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Funny DNFs


imajeep

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I looked for an existing thread to attach this story to, but couldn't find one--so I'll start one.

 

Ever had a hunt that went spectacularly wrong? An idea that seemed really good at the time, but ended up making you look like an absolute idiot? Come on, all of us are idiots some of the time (and some of us are idiots all of the time!).

 

I'll make an initial contribution, my hunt for Yerkes' Tap. Here's the DNF I posted. It may be difficult to look any sillier than this!

Edited by imajeep
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I logged one DNF and was quite frustrated. It was a beautiful place to hide a cache, and I spent over an hour looking. I went back with my son a week later. After another exhaustive search, we did not find it. I looked on the cache page again for a hint, only to learn that I had plugged in the coordinates incorrectly and was 15 miles off.

On the bright side, I stumbled onto a great area, and plan to hide a cache there soon.

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My good friends stopped by one morning and asked if I wanted to tag along with them to hit the Project Ape cache in Indiana (I am in Ann Arbor, Michigan). Sure! They gave me the coordinate and off we went. When we got to the area it was a farm field. We drove entirely around the waypoint on the farm roads. yep...field. So we checked the printout and found we'd punched in a wrong number...a BIG number. 120 miles due West. In Illinois. Pedal down Gary! We hit the cache at dusk. Then had a 5 hour drive back home. It was a blast!

 

Wait. That was no DNF!!! :rolleyes:

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I've had two that were pretty funny, both involving my wife.

 

I bought a Lowrance iFinder Go2 because my eMap was a pain for geocaching. As it started to get dark, I thought I would try to show my wife how to enter coordinates for one last cache. I pulled up the proper screen, gave her the GPS and let her input the numbers. I then told her to tell me where to drive.

 

I sorta knew where the cache was by using Google maps. Anywho, she takes me across a parking lot and says its north of here. How far? Looks like its in the next parking lot. I look at the GPS and the cache is 3,000 miles away. She had punched in the wrong coordinates. Took a DNF that night -- had to come back during daylight to get that one.

 

Next one was apparently in the fork of a tree, too tall for us to reach or see into. She was looking all around on the ground when I re-read the description and hint and figured out where it was. Took a DNF on that one as we had no way to confirm the location.

 

Several days later we came back with a mirror and indeed saw the cache down in a hollow in the fork of the tree. I knelt on the ground and tried to get my wife to step up on my back to snag the cache. She couldn't step up for some reason, and wanted to go to the house for a ladder. I kinda got upset and told her I didn't want another DNF on this one. After much cursing, she somehow sat and then crawled up my back and finally got the cache, but I was in pain for a couple of days afterward.

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I've had two that were pretty funny, both involving my wife.

 

I bought a Lowrance iFinder Go2 because my eMap was a pain for geocaching. As it started to get dark, I thought I would try to show my wife how to enter coordinates for one last cache. I pulled up the proper screen, gave her the GPS and let her input the numbers. I then told her to tell me where to drive.

 

I sorta knew where the cache was by using Google maps. Anywho, she takes me across a parking lot and says its north of here. How far? Looks like its in the next parking lot. I look at the GPS and the cache is 3,000 miles away. She had punched in the wrong coordinates. Took a DNF that night -- had to come back during daylight to get that one.

 

Next one was apparently in the fork of a tree, too tall for us to reach or see into. She was looking all around on the ground when I re-read the description and hint and figured out where it was. Took a DNF on that one as we had no way to confirm the location.

 

Several days later we came back with a mirror and indeed saw the cache down in a hollow in the fork of the tree. I knelt on the ground and tried to get my wife to step up on my back to snag the cache. She couldn't step up for some reason, and wanted to go to the house for a ladder. I kinda got upset and told her I didn't want another DNF on this one. After much cursing, she somehow sat and then crawled up my back and finally got the cache, but I was in pain for a couple of days afterward.

 

I'd have paid money to see that last one!

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I'd have paid money to see that last one!

 

This was in a city park -- hopefully no one snapped a photo or got video. I'm thinking seriously about making a fold-up ladder or step-stool that will fit in a pack.

 

I did get another DNF this weekend, which I probably won't go back for.

 

There are four caches in a local city park with some really serious terrain as far as creeks, hills, dense brush, briars, etc... I hit the first two, no problem, other than quite a few scrapes and scratches, despite jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. My wife thought I had been attacked by a herd of cats.

 

Looked high and low for the third -- never did find it even though its a 50 cal ammo box. Got the forth easily, but got turned around and wound up having to cut through someone's back yard and walking a half mile back to the car. Thought briefly about finding a big dog or a locked gate, but figured if there was no back fence it was probably safe. Felt bad about having to take the shortcut, but there was a well-worn path, so I figured I wasn't the first.

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This one was one of our first caches that we attempted, it was in a heavily overgrown area of a local park that we tried three separate times and couldn't find. Eventually the cache was deactivated.

 

You had to park on the top of a dam, walk down the rocks to the lower area, cross a stream that was too big for my 10 year old daughters to jump, so we had to find a log where I would stand and they would jump onto, from which I would throw them across to the other side. Upon landing each one would successively complain about how they hurt themselves on landing. They were really overdoing it too, tears flowing and the whole thing. I knew how hard they landed and they couldn't possibly have hurt themselves. My wife gets across and complains as well, at this point I'm started to get a little ticked off at how much they're complaining about a little adventure.

 

I jump across and land in the middle of a patch of stinging nettles, which all three had landed in before me. Hurt like crazy, but I couldn't let on at this point. So I get up and pretend as if all is fine. We search and search, couldn't find the cache. I wasn't going to let this one go, but my wife says we ought to leave because my arm is swollen - apparently, I am allergic to stinging nettles. It was burning like crazy at this point, so we find another spot to cross the stream where I wash off my arm a little and then we got to the car where we had some Benadryl that we all applied, and were fine within 15 minutes.

 

We all laugh about that stupid cache whenever we pass the park.

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I'd have paid money to see that last one!

 

This was in a city park -- hopefully no one snapped a photo or got video. I'm thinking seriously about making a fold-up ladder or step-stool that will fit in a pack.

 

 

Sadly, the cache has been disabled. Our recent monsoon rains apparently washed the cache and all the leaf debris out of the fork in the tree. The cache is probably between here and the Gulf of Mexico by now.

 

Here is the cache:

 

deciduous bifurcate

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today was my very first ever attempt at caching, and since I dont yet have a GPS I thought Id do a quick 'grab n go' that I scouted using google maps. Well after about 5 minutes of searching, with only a vague idea of what it could look like, and wearing my good work clothes still, a goose came and chased me! :lol: I had to scramble back to my car, and my muggle boyfriend wants to know what I expected out of going on a wild goose chase... Ah well, off to log my first attempt!

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I'd have paid money to see that last one!

 

This was in a city park -- hopefully no one snapped a photo or got video. I'm thinking seriously about making a fold-up ladder or step-stool that will fit in a pack.

 

 

Sadly, the cache has been disabled. Our recent monsoon rains apparently washed the cache and all the leaf debris out of the fork in the tree. The cache is probably between here and the Gulf of Mexico by now.

 

Here is the cache:

 

deciduous bifurcate

 

Now reincarnated:

My Webpagedeciduous bifurcate subsequent emergence

 

Sadly, the same guy who got the FTF on the original cache also got it on the new one. How hard was that? Said he waited a day for someone else to FTF first.

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Try this one...

 

It started as an inocent drive to church in a new town (I'd just moved.) I wasn't sure where the church was, exactly, so I missed the turn-off without knowing it, and kept on driving... panicked when I realized that there was a tollbridge over to Iowa just ahead... and it looked like a rickety toolbridge at that. I absolutely hate driving over bridges, so I turned right into a camping ground/park at the last possible minute.

 

Sat there in the car, pulled out the GPS for some reason, and thought... "Hey, neat, there's a cache 400 feet away... and I still have ten minutes!" So I got out of the car, leaving my purse inside, and hurried off to find the cache - the coords led me to what looked like a miniature lake with a pole sticking up in the very center. Being dressed for church, in leaky shoes, I decided not to go for it, went back to the car.

 

The keys were in the ignition still, laughing at me. The nearest phone was a quarter mile down the road. Pay phone, of course, and me with no change... managed to contact roadside assistance. Waited in the increasing dark and cold for the locksmith.

 

Oh, and the cache in question? Turned out to be the first stage of a 5 part, 10 mile multi.

 

:);):D

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A new cache appeared on a horse trail near my house so I decided to bring my horse. I got to the area and dismounted. I looked around a bit, but was restricted to the length of the reins for distances I could look off the the trail. I saw a great stump a few feet away, and decided to let go of the horse for a brief moment to check, hoping the horse wouldn't notice. Of course the horse realized she was free, and took off towards hom. At least I'd tucked the reins up so I knew she wouldn't get tangled, but I had to kick myself for the bad horse sense, and worry about her and any other people she may have passed on the way home. I found her at home, perfectly fine, and no frightened hikers or horseback riders on the way home.

 

I returned later that day on foot. As it turns out, it was in a birdhouse...I could have reached it without even getting off the horse .

 

Next time I bring the horse I'll have to remember a halter to tire her up with.

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I was under a walking bridge searching around, knowing I was dead on in my hunt. This is a walking trail that was put in a few years ago, so I was happy to be able to find a day where there was nobody around. I am over 1/2 mile from the parking lot. So there I am, happily crawling around and I hear odd noises on the bridge above me. I crawl out and there are two women, setting up a TABLE & chairs right in the middle of the path! I don't know what they were doing, but it was a bit bizarre! We just smiled at each other - them sitting at their folding table and me, covered in mud, and off I went. I never did find out what they were doing there!

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I wish I lived closer that this one. Shows like fun to find and retrieve.

 

If I was 20 years younger, and 150 lbs lighter I would have given it a shot. Now that I am older and much bigger gravity plays into this find, and I know that I would have to log something like this.

 

[/u]Got the cache, and a helo ride to the hospital. Note to cache owner, cache will have to be moved back 20 feet, because I took 20 feet off the hiding spot.

 

I have been there twice now, and it is just not going to hold my girth. ;)

 

Oh well I will find a 5/5 that is closer to the ground, or maybe under water, or something like that.

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I was under a walking bridge searching around, knowing I was dead on in my hunt. This is a walking trail that was put in a few years ago, so I was happy to be able to find a day where there was nobody around. I am over 1/2 mile from the parking lot. So there I am, happily crawling around and I hear odd noises on the bridge above me. I crawl out and there are two women, setting up a TABLE & chairs right in the middle of the path! I don't know what they were doing, but it was a bit bizarre! We just smiled at each other - them sitting at their folding table and me, covered in mud, and off I went. I never did find out what they were doing there!

 

They were probably playing some sort of crazy world-wide game that none of us no about and were wondering what the crazy muggle (they call them muggles in their game too probably) was was doing under the bridge, and have now written about it on a forum about a someone crawling around under the bridge when they thought they finally had te area to themselves.

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I was under a walking bridge searching around, knowing I was dead on in my hunt. This is a walking trail that was put in a few years ago, so I was happy to be able to find a day where there was nobody around. I am over 1/2 mile from the parking lot. So there I am, happily crawling around and I hear odd noises on the bridge above me. I crawl out and there are two women, setting up a TABLE & chairs right in the middle of the path! I don't know what they were doing, but it was a bit bizarre! We just smiled at each other - them sitting at their folding table and me, covered in mud, and off I went. I never did find out what they were doing there!

 

They were probably playing some sort of crazy world-wide game that none of us no about and were wondering what the crazy muggle (they call them muggles in their game too probably) was was doing under the bridge, and have now written about it on a forum about a someone crawling around under the bridge when they thought they finally had te area to themselves.

 

THAT is hilarious! I would love it if there were some muggle writing about me on another forum - what a hoot that would be! ;)

 

I love the drowned story - glad you caught that one in a picture, cause it definately adds to the story!

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During the 4th of july last year we were on vacation visiting an Air Force buddy of mine in Burlington, Wisconsin and while we were there i asked if i could take my son out to search for some caches way up north. Myself being from El Paso, TX i was really looking forward to this. we went searching for a cache named "Blood Donor" the name alone should have been a hint. long story short, we walked aways into the forest and were immediately attacked by hundreds of mosquitoes. My buddy was bleeding from at least 10 different areas. that DNF really sucked. :)

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June 10 by Keruso (82 found)

all went fine for this cache, was able to get the date down on a piece of paper, headed back to my car at the parking coords, with PSP and GPS in hand and found the coords for the cache. if i hadnt have been in a hurry to get somewhere, and wearing sandels, i may have actually found the cache. but thats not what made me leave. two years ago i tried for this cache with Red, and were interrupted by a muggle. that same "neighbourly muggle" put a damper on the hunt as i was looking...to be continued

i dont get much space for typing on a PSP.......

the biker looking muggle was staring at my car as he was putting out the trash, so i decided to stop hunting and get the heck out of dodge. he was still staring at me as i peeled away. ill be back to find this, i live right down the road from it

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From our log

 

Welcome to our nightmare cache. This was one of those hunts where everything went wrong. Where you curse the hider while you are hunting but forgive them after you FINALLY reach the car and give yourself a chance to laugh!

We didn't see the parking lot at the trail head. Totally missed it. We ended up parking at the park .3 miles up the road and walking down the road to the trail head. That was our first mistake. Cars wizzing by. Ugh. Then we started up the trail and for the life of us couldn't find the coordinates. Of course we were totally distracted by this woman on a horse who kept walking it by us telling us the horse thought we needed help..What? Weird? Finally we figured maybe just maybe we were on the wrong trail since it had split earlier. Off we went around the mountain. Mistake #2 We started walking... and walking... and walking. Then we were walking up a mountain. And UP a mountain. Of course we didn't bring anything with us even though we had promised ourselves we would be bringing water and such. Mistake #3. After some pretty hard core up hill hiking in what we hoped was the direction of the car I turned to Saz and said this is where people make their fatal mistakes right. Then a giant vulchure flew over our heads and we laughed. Then it flew over again and again. I told it that we were not dying even if we looked like it. By this point we were so darn far from the caches on this trail we put the gps away and prayed for the car. We kept going in the same direction and finally emerged at the total back area of the park we had parked in. We were so darn happy. We walked around the lake. Looked at some fish and finally made it back to the car. At this point we pretty much hated the hider lol. Once we got back into the car and got something to drink (almost a hour and a half later) we laughed and decided today was not the day for going back up the other side of the trail. We WILL be back for these two caches... after a while.. Oh and we don't hate you anymore LMAO!!!

Hellolost & Saz

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Saz's version of the same hunt from our blog

 

I believe this was when we got cocky enough to head into the hilly county park. There are some serious hiking trails, but also some nice walking trails, and there were two caches along one of the trails. I hoped it was one of the nice soft lake trails. We, uh, ended up in the friggin' outback. By accident of course. We could see the trail entrance on the right side of the road, so we parked and walked back to the entrance. Along the roadside. Cars whizzing by. Guess what was right beside the trail entrance? A GD parking lot. LOL So we enter the trail, and we've got two choices. A trail to the left and a trail to the right. We are at the junction of two different trails. A woman on a horse was guarding the trail on the right. I guess. Who knows what they were doing. Just standing there being weird. So we went left. We went as maybe as 100 feet, not having any success in picking up a coordinate. It's further along one of these trails. This one or that one?

While we are standing there considering, the woman on the horse comes walking by. "I guess she thinks you need some help", says the woman as they pass by. She attempts to converse with us but the horse has no interest and soon she's out of sight. Before we go any further up a trail following an animal who craps every three minutes, we decide to try our luck on the front part of the other trail.

Nothing. We aren't even close to either coordinate.

We'll walk down the trail a bit. It's rustic but not much work. Pausing every minute or so to check the GPS and hope for something encouraging, we pass a snake's skin lying on the trail. Hello: do you know what a rattlesnake sounds like? Yep, I answer, wondering if the maniacal running screaming from a snake was at hand. This would be a good spot for a serial killer to live, she remarks. Buzzards and vultures and hawks are stalking us. Horse poop everywhere. Now we've got imaginary murderers and rattle snakes to worry about, too. The trail starts uphill. I am fairly sure we have no further to go to get to the car than we've already been, so there's no point to turning back unless the trail is impassable. It's severely rutted but okay for walking, so we haul our asses up a steep climb and when we finally get to the top, my heart is trying to bang straight through my chest and I am so out of breath and I can feel my face flaming.

If we had proper caching packs, we'd have had water with us. We didn't have a frickin' thing. One day we'll get set up right.

The walk is easier now that we've got to the top and I am breathing slow and deep, trying to get back to where I can speak without huffing and puffing. There is a man ahead of us on the trail. He stops to inspect little houses along a fence just off the trail. A cacher! Let's follow him! He inspects every little birdhouse looking thing, and when he's left we check it out. I can find no way to open this box, but up the trail we can see him and it sure looks like he is opening these little houses. I have no idea what he was doing. We come down the trail into the small lake area where we left the car. Guess what's directly on the left? The other trail. The one we left to try the demon trail instead. What must be a shorter and easier walk, a shortcut, if you will, to the loopy piece of s*** that we just finished. The caches have to be along this trail, but neither of us have the heart for it right now. We walk into the lake area, take a look at what's going on, take a look at the lake. Hello points out a swirly spot where she says a big fish is. I watch the swirly spot and pretty soon I do see a big fish! Kind of light colored with brown spots in very shallow water. Maybe a catfish?So we get to the car. Admonish ourselves for heading down the trail with no water, even though we had no intention of taking a hike like that, but refuse to call it a failure. It was the horse's fault. We'll take the right trail and outfit for it next time. This is a hold, not a giving up.

Edited by Hellolost
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Caching the other day on my lunch hour, bicycled over to a member only cache located in a neighborhood traffic circle. The circle is xeriscaped very nicely in High Desert fashion - sage, wildflowers and various cacti. I THOUGHT I was being careful, but no.... turned around and ran my right shin straight into the pointy end of a spiny Aloe Vera looking type plant. Did I have first aid with me? NO! (This is an urban- still no excuse!) Did I leave a bloody trail all the way back to work? Yes!

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Caching the other day on my lunch hour, bicycled over to a member only cache located in a neighborhood traffic circle. The circle is xeriscaped very nicely in High Desert fashion - sage, wildflowers and various cacti. I THOUGHT I was being careful, but no.... turned around and ran my right shin straight into the pointy end of a spiny Aloe Vera looking type plant. Did I have first aid with me? NO! (This is an urban- still no excuse!) Did I leave a bloody trail all the way back to work? Yes!

My best DNF story actually happened about 500' away from the above mentioned cache that has since been archived. For those visiting the area, really, this area is not that bad! ;)

Edited by LostinReno
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Copy from our Log when we first started caching. Mabugirl (13 years old at the time) is my daugher. Bachlors Grove is a cemetary inside some forest preserves well known by the local teens (and adults), for decades, as a 'spooky/haunted' type of place. One thing I forgot to note in this log is I was such a newbie staring at the GPS, I was only a couple feet away from stepping/falling INTO a well. A quick warning by the teen saved Mama.

 

P.S. excuse the grammer/spelling errors as this was is a copy/paste with no corrections.

--------------------------------------------

Well this was visit 6 of 6 for our mama/daughter day. Mabugirl and I made our way from Bachlors grove across a little creek. Was low enough to keep our shoes dry. On the way Mabugirl told a ghost story she had heard. I'm not a believer of ghost I say. We come to a part of the woods that had obviously been burned out by some type of forest fire. It was around noon and quiet as can be... except for the creaking of the trees. See it was extremely windy and them trees would go CREEEEEEk.. groannnn creeek. I whisper a reminder to myself that I don't believe in ghosts. Extremely unnerving!

Mabugirl was starting to get a little freeked when all the sudden my GPS starts moving all over the place. Now remember I'm quite new to using a GPS and never have seen it do this before. After messing with it a moment I knew it was just having problems keeping contact with the trees swaying like they were. First our position would swing one way (saying we were walking 60MPH!!!) and then way another way! After about 15 minutes it settled down somewhat but was still highly unaccurate. We tried to use it best we could to see if we could narrow down a search area... scoped out quite a few likely hidey spots for a cache this size but were coming up empty.

 

Between the burned up trees, wacked out GPS, creeking an groaning, mabugirl scared witless (I was starting to get freaked out because she was LOL) we decided 40 minutes was enough of a search this time! Time to high tail it outta there. :)

 

Interesting note... on the way back over the creek we saw our shoe prints in the mud. There had clearly been some dear that walked through after we left and a BIG OLD print.. as large as my hand.. of some kind of wolf (are there wolfs there?) or wild dog (have a hard time imagining how big it was!). It was a very deep impression...part of it over the back half of mabugirl's shoe print. And that thing had some nails that went wayyyy in the mud. If you think we were hightailing it before we booked after that (after I actually picked up a huge stick... no joke) we were that freaked.

 

Of course we laughed at ourselves once back at the car... but will admit we were 2 scared girlies. I am sure we will be back to search again.. but this time we bringing more company and saving it for a non-windy (creekfree) day! :) That's our story and I'm stickin' to it!

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I was searching for a cache about 15 feet off the path I came in on. After a couple of minutes I heard voices and they weren't the voices I usually hear in my head. Sure enough I see a couple holding hands coming down the path I came in on.

OK i don't want them to see me and start asking questions so I quietly slip behind a tree and wait for them to pass.

When they get within 15 feet from where I'm standing they sit down and start having lunch. Both of them had their backs towards me. great!!! now what do I do?

After a couple of minutes i just started walking further into the woods and found another way out.

I don't know if they ever knew I was there. I just kept walking. probably scared the hell out of them.

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I looked for an existing thread to attach this story to, but couldn't find one--so I'll start one.

 

Ever had a hunt that went spectacularly wrong? An idea that seemed really good at the time, but ended up making you look like an absolute idiot? Come on, all of us are idiots some of the time (and some of us are idiots all of the time!).

 

I'll make an initial contribution, my hunt for Yerkes' Tap. Here's the DNF I posted. It may be difficult to look any sillier than this!

 

I spent the last two years living in MN where I attended college. about 2.5 hours south of me was a cache at a veterans memorial park- and it just so happens it was right near my national guard armory. my first attempt to find this micro was fruitless. as were the second-5th attempts....so I decided to use technology to help guide the way.(don't read this next part if you don't want a great way to verify a location prior to heading out the door) google earth: it's a free program that gives satellite imagery anywhere on earth! long story short, I plotted the coordinates into the program, and it put me in a large pine tree, which is also what my gps gave me as a location final. after spending another 3 attempts (remembering that I only venture down this way one weekend every month for my military duty) I finally emailed the owner to ask for a hint, he would offer none. finally as i'm moving out of MN back to new england I drove past and gave it one last try...I spent over an hour in each of my previous attempts, scouring the same areas over and over. On this last attempt I looked in a place I thought i'd looked 100 times over, but there it was, a mag hide a key right under a sign..... worst luck ever. the cache that took over 12 months to find

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There's a puzzle/multi cache over on the East Coast that many folks had voted # 1.

After a horrendously long time solving the clues, I called my buddy Mark, who lives nearby, and told him I wanted to give it a shot.

He says, "Sure, Why not?" and blows through the puzzles in record time, then we were off.

There's been a history of folks logging the cache using poetic verse, so I tried following suit.

Note: The "Pooh" & "Grandma" reference refer to stages you need to recover prior to getting to the final.

 

Quite a while back,

I called my friend Mark.

Said “We need to find a challenge,

not some film can in a park”.

 

As the votes all piled in,

this cache, much like cream,

rose to the top of the pile.

Could it be all we dreamed?

 

“Best on the East Coast”,

many fine cachers claimed.

Could it really be this good,

or are they derainged?

 

I set out to solve it,

just barely getting done,

while Mark blasted through it,

like a tater from a gun.

 

What took me several weeks,

took him just a few hours.

Kinda made me jealous,

seeing all that mental power.

 

When I was a wee Riffster,

not much more than a kid,

my Dad said “Don’t get smart!”

So I never did.

 

Yet somehow I managed,

without melting my brain,

and gathered all the data,

that I’d need in yon’ terrain.

 

We drove to the area,

our expectations were high.

We visited Pooh and Grandma,

they said to tell you, “Hi!”

 

We then set out in earnest,

resolve set in our jaws.

We weren’t coming out of the woods,

till the cache was in our paws.

 

We found where we needed,

to cross the little crick,

discovering that the trickle,

had turned into the River Styx.

 

Gazing at the swamp before us,

filled us both with dread.

We expected to see a Hellhound,

With multiple snarling heads.

 

Cerebus they call him,

a quite unfriendly dog.

Yet he would’ve fit right in,

in this God forsaken bog.

 

When we set out on our journey,

we weren’t sure what we’d find there.

Mark had dressed in nice work clothes,

I had dressed for bear.

 

So I left mark behind,

as I tromped through primordial goo.

That sucking sound he heard,

was me losing my left shoe.

 

Just a little while later,

A loud “snap” filled the air.

Twas just me twisting my knee.

No reason to despair.

 

When the water reached my nipples,

flowing fast and rather tanic,

something quite big brushed my leg.

No reason to panic!

 

The fourth time that I crossed

the river straight from Hell,

I twisted my right ankle.

Ain’t that friggin swell?

 

I finally reached Ground Zero,

my poor heart bursting with pride.

Or was that just a heart attack,

I felt deep down inside?

 

I searched until the sun set,

getting more and more stressed,

till I finally decided,

I must log a DNF.

 

Just a dinky little light,

was all I had with me,

to light my way back to Mark.

That proved rather risky.

 

My knee popped yet again,

as I limped out through the tar.

I muttered under my breath,

“My truck is how dang far?”

 

We finally made it back,

replacing the items we borrowed.

We couldn’t feel frustration,

we didn’t feel sorrow.

 

Twere only feelings of awe,

that both of us survivors had,

for that stinkin’ little lizard,

And his creator, Brad.

 

Reach your arm up and over,

pat yourself right on the back.

This cache deserves high praise.

I’m just citing facts.

 

As I put on fresh bandages,

and throw my clothes in the trash,

I just gotta say one time,

“THANX FOR THE AWESOME CACHE!”

 

We’ll be back!

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