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Geocaching ruining a relationship


Adam-Eve
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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. :(

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

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My heart goes out to you. It must be hard slogging through swamps and other nasty areas. Adam is very inconsiderate, he should be working on finding Wally World LPC's, Park'n'Ride LPC's and of course the delightful dumpster hides. Then you would not have to contend with muddy legs. :(

 

Jim

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He should actually be ashamed of himself.

 

The fact that you're willing to go out with him caching says a lot, there are a lot of spouses that won't.

 

It should be something you two do together and he should have respect for you in that... BUT, you also have the power and ability to say "honey, I'm gonna sit in the car for this one, you go find it and have fun" and let him go. I do that on occasion, but we cache with 2 little ones and sometimes I stay in the car with one of them while he takes the older one, sometimes both girls and I stay in the car together.

 

It should be a give and take thing... and NO hobby is worth ruining a relationship over.

 

Good luck!

 

Naomi :(

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BUT, you also have the power and ability to say "honey, I'm gonna sit in the car for this one, you go find it and have fun" and let him go. Naomi <_<
As a guy I can say this is great advice. We are partners and one can/should be the voice of reason. Of course I'll admit that 99%, it would be the guy that would want to wade through a swamp to get to a cache... :(
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Somehow I get the distinct impression that it's not Geocaching per se that is 'ruining' your relationship but several things that are much more fundamental.

 

He likes (or at least doesn't mind) getting dirty...this is the SECOND time in a couple of weeks that you've come here and complained about dirty and yuck and such. If you've complained to us this much, chances are good that you've complained a whole lot more to him about it.

 

Two people in a relationship DON'T have to share ALL of their hobbies, maybe this is one that you're better off skipping altogether.

 

If you're determined to go along on geocaching trips, then you can either lighten up and accept that you're going to get dirty, bitten by bugs, etc. or you can take along a book to read in the car while he hunts for the cache OR you can convince him that every second cache has to be a citified one that you can do in heels... :(

 

But don't be blaming geocaching for some very fundamental differences in what is fun and what's not!!

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Me and my wife go caching all the time. Sometimes we find them together, sometimes not. I have a tendency to be a little more daring, and she's usually happy to take pictures. I've crossed freezing rivers and climbed rock faces to get caches, and she's taken pictures of every time - if nothing more than to document my last moments! :(

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I would have to agree that the geocaching does not appear to be the main hindrance to your relationship. The mere fact that you want to come to a public forum and complain about something as trivial as getting a little mud on your slacks points to something deeper.

 

Adam may be inconsiderate in this aspect, but he is having fun doing what he likes and apparently, you are not. Get a second life outside of Adams little world. That way, you have the best of both.

 

JMHO

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. :(

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

 

You should jump out of the car right now, sludge through the mud (i mean, you're already dirty, so why not?), get there before him and be waiting at the cache when he gets there. You will earn about a million billion awesome points and it will help your relationship alot more than sulking in the car posting on this messageboard.

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Be happy that you're not in this situation:

 

I'm sure everyone's heard Brad Paisley's "I'm Gonna Miss Her " (the fishing song)

 

...well I've made a few modifications to his lyrics in an attempt to make it the theme song for all of us cachers who have non-caching spouses.

 

(it helps to play the real version if you have it)

 

I'm Gonna Miss Her

 

Well I love her

But I love to cache

I spend all day out in this Jeep

And hell is all I find

But today she met me at the door

Said I would have to choose

If I turn that GPS on today

She'd be packin' all her things

And she'd be gone by noon

 

(insert sound of GPS turning on)

 

Well I'm gonna miss her

When I get home

But right now I'm on Puzzle Street

And I'm only stuck on one

I'm sure it'll hit me

When I’m chatting on ACGA tonight

Yeah I'm gonna miss her

Oh, lookie there, I’ve got a FTF

 

Now there's a chance that if I hurry

I could beg her to stay

But my Garmin’s loaded

And there’s a TB in the next one

No tellin' what milestone I’ll hit today

 

So I'm gonna miss her

When I get home

But right now I'm on a Boonies tour

And I'm on a power cachin’ run

I'm sure it'll hit me

When I’m loggin’ all my finds tonight

Yeah, I'm gonna miss her

Oh, lookie there, another Geocoin

 

Yeah, I'm gonna miss her

Oh, lookie there, a new cache came out tonight.

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Next time take both cell phones. Say "ok honey, you go from here and I'll wait, call if you need me". Soon as he gets out of sight take off using the more reasonable route. He will either finally get to the cache to see you alread signed it or turn around and head back to the car to find you back sitting dry and clean and ready to tell him about what a wonderful cache he missed. :(<_<

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. :(

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

 

You should jump out of the car right now, sludge through the mud (i mean, you're already dirty, so why not?), get there before him and be waiting at the cache when he gets there. You will earn about a million billion awesome points and it will help your relationship alot more than sulking in the car posting on this messageboard.

Married 36 years come August. If there's anything I can tell you that might help... you need to let him go geocaching, you go do something that you enjoy. Clinging and controlling, whining and certainly posting your issues here will never help!

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As has been said, there seems to be more at work here than just a difference of opinion on how to approach a cache. Crossing a busy highway while there is ample parking is not using good judgement. You both have not been caching very long, maybe you should take a break and let him go alone and get it out of his system? I'm a girly girl at heart and I know what you mean about mud and such, but I can tell you I have truly broken out of my girly girl comfort zone and will hike 2 hours in mud or 2 miles for a cache - much to my husband's amazement. I do it because my 12yo son likes it and it gets him out of the house doing something healthy and fun. I started out doing it for him, but now I'm doing it for me too.

 

What seems more evident, though, is your need for both of you to communicate what your caching day expectations are. If you don't want to get muddy, then don't participate in those caches and likewise, if Adam wants to cache, he should have some consideration for your wishes when caching together. But in any case, you really need to let him go and do what he wants - anything else will ruin a relationship - no matter what the subject. Sometimes this will allow you to step back and see the situation in a much clearer way and help determine whether or not it's a good one for you. Here's a virtual hug {{{HUGS}}} - hang in there kiddo.

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. :(

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

 

Sounds like you need more time to whip him into shape. <_< My wife would be like, Park there! (Yes, Dear) We should be going that way! (Yes Dear) You aren't thinking about heading down there are you? (No Dear)

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. :(

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

 

Sounds like you need more time to whip him into shape. <_< My wife would be like, Park there! (Yes, Dear) We should be going that way! (Yes Dear) You aren't thinking about heading down there are you? (No Dear)

:unsure: My wife would do the same thing and while she was telling me that, I'd recall one of my favorite Clint Eastwood lines from Two Mules for Sister Sara, "Nag, nag, nag." :unsure:
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Sounds like you need more time to whip him into shape. :( My wife would be like, Park there! (Yes, Dear) We should be going that way! (Yes Dear) You aren't thinking about heading down there are you? (No Dear)

 

Uh uh! It's more like: Park here! (No, Dear, that's not legal) sc3.gif We should be going this way! (No, Dear, that's the hard way) kissass.gif You aren't thinking about heading down there, are you? (Yes, Dear, you can take the long way if you want. I'm getting this sucker no matter what!) wah.gif

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Sounds like you need more time to whip him into shape. :( My wife would be like, Park there! (Yes, Dear) We should be going that way! (Yes Dear) You aren't thinking about heading down there are you? (No Dear)

 

Uh uh! It's more like: Park here! (No, Dear, that's not legal) sc3.gif We should be going this way! (No, Dear, that's the hard way) You aren't thinking about heading down there, are you? (Yes, Dear, you can take the long way if you want. I'm getting this sucker no matter what!) wah.gif

 

Yes dear.

Edited by BlueDeuce
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Don't feel like your alone out there. Read this article I wrote a few years ago for Today's Cacher Wives and caching.

 

El Diablo

 

Oh this is great! lol!!!

 

Thanks. On a rainy day, I needed that!

 

 

BTW, are you still married? :(<_<:unsure:

 

Yes very happily. I've led my wife to many misadventures while caching. I have learned to listen more to her thoughts though.

 

El Diablo

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. :(

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

 

You must entice him to use the tree of knowledge of both good, and evil ways to locate a cache.

 

The good ways include parking coordinates.. <_<

Edited by 4wheelin_fool
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Eve - you have every right to be upset. However, I agree with several other posters that there is more than geocaching at the root of your problem. His outburst about geocaching being the end of your relationship is not only hurtful, but it is unnecessary and probably ridiculous. If he actually feels that way, I would suggest that HE has some growing up to do before he can successfully engage in a lasting and meaningful relationship.

 

Trust me - I am a divorced male who loves caching while my wife did not. I tried to get her interested because it was a way for her, our daughter, and myself to spend time together. I have my 9 year-old daughter hooked, but my ex just did not care for caching no matter how hard I tried. I often took the easier route in order to be considerate and had her using the GPSr instead of just tagging along just because I was thrilled that she was with me. I even limited how much I went caching so that I could spend more time doing things that she wanted to do, but in the end things didn't work out and she tried blaming the time I spent caching as a major factor. I could have quit caching and things still wouldn't have worked.

 

I try to take the harder routes when I'm by myself and take the easier routes when my daughter is with me now, but Lookergirl (as she likes to be called) begs to "go climbing and stuff" so then we take the road less traveled. :(<_<

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If you share a GPS kindly ask that he let you hold the GPS and find the path you prefer. If you each have your own simply place nearly dead batteries in his befoer starting out :(

 

I am the female half of our team and many times we also cache with our grown son, Zolgar. My guys are a real blessing, they scout out the best path for me to take and never leave me behind unless I tell them too. I don't have my own GPS yet but one of them is always willing to pass me one if they leave me. Our last caching trip one cache was a little too much of a hike and way too tough of terrain so I sent them on ahead and geo-pup, Shiloh, and I enjoyed a slow ramble along the path and the beautiful scenery and eventually the guys got back to me and helped me to the van. Hopefully once I recover from my hip replacement (early next month!) I'll not be as limited on terrain.

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I see nothing wrong with swamps!!

 

But one should be dressed appropriately. Many a female young and old have sought my cache and always come away with a smile.

 

The cache is disabled for now and the cache page is blank, but that will change with the arrival of spring. The wonderful aroma of Lysichiton Americanus is announcing the arrival of spring and the resultant enabling of yet another swamp cache.

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I see nothing wrong with swamps!!

 

But one should be dressed appropriately. Many a female young and old have sought my cache and always come away with a smile.

Yep, I can confirm this. Some of us girls actually enjoy the occasional bushwhack, mudbath, and clothing destruction. But hey, I'm not married. Hmmm....maybe there's a connection. <_<

 

OP: I agree with the other posters - you don't have to go with him to every cache. Do what is comfortable to you. I know plenty of couples where only one caches, or the other goes with him but brings a good book. I also know a few couples where the wife caches, and the husband doesn't (hates it, in fact). Takes all kinds.

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Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides

 

Well there's your first problem......getting direction from a device used for ON ROAD navigation. Make sure to tell Adam that even though Tom Tom told you to park in this dangerous spot, humans are supposed to use their supirior intelligence to make safe choices.

 

 

He'll probably just state and you and blink. After that just say, "I love you honey bunny" and tussle his hair a bit.

 

And by chance, does Adam also set his caches by throwing them out the window while he's tooling down the highway? Might explain some stuff.

 

By chance, is THIS Adam?

 

BEDFORD HILLS, N.Y. - A Global Positioning System can tell a driver a lot of things — but apparently not when a train is coming.

 

A computer consultant driving a rental car drove onto train tracks Wednesday using the instructions his GPS unit gave him. A train was barreling toward him, but he escaped in time and no one was injured.

 

The driver had turned right, as the system advised, and the car somehow got stuck on the tracks at the crossing. He jumped out and tried to warn the engineer by waving. He got out of the way just before the train slammed into the car at 60 mph, Metro-North railroad spokesman Dan Brucker said Thursday.

 

The car was pushed more than 100 feet during the fiery crash.

 

Some 500 train passengers were stranded for more than two hours during the Wednesday evening rush hour. The accident also heavily damaged 250 feet of rail, Brucker said.

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.

I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. <_<

P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.

 

Slogging through swamps and mud caked legs are half of the fun. At least I think so, and I'm glad I have a wife who agrees.

 

You can adjust your attitude, revel in the adventure and point to your mud caked legs with pride, or perhaps you're better off finding a hobby that will keep you happy while Adam is off slogging through swamps. It sounds like you aren't having fun, so perhaps geocaching isn't for you.

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.
Did Adam know that you were this upset? If so, I'm concerned that he chose to look for the cache instead of talking through the issue.
We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

At this point, did you tell him that you thought that you should park in the designated spot? Most of teh time, when a cache owner gives a parking location, they are actually doing you a favor by letting you know where the easiest, legal access to the cache is.
We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.
Do you complain too much or do you try to discuss things only to get the 'brush off'? If you are high maintenance and always complain about everything, I can understand Adam ignoring you. However, if you try to discuss things and Adam labels you as a complainer ever time that he disagrees, that's a different story.
I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. <_<

If your relationship is to survive, you both will need to learn to talk to each other. If you can't learn to discuss simple things like the best place to park, you will never be truly happy and difficult things like financial issues and family concerns will destroy you.
P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.
No worries, but remember that none of us are invested in your relationship. The best person to talk over these issues with is Adam.

 

Also, it is true that you two don't have to cache together all the time. It's possible that you both may enjoy geocaching, but not the same kinds of geocaches. Stick together for the ones that you'll both like, but don't hesitate to split up for those that only one of you like.

 

When I first started playing, I used to try to get my wife to go with me. The bug simply didn't bite her. While I like to believe that she liked a few caches, it got to the point that she would just hang out in the car while I went off in search for the cache. Soon, she was ready to stop for the day and I would get bummed. That led to me taking off for a day of caching and leaving her at home. She would then get peaved that I was wasting a day when stuff could be done at home. (Things will always need to be done at home, trust me.) Finally, I mapped out her schedule. I discovered that there were times that she was busy for hours on end. Those became 'Steve's caching times'. Sometimes, she doesn't even realize that I've been geocaching.

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.
Did Adam know that you were this upset? If so, I'm concerned that he chose to look for the cache instead of talking through the issue.
We drove up to Tybee Island, Ga today to have fun and geocache.

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.

At this point, did you tell him that you thought that you should park in the designated spot? Most of teh time, when a cache owner gives a parking location, they are actually doing you a favor by letting you know where the easiest, legal access to the cache is.
We muddle through the swamp and are halfway to the cache before Adam decides to go to the parking lot and walk from there. I'm mad cause we went through swamp just to turn back without the cache. I complained to Adam about my mud caked legs and he responded that geocaching would be the end of us, because I complain too much.
Do you complain too much or do you try to discuss things only to get the 'brush off'? If you are high maintenance and always complain about everything, I can understand Adam ignoring you. However, if you try to discuss things and Adam labels you as a complainer ever time that he disagrees, that's a different story.
I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache.

I'm not blaming geocaching, but I just wished Adam would pick the path more traveled instead of looking for difficult shortcuts. <_<

If your relationship is to survive, you both will need to learn to talk to each other. If you can't learn to discuss simple things like the best place to park, you will never be truly happy and difficult things like financial issues and family concerns will destroy you.
P.S. Thanks if you took the time to read this novel.
No worries, but remember that none of us are invested in your relationship. The best person to talk over these issues with is Adam.

 

Also, it is true that you two don't have to cache together all the time. It's possible that you both may enjoy geocaching, but not the same kinds of geocaches. Stick together for the ones that you'll both like, but don't hesitate to split up for those that only one of you like.

 

When I first started playing, I used to try to get my wife to go with me. The bug simply didn't bite her. While I like to believe that she liked a few caches, it got to the point that she would just hang out in the car while I went off in search for the cache. Soon, she was ready to stop for the day and I would get bummed. That led to me taking off for a day of caching and leaving her at home. She would then get peaved that I was wasting a day when stuff could be done at home. (Things will always need to be done at home, trust me.) Finally, I mapped out her schedule. I discovered that there were times that she was busy for hours on end. Those became 'Steve's caching times'. Sometimes, she doesn't even realize that I've been geocaching.

 

You are a brilliant man and a master of diplomacy.

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She would then get peaved that I was wasting a day when stuff could be done at home. (Things will always need to be done at home, trust me.) Finally, I mapped out her schedule. I discovered that there were times that she was busy for hours on end. Those became 'Steve's caching times'. Sometimes, she doesn't even realize that I've been geocaching.

 

You are a brilliant man and a master of diplomacy.

 

MAN, do I agree! I wish my husband would do the same! We enjoy caching together as a family, but there are other things, like his gaming, that I wish he'd do something like that with!!

 

I bet you've got a very happy wife, congratulations! <_<

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Somehow I get the distinct impression that it's not Geocaching per se that is 'ruining' your relationship but several things that are much more fundamental.

 

He likes (or at least doesn't mind) getting dirty...this is the SECOND time in a couple of weeks that you've come here and complained about dirty and yuck and such. If you've complained to us this much, chances are good that you've complained a whole lot more to him about it.

 

Two people in a relationship DON'T have to share ALL of their hobbies, maybe this is one that you're better off skipping altogether.

 

If you're determined to go along on geocaching trips, then you can either lighten up and accept that you're going to get dirty, bitten by bugs, etc. or you can take along a book to read in the car while he hunts for the cache OR you can convince him that every second cache has to be a citified one that you can do in heels... <_<

 

But don't be blaming geocaching for some very fundamental differences in what is fun and what's not!!

I agree very much with Magician's Apprentice's points above. The following notes are addressed to the OP, because, after all, you DID ask for some feedback, so here goes:

 

In addition to the points made by MA, above, I would add that the fact that you keep coming to the forums to whine about the matter to strangers indicates to that there are likely some far deeper issues in your relationship, and particularly in your own behavior/habits, than a geocaching issue; this goes way beyond geocching. It sounds to me like you perhaps feel that you two must share all activities, and that you thus force yourself to go geocaching with him when you do not really want to go. And it sounds to me like you may have some boundary problems, based upon the earlier-cited fact and the fact that you do not seem to be able to simply and clearly say to your partner "I have no interest in going after this cache; please feel free to go alone and have fun". And, in failing to set good and clear boundaries and in failing to communicate clearly with your partner, you are making yourself miserable, and then blaming your partner, along with geocaching, for the fact that you feel miserable, when it is really your own behaviors causing the feelings.

 

Since you asked for advice, here goes: I suspect that you would likely get great benefit from seeing a good psychotherapist who specializes in short-term modalities for two or three sessions to help you in letting go of some of your old baggage that seems to be getting in the way of setting clear boundaries. I wish you the best with this, as it sounds like that would be far more productive than whining about your issues on the forums and blaming others for your misery, rather than dealing with your issues.

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I'm currently sitting in my car crying while Adam tries to find a cache.

Did you have a set of keys, or did he leave the keys in the car???

 

Adam was lucky he didn't come back to an empty parking lot only to find a note on a nearby tree branch that said, "Adam, I've gone to find a few easy caches by myself, I'll be back to check on you later. You cache your way and I'll cache mine. Love ya."

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...I just don't like having to go through unnecessary trouble so that we can say we found the cache....

 

Then don't. Every time my caching partner decides to bushwack I'll walk 50' further the trail and find the right way in. There is no reason you can't do the same. Then instead of complaining about mud caked legs (which are sexy in geocachign circles) you would be gloating about your nice tanned uncaked legs (also sexy) because you found the right path in.

 

Goating and rubbing in success works better than complaining in most guys world view.

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...It's possible that you both may enjoy geocaching, but not the same kinds of geocaches. Stick together for the ones that you'll both like, but don't hesitate to split up for those that only one of you like...

 

Very true. My wife has a built in 5 cache limit. I've learned which ones she likes, which ones other like. When I plan a cache day with one person it's a different day than another. My wife doens't like death hikes and caching from sunup to sundown. Night Stalker can and does like a good all day cache day on occasion. It all gets factored in. My wife will come on a fishing trip that has a couple of caches here and there and have a perfectly great day. If her and her sister are planning a day of quilting. She likes nothing better than for me to make myself scarce and that's a good day to plan an all day death caching session with Night Stalker. It's all relative.

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I never know when Vinny is kidding, so I always assume that he is.
This time I think he's not, and further believe that his post is absolutely correct!

 

I think there may be a fair number of us who would, if asked by him, advise the man "RUN!"

I would suggest that some posters may possibly have read more into the OP than was actually written. We should probably all try not to project too much of our personal situations onto the posts of others.
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I never know when Vinny is kidding, so I always assume that he is.
This time I think he's not, and further believe that his post is absolutely correct!

 

I think there may be a fair number of us who would, if asked by him, advise the man "RUN!"

I would suggest that some posters may possibly have read more into the OP than was actually written. We should probably all try not to project too much of our personal situations onto the posts of others.

And, since it is the guy who is doing irrational things that are unnecessarily dangerous . . . <_<

Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.
there might be a few women reading this thread who want to say to Eve . . . "RUN." <_<

 

:unsure::unsure:

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Well the first cache we decide to go to Adam listening to stupid Tom Tom decides to pull over on the side of the road, cross a busy highway, to get to a cache instead of parking in the designated parking lot .70 miles away from the cache.
there might be a few women reading this thread who want to say to Eve . . . "RUN." :unsure::unsure:<_<

<_< If I was in the car, I would have said that after dropping Eve off at the parking coordinates 0.7 miles from the cache! :blink::unsure:
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:o My wife and I have a perfect relationship - I cache and she doesn't. When I return home with tales of adventure she smiles and pretends to be interested, she's the greatest. Likewise, when she does something exciting like yardsaleing I pretend to be excited for her. It works well for us.
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:o My wife and I have a perfect relationship - I cache and she doesn't. When I return home with tales of adventure she smiles and pretends to be interested, she's the greatest. Likewise, when she does something exciting like yardsaleing I pretend to be excited for her. It works well for us.
My wife and I are the same way. I've fished and hunted without her too. I think having our own time has been very healthy for our relationship of 24 years.
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For the most part I cache mostly solo or with my son. My wife has cached with me a few times but on 2 occasions I didn't listen to her and we ended up taking the wrong trail which led us through some very difficult terrain. One cache in particular had an upper and lower trail. I chose the lower trail only to find out that we had to climb a very steep hillside to score the cache. The funny part was that my wife was wearing flip flops and didn't put on her boots because I told her it was easy access right off of the groomed trail. Of course it was easy access if we would have taken the top trail like she wanted to. It's been almost 11 months ago and I still hear about it. :o Feel my pain! :D;) Here is the link to that particular adventure.

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