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UNCOINTEST: No Prize For You


WRITE SHOP ROBERT

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I don't deserve to win because I am just too darn lazy. I have been sitting here all day since oyu posted the uncointest trying to get up the energy to write why I don't deserve to win but it take too much energy to think of something profound to say. So please do not pick me as a winner because if you do I will have to respond and I don't think I have the energy or the drive to respond, oh bother why did I enter this one.....

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I dont deserve to win because today is my birthday and Im in a bad mood. My hubby made me do the dishes and the dinner he made was not my favorite. And my mommy made me a cake and I had to share it with my kids. And its my birthday and I'll cry if I want to!!! Thats why I shouldnt win!

It's my birthday too, girl! Another year older (and deeper in debt... wait that's another song....)

 

And I don't deserve to win because I am a horrible Birthday Mission person. I have not yet sent out my Birthday mission because I am still waiting on just one more thing that if I had just been a little more on top of things I would have ordered it a long time ago and would have gotten it in plenty of time so my birthday person's gifts will be late, late, late and I have no one to blame but myself but I got a bunch of cool stuff for them that I really hope that they enjoy even tho it will be late. So apologies to my Birthday Person! :wub: Your package will go into the mail as soon as I get everything. See how horrible I am?

 

CF30

 

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I hope WSR will not take this post as my third!!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the sweet lions (zodiac )....Usyoopers, Skyoli, Crowesfeat30 and to Micke!!! :yikes:

 

My best wishes my friends!!! I am wishing, all the things you ever dreams and whished for, to come true!!!

 

My girlfriend's birthday was yesterday!!! :P

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I hope WSR will not take this post as my third!!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the sweet lions (zodiac )....Usyoopers, Skyoli, Crowesfeat30 and to Micke!!! :)

 

My best wishes my friends!!! I am wishing, all the things you ever dreams and whished for, to come true!!!

 

My girlfriend's birthday was yesterday!!! :)

If you forgot to call her then you don't deserve ANYTHING!

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I hope WSR will not take this post as my third!!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the sweet lions (zodiac )....Usyoopers, Skyoli, Crowesfeat30 and to Micke!!! :)

 

My best wishes my friends!!! I am wishing, all the things you ever dreams and whished for, to come true!!!

 

My girlfriend's birthday was yesterday!!! :ph34r:

If you forgot to call her then you don't deserve ANYTHING!

 

:D:) Oh no!!! I will never forget them again...I hope!!! :):)

 

Well, she was here that day, so I gave my wishes and my present, from close! :P

 

SO I deserve something, but...I do not deserve posting here for that! :):):)

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I hope WSR will not take this post as my third!!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the sweet lions (zodiac )....Usyoopers, Skyoli, Crowesfeat30 and to Micke!!! :)

 

My best wishes my friends!!! I am wishing, all the things you ever dreams and whished for, to come true!!!

 

My girlfriend's birthday was yesterday!!! :ph34r:

If you forgot to call her then you don't deserve ANYTHING!

 

:D:) Oh no!!! I will never forget them again...I hope!!! :):)

 

Well, she was here that day, so I gave my wishes and my present, from close! :P

 

SO I deserve something, but...I do not deserve posting here for that! :):):)

Congratulations, You Win, You Win...Just not the coin!

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I hope WSR will not take this post as my third!!

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the sweet lions (zodiac )....Usyoopers, Skyoli, Crowesfeat30 and to Micke!!! :D

 

My best wishes my friends!!! I am wishing, all the things you ever dreams and whished for, to come true!!!

 

My girlfriend's birthday was yesterday!!! :D

If you forgot to call her then you don't deserve ANYTHING!

 

:):huh: Oh no!!! I will never forget them again...I hope!!! :D:lol:

 

Well, she was here that day, so I gave my wishes and my present, from close! :)

 

SO I deserve something, but...I do not deserve posting here for that! :lol::lol::lol:

Congratulations, You Win, You Win...Just not the coin!

 

 

:lol::huh::) So...what did I win??? I know!!! The love of my girlfriend!!! ;):D

 

I thnk I still have one post!

So..my last post will be the most serious one!

 

I do not deserve to win the coin for 2 reasons!!!

First reason is because there are so many other geocachers who really deserve it, and they posted here that they do not!!! So many great guys from all over the world!!! They all wellcomed me with smile, Some sended me a coin or more, to start my tiny collection!! I felt their warm welcome, I felt their feelings for a new geocacher....I feel the same too!!! :D

 

Second reason!!! I do not deserve a coin because when I entered in the geocaching.com and the foroums, I was afraid to say that I am a coin and banknote collector! I thought that if I was saying that, they all probably say...if he collects coins (normal coins), he will steal geocoins from caches!! I admitt that I was afraid of that! You probably saw that my English is not the best! When I wrote my first post! I did a mistake! I translated Greek into English!!! So, I wrote that I wanted to find a Greek geocoin and keep it with me for ever! The greek geocoin was the reason I am here as a geocacher!! when I realised that this could easily get missunderstood, I posted a note explain that when I was writting "to find a geocoin and keep it for ever", I was actually meant to find one and buy it!!! I was so scared that I was missunderstood and since I was a coin & banknote collector, I was so afraid that.....:(

Of course now I know that I was completely wrong!!! My geocaching family, all of you are so great!!!! :D

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#1 I don't deserve to win because I almost never come in this forum, I never enter cointests, and you'll need to send me email to tell me if I won because I probably won't look at this thread again and I actually only read the OP and hit reply.

 

#2 I keep posting pics from my Nude Cacher Locationless Terracache on my local forum which got a few people's panties in a bunch and I almost don't care. :)

 

#3 I can't stop spamming threads with my Lemur hallucinations:

 

(6000-1)rtlemurcmyk2.jpg

 

The Thorazine haze lifts, only briefly, and I see I'm being wheeled somewhere.

 

The monkeys were after me again for my supply of bug powder. They said they needed to inject it into their genitals for inspiration on a new version of Hamlet they were working on.

 

I told the monkeys that I was all out of bug powder, but they didn't believe me. They defecated into their hands and threw it at me. Then they began punching themselves in their genitals until they passed out.

 

The monkeys weren't the worst. It was the lemurs that really got to me......They.....

 

The haze lifts again and I feel motion. I'm in a vehicle of some sort. A helicopter, I think.....

 

8598005_3607289c15_m.jpg

 

Prosimian eyes just freak me out! The lemurs were always questioning.... questioning..... questioning.

 

They wanted the recipe for the Colonel's fried chicken and they wouldn't take no for an answer. The black one with the blue eyes kept picking at its rear, smelling its fingers and hooting for no apparent reason. The red-eyed one looked mean and I was a bit frightened by it.

 

Then the questioning resumed. NOW, they wanted an answer to the unified field theory in five minutes, or they were going to rip my lips off and eat them with honey mustard. I tried to explain that the best scientists in the world couldn't find a solution to gravity and electromagnetism at the quantum level. The blue eyed one stopped smelling its fingers and punched me in the genitals......

 

Turbulence, hushed voices, yellow lights.... I stir to reality again and see that I'm still in the helicopter. Flying. There's a large mandrill baboon strapped onto the gurney to my right......... It looks pis$ed off.

 

There's a tube running between us. My GOD! Are its fluids running into me or mine into it?!!!!! Blessed Thorazine interrupts this revelation.....

 

"Don't bogart that ant farm," said the Aye-Aye as it snatched the child's toy from me and used a modified digit to pluck out a plump worker ant.

 

p-aye4.jpg

 

I only had a moment to realize that I was back in my prosimian nightmare when I notice the taste of blood and the open jar of honey mustard.

 

My lower lip was a shredded mass of chewed flesh. Surprisingly it didn't hurt. After all, I WAS dreaming......

 

My red-eyed tormentor returned. This time he wanted to know the last number of Pi. I tried to say 4, but he was too smart for me. He knew that there was more.... I smart talked him and said somewhere between zero and nine. He bit my upper lip off in a flash and turned to get the jar of mustard......

 

Voices from outside my haze....

 

"We're losing him!"

 

"CLEAR!"

 

.................

 

16837Mandrill_7-17-04_56L-med.jpg

 

The people in white coats are hovering over the mandrill I see.... and then I smile... remembering getting laid to that song by Peter Gabriel...... the beat of the song went over and over in my head..... dunta, dunt-dunt, dunta.... I shook my head trying to clear it.....dunta, dunt-dunt, dunta.....dunta, dunt-dunt, dunta.... I half-sang, half-whispered: "don't you monkey with the monkey" and smiled some more..... remembering.... what she did next.......

 

Voices again......

 

"He's coming around! Turn up the drip..."

 

"But Doctor, he's had too much already!"

 

Blackness..............................

 

I stir to the sound of..... of what? Gunfire? It's close, but my eyes are covered. I'm so doped up that all the voices just sound like buzzing.......

 

drwn000.jpg

 

Fulvus. That's what the old lemur called himself. He was the one who replaced the other tormentors. Fulvus demanded that I explain String Theory to him in laymen's terms and every time I used a word that had more than 3 syllables, he'd urinate on me and hoot loudly into my ears as punishment.

 

The red-eyed lemur and the black one with the blue eyes returned and old Fulvus bid a hasty retreat.

 

Both of them urinated on me, presumably to cover Fulvus' scent, but I got the distinct impression that they didn't like me, so the act might have been twofold.

 

The black one was picking it's rear again and hooting and the red-eyed one looked really P-o'd. He began pacing about the room while the other one alternately smelled then licked its fingers and hooted.

 

The red-eyed one snatched the ant farm from the Aye-Aye who protested, "Bogart! Bogart!" He smashed it and walked back over to me. The Aye-Aye went to work cleaning up the ants while muttering curses toward my red-eyed tormentor.

 

deathlemur.jpg

 

Then the questioning resumed........

 

They wanted to know if I could get them both a date with Mariah Carey. Strangely, they began smearing honey mustard on my ears.

 

My tongue felt dry. Probably because I was minus a pair if lips in my prosimian nightmare world. I knew if I told them that I didn't even know her and had really lost respect for her after the release of Glitter that they were gonna munch my ears off.

 

Just then, an infinite number of howler monkeys, all carrying typewriters, burst into the room. Their wooting was deafening.

 

The head monkey, who called himself Henry the 8th, wanted me to read the script they had been working on.....

 

I feel the bandages ripped from my eyes and I awaken to blinding white light. At this point, I was certain that I was dead. I was just looking for that fabled tunnel when shapes began to solidify in my field of view......

 

Movement...... feelssss..... different? Not flying.... and back to.....

 

I seem to be aware of this (feeling of motion) while standing among an infinite number of dead howler monkeys. What is it with monkeys all dropping dead so suddenly? I remember some.... something that's sticking in my mind about dead monkeys.

 

The Aye-Aye is checking each dead monkey and then kicking them, exclaiming, "BOGART!"

 

I'm starting to wonder if the Aye-Aye is a bit off in the head.

 

My prosimian tormentors return.

 

What is it with Lemurs and their incessant questioning? I'm vaguely aware that I have no ears.

 

637222-small.jpgthumb_general.jpg

 

The black lemur with the startling blue eyes seems anxious. He explains to me that it's very important that he mate with Paris Hilton to advance his species' evolution. I told him that shouldn't be a problem and to get in line. He thanked me and left.

 

The red-eyed lemur produced a DVD copy of "Glitter" and ordered me to say two nice things about it. I said, "Well, it cost $4.99 and it's not actually IN a DVD player at the moment." My tormentor began to cry.......

 

The pothole rocked the ambulance with such force that my stretcher overturned. I feel pain; it seems farrrrr off in my Thorazine haze.......

 

Huh? Through my haze I hear music. It sounds like white guys trying to rap, but singing like the Beach Boys.....

 

..... Then I let the Alpine play.

It was pumpin' new $#!^ by N.W.A.

It was Gangsta-Gangsta at the top of the list.

Then I played my own $#!^ it went sumthin like this:

 

Cruisin' down the street in my six-fo

Jockin the b!tches

Slappin the HOs

 

............

 

The four black and white lemurs started to complain.

 

040705_masaolaindex.jpg

 

They said that Rap died with Tupoc and that .......

 

I tuned them out. What was I missing?........

 

It came to me in a flash. I grabbed the nearest lemur and asked it what it heard....

 

(I was vaguely aware that my lips and ears had returned and the infinite number of infinitely dead howler monkeys had disappeared along with my previous tormentors.)

 

It said "Chill puffy, that Aye-Aye has bad taste in music." Then it asked if I could teach it Sign Language.

 

I whirled around to see the Aye-Aye. It was smoking a foul smelling cigar. It regarded me almost disdainfully and said, "Bogart!"

 

The second lemur interrupted this exchange by asking how many licks it really took to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

 

The third wanted to know if I would co-sign for financing on the Ferrari 550 Maranello it just bought. I started to ask how it learned to drive when fourth interrupted.

 

The fourth lemur was holding a strange looking bag with a hose on it. It wanted me to give it a colonic. I was so repulsed by this that my dream world started to shimmer and melt away.

 

I awoke in a........ A what? It looked like a disused lavatory.

 

I was chained to a pipe by one leg. There was another person on the far side of the room. He appeared to be chained as well.

 

In the middle of the floor was a corpse lying face down in a pool of blood. It appeared to have a self inflicted gunshot wound in the head. The gun lay nearby. I tried, but I couldn't reach it................

 

Now the 4 Lemurs are in the disused lavatory with me and the unidentified man across the room.

 

Still dreaming I realize.......

 

The lemurs link hands and dance around the corpse in the middle of the room. Their stomping splashes blood from the crimson pool emanating from the corpses head, in an ever widening arc.

 

They're singing a song.....

 

I wish I was in Tijuana

Eating barbecued iguana......

 

This is all too much for me.....

 

Blackness envelops again........

 

Oh geeze here come the lemurs again. That beeyotch musta slipped me a mickey....

 

The black and white lemur leapt up to me and said, "G'Day with an Aussie accent."

 

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore him, but I kept wondering why in hell a prosimian from Madagascar would be sporting an Aussie accent.

 

He punched me in the genitals to get my attention. He claimed to be a lawyer hired by the monkeys to arbitrate a deal for my supply of bug powder.

 

I covered my crotch with both hands, closed my eyes and tried to tune him out. He used his freaky little hands to peel back my eyelids and kept right on talking.

 

Lc_Foot.jpeg

 

I couldn't take any more. I reached into my pocket and produced a rather large baggie of yellowish powder. The lemur tasted, smiled, and produced a test kit from the briefcase it was holding. It set up its equipment at a nearby table and the whole operation was eagerly watched over by several other lemurs of different species. One seemed to be setting up a Bunsen burner. After awhile they all began hooting and yelling, "99% PURE!"

 

They passed out syringes and began injecting the liquefied bug powder into their genitals.

 

I asked the lawyerly lemur why, because I was under the impression that only the monkeys used the powder for inspiration on their many adaptations of Shakespeare's works. The lawyerly lemur explained that they could "step on" the product a bit because it was so pure and besides they themselves had an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent to write and they needed to be altered to write lines for Vincent D' Onofrio anyway.....

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Oh bother I guess I won, now I will have to go activate the coin and think of a good mission for it. Well off I go to activate the coin......

 

 

Oh I guess I should also say thanks to Write Shop Robert for picking me as a winner and for putting on the uncointest.

Edited by Love Bugs
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Oh bother I guess I won, now I will have to go activate the coin and think of a good mission for it. Well off I go to activate the coin......

 

 

Oh I guess I should also say thanks to Write Shop Robert for picking me as a winner and for putting on the uncointest.

 

Congratulations on you winning :laughing:

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Four of the Coins have been activated, and are all prepared to travel. I have them in my inventory, and will have a Photo Session before releasing them. I wanted to do all five together, but if it takes too long on the last one, they may be moving before that.

 

Opps, sorry about that. I will activate my coin as soon as I get home tonight. :unsure:

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