to be safe one should look deeper.

 

1. Identify what all could go wrong, break it down into categories. i.e. Vehicle breakdown, weather, poisonous plants, dangerous animals, terrain, personal fitness and physical limitations.

 

2. Determine what you can do to minimize the dangers of each category. i.e. vehicle – check the antifreeze, oil (level and last change), tires (tread and proper inflation); breaks, warning lights, etc.

 

3. Minimize the effects that, if despite your preventions, the danger does occur. i.e. vehicle inoperability – check fuel level, 2nd set of car keys, cell phone to call for help, jack to change a tire, jumper cables, blanket, food, water – if stranded in the car,

 

If you look at each possible risk and create a plan to prevent it from happening and a plan of what to do if it does happen you will avoid most troubles and be prepared to deal with the rest. Much of this is especially important when traveling to places you are unfamiliar with. Different plants, animals, terrain, and weather; plus your support system is not as readily available when close to home.

 

And yes all you Army guys and gals I am talking about doing a Risk Assessment prior to geocaching.

 

There have been numerous thread in the past involving "extreme caches", whether the CO has an obligation to mention potential dangers while seeking the cache, and other topics somewhat related to risk assessment but since you've specifically mentioned it I though I would comment as I find the topic interesting.

 

It seems what you are describing here is actually Risk Management, where step 1 is the Risk Assessment step.

 

IMHO, the biggest challenge is identifying all possible risks. Most of us can recognize a steep cliff if he see one and probably have a pretty good sense about whether or not it would be too risky to climb down it (and get back up) with a reasonable safety margin. However, I see lots of people out in canoes and kayaks when the water is 40 degrees or less, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt because the air temps are in the 70s (Fahrenheit), and are not wearing a PFD. As long as they stay upright they're fine, but a capsize in water that cold can easily be fatal if they're more than a couple hundred feet from shore and don't know how (and that means practicing) to reenter a canoe/kayak in deep water. In this case, they haven't done a proper risk assessment because they are probably not even aware of the potential dangers.

 

The other issue that I see fairly often is a reliance on "safety equipment" in lieu of personal proficiency in mitigating a risk. In the kayaking world I frequently see inexperienced kayakers with lots of brand new safety gear that can be potentially lifesaving...but only if you know how to use it. I wonder how many just go out and get a hand gun for risk management without really doing a risk assessment.

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My wife is small and good looking. It would be so easy to grab her and throw her in a van, firearm or not. I just want to know she is safe.

 

If that's the case then I'd advise you to let her cache out in the woods all she wants and forbid her from going shopping. You don't see a lot of vans in the woods.

There is when you go caching down by the river.

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I wouldn't let my wife go. I like her too much.

 

He seems to be implying that any husband that leaves his wife go geocaching alone doesn't really love her :)

 

This, to me, sounds just wrong.

That is not what I intended it to sound like. I was talking about myself and not of others. I can tell my wife things like this and she will not take offense. We have an old school relationship. Even if she didn't agree with me about something, she would still listen to me. Now, does that happen? Not that I can remember because we are mostly in agreement. I get that others don't have relationships like this, but we do.

 

As noted before, this isn't about relationships. This is about woman staying safe. At times I had my wife carry an asp and pepper spray. (Not the cheap stuff; real stuff.) I though about getting her a taser but for the same price you can get a handgun and you get more than one or two shots.

 

Without a firearm, I don't even think I would cache in the woods alone.

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Without a firearm, I don't even think I would cache in the woods alone.

 

Yet you will go to work, the mall and walk down city streets without a firearm?

 

There were some statistics I read a long time ago that said people who carry weapons were much more likely to be injured by weapons than those who didn't carry them.

 

Carrying a weapon could get you killed quicker.

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