+Vinny & Sue Team Posted March 17, 2008 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I never know when Vinny is kidding, so I always assume that he is. This time I think he's not, and further believe that his post is absolutely correct!... I think there may be a fair number of us who would, if asked by him, advise the man "RUN!" Exactly, I was not kidding. I was, at one time, a practicing psychotherapist while in a doctoral-level training program in clinical psychology in grad school (and eventually switched to another field, not because I was tired of my clients and their problems, but rather because I was incredibly weary of my insane fellow psych students and psych colleagues, and tired of the insanity of many of my psych professors...!) In any case, speaking from my particular perspective, it has been my experience that such boundary issues and related communication issues can often shift a lot in just a few sessions of short-term psychotherapy. As far as advising the man to "run", I do not necessarily agree with Ed. Guessing from Eve's tale, her partner may have a few communication issues and other issues as well, and, in any case, such boundary issues as I referenced earlier can often shift pretty quickly if people can just realize what they are doing and that there is a different and far better way to manage relationships and boundaries. In any case, everyone brings a few issues and problems to an intimate relationship, even to the best of relationships, and I feel that it is not necessarily wisest to run at the first sign that your partner has a few issues or problems! Much as some of the other recent posters on this thread have shared, my wife Sue and I have vastly different interests in the caching world; she loves to cache non-stop from dawn till after dusk for at least 3-4 days a week, time and budget permitting, whereas I tend to go after only one, two or three caches per month at most, and I usually carefully select them for either high terrain rating (i.e., terrain rating of 4 or above), or for being a really interesting or weird cache, and I usually cannot tolerate finding more than about three caches in one day, and never, at the max, more than seven or eight in one day. Sue, on the other hand, loves puzzle caches, loves to do all-day and multi-day caching road trips to nearby states, and can easily find 70 caches in one day, while any of those kinda activities would drive me MAD! So, we do not cache together often, and that works well for us. Same with my research field trips around the country; Sue never travels with me on those trips, because she would rather use her free time and budget to travel locally and find caches from dawn to midnight (I get ill just thinking of such things!) We both tend to be very independent anyway, and so our relationship only becomes stronger, happier and healthier because of the fact that we do many of our recreational and travel activities independently. We do share a few cache hunts together, and we also share some cache hiding and cache maintenance activities together, and, of course, we attend some geo events together (but again, the difference between us is that Sue attends about 32 geo events per year while I attend 3 events per year), and when we do any of these things, it is totally fun for both of us. Quote Link to comment
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