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Parody: Features of the Garmin (insert your state name here)


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Garmin Missouri

 

Has new & improved ARCH antenna for enhanced reception

Heat and humidity resistance

Earthquake resistant for those in the New Madrid area

Built in depth finder calls out, "Mark Twain!"

Will 'Show-Me' the cache

When you find the cache the official state Bluebird 'of happiness' will appear

Comes with Topographic Map of the Lewis and Clark trail through Missouri

Tornado Advoidance (steers you away from trailer parks in bad weather)

Complete POI's for the A-B Brewery and all outlet sell A-B Beer

 

Cache On!

 

JohnTee

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Garmin Washington: Built in windshield wiper.

 

Also includes:

~Waterproof

 

~Comes in "Evergreen Green"

 

~Made from 100% post consumer recycled materials

 

~Rain gauge to prove that it doesn't really rain 'THAT' much...

 

~Unique icons to classify rain as: rain, showers, drizzle, mist, isolated showers, spot showers, scattered showers, and widespread showers

 

~Pill compartment for convenient storage of your seasonal depression medication (usually used Jan to Mar when it's drizzle and highs of 40s every day)

 

~Californian driver proximity alert/warning

 

~Starbucks proximity alert

 

 

That's the best I can do tonight... ;-)

 

ps. note that I have no real personal grudge against Californians and New York get's more annual rainfall than Washington State. ;-)

 

Garmin Washington:

 

Gives a warning beep when someone is about to pawn off their Crab Apples off on you.

 

Is able to spot tourist by the magnetic field from their umbrellas.

 

The models name changed from the numbers series to types of Salmon. The 200 is now called the Humpie, 300 = Coho, and the 400T = Chinook T.

 

The Eastern Washington Edition Contains POIs to all of the "You Pick" cherry picking places.

 

The Eastern Washington Edition smells like sage brush.

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It even kind of "inspired" the version I came up with in my entry. Another one.....(totally unrelated)

 

Garmin CONNECTICUT

 

1) If you're on I-95/Merritt Parkway or the navigation involves these roads, the GPS becomes very slow most of the time, sometimes getting "stuck".

 

2) If you want to navigate to New York, it wants you to stay in Connecticut. The talking version for the car extols the benefits of such. If you're in NY, it wants you to come to CT and stay there.

 

3) While in or navigating to the southwestern part of the state, it costs a lot more in battery power than elsewhere/other times.

 

4) GPS can't tell whether it's in the NY metropolitan area or the New England region.

 

But, You forgot the best features!

 

5) claims that Geocaching (or any sport) will save the state economy, Only to be doublecrossed by the Garmin Massachusetts edition, which keeps the patriotic caches (sorry, couldn't resist.)

 

6) costs more in maintenance.

 

7) Unable to fix on a steep hill, it makes constant expensive re-calculations to make you think it's working, Only to still have the same problems. (Ala Avon Mountain.. I was almost that bus, with the dumptruck accident. 5 minutes after I passed that intersection)

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