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Arrr, it be a cointest!


anne.and.eli

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Avast mateys!

 

This be Cap'n Kita Hookclaw, dread pirate of th' nine lives and seven seas!

 

Arrr, I be havin' a sad tale t' tell over me grog tonight! In all me lives and years, I never be dealin' with th' likes of this.

 

I be lookin' where I buried me treasure, and all I be findin' is a series of puzzles and clues. ARRRrrrr the land-lubbin' scallywag who be stealin' me treasure will be payin'! But that be a tale for an'ther day.

 

Mateys, I be losin' me hidden treasure, and I need yer help findin' it.

 

In return fer yer help, I be splittin' me treasure with yeh.

 

Me lawyer be drawin' up th' rules, I'll be leavin' th' rest t'her.

 

-----

 

Rules:

Every day, I'll post a pirate-themed riddle. I'll do this for four days.

After the riddle is posted, you have 24 hours to email me the answer to the riddle! (You can get to my email through my geocaching profile)

At the end of each day, I will list everyone who got the riddle correct for that day.

 

At the end of four days, I will take the lists for each day and put them together in one honkin' list, (and yes you can have your name on the list for each day), choose a random number, and that person wins half of Cap'n Kita Hookclaw's treasure!!

 

While the Cap'n tells no tales of the extent of her treasure, I do know my favorite pirate kitty does have an unactivated geocoin for you to choose from. You can choose from either silver or gold. Here's a picture of them.

 

Cursed-booty-Gold.gifCursed-booty-Silver.gif

 

Please note, they are not the LE version. It is silver with red gem, or gold with blue gem. There is a glow in the dark back. These gifs are animated so wait a bit to see the backs if you are interested.

 

In addition to the riddles I'll post, I have a geogem for the person that posts the funniest pirate joke, pirate limerick, or pirate story during the four days the cointest is running. Please keep it relatively clean. :) Cap'n Kita and I will be the judge. :)

 

Okay, get ready, Cap'n Kita is gettin' her first riddle ready!

 

-Anne (and Cap'n Kita)

Edited by anne.and.eli
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Here be th' firs' riddle! Please be helpin' me solve it! Remember to be emailin' me th' answer!

 

Shipwrecked we are, once a proud crew,

Evening finds us, stranded and few;

Victory was ours, but now has its cost,

Even so, we must count the lost.

Now we see, only several have survived,

To think our crew, at thirty arrived,

Everyone at rest, we must ask you,

Engage in the counting, how many are the few?

Now I have given the clue, it's all up to you.

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I'm responding to every email I get, so if you don't get a response to your answer (in a reasonable amount of time) feel free to bug me again or post here.

 

In the meantime, do not forget about the secondary prize! Geogem for the funniest pirate limmerick, joke, story, whatever! Must be piratey, and must be relatively clean. :)

 

I can start.

 

There once was a pirate named Kita,

Who had white toes on her feet-a,

once she misplaced her cache,

she ran off with a dash,

and yelled, man this sure is a PITA!

 

I will be winning no prizes. lol

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Since I am not that good with riddles, I figured I would go for the secondary prize....

 

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances

 

The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"

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Since I am not that good with riddles, I figured I would go for the secondary prize....

 

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances

 

The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"

 

HAHahahahahaha that's awesome. That reminds me of another genie riddle (not pirate related).

 

A man came across a genie bottle and of course rubbed it. A genie appeared and granted him three wishes. The man thought about it and said "I want to be the riches man ever!"

 

The genie nodded, and the man immediately was wealthy beyond his imagination.

The genie told him, "That's one wish, you have two more."

 

The man thought some more and said "Wealth is worthless without someone to share it with. I wish to meet the love of my life!"

 

The genie again nodded, and a beautiful woman appeared. At once, the man knew true love.

 

The genie said "You have one wish left."

 

The man thought some more and said "I have both money and love, I can't think of anything else I want." The genie said "I must grant you three wishes, but I can give you time to think about it. The next thing you wish for I will grant you."

 

The man thanked the genie, and took his wife by the hand and got in their new car. He turned on the radio and was in such a great mood he began singing along.

 

"Oh I wish I was an oscar meyer weiner..." *poof*!

 

:)

 

[Edit to add] Opal, I LOVE it! :o I'm gonna be hovering in the forums even more than usual. :)

Edited by anne.and.eli
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I'm afraid I've got no funny tales of pirates; my funny bone be stashed away in Davy Jones' Locker. But I do have me a tellin' of real-life pirates (or, at least, gun smugglers):

 

Visit, Board, Search & Seizure - left-hand page

 

Visit, Board, Search & Seizure - right-hand page (the story is actually on this page along with a photo of all of the weapons we seized from the dhow in question).

 

Pirates beware the Mighty McFAUL!

 

Oh, and there be vaguely amusing pirate-y pictures here and here.

 

Arrrrrr!

 

Edited to add: the best US Navy vs Pirates story is encapsulated here. It is, however, grim rather than funny.

 

Also edited to add: ann.and.eli, I love your new avatar. : )

Edited by Jackalgirl
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Here's a joke I found

 

So this pirate walks into a bar and sits next to a drunken wench.

 

The wench looks him over and says, "Nice pirate outfit. Where'd you get your earrings?"

 

The pirate says, "Arr, I bought one from the dollar store on the other side of town and I got the other from the dollar store across the street."

 

So the wench exclaims, "Wow! Not bad for a buck-an-ear!"

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Here's a joke I found

 

So this pirate walks into a bar and sits next to a drunken wench.

 

The wench looks him over and says, "Nice pirate outfit. Where'd you get your earrings?"

 

The pirate says, "Arr, I bought one from the dollar store on the other side of town and I got the other from the dollar store across the street."

 

So the wench exclaims, "Wow! Not bad for a buck-an-ear!"

 

GROAN!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(...that was GREAT! : ) )

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You're not too late. :) You all have until 7pm PDT on Monday for this riddle. Then I'll post ANOTHER. After 4 days, I'll take all the names from all 4 days (yes you can be on the list more than once) and pick a random number. That person wins half the booty!

 

I'm lovin all the jokes and limericks! That's gonna be a hard one to judge. :)

 

I've gone through all of my email so far. If you sent a response and I have NOT responded, please post on this thread. I don't want to miss anyone.

 

-Anne

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Yarrrr, my answer is sent!

 

Someone has to include the classic:

 

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants..

Bartender: Hey, you know you have a steering wheel down there?

Pirate: Yar, tis drivin' me nuts!

 

And one more:

 

Where can you find a pirate's buccaneers? Under his bucc'n hat!

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A pirate walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender recognizes him, and exclaims, "What happened?! You've got a hook for a hand, a wooden leg, and an eye patch! Surely some wild adventure gone awry! "

The pirate sips his drink, then answers, "Aye. We were boarding a ship, and there was some swordplay. I lost a hand."

The bartender inquires, "And the leg?"

"I got clipped by a cannonball in a fierce barrage."

"Ouch," says the bartender. "And the eye?"

"Arrr, I was on lookout, and some scurvy seagull let loose into my eye!"

"Yikes!" said the bartender.

"No, that wasn't it. I still wasn't used to the hook you see."

Edited by aniyn
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Oh my... My daughter, PV=nRT, will LOVE this thread. She's at Dollywood right now, but when she gets back, she'll be a readin' the logs you pirate's have been postin'. Laura celebrates Talk Like a Pirate Day. LOL! She also filled me in on the Flying Spaghetti Monster the other day. Anyway, here is one of her jokes:

 

Why couldn't the pirate children go to the movie?

 

Because it was rated ARRRrrrr!

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Ahoy..... I see a cointest!!!!! :o

 

...Email sent! :D

 

Wind in your sails and fishes in your mouth captain!!! :D

 

always remember...

 

do not fell in the sea

Cats don't like there to be

the ship has plenty of mice

that are salty and nice!!! :)

 

If you sail at East

you'll have a companion at the feast

Just think about it and don't be foolish

I love the adventures and I am GATOULIS

 

I am a good fighter but don't have a hook,

I have a wooden tale but I won't let you look!! :)

I come from a family of pirate Cats

Shall I stop? Am I turning you nuts? :o

 

I will soon post a joke too! ;) Thank you for the cointest!!!

 

The coin is lovely!!!!

 

Hey.... it is one of the pirates of the Caribbean coins right???

So, it will be a gift or we will be cursed??? :D Just kiding!!!!! :D

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Here is the joke!

 

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

 

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.

 

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.

 

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!

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Well.... I found these too so... :)

 

A pirate and his parrot, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a valiant battle. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, the pirate stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a Genie came forth. This particular Genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving any thought to the matter the pirate blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into rum!" The Genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest rum ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the Genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of rum on the hull broke the stillness as the two considered their circumstances

 

The parrot looked disgustedly at the pirate and after a tension-filled moment spoke: "Now yee've done it!! Now we're goon to have to pee in the boat!"

Link to comment

I have emailed back everyone who has sent in a reply. Here's the list so far. ;)

 

Way more responses than I was expecting. Now I wish I had more prizes to give. <_<

 

If you sent me an email with the correct answer and you're NOT ON THE LIST, please let me know. ;) There's still plenty of time to send in your answers!

 

Day 1

1. geoholic28

2. snowball58

3. the saint

4. The Walkabouts

5. Penguin #1

6. LadyBee4T

7. SYOTT

8. jackalgirl

9. gardengorilla

10.opalsns

11.sunsetmeadowlark

12.Frank n Beck

13.aniyn

14.slowdownracer

15.irwando

16.gatoulis

17.DresselDragons

18.Clarkbowman

19.xpat-021

20.FScout

21.ATMouse

22.surteb

 

-Anne

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Hey all, wrestled the keyboard away from Kita!

 

Here's the list from yesterday's riddle!

 

Day 1

1. geoholic28

2. snowball58

3. the saint

4. The Walkabouts

5. Penguin #1

6. LadyBee4T

7. SYOTT

8. jackalgirl

9. gardengorilla

10.opalsns

11.sunsetmeadowlark

12.Frank n Beck

13.aniyn

14.slowdownracer

15.irwando

16.gatoulis

17.DresselDragons

18.Clarkbowman

19.xpat-021

20.FScout

21.ATMouse

22.surteb

23.Ashallond

24.SgtMikal

 

If you think you should be on the list and you aren't, email me!

 

-Anne

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